Secret Squirrel’s attention has been peaked by seeing that Iran has a
salt water lake which is in the process, of what is called, dying, a
specificly a varient of dying, drying up,evaporating, disappearing
actually. It’s Iran’s biggest crisis, its shrinking lake,Lake
Oroumieh,the country’s largest body of water which has shrunk by 80% to
only 400 square miles in the last ten years.Face it the shrinking
contiues, it isn’t getting any better.Experts fear the lake – famous as a
tourist spot and a stopping point for migrating flamingos, pelicans and
gulls – could disappear within two years.
Climate change, nearby farms using it for irrigation and the damming
of rivers is being blamed for the shrinking,but they,and the rest of the
world, don’t know what to do about it, to halt, or to improve it, but
you know Squirrel has a idea here.I am surrounded by political and
scientific
idiots….indeed, yes,idiots who have not an idea what so
ever to do. BUT Squirrel does, yes indeed, Squirrel can,could and will
save the lake, and it will grow,it will wax fatter that a U.S. governor,
and Squirrel will turn a hefty profit doing it as well. Squirrel
proposes to build a pipeline from a
selected seaport to the lake
,yes, then British tankers, sadly idle for some reason in the midst of
the oil crisis, COULD be used to haul seawater to Iran, there at the
port offload in to the pipeline, and so save the lake, and makes loads
and loads of profitable useful currency(meaning of course we won’t be
accepting Iranian currency, we shall demand, either U.S. dollars, or the
useful Chinese Yuan currency,no bitbucks,Canadian dollars, nor Euros,
just those, U.S. dollars and/or Chinese Yuans). We could even yet work a
negotiated deal, and trade the seawater to Iran for oil.Yes,seawater
for
oil.
Recall the US food for oil exchange well, we could do a seawater for
oil exchange…………but our politicians are sadly mentally lacking in the
area
of brilliant ideas.Yes they’re all laggards, lackeys of the American
oil companies, yes, we have to import US oil,at US prices…………..all
that
could change.We could now have our own supply of oil, guarenteed oil,
traded for seawater. Indeed we have Iran over the barrel, over the
seawater barrel, we could trade say, 1 barrel of seawater,for 10 barrels
of oil.
But wait, ever The Great Engineer, Squirrel has yet another
proposal.You see here we were contemplating selling the Iranians
saltwater to solve the problem.However, we could also supply something
much better,fresh water.Yes! fresh water, so very much better than salt
water you know. Now wherever would we get the required fresh water.Well,
Squirrel has the answer here, which again has not occured to our
politicans incumbent. You see, every year, Britain floods very,very
horribly. Well now, in the very center of the flood stricken areas, we
create a drain, this drain will connect to
pipelines,pipelines which will be directed to seaports.There, at the
seaports, again, we use idle British oil tankers, and then fill the
tankers with the flood fresh water, and sell this to the Iranian, using
the same method to fill their lake with fresh water, and fill our
coffers with useful currencies, and also guarentee a magnificent private
oil supply!!Huzzah for Squirrel!Huzzah for Squirrel!Huzzah for
Squirrel!
In the meantime we could also create salt mines there and mine the
salt and sell it to the Americans who have yearly shortages you know,
due to their immense snow storms,ever running totally short of salt,and
thus driving up the prices of salt as well. In the regular time we
could also drive up the prices of supply as well..what the heck!!Do
British politicians see this brilliant opportunity? No!…….laggards and
lackeys all.Only Squirrel is capable reversing the trend and saving Iran
from a major environmental and economic disaster,and, at the very self
same time, turning in a grand and hefty profit off of his enterprising
solution.
Secret Squirrel,
MRL,MP(Dunny On The Wold),
Minister For Re-Deranged Re-Engineering.
Showing posts with label floods. Show all posts
Showing posts with label floods. Show all posts
Wednesday, February 19, 2014
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
MRL Adaptability,Versatility, For The Military and Flooding
keywords:
mrl, floods, flooding, military, vehicles, cars, helicopters,amphibious,tanks, equipment,secret squirrel
Roadable Aircraft - Aerocar Aerocar
Enlarge image (will open in a new window)Moulton B. Taylor dreamed of producing a roadable aircraft, which could be used as a family car and, as the need or inclination arose, have wings, tail and propellor quickly attached. After World War 2, Taylor set to work to produce such a vehicle, and by late 1949 a prototype Aerocar had flown.
On 13th December, 1956, the improved production Aerocar 1 received FAA certification. Four further Model 1s were built, for demonstration and sale. The six Aerocars so far built accumulated over 200,000 road miles and 5,000 flight hours. The final version was a much improved Aerocar III, converted from a model 1.
The car itself was a fairly conventional front-wheel-drive automobile. The power plant was an Avco Lycoming O-320 aircraft engine in the rear of the vehicle. This drove either the road wheels or, via an extended drive shaft in the detachable tail boom, a propellor to the rear of the Y-form tail structure. Braced monoplane wings were fitted in high configuration to the rear of the car. Unless the wings and tail boom were all correctly engaged, it was not possible to start the engine for flight.
Conversion from air to road could be achieved by one person in five minutes. The detached aircraft components could be towed behind the car in folding wheels fitted to the wing roots.
The Aerocar project ended with the passing of new legislation relating to automobiles in the United States. To meet 1970s requirements, the Aerocar would have to become too heavy and expensive to be practical.
Roadable Aircraft - Hafner Rotabuggy Flying Jeep
Enlarge image (will open in a new window)The work of the Airborne Forces Experimental Establishment at Ringway, Manchester, on the Rotachute from 1940 onwards led to the suggestion that the free-wheeling autogyro principles employed could also be applied to larger loads. The designer, Raoul Hafner, suggested the Rotabuggy, a Jeep (or "Blitz Buggy") with rotors, and the Rotatank, a similarly modified Valentine tank. A development contract was placed with the M.L. Aviation Company at White Waltham in 1942, covered by specification 10/42.
