Secret Squirrel Solves The Global National Debt Problem

Secret Squirrel has turned his attention to the national debt of nations of the world with the intent of solving their huge national debt problems and believes Squirrel has solved that very problem.He we commence to ponder the problem,analyze it.So the national debt of all nations is...............whatever, in percentile of GDP,Gross Domestic Product.Japan has the largest at 225% of GDP, at 137(there are 152 total nations in the world, but we'll leave most else unnamed and unshammed), in the list,we have lowly Libya at only, 3.3% of GDP,there are others lower, but most everybody,ALL the large nations, are in between Libya and Japan, USA at 58.90, Canada at 34.00,Australia at 22.40, UK at 76.50%.Hmmmmmmmm what's to be done.Everybody is in debt to everybody else, somewhere's else.Now what can we do?Gather in all the I.O.U's? Well we could, in terms of debt to each other,nations to nations, between nations,IF the national debt reflected just that.We could call in all the I.O.U.'s compare, and pay everybody off with everybody' else's debt, and that would clear some nation's debt in their entirety and still leave
others in debt though, and some still enormously so. It would all be so very complex, and seemingly inflexible, unworkable,the bookkeeping an utter and complete nightmare.But,remember, the national debts ALSO include internal debts, debts of the nation itself,internally, a nation overspending internally, paying itself off internally,and that figures in and throws everything off.So sadly, that becomes confusingly unfathomable,incalculable,unworkable.....impossible?It hasn't been attempted.

But wait, there is an easier way to clear most everybody's debt,a way that would please EVERYBODY, except,in my calculations, for nine nations (9,count'em)who will just have to take their mulligan.So let us proceed with the solution.Firstly let's look at the horrible nine (9) who are going to be left, let's look at their debt figures

Japan 225.80%
Saint Kitts and Nevis 185.00
Lebanon 150.70
Zimbabwe 149.00
Greece 144.00
Iceland 123.80
Jamaica 123.20
Italy 118.10
Singapore 102.40

Now we use Belgium as a base,who happen to be the tenth worse in terms of GDP national debt,at 98.60% of gdp debt......so less draw the line at Belgium, at a healthy 98.6,works for body temperature, it's the cure for debt, in short we deduct 98.6 from everybody at 100% above GDP for debt and the new adjusted in debt nations are.......ONLY....9 in number....everybody else is at zero GDP national debt............of course some nations,as a matter of fact most all nations,got a really good deal, but Belgium got a really good deal being let off at 98.6% of GDP debt, and the smaller debt nations don't get quite such a good deal,but so it goes.Now isn't it a much better world all round and about with only 9 nations in debt,really now? Isn't it eh?

And is it fair? well, there are 9 left and only 9 ,a really small minority compared with the rest isn't....9,just 9.Can they complain? Yes, will anybody else?No.........so by Squirrel vote, and majority rule.......problems solved, for most all,except for the nine.Now since everybody is in debt to everybody else, we give most a break, say take the highest below 100,Belgium, and subtract that from everybody over 100% of GDP,and we're left with..............

Japan 127.2%
Saint Kitts & Nevis 86.4
Lebanon 51.4
Zimbabwe 50.4
Greece 45.4
Iceland 25.2
Jamaica 24.6
Italy 19.5
Singapore 3.8


Those remain in debt, at the level above, they, The Goat Nations,they The Nine Goat Nations....everybody else, has now ZERO debt.Problem solved, except for the nine who would remain,tough love,tough luck.But from approximately 195 countries in the world, give or take one or two or so.......The Nine,The Goats,would remain in debt, but the question is................ to whom?


Secret Squirrel,
M.R.L.,(MP,Dunny On The Wold),
Minister For Re-Deranged Re-Engineering.