Secret Squirrel, on looking at the ever dwindling problems of gasoline supply, acquiring same in foreign lands,and the increasing costs,necessitating wars to procure the same, for whatever little time there is left of said finite supply,has looked towards cars (automobiles,vehicles),improving them and entirely eliminating gasoline as a source of fuel in the world. Indeed Squirrel HAS discovered a solution to vastly reduce the need and necessity of gasoline,and fuels generally, through the simple application of mechanical energies. Yes, simple mechanics can solve the problems.You see nobody but Squirrel has considered ,nor can consider, and conceive of a solution to the problem of major proportions, where most gasoline is consumed and used, that of the field of transportation, transportation in the field of capital, as in commercial and free industry and enterprise, and that of
the personal as well.Transportation, in short vehicular transport,is required.How will we proceed with personal vehicles, in say, a world of sharply reduced availabilities of gasoline?Now what offers the solution?What solution did Secret Squirrel suddenly see and realize,a solution so simple and easy a child could have come up with it,but politicians of the day,obviously did not?
Well,Secret Squirrel, The Great Engineer, as I refer to myself as being,not that anybody else in particular happens to, such is the problem with being intellectually above everyone else, jealousies set in, and ignorance,has seen, in hindsight,that we have THE CLASSIC PEDAL CARS from a bygone era. It didn’t take long after the rise of the automobile for children to take to the pavements in cars of their own. In 1886 the first car appeared,a Benz,(later Emil Jelinek merged his company with that of Benz, and it was designer Jelinek who named the car resultant after his daughter,Mercedes,because he found out anybody could ride Mercedes),and THEN quickly in the 1890s the first pedal cars were scratch-built from parts found lying around.These were intended to compete with the gasoline vehicles,but, of course, laziness won out, won out because they had not realized that existing social functions were in place to have somebody else pedal power the car for them.It was,quite simply a lack of ability to see what was before them, the very system which drove the empire,could not be used due to the problems that developed in America which brought about the end of the driving force behind things, which, I believe, was called the civil war, a war which brought about the social change of the removal of a cheap labour force.
And so the car became a plaything of the rich by the turn of the century,but then so too did the pedal car a plaything of children,and also became exquisite in design,progressing,mimicking and mirroring the vehicles of the day.And so the pedal car languished, never fully realized for what it was.Then came Hollywood, and pedal cars needed to be bigger in sizes,to accommodate the much larger adult actors.So, came also sportier one and two passenger models to fit the LARGER actors,such as the ones developed for the film, Willy Wonka and The Chocolate Factory, and also then what with Bugsy Malone the was yet further enlargement,and improvements.Development continued,and they became larger still ye then, to the size of the 20'3 and 30's flivers that went before,as seen in the film,Bugsy Malone,and nice to see and are they too, in similar style and fashions as
well, accommodating as many passengers, and luggage,as those did,as the gasoline powered vehicles did, and they were.............PEDAL POWERED.
Now what could possibly be greener,and require absolutely NO gasoline? Yes, in the world of today, what with rising energy costs, and the scream for green technology, why it is here,the solution to the gas crisis, here is a solution for the transportation industry,in general,totally, both the commerce, and commercial transportation, and the personal and private.Why even yet lorry(that's truck to you Americans), and Omnibus (that's bus to you Americans), designs could be usefully had! Imagine the natty English gent(or the typical Sarah Palinized American Joe Plumber type) commuting to work merrily in his own pedal car!All manners and varieties of designs could be had,not forgetting open top (convertibles to you Americans). No problems starting in the mornings, no problems with respect to the ever rising cost of gasolines,fuels, oils,hydraulic fluids necessary for a cars
operation.No indeed.No shame there. Not happy with your classic car design, such as a cord for example, or yet a classic fliver?