Preliminary tests involved loading a Jeep with concrete and dropping it from heights of up to 7 ft. 8 in. (2.35 m.), demonstrating that the standard vehicle could survive undamaged from impacts of up to 11g. A 46 ft. 8 in. (12.4 m.) dia. two-blade rotor was then fitted, as well as a streamlined tail fairing with twin rudderless fins. Other additions were perspex door panels, a 'hanging' rotor control next to the steering wheel and a rotor tachometer and glider navigational instruments.
The Rotabuggy, camouflaged, carrying RAF roundels and a prototype "P", was tow tested behind a 4½ litre supercharged Bentley, and achieved gliding speeds of up to 65 mph (105 km/h) IAS.
The first flight was made on November 16, 1943. Later, some flights were made behind a Whitley bomber from Sherbourne-in-Elmet.
One witness described how she watched a Whitley take off with a Jeep in tow, circle and land. The Jeep, still in tow, did not touch down at the same time, and the witness realised that its occupants "were unhappy". With the pilot holding the hanging control column and the driver clutching the steering wheel, the Jeep made a series of up and down movements, whilst the audience hoped it would stall on a 'down' rather than an 'up'.
This it fortunately did, the driver taking over and driving flat-out after the Whitley, to which it remained attached. When it stopped, nobody got out for a while; the pilot was then assisted out and lay down beside the runway to recover. Apparently he was exhausted from trying to control the joystick, which had whipped in circles for the whole flight.
Apparently this flight was one of the worst, and the handling and flying qualities of the Rotabuggy were officially recorded as "highly satisfactory", especially when large tail fins had been fitted and greater rotor blade articulation provided. However, development of Horsa II and Hamilcar vehicle carrying gliders made further development of the idea unnecessary.
Now the existing technology could be applied and upgraded..................the time is now...............by reviving sutch a concept we could vastly reduce road traffic congestion, and just imagine, not being on a ROAD, the Labor government could not use and apply a road tax, nor could any other existing government of England. And now after having gotten this far in my proposal, you realize that it's certainly not a taxing engineering idea.
Secret Squirrel,
MRL,
Minister for Re-Deranged Re-Engineering.
*****************************************************************
A Sound Project, Re-Discovered, Re-Engineered.
Hafner Rotabuggy Flying Jeep
The work of the Airborne Forces Experimental Establishment at Ringway, Manchester, on the Rotachute from 1940 onwards led to the suggestion that the free-wheeling autogyro principles employed could also be applied to larger loads. The designer, Raoul Hafner, suggested the Rotabuggy, a Jeep (or "Blitz Buggy") with rotors, and the Rotatank, a similarly modified Valentine tank. A development contract was placed with the M.L. Aviation Company at White Waltham in 1942, covered by specification 10/42.
Preliminary tests involved loading a Jeep with concrete and dropping it from heights of up to 7 ft. 8 in. (2.35 m.), demonstrating that the standard vehicle could survive undamaged from impacts of up to 11g. A 46 ft. 8 in. (12.4 m.) dia. two-blade rotor was then fitted, as well as a streamlined tail fairing with twin rudderless fins. Other additions were perspex door panels, a 'hanging' rotor control next to the steering wheel and a rotor tachometer and glider navigational instruments.
The Rotabuggy, camouflaged, carrying RAF roundels and a prototype "P", was tow tested behind a 4½ litre supercharged Bentley, and achieved gliding speeds of up to 65 mph (105 km/h) IAS.
The first flight was made on November 16, 1943. Later, some flights were made behind a Whitley bomber from Sherbourne-in-Elmet.
Of course, this sound project must be reinstated. It combines the easily manufactured mass produced and versatile jeep, and helicopter, in short saving money in and personel in assembly and manufacture lines. Jeeps can carry all sorts of light guns and where with all, that helicopters at present carry, but yet won't require complex and diversified assembly and manufacture, in short a Swiss Army Knife of Helicopter Jeeps can be created much more easily in modern times! Indeed in this age of austerity, Britain will be easily able to afford helicopters, all types of helicopters, based on a simple jeep helicopter base platform, just as on finds at a vehicular dealership, here's your car, add the options, here's your helijeep, add the weapon systems!For yet greater versatility, this revived project will be morphed into using an existing amphibious jeep chassis-the ultimate in versatility!!
Now as a further extension of the project, regard this Soviet engineering attempt.
The Antonov KT (Kr'lya Tanka) - also referred to as the A-40 or A-T - was developed in 1940 by the skilled designer of weight-carrying gliders, Oleg Konstantinovich Antonov. The aim was to test the viability of the idea of supplying partisan forces with light tanks to harrass the enemy's lines of communication.
A T-60 light tank provided the 'fuselage' of the unit, the unlocked tracks being the 'landing gear'. An unstaggered biplane wing of plywood and fabric was attached, together with a pair of tail booms with twin vertical surfaces and a high-mounted single horizontal surface. The aerodynamic controls comprised a single lever operating all flying surfaces from the driver's position. The flying surfaces were to be jettisoned directly on landing.
The unit was towed by a heavy bomber such as the Petlyakov Pe-8 or Tupolev TB-3. Whilst Western sources say the KT never left the ground, Soviet sources say a single successful flight was made in 1941 or 1942. With only limited official support, the programme was cancelled shortly after that time. England, not to be outdone, had a autogyro project in the works, involving the use of a Valentine tank. Sadly, this idea was not proceeded with, no doubt the effects of those tampering with proper engineers,those whose jealousy of sound engineering ideas resulted in the suppression of the engineers and their ideas.
However, we know better nowadays, at least we in the MRL do, and so we can combine this idea with that of our flying amphibious jeep. In short, to the flying jeep add a recoilless rifle.I should add that this idea worked well and was in actual fact used, a recoilless rifle integrated in the chassis of a motor scooter,truly inovative at the time, and an engineering project that worked in theory and in practice as well.
