Keywords:
pneumatic,subway,transportation,cannon,congestion,dams,lottery,lotteries,flood,protection,bridges,engineering
Secret Squirrel's great engineering projects, projects that rival the engineering and genius of The Great Engineer,Isambard Kingdom Brunel. Brunel once said,"If there's an engineer greater than me, I shall do pinwheels in my grave." Well, down at the cemetary, he's known as Pinwheel Ishie. See,read, the genius of Secret Squirrel and his engineering projects, projects for a better world. See the world of engineering from Secret Squirrel's great vision.
MRL Things of Political Atmospherics
Well now, the MRL is hardly full of air, hot or otherwise, but engineeringwise, we know how to generate a cyclone of interest in our engineering projects. Indeed, as we proceed in modern times with our backsides to the future, it was to posterity that we looked and found a new method of transportation technology that has fallen by the wayside.Obviously we cannot allow this to go unnoticed but must move forwards by taking steps backwards and applying this technology to subway(tube), and above ground transportation as it was intended to do, by men of great vision and foresight, the engineering plans dashed by men of futuristic hindsight who saw to it's failure.After all, you know, engineered vehicular transport devices that worked in the past, will work in the future as well.....
The great engineer, Isambard Kingdom Brunel, was converted to atmospheric or pneumatic railways, first mooted in 1810, after witnessing a demonstration in Ireland in September 1844. The system, which had been patented in 1838, entailed the use of a cast-iron tube laid between rails, to which carriages were attached by a valve. Pumping stations powered by steam engines at the side of the track forced air out of the tubes, thereby creating a vacuum to one side of the carriages and an "atmosphere" to the other, thus propelling them along.
The Alfred Ely Beach Pneumatic Railway was New York City’s earliest subway. It had a single station located in the basement of the house located at the corner of Warren Street and Broadway.
Passengers were carried in a car pushed forward by the pneumatic pressure generated by a huge fan. At the end of the tunnel, near Murray Street, the car stopped. The rotation of the fan was reversed and the car was "sucked" back to Warren Street station.
I too, have been converted to atmospheric plans so intend to revive the genius of these two great engineers and combine it with my own grand engineering techniques. A major problem with the systems was the generation and loss of air it seems. Of course modern technology can be applied to solve these lossy gas problems.
Also the method of generation of air was not up to standards even in those days. Nowadays we have all learned, politicians axed the plans of these great men and they were were full of hot air,full of the air of nothing. Knowing this, I shall apply these political failures to become great successes, in short, we need air, politicians generate air, and also, let me tell you, politicians really suck. By stationing each operating day, politicians suitably in stations at each end of the system, there they can read their long winded speeches with the air of nothing, at one end they will blow out their hot air, and at the other, we will have the lot who really suck. By having mixed sets at each end, one set of each, and suitably having one set blowing air at one end, and at the destination end we will the set who really suck working..............so we will move our passenger cars through the system.
We will never be at a loss for air. So to will modern politicians be made to work for the people,if they can be gathered in a group, ball and chained, and whipped frequently!
Secret Squirrel,
MRL,
Minister For Re-Deranged Re-Engineering.
