Keywords:
river,cruise,auto,washer,vehicle,transportation,bus,gas,war,car,tunnel,Big Dig
MRL Secret Squirrel's Thames River Cruise Management
Those who exercise and diet can live side by side in complete
harmony with those who party and indulge. Indeed,yes, each can
benefit the other. What needs be done, to benefit all, is to
configure paddle wheelers, both side and rear, such that the paddle
wheels are driven by treadmills. Thence an offer is made to join a
health club, for which there are no dues. Indeed the members would
exercise to their hearts content on the treadmills, turning the
paddle wheels driving the paddle wheeler up and down the Thames.
Of course, they can and will have to work in shifts, after all the
entire membership could not exercise at the same time. this would
make the vessel entirely environmentally friendly, thus pleasing
the Greens of society, the vessel being entirely non-polluting ,
and also not drain existing coal, nor oil natural resources.
The upper decks of the Thames riverboat, the vessel would be
configured so's to have a huge dining and dancing lounge, a
theater(panto), a movie house, and, of course, a gambling casino,
which members of the general public could enjoy, paying, of
course, a handsome membership and voyage fee in a social club atmosphere.
The entire arrangement could be run by, and benefit, the Thames
River Authority, and so's make Thames River management entirely
self-financing,whilst benefiting the public in assisting them in
keeping properly fit, and at the same time benefiting the carousing
and partying general public.
Secret Squirrel,
Minister of Re-Deranged Re-Engineering.
M.R.L
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MRL Chunnel Auto Washer
Must Britain always be last in modern engineering? Nay, it now can be in second place, but face it still not first rate. It has been noted by me, the existence of a secret American project, the so called Boston Big Dig, a project which cost a touch more than the Chunnel, but was only 10 times as short. Why did it cost so much
to build? Well, engineering wise I have fathomed their secret intent. Recently it was noted huge chunks of concrete fell from it's roof revealing the secret plan when a too large chunk fell off. Indeed it had been noted for some months that water was leaking from the ceiling, and so, it dawned on me, and struck many Americans on the head as well, that the enormous cost of the project was because they had incorporated in it's design,an automatically installing and developing engineering first, the AUTO WASH.
Indeed hidden in it's construction plans was a secret gift to the people of that area of our former colony, the Commonwealth of Massachusetts, the AUTO WASH. American cars would pass through the tunnel, and be automatically and conveniently washed as well. Of course, this was hidden from the people in order not to bring about a huge outcry from the car wash lobby. What I propose to do, is add this feature to the Chunnel, by simply knocking or drilling holes thither and yon, and so cars could be washed automatically as they pass through the Chunnel.
Of course, it is expected that tourists from France might revel in this free bath as well,then again,probably not.However, Britons might after their shower,grab a quick shave and so be crisp and decent,properly so, on their arrival home. There is also an added bonus by adding this AUTO WASH, it would act as a sprinkler system since so many trains have arrived from France with fires on them, the Auto Wash would also automatically put out the fires as well(it has been mentioned that a great many Frenchman are named...................Arsene). As stated before the Auto Wash would disappoint many Arsene-ists, but what of it.
Now well it might be said, that it would eventually fill the Chunnel with water, but only if left unchecked. The American project,in their foresight of said most definite effect, was fitted with water pumps. Of course we too shall fit water pumps, but much better ones than the Americans had in New Orleans,the American manufactured pumps,which obviously to the view of all, didn't function when required.We shall have ours made by the Chinese,who make so many things nowadays and obviously know what they're doing. And so, taking a page from the Americans, may I state,
"Auto Wash on Dudes!"
Secret Squirrel,
MRL,
Minister for Re-Deranged Re-Engineering,
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MRL Boilerplate Revival
I have pondered the problems of war, and concluded they're rather messy things.Some it seems wish to go and invade other places, to rule those places, simply because they're better than..............others invade because they're ignorant and lacking abilities or things such as minerals............others have nothing better to do...........and so most are forced to defend themselves. For those forced to defend themselves, it is costly, in terms of human lives,messy as well. I have pondered this and in my researches have found something rather interesting. I discovered, or rather, re-discovered, BOILERPLATE.
Boilerplate was a mechanical man developed by Professor Archibald Campion during the 1880s and unveiled at the 1893 World's Columbian Exposition.
Built in a small Chicago laboratory, Boilerplate was originally designed as a prototype soldier for use in resolving the conflicts of nations. Although it was the only such prototype, Boilerplate was eventually able to exercise its proposed function by participating in several combat actions.
In the mid-1890s, Boilerplate embarked on a series of expeditions to demonstrate its abilities, the most ambitious being a voyage to Antarctica. Boilerplate is one of history's great ironies, a technological milestone that remains largely unknown. Even in an age that gave birth to the automobile and aeroplane, a functioning mechanical man should have been accorded more significance.
Indeed what I propose to do, is revive the BOILERPLATE project, and create ROBOT WARS..........quite simply, we will never again send humans out to fight barbaric wars, but rather we will send ROBOTS........................we will send.............BOILERPLATES. It's really the only civilized thing to do for uncivilized conditions.
I'm sure there isn't a British mother who won't thank me,I,Secret Squirrel, who wish only the best for you!For all of you!
Secret Squirrel! Remember me! And also remember Archibald Campion.
Secret Squirrel,
MRL,
Minister of Re-Deranged Re-Engineering.
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Secret Squirrel Reveals The Natural Gas Powered Bus Secrets
Ah transportation problems, cheap inexpensive transportation, public transportation. But what are the secrets of this inexpensive form of transportation, the newly developed Gas Powered Bus? The newly developed Natural Gas Powered Bus? Well it is possible to now to ponder. Indeed, I have fathomed out the secret of the bus company.
Recently it has been discovered how economically people can be kept by such researches as have taken place in Guantanamo Bay Cuba, by the Americans of course, indeed kept in tiny battery cages, and fed a mostly economical bean diet.
Of course, this produces vast amounts of gas, natural gas. Ponder now the natural gas bus, and it's secret places beneath the bus hidden from view, ponder now the always necessary batteries being required for all vehicles.
Now, combine it all, the battery cages, the bean fed diet..........yes, indeed, these new hybrid Natural Gas Battery Buses are actually being run by Mexicans kept in battery cages beneath, the bus, force fed like so many Chinese Ducks, a diet of beans, and so produce the gas necessary for the bus motor to function!
I assure you, I am looking to a bright future and investing in bean futures!
Well, why should we be the last in these things. We must also climb on the bus, acquire vast quantities of Mexicans,from the Americas, who will be more than willing to supply them, remember the Fox-y Mexican President(who may or may not be receiving payment for each and every illegal immigrant supplied) doesn't even ask for them back.Britain must not be left behind by the Bus. We must immediately embark on an engineering program of research in to these new Natural Gas Powered Buses.
Secret Squirrel,
MRL,
Minister For Re-Deranged Re-Engineering.
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