This turns our utility vehicle, suitable for carrying troops,equipment etc in to a combat zone, flying,swimming or driving, into a flying,swimming or driving light tank as well...........the penultimate in engineering versatility.
Sutch is the way, England must proceed with our backsides to the future................ever forwards by going backwards!!!
Realizing that funding may not be at hand, I propose we do what America did, by not really declaring war on Iraq,and thence invading it in it's version of a benevolent war of liberation. Here we note that America found over a hundred billion dollars it needed but didn't have.I propose instead to do the same,somewhat, and fund the projects by declaring war on France.I'm willing to negotiate, I'm flexible, perhaps a war against Holland, or perhaps Denmark would be easier. If not, we'll have to invade Jersey,just queitly, not tell them, merely go as disguised tourists,not damage anything or anyone, merely toruisting about, spending thither and yon, and then returning. Once home we can declare it a successful invading war of liberation and have billions availabble to spend as we will. Of course, this being the way of the world, then let's invade France,Denmark,Holland, and Jeresy as well, and we'll have millions of billions available for project fundings!!!!
Secret Squirrel,
M.R.L.
Minister For Re-Deranged Re-Engineering.
****************************************************************
Floods
M.R.L. Flooding Solution
The government is in crisis, England is in crisis, England is flooding, and the government is England's crisis. Recent vents of flooding in Britain have touched me deeply, saddened me, disheartened me, having seen the vicious flooding in America's formerly Great City of New Orleans, and pondered the effects on the people of Britain. Indeed utter destruction was wrought in New Orleans, and was wrought in England as well.............no assistance was rendered, the people left to fend for themselves.
New Orleans was entirely the fault of a laggard American government, ignoring the pleas of the Mayor
and Citizenry alike, to expand,improve,shore up,renew and/or build new and more solid levees,quite simply, dyke structures. Britain's flooding is also the fault of a government laggard in it's behavour, doing nothing to remedy the situation,the problems have continued to flood through governments past and present, as water through an American dyke. However there is engineering genius to be considered,British ingenuity, the adaptability of the British people in the face of adversity, all in the face of laggardly,inept, and ignorant governments which have allowed the problem to exist.
However, the problem can be solved quite easily with proper application of modern engineering techniques already existent.Indeed, I have THE solution.
It struck me quite plainly as I gazed on an amazing waterway,canal system, in Germany. I suddenly realized that one waterway crossed over the other, as a flyover, an overpass, one canal crossing above the other...............a canalway, in the sky, and in the ground. Well,here in Britain the idea will fly but the M.R.L. is more down to earth as are the engineering projects I endeavour to present. You see what needs be done is to live with both flood and non flood conditions. How? Well the German canal system is illustrative of this, it works, it's hardly leaking and collapsing as so many American unnecessary water canal projects do.Ours,however,is necessary. What we have to do, in each village and town, and interconnecting roadway, and within the towns, is to construct the roads themselves within walled dykes(I won't call the levees calling to mind the American travesty's of failed concrete walls). Now when it floods the water is contained within these canal roadways and channeled away when it's done, and back to dry road uses when it's gone. But how to live with this,how to maintain a dignified lifestyle? Well, quite simply it requires and adaptive change of lifestyle. All can be accommodated within any and all existent conditions, flood or no flood. Cars,vehicles, lorries, must now be of the amphibious type.
Recall the early amphicar,we all saw Branson's mucking about in one(no doubt a failed attempt to walk on water, the amphicar was as close as he could come).There are many varieties of such vehicies available. Look at the ingenious lorries the Cubans adapted to cross the sea to get to America. There are even yet amphi Recreational vehicles, allowing for caravan trips whilst in or out of flood conditions, indeed these can even be built as buses, for intercity, and in city transport of the population. Well now, we have accommodated transportation, business lorries, the common man's car, what of housing?
Well there are different approaches to actual housing for some may not prefer the amphi recreational bus vehicle. We can mount existing larger or smaller caravans, on barges(for those inclined to caravaning), and tether them to place,these will then rise and fall with the tide, or remain earthbound in event of non flood conditions,and so can still function as caravans in any and all conditions,allowing a waterworld,waterpark vacation in conditions of wet flood, and regular caravan camping in event of dry! Camp all around I should say! And,do! For those inclined to regular housing we can adapt as the Dutch have, with actual house type house boats, again tethering in place. What of larger edifices, well
the dying industry of cruise ships can be utilized and the ships transported to the flood areas and there they shall sit, or float depending on conditions,acting as buildings,apartments and whatever else form of other building is required.
Ah you say, what of air transit? Well, we do have, you know, existent, amphibious helicopters and yet aircraft of all types so each village can have it's own aerodromewaterport, no problem there at all.
There, we have covered it all, solved it all, and easily with modern existent technology.Indeed the M.R.L. excels and revels in solving the problem which past and present governments have utterly failed at.The M.R.L. solution! Good for you! Good for us!
Secret Squirrel,
M.R.L.
Minister For Re-Deranged Re-Engineering.
--------------------------------------------------------------
MRL on Roadable Aircraft - Aerocar Aerocar
Moulton B. Taylor dreamed of producing a roadable aircraft, which could be used as a family car and, as the need or inclination arose, have wings, tail and propeller quickly attached. After World War 2, Taylor set to work to produce such a vehicle, and by late 1949 a prototype Aerocar had flown.
On 13th December, 1956, the improved production Aerocar 1 received FAA certification. Four further Model 1s were built, for demonstration and sale. The six Aerocars so far built accumulated over 200,000 road miles and 5,000 flight hours. The final version was a much improved Aerocar III, converted from a model 1.