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The MRL Is Cannon
Well now, the City of London has been smiled on greatly through the centuries,especially with respect to the barrier of the Thames. Well The Thames is no barrier,bridges have been built across, the great Brunel's father started, and Brunel finished, a tunnel beneath the Thames, one which is still used to this very day, at least until the Heritage people get their hands on it whence it will be closed to preserve it from posterity, and whomever else might want to use it thereafter, in the hereafter. Indeed now there is even yet a proposal to have a , get this, cable car system across it. Well and good, no doubt there will be a great charge for this. I propose also to smile on the city of London, and present it with a great charge, but not a charge to those using my system to cross the Thames, indeed what I propose to do is to revive the sound idea of pneumatic cannon. These cannon still exist today, having been born out of attempts to hurl dynamite charges safely without exploding them to land on decks of ships and wherever and whatever and there to explode. Only air cannon could supply the safe cushion charge of air to hurl the projectile without exploding the dynamite in the barrel transit. This idea was thereafter toyed with, and developed to the form of circus cannon. Well, the idea is sound, and it is safe from an engineering standpoint, and INDEED has been safely proven,tested,and recorded on film, by A Thousand Clowns. Well, send in the clowns,again. We shall install a Air Cannon system on each side of the Thames, and for a minimal charge, I couldn't resist, fire them happily across to safely land in a net and there to proceed with their day's doings. It will be surely less taxing (Labor will no doubt initiate this one day we all suspect), than walking across by bridge, less taxing than driving across(you know, congestion tax, road tax), and surely as well take far far less time than the Cable Car system. It also will be enormously faster than either method once the cannon is fired you know. All that remains is for the MRL to be able to gift the already gifted people of London with a sound (chuckle,snort,chortle) air tight(yet more) engineering idea.Ever forwards we proceed with our backsides to the future.
Secret Squirrel,
MRL,
Minister For Re-Deranged Re-Engineering.
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MRL Solves Congestion Charge Technologically.
Thousands of drivers from outside the UK are not paying London's congestion charge,but Britons are.And isn't it so that Tony Blair and his Labor Party are meaning to have you purchase a tracking device for your car and paying a monthly bill to use it. The tracking device will cost about £200(400$U.S.) and in a recent study by the BBC, the lowest monthly bill was £28($56U.S.) for a rural florist and £194($388) for a delivery driver,then additionally. Is there a way out for the driving Briton, the government of Tony Blair, says "You all can go fly!!"......................and so, we just may.........
Roadable Aircraft - Aerocar Aerocar
Moulton B. Taylor dreamed of producing a roadable aircraft, which could be used as a family car and, as the need or inclination arose, have wings, tail and propellor quickly attached. After World War 2, Taylor set to work to produce such a vehicle, and by late 1949 a prototype Aerocar had flown.
On 13th December, 1956, the improved production Aerocar 1 received FAA certification. Four further Model 1s were built, for demonstration and sale. The six Aerocars so far built accumulated over 200,000 road miles and 5,000 flight hours. The final version was a much improved Aerocar III, converted from a model 1.
The car itself was a fairly conventional front-wheel-drive automobile. The power plant was an Avco Lycoming O-320 aircraft engine in the rear of the vehicle. This drove either the road wheels or, via an extended drive shaft in the detachable tail boom, a propeller to the rear of the Y-form tail structure. Braced monoplane wings were fitted in high configuration to the rear of the car. Unless the wings and tail boom were all correctly engaged, it was not possible to start the engine for flight.
Conversion from air to road could be achieved by one person in five minutes. The detached aircraft components could be towed behind the car in folding wheels fitted to the wing roots.
The Aerocar project ended with the passing of new legislation relating to automobiles in the United States. To meet 1970s requirements, the Aerocar would have to become too heavy and expensive to be practical.
And so the Hafner Rotabuggy was consigned to the better ideas of history past, and forgotten, till........................today.
Engineering work continued, militarily.............
and there came the Flying Jeep.
The work of the Airborne Forces Experimental Establishment at Ringway, Manchester, on the Rotachute from 1940 onwards led to the suggestion that the free-wheeling autogyro principles employed could also be applied to larger loads. The designer, Raoul Hafner, suggested the Rotabuggy, a Jeep (or "Blitz Buggy") with rotors, and the Rotatank, a similarly modified Valentine tank. A development contract was placed with the M.L. Aviation Company at White Waltham in 1942, covered by specification 10/42.
Preliminary tests involved loading a Jeep with concrete and dropping it from heights of up to 7 ft. 8 in. (2.35 m.), demonstrating that the standard vehicle could survive undamaged from impacts of up to 11g. A 46 ft. 8 in. (12.4 m.) dia. two-blade rotor was then fitted, as well as a streamlined tail fairing with twin rudderless fins. Other additions were perspex door panels, a 'hanging' rotor control next to the steering wheel and a rotor tachometer and glider navigational instruments.
