I,Secret Squirrel,have carefully researched the method by which I shall be elected,voted in to be Member of Parliament,MP,for Dunny On The Wold and possibly also Prime Minister of Britain!Determined to get elected,I have pondered the problem, and I have taken the following steps.
1) I have declared the piece of land I live on,here,commonly referred to as my house in the hinterland colony of Canada,population one,as being separated from Canada,seceding, and succeeding, becoming an independent micronation as it were, a principality specifically, that of Dunny On The Wold.I have succeeded where Quebec has failed! I have simply declared myself independent......so there. I've also decided to name it Dunny On The Wold, and make it, and
myself,a Principality.On being a Principality,it legally justifies existence much as that of Monaco.
2) Having decided that it's been too much to run my own economy and currency,(face it the potato based currency isn't working, the 8 Pirate's Treasure potatoes I planted haven't multiplied yet), I have decided,on the behalf of the people and for the good of the people,well in time for the British election,I've decided to annex myself,err, Dunny On The Wold, to England.
Thus again, a British citizen and subject by absorption, I then abdicated the throne......now not being Royalty any longer, I can't refer to myself as His Royal Highness, but, I have retained the right to be referred to as Prince, by those who wish to, a right conferred on me,forced on me, by the people of Dunny On The Wold.
3) In exchange for the annexation, I have then declared myself it's only voter,and indeed can be it's only voter.It's true mother lives here in Dunny On The Wold, but at 86 hasn't the faintest comprehension of what I have done.In short, I have created my own rotten burough.......err Constituency with a population of one.Controlling the only house,I control the population and do not allow nor anticipate immigration in.Of course,the Polish being what they are I may find some camped in the backyard,but remember, they'll have no vote,not being citizens.
I await the election in great anticipation,I am running as the MRL candidate, and anticipate victory.
Now what makes all this possible? Well.............here's how it all works,explained, rather than simply outlined...............
The whole arrangement of getting myself safely elected keys on the principles of the fact that outer areas,or so called colonies,annexed or otherwise, must have representation in Parliament,from members elected within.Now in the principle of it all,continuing,we look at Old Sarum,one of England's cherished old boroughs,sometimes called a rotten borough,or decayed borough or a pocket borough,being referred to as rotten,or decayed due to say, wood rot in one of the three houses it had,here there's only one, but logic dictates since 3.6 persons to a house.The pocket borough refers to the actual size proportion compared with those aspiring politicians who either preferred larger population areas or else,most probably, couldn't figure out how to shrink it to a suitable size for election purposes.Well, that won't do, can't have half persons,really, so one house one voter is the proper ratio, for here,besides I said so and I was the Prince of the Principality of Dunny On The Wold, and though I have since abdicated,that changes noting as it would require an act of Parliament to change that, and they simply have not been bothered to quite obviously. In event of rumblings I shall appeal to party and the House of Lords, which may or may not be present at that time......and yes, you're right, I do sense a plot here directed specifically against Dunny On The Wold,in fact I would go on to say that I firmly believe the machination to destroy the House Of Lords, rather than simple reform, was, and is, specifically, directed and was created, to threaten Dunny On The Wold! Oh but there's Dis and Dishonesty in present government!
Well, let me tell you, as far as any legislation in Parliament goes, Dunny On The Wold, will outlast The House Of Lords! You also noticed that I wisely chose PM versus House Of Lords member,well actually there were a few obstacles there, primarily being that I realized there was the plot to remove the House Of Lords to prevent my appeal on their future attempt to perhaps remove Dunny On The Wold, but also, one has to be misfortunately selected to be A Lord(my
system of election is much easier to get in to government,(perhaps they'll consider electing Lords to make that much easier),also Dunny On The Wold has not a single cat, so the making of one's Lord Robes is extremely difficult as the number of cats required to make the fur robes is prohibitive when there are no cats as such available.
Further,I shall continue on to elaborate how this rotten borough, errrr...micronation
creation...errr........Principality creation.....err........my efforts to become elected to Parliament,well Old Sarum sent 2 members to parliament, with 11 voters,or actual population as not everybody was allowed to vote, Lord Nelson for example,had a boat, not a vote. Well, mine sends only one with one voting, this is not to say that total votes couldn't be landslide victory at say 16,472 to 0 by margin.So I sense victory is at hand!
I wonder what the Queen shall say when I tell here. And oh yes, I shall not forget to tell her, when invited to tea, that I would appreciate,most deeply, and be most highly honored, to have her appoint me as Prime Minister, as she can select,most certainly, anyone she chooses,elected or not,majority party leader or not,but I shall most certainly be elected in my riding.I shall most certainly have to send her a letter about this. Oh good heavens, Dunny On The Wold has no
stamps,nor post office! Oh dear,all this shall go unnoticed,perhaps it's all better for Dunny On The Wold!
Secret Squirrel,
MRL,
Minister For Re-Deranged Re-Engineering.
(Future M.P.,(P.M.?) Dunny On The Wold)
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