The car itself was a fairly conventional front-wheel-drive automobile. The power plant was an Avco Lycoming O-320 aircraft engine in the rear of the vehicle. This drove either the road wheels or, via an extended drive shaft in the detachable tail boom, a propeller to the rear of the Y-form tail structure. Braced monoplane wings were fitted in high configuration to the rear of the car. Unless the wings and tail boom were all correctly engaged, it was not possible to start the engine for flight.
Conversion from air to road could be achieved by one person in five minutes. The detached aircraft components could be towed behind the car in folding wheels fitted to the wing roots.
The Aerocar project ended with the passing of new legislation relating to automobiles in the United States. To meet 1970s requirements, the Aerocar would have to become too heavy and expensive to be practical.
Roadable Aircraft - Hafner Rotabuggy Flying Jeep
Enlarge image (will open in a new window)The work of the Airborne Forces Experimental Establishment at Ringway, Manchester, on the Rotachute from 1940 onwards led to the suggestion that the free-wheeling autogyro principles employed could also be applied to larger loads. The designer, Raoul Hafner, suggested the Rotabuggy, a Jeep (or "Blitz Buggy") with rotors, and the Rotatank, a similarly modified Valentine tank. A development contract was placed with the M.L. Aviation Company at White Waltham in 1942, covered by specification 10/42.
Preliminary tests involved loading a Jeep with concrete and dropping it from heights of up to 7 ft. 8 in. (2.35 m.), demonstrating that the standard vehicle could survive undamaged from impacts of up to 11g. A 46 ft. 8 in. (12.4 m.) dia. two-blade rotor was then fitted, as well as a streamlined tail fairing with twin rudderless fins. Other additions were perspex door panels, a 'hanging' rotor control next to the steering wheel and a rotor tachometer and glider navigational instruments.
The Rotabuggy, camouflaged, carrying RAF roundels and a prototype "P", was tow tested behind a 4½ litre supercharged Bentley, and achieved gliding speeds of up to 65 mph (105 km/h) IAS.
The first flight was made on November 16, 1943. Later, some flights were made behind a Whitley bomber from Sherbourne-in-Elmet.
One witness described how she watched a Whitley take off with a Jeep in tow, circle and land. The Jeep, still in tow, did not touch down at the same time, and the witness realised that its occupants "were unhappy". With the pilot holding the hanging control column and the driver clutching the steering wheel, the Jeep made a series of up and down movements, whilst the audience hoped it would stall on a 'down' rather than an 'up'.
This it fortunately did, the driver taking over and driving flat-out after the Whitley, to which it remained attached. When it stopped, nobody got out for a while; the pilot was then assisted out and lay down beside the runway to recover. Apparently he was exhausted from trying to control the joystick, which had whipped in circles for the whole flight.
Apparently this flight was one of the worst, and the handling and flying qualities of the Rotabuggy were officially recorded as "highly satisfactory", especially when large tail fins had been fitted and greater rotor blade articulation provided. However, development of Horsa II and Hamilcar vehicle carrying gliders made further development of the idea unnecessary.
Now the existing technology could be applied and upgraded..................the time is now...............by reviving Sutch a concept we could vastly reduce road traffic congestion, and just imagine, not being on a ROAD, the Labor government could not use and apply a road tax, nor could any other existing government of England.Also,consider the versatility,adaptability, of said type of aero-car or similar engineering marvel, why house could be built with elevated platforms to accommodate the car.in suitable times, flooding for example, on hearing of impending floods, the car could be flown to the roof barn shelter,(door in it's roof), and there housed, so when flood conditions are in effect, the aero car could fly one out to safety. Also further increasing adaptability, engineer said aero car such that it is amphibious in abilities, thus being useful as a boat should the flood creep up on one and one has not flown the aero car to roof shelter. And, yet more, yes, it's ability to be used in Venice like city conditions, where cities have been walled in WITH water and adapted since the situations are ridiculously beyond control, such as say, New Orleans, and English midlands town,cities,villages so often hit by flooding that the Labour government keep insisting will not make their usual yearly return or two. And now after having gotten this far in my proposal, you realize that it's certainly not a taxing engineering idea,but a great all sound all-rounder!!
Secret Squirrel,
MRL,
Minister for Re-Deranged Re-Engineering.
*****************************************************************
A Sound Project, Re-Discovered, Re-Engineered.
Hafner Rotabuggy Flying Jeep
The work of the Airborne Forces Experimental Establishment at Ringway, Manchester, on the Rotachute from 1940 onwards led to the suggestion that the free-wheeling autogyro principles employed could also be applied to larger loads. The designer, Raoul Hafner, suggested the Rotabuggy, a Jeep (or "Blitz Buggy") with rotors, and the Rotatank, a similarly modified Valentine tank. A development contract was placed with the M.L. Aviation Company at White Waltham in 1942, covered by specification 10/42.
Preliminary tests involved loading a Jeep with concrete and dropping it from heights of up to 7 ft. 8 in. (2.35 m.), demonstrating that the standard vehicle could survive undamaged from impacts of up to 11g. A 46 ft. 8 in. (12.4 m.) dia. two-blade rotor was then fitted, as well as a streamlined tail fairing with twin rudderless fins. Other additions were perspex door panels, a 'hanging' rotor control next to the steering wheel and a rotor tachometer and glider navigational instruments.
The Rotabuggy, camouflaged, carrying RAF roundels and a prototype "P", was tow tested behind a 4½ litre supercharged Bentley, and achieved gliding speeds of up to 65 mph (105 km/h) IAS.
The first flight was made on November 16, 1943. Later, some flights were made behind a Whitley bomber from Sherbourne-in-Elmet.