Well why not further upgrade the chassis from the Bugsy Malone style of 30's fliver, to the more nattier vehicles of the day?Imagine owning a nice replica Cord automobile, but in place of the engine, being able to use that area also as an additional boot(trunk for you Americans)! Why style and comfort would be first class, the rage of the day. No more of these idiot Swedish design influence cars
that look for all the world like eggs on wheels of similar sorts(Swede Berries the lay people call'em,and so fed up with the egg designs are the people that it's tough for a Swede to get layed)! Nay we could go back to actual esthetic and beautiful car designs........a Classic Rolls Royce,for example, for those of means, for those of the peerage and others of financial ways and means, and other magnificent cars designs.Mind you for the really lazy, we could go in for electric hybrid designs,should they want to go easy on their driver,and we'd still be in the green category,no green would turn red there at the sight of one. Improved pedal gearing could easily be introduced to make things easier for modern man. And also yet, what with the introduction of proper pedal driven multiple gearing, we could even yet keep our great past time..............racing cars!I realize the temptation, I have seen it,especially as it is developing in America.
Recall, the development of America,and within America,as it was developed by the British owner of America,in colonial times,when it was realized that America needed people to work, so a certain class was imported for the same reasons,basically it was a take off on ancient times,a sort of return to ancient times, a looking back on such that things could move things forwards to the future,and such times were referred to by terms such as serfdom, servitude, thralldom, vassalage,whilst in Britain ,Britain remaining yet more subjective in whom was such employed,and in keeping with terms of nobs and nobility, used the terms,rightly and properly,that of butlers and maids, etc. to describe those who toiled in much more flowery and politically correct terms,but terms of the same ends and means as was prevalent in America,terms as referring to those working in service.Working in the service of whom?Why the master, of course,all things being right and proper and properly British, continuing yet even in to our modern times, and such employment shows no signs of abating yet either.Why just look at Her Majesty and all the butlers,maids and footmen She employs. Britain's and the common Briton's future in The Service is assured.We, won't mention those here in British Secret Service, that being referred to those employed in the bedroom.
Now to employ a certain social category of persons, as drivers, nowadays,those who would be required to pedal our vehicles,vehicles of commerce,trade, and those in the private personal sector as well,what would be necessary?What with
modernized trains of thought,it would, perhaps, be frowned on in certain circles,in the employment of certain and particular person of certain varieties,perhaps regarded as being off color,or of color,or colorful, but certainly those who have become now used to not doing that particular line of work,driving the economy forwards, driving the land forwards,working for the land, and the stewards(masters), of the lands.But there are perhaps the same variety generally as they were in those days, when it was acceptable. Realizing there are different areas and plateaus of social development, and acknowledging that that a certain
grouping has advanced beyond that stage.most noticeable it has been historically noted that their protestations of certain things has developed towards not only public mass group demonstrations, but also yet to events know in America as having a riotous time, riots as it were.However I am sure there could be little or no protestation as it were if we were to take them out of the drivers seat as it were, and have them too carried along by the events of the day,right along with us in proper politically correct fashion,and let them also enjoy the fruits of others labours,in all fairness and equality and equity to them,and we could all have a leisurely and jolly good time!Well then, we must then look elsewhere,for those to be employed in the line of work of driver etc,drivers of the modern economy, and economically so as well.
Nowadays we must look at Mexico for example,and Mexicans,as there are lots of them, which appears to have finally reached the levels of the development of Africa in THOSE days,when it was the Africans were heavily employed in The Service,in America. We find that many Mexicans have now migrated to America in search of something to do, in search of work, in search of employment,in short, they wish to enter The Service, of Americans and yet others as well.Now what with so many Mexicans lying about in America, and not doing very much, and illegally having imported themselves in to America and other lands, and so having supplied themselves willing, it cannot be claimed by any self-righteous group that they were press ganged, or enslaved as it were to work in The Service.Most rightly not.Perhaps these excess do nothing Mexicans could be employed in the field of driving the economy, driving the cars, powering the economy, powering the cars.The added incentive could be that of offering right and proper citizenship at the end of their in The Service time, joining as it were,then,the land and people,Bachanal Time as it were where they could then enjoy the fruits of their labor in Bachanalian reveles as best they could find. Interesting idea,you must admit,interesting reapplication of a sound working concept from ancient times, brought back to the future. Yes, in looking back to the past we can solve our problems of the day, of the future, and so, once again Squirrel turns and looks back as we all do, to solve our problems of the day, and so proceed happily,merrily, with our backsides to the future.And so,too, a good time can be
had by all.
Secret Squirrel,
M.R.L.,(MP,Dunny On The Wold),
Minister For Re-Deranged Re-Engineering.
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