The World Of Secret Squirrel

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Thursday, March 11, 2010

Secret Squirrel On Global WarmingSolutions Are At Hand!!

Keywords:

mrl,monster,raving,loony,party,global,warming,climate,change,cooling

MRL Encouraging The Fight Against Global Warming Gases.


Gee an American underwear manufacturer is doing his best to fight those noxious global warming gases.


The 'Under-Ease pants' feature a built-in, multi-layered replaceable filter, made of felt, charcoal and fiberglass wool.

To prevent gases escaping without passing through it, the underpants are made from air-tight fabric and completely sealed with elastic around the waistband and legs.

The inventor of the pants, Buck Weimer, describes the pants this way: "Under-Ease are underwear for protection against bad human gas".

"We get a lot of jokes - but we don't doubt that this is a serious product that serves a purpose. They can be worn anytime, anywhere - in bed, to work, at social events, including professional meetings or when travelling in any vehicle, including an airplane".

He says the pants are machine-washable and the filters can last several weeks.


It's jest something everybody can do to ease the global warming gas barrage earth suffers from., but can we get those who go underwear less like Britney Spears,Paris Hilton et all, those who contribute most to the problem by not wearing underwear at all, to condone,recant, and help us save the earth.......................or will our efforts be jest so much fart gas?



Secret Squirrel,

MRL,
Minister For Re-Deranged Re-Engineering.

...................................................................


M.R.L. Global Warming Solution Confirmed

Antarctic icebergs may offset carbon emissions
according to........(The Guardian)


"A massive tabular iceberg adrift in the Weddell Sea off the Antarctic peninsula.......................
Icebergs that break off Antarctica and drift away are hotspots of life and may help reduce the amount of carbon dioxide in the world's atmosphere, according to new research.American scientists said thousands of floating icebergs that had split from Antarctic shelves as a result of climate change were having a major impact on the ecology and chemistry of the ocean around them.
The icebergs hold nutrients that they release far out to sea as they melt, sustaining a community of seabirds, krill, fish and phytoplankton spread over a radius of up to two miles around each one.
University of South Carolina geochemist Timothy Shaw, one of the authors of the study, said: "The Southern Ocean lacks a major source for terrestrial material due to the absence of major rivers.
"The icebergs constitute a moving estuary, distributing terrestrial-derived nutrients that are typically supplied by rivers in other areas of the oceans."
The phytoplankton sustained by the icebergs absorbs CO2 from the water around it, the study said. This could have important implications for climate change research, as it may mean the world's oceans will be able to absorb more CO2 from the atmosphere than previously thought................................."


Well now here it is,my theory, my solution to the global warming crisis. Yes, I can firmly state, as is evidenced by my previous solutionary writings upon the very subject of Global Warming, has been completely confirmed by scientific fact. Indeed I stated, quite directly, that ice burgs should be encouraged to break off, and be directed in to the Gulf Stream, where they would swirl around and melt, just as ice cubes are swirled around in a drink, to coll the drink, here the icebergs would cool the earth and so reverse Global Warming, cooling earth. Indeed yes.Note the effects further on CO2 emissions, note the reducing effect on those as well, creating an atmospheric CO2 scrubber as well! Now Branson has stated that should a solution be found,those who find it will be well rewarded............however I must state that when I presented myself at his gates, I was met with the customary greeting for those of lesser means........................"Sod Off Mate!"Perhaps it was my noted scientific remarks that he wear underwear as a fart filter to reduce Global Warming emissions, that irritated him. Oh well Sutch it is with men of science and engineering.But I am displeased,and indeed at least they remember me in North Cheam.

Also, I should add, further, that my part of the solution is a placating political one as well, preventing a war, and providing England with solid income. Some of the broken off ice bergs will be towed to America, thence sold to the Americans. You see, the Americans need oil, so they have these wars to procure oil for themselves. Now they need water, and the Canadian colonials fear that America will declare war on them in efforts to get what little they have......................water. Well, here we solve that problem as well, and contribute to Global Cooling, and reduce and defeat Global Warming, and stop another American invasion of the colony!

Secret Squirrel,
M.R.L.,
Minister For Re-Deranged Re-Engineering.

.....................................................