Of course, this sound project must be reinstated. It combines the easily manufactured mass produced and versatile jeep, and helicopter, in short saving money in and personnel in assembly and manufacture lines. Jeeps can carry all sorts of light guns and where with all, that helicopters at present carry, but yet won't require complex and diversified assembly and manufacture, in short a Swiss Army Knife of Helicopter Jeeps can be created much more easily in modern times! Indeed in this age of austerity, Britain will be easily able to afford helicopters, all types of helicopters, based on a simple jeep helicopter base platform, just as on finds at a vehicular dealership, here's your car, add the options, here's your helijeep, add the weapon systems!For yet greater versatility, this revived project will be morphed into using an existing amphibious jeep chassis-the ultimate in versatility!!
Now as a further extension of the project, regard this Soviet engineering attempt.
The Antonov KT (Kr'lya Tanka) - also referred to as the A-40 or A-T - was developed in 1940 by the skilled designer of weight-carrying gliders, Oleg Konstantinovich Antonov. The aim was to test the viability of the idea of supplying partisan forces with light tanks to harass the enemy's lines of communication.
A T-60 light tank provided the 'fuselage' of the unit, the unlocked tracks being the 'landing gear'. An unstaggered biplane wing of plywood and fabric was attached, together with a pair of tail booms with twin vertical surfaces and a high-mounted single horizontal surface. The aerodynamic controls comprised a single lever operating all flying surfaces from the driver's position. The flying surfaces were to be jettisoned directly on landing.
The unit was towed by a heavy bomber such as the Petlyakov Pe-8 or Tupolev TB-3. Whilst Western sources say the KT never left the ground, Soviet sources say a single successful flight was made in 1941 or 1942. With only limited official support, the program was canceled shortly after that time. England, not to be outdone, had a autogyro project in the works, involving the use of a Valentine tank. Sadly, this idea was not proceeded with, no doubt the effects of those tampering with proper engineers,those whose jealousy of sound engineering ideas resulted in the suppression of the engineers and their ideas.
However, we know better nowadays, at least we in the MRL do, and so we can combine this idea with that of our flying amphibious jeep. In short, to the flying jeep add a recoilless rifle.I should add that this idea worked well and was in actual fact used, a recoilless rifle integrated in the chassis of a motor scooter,truly innovative at the time, and an engineering project that worked in theory and in practice as well.Further versatility added by making said vehicle,amphibious.Now the English army has a truly useful vehicle, a vehicle replacing many items being all in one as it were, replacing amphibious vehicle,jeep transport,gun equipped helicopter-bomber,tank............does Labour develop such a vehicle............no........nor the Tories either for that matter. Nay, only the MRL has the for sight,the intelligence, to concept such a marvelous vehicle.
This turns our utility vehicle, suitable for carrying troops,equipment etc in to a combat zone, flying,swimming or driving, into a flying,swimming or driving light tank as well...........the penultimate in engineering versatility.
Sutch is the way, England must proceed with our backsides to the future................ever forwards by going backwards!!!
Realizing that funding may not be at hand, I propose we do what America did, by not really declaring war on Iraq,and thence invading it in it's version of a benevolent war of liberation. Here we note that America found over a hundred billion dollars it needed but didn't have.I propose instead to do the same,somewhat, and fund the projects by declaring war on France.I'm willing to negotiate, I'm flexible, perhaps a war against Holland, or perhaps Denmark would be easier. If not, we'll have to invade Jersey,just quietly, not tell them, merely go as disguised tourists,not damage anything or anyone, merely touristing about, spending thither and yon, and then returning. Once home we can declare it a successful invading war of liberation and have billions available to spend as we will. Of course, this being the way of the world, then let's invade France,Denmark,Holland, and Jersey as well, and we'll have millions of billions available for project fundings!!!!
Secret Squirrel,
M.R.L.
Minister For Re-Deranged Re-Engineering.
****************************************************************
Floods
M.R.L. Flooding Solution
The government is in crisis, England is in crisis, England is flooding, and the government is England's crisis. Recent vents of flooding in Britain have touched me deeply, saddened me, disheartened me, having seen the vicious flooding in America's formerly Great City of New Orleans, and pondered the effects on the people of Britain. Indeed utter destruction was wrought in New Orleans, and was wrought in England as well.............no assistance was rendered, the people left to fend for themselves.
New Orleans was entirely the fault of a laggard American government, ignoring the pleas of the Mayor
and Citizenry alike, to expand,improve,shore up,renew and/or build new and more solid levees,quite simply, dyke structures. Britain's flooding is also the fault of a government laggard in it's behaviour, doing nothing to remedy the situation,the problems have continued to flood through governments past and present, as water through an American dyke. However there is engineering genius to be considered,British ingenuity, the adaptability of the British people in the face of adversity, all in the face of laggardly,inept, and ignorant governments which have allowed the problem to exist.
However, the problem can be solved quite easily with proper application of modern engineering techniques already existent.Indeed, I have THE solution.
It struck me quite plainly as I gazed on an amazing waterway,canal system, in Germany. I suddenly realized that one waterway crossed over the other, as a flyover, an overpass, one canal crossing above the other...............a canalway, in the sky, and in the ground. Well,here in Britain the idea will fly but the M.R.L. is more down to earth as are the engineering projects I endeavour to present. You see what needs be done is to live with both flood and non flood conditions. How? Well the German canal system is illustrative of this, it works, it's hardly leaking and collapsing as so many American unnecessary water canal projects do.Ours,however,is necessary. What we have to do, in each village and town, and interconnecting roadway, and within the towns, is to construct the roads themselves within walled dykes(I won't call the levees calling to mind the American travesty's of failed concrete walls). Now when it floods the water is contained within these canal roadways and channeled away when it's done, and back to dry road uses when it's gone. But how to live with this,how to maintain a dignified lifestyle? Well, quite simply it requires and adaptive change of lifestyle. All can be accommodated within any and all existent conditions, flood or no flood. Cars,vehicles, lorries, must now be of the amphibious type.
