Secret Squirrel has come to view global warming to be a tremendous positive effect actually required for the betterment of earth, of humanity, and suggests we actively encourage it, condone it, bring it about,cause it to happen, cause it to go to completion.Having carefully researched and pondered Global Warming, Secret Squirrel has come to these positive conclusions.Global warming?It's not bad, why just look at this comment by David Avery....
"Two thousand years of published human histories say that warm periods were good for people. It was the harsh, unstable Dark Ages and....[the Global Cooling].. Little Ice Age that brought bigger storms, untimely frost, widespread famine and plagues of disease."
So,is global warming all that bad?Not really,not yet at all.Why just look at climate change,a change resulting in a change in climate to a climate such as Australia, Hawaii...the South Sea Islands,Madagascar.All presently enjoy and thrive
in,virtual,real,existing,paradises.Imagine, vast areas of frozen tundra, useless frozen wasteland.......converted,to tropical forests.Tropical forests.Imagine, they're complaining that tropical rainforests are being cut down,reducing the world's oxygen supply.According to climatologists, the villain causing a warmer world is the unprecedented amount of carbon dioxide (CO2) we humans keep pumping into the atmosphere. But as high school biology students nationwide know, plants absorb carbon dioxide and emit oxygen. Researchers have shown that virtually all plants will do better in a CO2-rich environment than in the current atmosphere, which contains only trace amounts of their basic food.Plants also prefer warmer winters and nights, and a warmer world would mean longer growing seasons. Combined with higher levels of CO2, plant life would become more vigorous, thus providing more food for animals and humans. Given a rising world population, longer growing seasons, greater rainfall(brought about by increased evaporation off the seas due to increased levels of temperature in the atmos), and an enriched atmosphere could
be just the ticket to stave off famine and want.So,indeed yes, vastly increased lands will become available for the production of food,veggies et all, and as you know, green veggies do the same as trees for their time(absorb CO2,produce oxygen) before we harvest and eat them!As the ice retreats to the poles,yet much more arable land will become available for both residential and agricultural purposes. Large land-masses in the northern hemisphere, just south of the Canadian/U.S. border, have some very extreme climates that can be quite inhospitable for human habitation. Most Canadians live in a belt running along its southern border with the United States. But once global warming is factored in, vast northern regions will become arable and comfortably habitable. All of Canada will welcome an agricultural boon field with long growing seasons.Greenland would truly become a
Greenland, a land of totally arable,fertile, food and agriculture productive and supportive land, as would also the Antarctic land mass.Argentina and Chile could easily massively triple their agriculturally available and useable land due to the climate change alone! The deserts of China received rains and were fertile 8,000 years ago, ,during earth's warm period,and this would be good news for China, since they need all the fertile land they can get, with their huge population. The arable land was also hundreds of miles further north into China than it is now. As well, those areas of India which are now deserts, were also rained on and fertile in those days, and that’s also good news, given how desperate hard up India is, being so poor and having such a huge population.Heretofore uninhabitable land will not only become inhabitable, but even temperate.Siberia, for example – will become productive due to global warming.Yes! Send him to Siberia!Send him to Paradise! Aha! All round a joy good show!Aren't you all for the good time,lads!!! There's yet even more in the Global Warming plus column than just that! Why just look at the
positive effects..........
Booming businesses....in the Arctic The world economy needs a shot in the arm. I know the feds just cut interest rates by .75, but that’s nothing compared to what a melted Arctic circle could do. Without all that pesky ice in the way, the Arctic ocean would be completely open, creating a brand new trade route from the Atlantic to Asia. It’s only traversible in the summer now, but global warming could open it year round, saving money for everyone. It might kill the polar bears, but business would boom in the north, which it sorely needs. Plus you’d save fuel on shipping, so if you think about it a melted Arctic circle is almost “green”.The full arctic would no longer be frigid.Minerals and resources easy to get to.Towns would spring up,economic activity would thrive there in the nice warm and cozy temperatures!A fabled sea route above North America linking the Pacific and Atlantic Oceans has become a reality thanks to global warming. Scientists have confirmed that in August, Arctic sea ice shrank to its lowest levels since satellite measurements began monitoring the region nearly 30 years ago. One consequence of this is that the Northwest Passage has opened up much earlier than expected.Oceans will suffer from reduced acidification, a process which has started, and is having an adverse effect on sea life, indeed the effects of any additional waters added to the oceans, will help dissipate and dilute this, going more towards the neutral ph levels once more.Fully navigable, the Northwest Passage will make the trip 4,000 miles shorter for ships traveling between Europe and Asia, allowing them to avoid the Panama Canal,making trips between,connecting to, the upper parts of the Asian,North American sphere very much shorter by sea routes,decreasing the consumption of fuels by ships making the journey.Transportation generally would benefit from a warmer climate, since road travelers would suffer less from slippery or impassable highways. Airline passengers, who often endure weather-related socked in snow and ice storm delays in the winter, would gain from more reliable and on-time service.Things would be very much less expensive for cities budgets not requiring further any snow removal, or road salting,gritting, sanding etc so very necessary what with winter conditions.Those winter conditions would no longer exist.Global warming will have no real effect, positive or negative, on economic activities such as manufacturing, retailing, wholesaleing, banking, education and the majority of other businesses that are unrelated to cold weather. Of course cold weather activities, such as snow-sports, would be negatively affected,as we have abilities to generate artificial and fake snow nowadays, and indoor ice arena activities would take place that of those outdoors which winter provided.