Global Warming,The Ultimate Final Cure

Nuclear winter is a hypothetical global climate condition that is predicted to be a possible outcome of a large-scale nuclear war. It is thought that severely cold weather can be caused by detonating large numbers of nuclear weapons, especially over flammable targets such as cities, where large amounts of smoke and soot would be injected into the Earth's stratosphere. The term has also been applied to one of the after-effects of an asteroid impact or supervolcano eruption.

Large quantities of aerosol particles dispersed into the atmosphere would significantly reduce the amount of sunlight that reached the surface, and could potentially remain in the stratosphere for months or even years. The ash and dust would be carried by the midlatitude west-to-east winds, forming a uniform belt of particles encircling the northern hemisphere from 30° to 60° latitude (as the main targets of most nuclear war scenarios are located almost exclusively in these latitudes). The dust clouds would then block out much of the sun's light, causing surface temperatures to drop drastically.

So..........................we atom bomb places we don't need or don't

like...........................like...........................pick your favorite place.......if you were British you have two places, Germany and France seem to share each other..........but who's to decide........................you?Well, somebody do the right thing, pick and save us all.The Lord alone knows New Labour would choose Parliament.

Secret Squirrel,
MRL,
Minister for Re-Deranged Re-Engineering

........................................................



Secret Squirrel,Re-Engineering The World..........Today!

Global Warming................What If........


Hmmmmmmmmmmm...Global Warming, is it all that bad? Well, no, not for Britain! Global warming implies warmer climes, higher temperatures. This is supposed to increase the level of water, the oceans. This would mean Britain would have
comfortable beaches inland,obviating the necessity of traveling to the coasts to get to the beaches, also what with the increased temperatures Britain would be a beach paradise, making it unnecessary to travel to tropical beaches.
The resultant water rise would also eliminate the tropical beaches that presently exist, meaning they would have to travel to Britain, increasing tourism and the pounds gained from tourism rather than just eating.We would have palm trees dotting the West Midlands. Of course it may have a drawback in that politicians would tell us to go husk coconuts,but then that's the only thing they haven't yet told us to do so what of it?

It would also flood a few cities, creating unimaginably beautiful Venices in Britain, attracting yet more tourists whom we could literally punt down the streets, something Britons can mostly only dream of doing nowadays.

Also the resultant sea rise would unquestionably drown many Frenchman, and bathe the rest in water thus creating a much better European climate. Also the Dutch dykes would be easily penetrated, and you know how difficult it is to sandbag one of those.

It would also boost the flagging British shipbuilding industry with demands for the building of huge arks,creating thousands of jobs! The PETA people would have to bung up what with their being no demand for furs. One could only hope that they wouldn't take up a cause against the stuffing of wild bikinis.Of course these would proliferate round and about Britain, no doubt bringing strained relations with the Americans who are against all forms of proliferation except their own.
Canadian Greenpeace and the Greens would be no problem at all as it would thence be entirely proven that they were all at sea.

Is Global Warming really a bad thing, or jest one that's bad for everybody else? Myself I'm all for really firing up the barbie!


Secret Squirrel,
MRL.
Minister for Re-Deranged Re-Engineering.

....................................................


Global Warming? What! Me Worry?

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm global warming....is it all it's cracking up to be? How are we pondering global warming? Well, we're standing around pondering global warming whilst swishing round the ice in our drinks, in short we are cooling off as our drinks are cooling off. Well I have pondered that the earth is actually doing the same thing. Notice we have our earthquakes starting up again. Well, the earth has responded by shaking itself, and ever swirls around the oceans as it is turning. Scientists have noticed a rate change there as well. What the earthquakes do is to break off chunks of Greenland, Danish scientists have noticed this, creating more iceburg ice cubes. Similarly the Australians have noticed huge chunks of their Antarctic ice fields are floating about. This creates the ice cubes the world needs to cool itself off. The earth has further responded by altering it's spin rate(rate of turning as it were), and so swirls the produced ice burg chunks(natural ice cubes) round and about the oceans, naturally cooling off the earth and eliminating the warm effects of global warming. One see how readily the earth has naturally responded with naturally sound, tried,true and tested engineering. And now, no longer worrying about global warming, I shall return to cooling off whilst pondering my ice filled drink which I'm happily assisting in cooling by swirling it around.

Global Warming indeed,why in a few short days up here in the wilds of Canadian Colony I shall be standing with my globe in snow, weathering horrificly great blowing blizzards of snow and ice................Global Warming indeed.
Bah! Humbug!



Secret Squirrel,
MRL,
Minister for Re-Deranged Re-Engineering.

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