Recall the early amphicar,we all saw Branson's mucking about in one(no doubt a failed attempt to walk on water, the amphicar was as close as he could come).There are many varieties of such vehicles available. Look at the ingenious lorries the Cubans adapted to cross the sea to get to America. There are even yet amphi Recreational vehicles, allowing for caravan trips whilst in or out of flood conditions, indeed these can even be built as buses, for intercity, and in city transport of the population. Well now, we have accommodated transportation, business lorries, the common man's car, what of housing?
Well there are different approaches to actual housing for some may not prefer the amphi recreational bus vehicle. We can mount existing larger or smaller caravans, on barges(for those inclined to caravaning), and tether them to place,these will then rise and fall with the tide, or remain earthbound in event of non flood conditions,and so can still function as caravans in any and all conditions,allowing a waterworld,waterpark vacation in conditions of wet flood, and regular caravan camping in event of dry! Camp all around I should say! And,do! For those inclined to regular housing we can adapt as the Dutch have, with actual house type house boats, again tethering in place. What of larger edifices, well
the dying industry of cruise ships can be utilized and the ships transported to the flood areas and there they shall sit, or float depending on conditions,acting as buildings,apartments and whatever else form of other building is required.
Ah you say, what of air transit? Well, we do have, you know, existent, amphibious helicopters and yet aircraft of all types so each village can have it's own aerodromewaterport, no problem there at all.
There, we have covered it all, solved it all, and easily with modern existent technology.Indeed the M.R.L. excels and revels in solving the problem which past and present governments have utterly failed at.The M.R.L. solution! Good for you! Good for us!
Secret Squirrel,
M.R.L.
Minister For Re-Deranged Re-Engineering.
mrl, floods, flooding, military, vehicles, cars, helicopters,amphibious,tanks, equipment,secret squirrel
Roadable Aircraft - Aerocar Aerocar
Enlarge image (will open in a new window)Moulton B. Taylor dreamed of producing a roadable aircraft, which could be used as a family car and, as the need or inclination arose, have wings, tail and propellor quickly attached. After World War 2, Taylor set to work to produce such a vehicle, and by late 1949 a prototype Aerocar had flown.
On 13th December, 1956, the improved production Aerocar 1 received FAA certification. Four further Model 1s were built, for demonstration and sale. The six Aerocars so far built accumulated over 200,000 road miles and 5,000 flight hours. The final version was a much improved Aerocar III, converted from a model 1.
The car itself was a fairly conventional front-wheel-drive automobile. The power plant was an Avco Lycoming O-320 aircraft engine in the rear of the vehicle. This drove either the road wheels or, via an extended drive shaft in the detachable tail boom, a propellor to the rear of the Y-form tail structure. Braced monoplane wings were fitted in high configuration to the rear of the car. Unless the wings and tail boom were all correctly engaged, it was not possible to start the engine for flight.
Conversion from air to road could be achieved by one person in five minutes. The detached aircraft components could be towed behind the car in folding wheels fitted to the wing roots.
The Aerocar project ended with the passing of new legislation relating to automobiles in the United States. To meet 1970s requirements, the Aerocar would have to become too heavy and expensive to be practical.
Roadable Aircraft - Hafner Rotabuggy Flying Jeep
Enlarge image (will open in a new window)The work of the Airborne Forces Experimental Establishment at Ringway, Manchester, on the Rotachute from 1940 onwards led to the suggestion that the free-wheeling autogyro principles employed could also be applied to larger loads. The designer, Raoul Hafner, suggested the Rotabuggy, a Jeep (or "Blitz Buggy") with rotors, and the Rotatank, a similarly modified Valentine tank. A development contract was placed with the M.L. Aviation Company at White Waltham in 1942, covered by specification 10/42.
Preliminary tests involved loading a Jeep with concrete and dropping it from heights of up to 7 ft. 8 in. (2.35 m.), demonstrating that the standard vehicle could survive undamaged from impacts of up to 11g. A 46 ft. 8 in. (12.4 m.) dia. two-blade rotor was then fitted, as well as a streamlined tail fairing with twin rudderless fins. Other additions were perspex door panels, a 'hanging' rotor control next to the steering wheel and a rotor tachometer and glider navigational instruments.
The Rotabuggy, camouflaged, carrying RAF roundels and a prototype "P", was tow tested behind a 4½ litre supercharged Bentley, and achieved gliding speeds of up to 65 mph (105 km/h) IAS.
The first flight was made on November 16, 1943. Later, some flights were made behind a Whitley bomber from Sherbourne-in-Elmet.
One witness described how she watched a Whitley take off with a Jeep in tow, circle and land. The Jeep, still in tow, did not touch down at the same time, and the witness realised that its occupants "were unhappy". With the pilot holding the hanging control column and the driver clutching the steering wheel, the Jeep made a series of up and down movements, whilst the audience hoped it would stall on a 'down' rather than an 'up'.
This it fortunately did, the driver taking over and driving flat-out after the Whitley, to which it remained attached. When it stopped, nobody got out for a while; the pilot was then assisted out and lay down beside the runway to recover. Apparently he was exhausted from trying to control the joystick, which had whipped in circles for the whole flight.
Apparently this flight was one of the worst, and the handling and flying qualities of the Rotabuggy were officially recorded as "highly satisfactory", especially when large tail fins had been fitted and greater rotor blade articulation provided. However, development of Horsa II and Hamilcar vehicle carrying gliders made further development of the idea unnecessary.
Now the existing technology could be applied and upgraded..................the time is now...............by reviving sutch a concept we could vastly reduce road traffic congestion, and just imagine, not being on a ROAD, the Labor government could not use and apply a road tax, nor could any other existing government of England. And now after having gotten this far in my proposal, you realize that it's certainly not a taxing engineering idea.
Secret Squirrel,
MRL,
Minister for Re-Deranged Re-Engineering.
*****************************************************************
A Sound Project, Re-Discovered, Re-Engineered.