Department of Energy studies have shown that a warmer climate would reduce heating bills more than it would boost outlays on air conditioning. Now it has also been found that those who work in warmer climes make less than those who work in colder climes, in terms of wages offered, you see, the colder climate worker must be given a work incentive, that is not necessary when said worker is warmer,happier, much more contented.
From a purely evolutionary point of view, warm periods have always benefited plants and animals.Researchers have shown, moreover, that virtually all plants will do better in an environment enriched with carbon dioxide than in the current atmosphere, which contains only trace amounts of their basic food. In addition, warmer winters and nights would mean longer growing seasons. Combined with higher levels of CO2, plant life would become more vigorous, thus providing more food for animals and humans. Given a rising world population, longer growing seasons, greater rainfall, and an enriched atmosphere could be just the ticket to stave off famine and want.Fisheries experts credit global warming for unexpected salmon numbers. Baseball season could be expanded to included another half dozen games with an earlier spring although this could result in losing a football game so that would be a draw.
Florida trailer parks will finally be safe.A brand new study in the journal Geophysical Research Letters suggests that The researchers suggests that warmer temperatures will actually decrease the amount of hurricanes that hit the US each year.A very great plus this is for the people of New Orleans!Global warming could increase a climate phenomenon known as wind shear that inhibits Atlantic hurricanes, a potentially positive result of climate change,Wind shear, a difference in wind speed or direction at different altitudes, tends to tear apart tropical cyclones, preventing nascent ones from growing and already-formed hurricanes from becoming the monster storms that cause the most damage.
More summer fun! WOOOOOOOOO!WOOOOOOOOO!WOOOOOOO! Summer itself won’t technically last longer,it just really won't leave.Does it ever leave in Australia?No! Not really, just gets a touch cooler,from hotter,not freezing, not even cold, just cooler from hot, as the dates are based on sunlight instead of temperature. But if you define summer by warm temperatures, you’re in luck. It’ll stay hot for much longer, so stock up on bathing suits now,you'll even be able to warmly swim in WINTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
More food! This one’s related a bit to the longer summers,and virtually constant summer, as it is in Australia, a year round growing season as it were and is there. Those hotter temperatures would also translate into a longer growing seasons. Plus,
plants love CO2! It’s like food for them. All that global warming causing CO2 would act like a fertilizer. With free airborne plant fertilizer and longer growing seasons, food production will skyrocket.
No need for snow shoveling, reducing medical expenses of government and people due to vastly reduced heart attacks, sprains and broken bones generated by snow conditions.Warmer winters would mean fewer deaths,less dead people, particularly among vulnerable groups like the aged. However, the same groups are also vulnerable to additional heat, and deaths attributable to heatwaves are expected to be approximately five times as great as winter deaths prevented.Less deaths from pneumonia,vastly reduced.Hence vastly reduced health care costs to governments and to individual people(this'd be Americans whose health care is left to their
own devices,where the rich and middle classes don't want medicare for the poor and not so well off people). The world has thrived during the warming periods between the ice ages. Cold periods have always caused serious survival problems for all organisms including mankind. Scientific studies show that there will be 40,000 fewer deaths each year in the U.S. In Britain alone, scientists estimate that about 30,000 deaths a year are related to cold winter weather. Warmer temperatures in the U.S. will reduce medical costs by about $20 billion every year.
Melting ice caps causing massive flooding..........well not really, you see the vastest majority of the ice, is actually on or over water as it were, so it has already displaced itself in the ocean,as in it has in effect, solidly melted so would contribute not a jot to any rise in sea levels. All that would affect the sea,is any runoff making the sea. Now as for the rest, melting is a slow process, not an overnight thing, so evaporation sets in, again reducing the effects of runoff. Also the vast majority of lands covered by ice and snow, is just that, land, so that greatest majority will simply dissolve in to the land itself, not
reaching the sea. The sea will achieve a minimal rise, therefor in sea level, entailing, say a few inches, or at the most, a foot. Hardly a thing to worry about then is there!!!!!!!And should there be some increased sea levels due to global warming melting of the ice caps,it will create new estuaries, which are extremely productive ecosystems,ad in terms of improved electrical energy generation,a clean, versus dirty,dangerous,radioactive nuclear,increased sea levels will increase the energy of ocean's tides; excessive tidal energy may become a popular form of renewable energy.
Shorter and more mild winters will mean less time spent indoors with the heater on getting cold, not exercising and feeling depressed. There will be a reduction in warm weather clothing and goods but women wearing less clothing and suffering from cabin fever.Imagine,women happily running about in bikinis almost all of the time, just as they go in the tropics!!Who's complaining!!
A huge and entertaining plus!
So there you go. Assuming that global temperatures continue to rise, we’ve got something to look forward to. I don’t know about you, but I’m going to try and risk it.I subscribe to the idea of “Hope for the best, plan for the worst.”Hey it's win,win win!!I'm running outside to fire up my bar be every day I can! I fully intend to contribute to, as much as I can, to bring about Global Warming,and all the benefits it entails,and I'll thoroughly enjoy myself doing it as well!
Who's to complain? One land?One nation? One people?Holland?The Netherlands?Why they complain they'll be flooded out! A small sacrifice it is for the general good and betterment of the entire human race! Let them pack up and move now, and for those who do not, well, they all wear wooden shoes, they'll just float merrily upside down until rescued,moved to higher ground, and given their regulation US army water bottle, and they'll just have to like it all just as the rest of us do.Global Warming! Full steam ahead!!
Secret Squirrel,
M.R.L.,(MP,Dunny On The Wold),
Minister For Re-Deranged Re-Engineering.
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