Keywords:
mrl, New Years Day,April Fools Day, reform, government,secret squirrel
MRL To Switch New Years Day With April Fools.
Well now it is left to the MRL to set right the present confusion and problem of January 1st New Year, and April 1st,April Fools Day.
Historically,and I have carefully researched this, in 1564 France reformed its calendar,under King Charles IX of France, first Duke Of Orleans(Charles-Maximilien,He succeeded in 1560 his brother Francis II, under the regency of his mother, Catherine de' Medici,father,Henri II) moving the start of the year from the end of March to January 1.Unquestionably he was most severely influenced by many generations of his French inbreeding,Ghonneria, Herpes,and Siphallis. Those who failed to keep up with the change, who stubbornly clung to the old calendar system and continued to celebrate the New Year during the week that fell between March 25th and April 1st, had jokes played on them.
Pranksters would surreptitiously stick paper fish to their backs. The victims of this prank were thus called Poisson d’Avril, or April Fish—which, to this day, remains the French term for April Fools—and so the tradition was born.
Then in in 1582, Pope Gregory XIII (AKA “Ugo Boncompagni”, 1502-1585) abandoned the traditional Julian calendar. The Gregorian calendar differs from the Julian in three ways:
(1) No century year is a leap year unless it is exactly divisible by 400 (e.g., 1600, 2000, etc.);
(2) Years divisible by 4000 are common (not leap) years; and
(3) once again the New Year would begin with the date set by the early pagans, the first day of the month of Janus - January 1,probably when influenced by
the consumption of too much sacrificial wine,going with the ridiculous French King's New Years idiocy.
However be that as it may we really must approach Parliament with a private members bill in the very least, and change back to the traditional,and ROMAN, New Year's date of April 1st to reverse the confusion of things.You see, all the New Year's superstitions which influence and assist it, as they may, good or ill, are based on the true date of New Years, April 1st, and hence only work when done,performed, applied on the REAL New Years Day, not on the actual and ridiculously fake date of
January 1st, hence our lives are usually horribly wrong, at least for those who don't celebrate the proper New Years day ,of April 1st. Of course, this does not by any means mean we cannot party like nuts on January 1st, we can retain that custom and tradition and celebrate it as does everybody else, but it means we do the exact same thing for the April 1st date.
Now for those who won't and don't we can play tricks and japes on the January 1st, and also, well, in keeping with the French tradition, and especially for the French, most certainly if they are in Britain on January 1st, or we can go to France to do it there as well,we shall pin a fish on the Frenchman, and anybody else who is celebrating January 1st.Now I realize it is austerity, and being a traditionalist, we must keep to character, we pin sardines, which are very much cheaper than
large fish, and come many in tins, to those. I prefer to use the proper right fish, in preference to the fake paper fish.And so those so tagged and celebrating New Year on that day, will properly be known as Poisson d'Janviers,or January Fish,the french for January Fool!! So now we have settled everybody's fish, and hash,and have gone back to the right high traditional and proper New Years date, of April 1st! HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!! And don't forget to celebrate January Fools Day!!
Secret Squirrel,
MRL,
Minister For Re-Deranged Re-Engineering.
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