Hafner Rotabuggy Flying Jeep
The work of the Airborne Forces Experimental Establishment at Ringway, Manchester, on the Rotachute from 1940 onwards led to the suggestion that the free-wheeling autogyro principles employed could also be applied to larger loads. The designer, Raoul Hafner, suggested the Rotabuggy, a Jeep (or "Blitz Buggy") with rotors, and the Rotatank, a similarly modified Valentine tank. A development contract was placed with the M.L. Aviation Company at White Waltham in 1942, covered by specification 10/42.
Preliminary tests involved loading a Jeep with concrete and dropping it from heights of up to 7 ft. 8 in. (2.35 m.), demonstrating that the standard vehicle could survive undamaged from impacts of up to 11g. A 46 ft. 8 in. (12.4 m.) dia. two-blade rotor was then fitted, as well as a streamlined tail fairing with twin rudderless fins. Other additions were perspex door panels, a 'hanging' rotor control next to the steering wheel and a rotor tachometer and glider navigational instruments.
The Rotabuggy, camouflaged, carrying RAF roundels and a prototype "P", was tow tested behind a 4½ litre supercharged Bentley, and achieved gliding speeds of up to 65 mph (105 km/h) IAS.
The first flight was made on November 16, 1943. Later, some flights were made behind a Whitley bomber from Sherbourne-in-Elmet.
Of course, this sound project must be reinstated. It combines the easily manufactured mass produced and versatile jeep, and helicopter, in short saving money in and personel in assembly and manufacture lines. Jeeps can carry all sorts of light guns and where with all, that helicopters at present carry, but yet won't require complex and diversified assembly and manufacture, in short a Swiss Army Knife of Helicopter Jeeps can be created much more easily in modern times! Indeed in this age of austerity, Britain will be easily able to afford helicopters, all types of helicopters, based on a simple jeep helicopter base platform, just as on finds at a vehicular dealership, here's your car, add the options, here's your helijeep, add the weapon systems!For yet greater versatility, this revived project will be morphed into using an existing amphibious jeep chassis-the ultimate in versatility!!
Now as a further extension of the project, regard this Soviet engineering attempt.
The Antonov KT (Kr'lya Tanka) - also referred to as the A-40 or A-T - was developed in 1940 by the skilled designer of weight-carrying gliders, Oleg Konstantinovich Antonov. The aim was to test the viability of the idea of supplying partisan forces with light tanks to harrass the enemy's lines of communication.
A T-60 light tank provided the 'fuselage' of the unit, the unlocked tracks being the 'landing gear'. An unstaggered biplane wing of plywood and fabric was attached, together with a pair of tail booms with twin vertical surfaces and a high-mounted single horizontal surface. The aerodynamic controls comprised a single lever operating all flying surfaces from the driver's position. The flying surfaces were to be jettisoned directly on landing.
The unit was towed by a heavy bomber such as the Petlyakov Pe-8 or Tupolev TB-3. Whilst Western sources say the KT never left the ground, Soviet sources say a single successful flight was made in 1941 or 1942. With only limited official support, the programme was cancelled shortly after that time. England, not to be outdone, had a autogyro project in the works, involving the use of a Valentine tank. Sadly, this idea was not proceeded with, no doubt the effects of those tampering with proper engineers,those whose jealousy of sound engineering ideas resulted in the suppression of the engineers and their ideas.
However, we know better nowadays, at least we in the MRL do, and so we can combine this idea with that of our flying amphibious jeep. In short, to the flying jeep add a recoilless rifle.I should add that this idea worked well and was in actual fact used, a recoilless rifle integrated in the chassis of a motor scooter,truly inovative at the time, and an engineering project that worked in theory and in practice as well.
This turns our utility vehicle, suitable for carrying troops,equipment etc in to a combat zone, flying,swimming or driving, into a flying,swimming or driving light tank as well...........the penultimate in engineering versatility.
Sutch is the way, England must proceed with our backsides to the future................ever forwards by going backwards!!!
Realizing that funding may not be at hand, I propose we do what America did, by not really declaring war on Iraq,and thence invading it in it's version of a benevolent war of liberation. Here we note that America found over a hundred billion dollars it needed but didn't have.I propose instead to do the same,somewhat, and fund the projects by declaring war on France.I'm willing to negotiate, I'm flexible, perhaps a war against Holland, or perhaps Denmark would be easier. If not, we'll have to invade Jersey,just queitly, not tell them, merely go as disguised tourists,not damage anything or anyone, merely toruisting about, spending thither and yon, and then returning. Once home we can declare it a successful invading war of liberation and have billions availabble to spend as we will. Of course, this being the way of the world, then let's invade France,Denmark,Holland, and Jeresy as well, and we'll have millions of billions available for project fundings!!!!
Secret Squirrel,
M.R.L.
Minister For Re-Deranged Re-Engineering.
****************************************************************
Floods
M.R.L. Flooding Solution
The government is in crisis, England is in crisis, England is flooding, and the government is England's crisis. Recent vents of flooding in Britain have touched me deeply, saddened me, disheartened me, having seen the vicious flooding in America's formerly Great City of New Orleans, and pondered the effects on the people of Britain. Indeed utter destruction was wrought in New Orleans, and was wrought in England as well.............no assistance was rendered, the people left to fend for themselves.
New Orleans was entirely the fault of a laggard American government, ignoring the pleas of the Mayor
and Citizenry alike, to expand,improve,shore up,renew and/or build new and more solid levees,quite simply, dyke structures. Britain's flooding is also the fault of a government laggard in it's behavour, doing nothing to remedy the situation,the problems have continued to flood through governments past and present, as water through an American dyke. However there is engineering genius to be considered,British ingenuity, the adaptability of the British people in the face of adversity, all in the face of laggardly,inept, and ignorant governments which have allowed the problem to exist.