The Rotabuggy, camouflaged, carrying RAF roundels and a prototype "P", was tow tested behind a 4½ litre supercharged Bentley, and achieved gliding speeds of up to 65 mph (105 km/h) IAS.
The first flight was made on November 16, 1943. Later, some flights were made behind a Whitley bomber from Sherbourne-in-Elmet.
One witness described how she watched a Whitley take off with a Jeep in tow, circle and land. The Jeep, still in tow, did not touch down at the same time, and the witness realised that its occupants "were unhappy". With the pilot holding the hanging control column and the driver clutching the steering wheel, the Jeep made a series of up and down movements, whilst the audience hoped it would stall on a 'down' rather than an 'up'.
This it fortunately did, the driver taking over and driving flat-out after the Whitley, to which it remained attached. When it stopped, nobody got out for a while; the pilot was then assisted out and lay down beside the runway to recover. Apparently he was exhausted from trying to control the joystick, which had whipped in circles for the whole flight.
Apparently this flight was one of the worst, and the handling and flying qualities of the Rotabuggy were officially recorded as "highly satisfactory", especially when large tail fins had been fitted and greater rotor blade articulation provided. However, development of Horsa II and Hamilcar vehicle carrying gliders made further development of the idea unnecessary.
Now the existing technology could be applied and upgraded..................the time is now...............by reviving sutch a concept we could vastly reduce road traffic congestion, and just imagine, not being on a ROAD, the Labor government could not use and apply a road tax, nor could any other existing government of England. And now after having gotten this far in my proposal, you realize that it's certainly not a taxing engineering idea.
Secret Squirrel,
MRL,
Minister for Re-Deranged Re-Engineering.
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M.R.L. Dam Building Technology.
Just look at the massive Three Gorges Dam built in Red China, took years to build, massive amounts of equipment and workers, all that problem diverting river water etc so the dam could've been built. Had Red China included the M.R.L. in the negotiations for construction, and engineering, it could've been built much cheaper, much faster and much easier. Yes quite simply it is in our nature to do things the easy way, let somebody else build it as long as we don't have to, build only when necessary. Indeed, what should've been done, is simply to have released beavers in
to the river(American beavers would've been used as they have sense to move when they cut down trees, many Canadian beavers are found squashed beneath trees simply because they haven't the wits to move themselves at the right time).
The beavers would then have started to dam up the river. We would've supplied the beavers with more and more materials with which to build the dam further. Now, this would've created the necessary working coffer dam, and the beavers would have continued to build it up and maintain it. Behind this, work on the concrete dam could thence have proceeded as planned, all in perfect safety and in a totally dry environment. When the dam was completed, we would then simply have slowly and properly, mind, blasted away the beaver dam. We could then, being kind in our natures to nature, and to appease any Greens complaints about things, taken the beavers and housed then suitably till they were required for yet another such project.
Secret Squirrel,
M.R.L.
Minister for Re-Deranged Re-Engineering.
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Ah Lotteries........................the very mechanism of it...the mind boggles...interesting it all is...................especially the multitudinous variety of payout ones existent in many lands, Canada for example, where,zounds and zooks, the very air abounds with lotteries at utterly unbelievable payouts, large and small in their structure, 15 20 million grand down to 35$ lowest for same lottery payouts etc etc etc et all,.........and the massive payouts in all of them, prizes unbelievable,unheard of large figures,great and to the smaller,even yet El Gourdo is a pittance in the colony of Canada............................well, what is the advantage of having these lotteries...........and how do they work.......
M.R.L. Lottery Policy
Lottery!!! LOTTERIES!!! Ah yes! the grand lottery, the great gamble where a little can get a lot.
Lotteries!! Gambling indeed! There's much money to be made in gambling, in lotteries, a great lot
all round, great for the lottery company, great for a winner. Great for a government, great when it
runs the lottery. There's much profit to be made, in running the lottery, taking more in than paying out,
as the system is supposed to work. But,how now? Let us examine a rather interesting system, a system run
in a foreign nation, the very foreign nation, the third world nation,the colony of Canada, that vast great
hinter land of the world.How do they run their lottery,profitably,profitably, and yet then more...........
how now.............
Firstly let us consider, it's all a monopoly, wherever it is, a government monopoly, a federal government
monopoly as their federal government runs theirs, then there's the lottery monopolies run by each of
their provinces(similar to Shires such as in our England). Each province has a lottery board which controls
the lotteries they run, to each their own, and to each the entire control, and,of course, collection of
lottery profits. Of course, the lottery must take more in than it pays out, to make a profit and keep
running.Evidently the system run by Canada and it's provinces is an expansion of the system run in Las Vegas
so it would make sense to adapt similar lottery rules,structures and government controls so nobody would
complain about it, after all it would profit the government(s), the winners,the people of the land, and this
the point isn't it, or at least, partly.
Now,how does a lottery run? Well, Firstly, people select numbers and buy tickets, in denominations of $10,
5 or 1, herein let us imagine it is pounds as it would be for here,Britain,our cash strapped nation which would
make money off it all just as they do in Canada, and the people who would have vast amounts of currency made
equitably available to the people,or rather winners, and, of course, profit money is applied to the government
itself for it to spend. So far we're all with it here. Now each lottery has a first prize, the grand prize, then
several prizes beneath that of lessening value, based on the grand prize level. We won't bother with the many tiny
payouts of extra tickets(lost revenues there),$1,10$ and paltry $100 and 1000$ payouts(let's pretend pounds since our lottery
is a let's make believe lottery isn't it), there can be regular payouts of wins of say as much as 25million, 50million,
dollars or pounds, and the the lesser values, all totaled up at any given time, in yet just one lottery, and then there are
many many others in the same provinces and so the system is in all the provinces there.
Then, let's total all the payouts up...........................and, we then discover, that in that tiny nation of
30million, they seem to have the population of two China's buying tickets just to pay for the winners! Indeed then there's yet the government
profits as well to take in to account!!That's just not millions, nor billions, that's TRILLIONS!!! And each year too!!!
My my, such vast money floating around a tiny miniscule insignificant nation with no discernable
economy! Imagine, what could be done were this lottery system could be applied in England, with it's much
greater of population!! Imagine yet, even Britain with it's vastly greater number of employed who can afford to buy lottery
tickets! The mind boggles just as does the thought of the vast currency so available all round in that
foreign welfare unemployed no economy nation!!!!!!
How does it all work? Why does it all work??It's all a monopoly, a monopoly game, using monopoly money!
So the game's afoot, we will apply more printing of government monopoly money and spread it all around and
make everyone in Britain part of the game,that's the name of the game....MONOPOLY!!!!And everybody will have
vast amounts of monopoly money, and if not, they can win it in the governments controlled lotteries!
Why imagine,such vast amounts money in British hands, money of such by comparison, magnitude which would result,
money such that Britain's regular lottery winners could afford to buy General Motors, Ford,General Electric,
Westinghouse,Boeing,Lockhead,Consolidated Edison, Exxon Oil etc. Somebody stop me!! Or Us!! Let them try!!
Britain could once again establish itself in internal industry and industry about the world.
Imagine if I could win, I could buy Australia outright and apply it as a vacation resort!!!
And so Britain would once more be employed,would once more own industries, and then the Blair,and similar governments,
could afford to sell the all again to the French and the Germans, not being able to think of little else.
But not if there was a total M.R.L. government, and all it takes is your vote....the M.R.L. Wants You!!...
to point our finger at as it's all your fault..........you're being fingered.............remember....when
you vote..........vote for me.........vote for me as your M.R.L. write-in candidate, and vote for change,for improvement,
for the betterment of the British people...anything less is utter..................lunacy.
Are you....................game?
Secret Squirrel,
MRL,
Minister For Re-Deranged Re-Engineering.
...........................................................
MRL Walled City Flood Protection Plan
Well now, there have been interesting MRL projects and solutions to deal with the massive flooding England has
experienced, projects such as adapting and living with and in flood conditions, adapting to a total flood living
environment and living with it much as does Venice, then there are our drainage projects to drain flooding away.But
there is still one more method of dealing with floods that we really must consider, a method the ancients, our wise
engineering ancestors have taught us, their legacy of protecting the people. How you say?
Well........................Castles, our homes were and are our castles, but they lack what castles
had.....walls.....now it's a bit complex to ring each home, but imagine now, entire walled cities, as they were in
ancient times, but walled such as to be able to shut themselves in and keep the flood waters out!! Indeed we could have
flood doors at entry roads to the cities, and rail lines as well!! Shut these during times of flooding, and the entire
city is protected!! Ha! Problem solved!!
I'll bet you didn't think it was that simple, but it is!! What protected our ancestors, can work to protect us!
Ever onwards, we move forwards,looking back,moving forwards,with our backsides to the future.
Secret Squirrel,
M.R.L.,
Minister For Re-Deranged Re-Engineering.
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Bridges,The New outlook? Look Out!MRL Improved Bridge Engineering.
Well what's up with bridge collapses in North America?Canada and the United States that's what, and their engineers and designs,their ideas of a good cheap bridge, slap dash rapidly constructed. Well, to put it quite properly, it's problem is this urge to unitized construction, utilize the cheapest material possible,build for the future...........build one again in a few years to replace it,the North American engineering outlook! That's the problem.! That and not being able to ascertain that it is the time to change the bridges once more! yes! Indeed, taht's their problem! So, what do we do to see to it that it not become ours? Well now...............
The Romans' legacy to bridge building was the heavy masonry arch bridge, hundreds of which were built throughout Europe. In this, large stone blocks were wedged against each other to form an arch. The central stone at the top of the arch was known as the keystone. The finest surviving example of such a bridge is the Pons Fabricius in Rome. Completed in 62 BC, the bridge (now called the Ponte Quattro Capi) has two fine semicircular arches each spanning 78 feet. A small "relief" arch in the central sponging of the two main arches releases excess water in times of flood.Still standing and carrying modern traffic today, 2007, as are and do many such Roman designed,engineered and constructed bridges.
So prolific and efficient was Roman building that it was hundreds of years before Europeans took to bridge building anew. Then, in the 12th century Catholic priests and professionals took over the building of bridges because the Church recognized the advantages of good road communications in a developing society. In France a group of interested priests formed a new order, the Freres du Pont, to design and build lasting bridges. Most famous of this order's works was the Pont d' Avignon, built in 1177 over the Rhone River. It had 21 arches in all, the longest spanned 115 feet. Similarly in England it was Peter de Colechurch who designed and built the first stone bridge over the Thames, the famous London Bridge. Another was done by the architect-priest Giovanni Giocondo (c. 1433-1515) who used the segmental arch in Paris' first masonry bridge, built in 1507.These still standing, in use today,2007.
In 1878 the City architect Horace Jones proposed a bascule bridge. 'Bascule' comes from the French for 'see-saw', and a bascule bridge at street-level has two 'leaves' that can be raised on a horizontal axis to let ships pass on the river.
And so Tower Bridge was constructed, still standing an din use today,2007.
Sir John Fowler and Sir Benjamin Baker, who designed a structure that was built by Sir William Arrol's company between 1883 and 1890,Firth Of Forth bridge, a railway bridge true, but could be fitted with a road deck, and is still in use today,2007.
Well, obviously the ancients knew how to design bridges, how to build bridges.So what's with these collapsed bridges in North America? Well now, to avoid such occurrences in future on our side of the puddle, so must we simply turn to the ancients, build from and with the very best of lasting materials,and build the bridges exactly as they built them.....as they engineered them,making them longer in exact fashion as needed, exactly as they were designed,and we won't have any problem at all.
Secret Squirrel,
M.R.L.,
Minister For Re-Deranged Re-Engineering.
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