However, the problem can be solved quite easily with proper application of modern engineering techniques already existent.Indeed, I have THE solution.
It struck me quite plainly as I gazed on an amazing waterway,canal system, in Germany. I suddenly realized that one waterway crossed over the other, as a flyover, an overpass, one canal crossing above the other...............a canalway, in the sky, and in the ground. Well,here in Britain the idea will fly but the M.R.L. is more down to earth as are the engineering projects I endeavour to present. You see what needs be done is to live with both flood and non flood conditions. How? Well the German canal system is illustrative of this, it works, it's hardly leaking and collapsing as so many American unnecessary water canal projects do.Ours,however,is necessary. What we have to do, in each village and town, and interconnecting roadway, and within the towns, is to construct the roads themselves within walled dykes(I won't call the levees calling to mind the American travesty's of failed concrete walls). Now when it floods the water is contained within these canal roadways and channeled away when it's done, and back to dry road uses when it's gone. But how to live with this,how to maintain a dignified lifestyle? Well, quite simply it requires and adaptive change of lifestyle. All can be accommodated within any and all existent conditions, flood or no flood. Cars,vehicles, lorries, must now be of the amphibious type.
Recall the early amphicar,we all saw Branson's mucking about in one(no doubt a failed attempt to walk on water, the amphicar was as close as he could come).There are many varieties of such vehicies available. Look at the ingenious lorries the Cubans adapted to cross the sea to get to America. There are even yet amphi Recreational vehicles, allowing for caravan trips whilst in or out of flood conditions, indeed these can even be built as buses, for intercity, and in city transport of the population. Well now, we have accommodated transportation, business lorries, the common man's car, what of housing?
Well there are different approaches to actual housing for some may not prefer the amphi recreational bus vehicle. We can mount existing larger or smaller caravans, on barges(for those inclined to caravaning), and tether them to place,these will then rise and fall with the tide, or remain earthbound in event of non flood conditions,and so can still function as caravans in any and all conditions,allowing a waterworld,waterpark vacation in conditions of wet flood, and regular caravan camping in event of dry! Camp all around I should say! And,do! For those inclined to regular housing we can adapt as the Dutch have, with actual house type house boats, again tethering in place. What of larger edifices, well
the dying industry of cruise ships can be utilized and the ships transported to the flood areas and there they shall sit, or float depending on conditions,acting as buildings,apartments and whatever else form of other building is required.
Ah you say, what of air transit? Well, we do have, you know, existent, amphibious helicopters and yet aircraft of all types so each village can have it's own aerodromewaterport, no problem there at all.
There, we have covered it all, solved it all, and easily with modern existent technology.Indeed the M.R.L. excels and revels in solving the problem which past and present governments have utterly failed at.The M.R.L. solution! Good for you! Good for us!
Secret Squirrel,
M.R.L.
Minister For Re-Deranged Re-Engineering.
--------------------------------------------------------------
MRL on Roadable Aircraft - Aerocar Aerocar
Moulton B. Taylor dreamed of producing a roadable aircraft, which could be used as a family car and, as the need or inclination arose, have wings, tail and propeller quickly attached. After World War 2, Taylor set to work to produce such a vehicle, and by late 1949 a prototype Aerocar had flown.
On 13th December, 1956, the improved production Aerocar 1 received FAA certification. Four further Model 1s were built, for demonstration and sale. The six Aerocars so far built accumulated over 200,000 road miles and 5,000 flight hours. The final version was a much improved Aerocar III, converted from a model 1.
The car itself was a fairly conventional front-wheel-drive automobile. The power plant was an Avco Lycoming O-320 aircraft engine in the rear of the vehicle. This drove either the road wheels or, via an extended drive shaft in the detachable tail boom, a propeller to the rear of the Y-form tail structure. Braced monoplane wings were fitted in high configuration to the rear of the car. Unless the wings and tail boom were all correctly engaged, it was not possible to start the engine for flight.
Conversion from air to road could be achieved by one person in five minutes. The detached aircraft components could be towed behind the car in folding wheels fitted to the wing roots.
The Aerocar project ended with the passing of new legislation relating to automobiles in the United States. To meet 1970s requirements, the Aerocar would have to become too heavy and expensive to be practical.
Roadable Aircraft - Hafner Rotabuggy Flying Jeep
Enlarge image (will open in a new window)The work of the Airborne Forces Experimental Establishment at Ringway, Manchester, on the Rotachute from 1940 onwards led to the suggestion that the free-wheeling autogyro principles employed could also be applied to larger loads. The designer, Raoul Hafner, suggested the Rotabuggy, a Jeep (or "Blitz Buggy") with rotors, and the Rotatank, a similarly modified Valentine tank. A development contract was placed with the M.L. Aviation Company at White Waltham in 1942, covered by specification 10/42.
Preliminary tests involved loading a Jeep with concrete and dropping it from heights of up to 7 ft. 8 in. (2.35 m.), demonstrating that the standard vehicle could survive undamaged from impacts of up to 11g. A 46 ft. 8 in. (12.4 m.) dia. two-blade rotor was then fitted, as well as a streamlined tail fairing with twin rudderless fins. Other additions were perspex door panels, a 'hanging' rotor control next to the steering wheel and a rotor tachometer and glider navigational instruments.
The Rotabuggy, camouflaged, carrying RAF roundels and a prototype "P", was tow tested behind a 4½ litre supercharged Bentley, and achieved gliding speeds of up to 65 mph (105 km/h) IAS.
The first flight was made on November 16, 1943. Later, some flights were made behind a Whitley bomber from Sherbourne-in-Elmet.
One witness described how she watched a Whitley take off with a Jeep in tow, circle and land. The Jeep, still in tow, did not touch down at the same time, and the witness realised that its occupants "were unhappy". With the pilot holding the hanging control column and the driver clutching the steering wheel, the Jeep made a series of up and down movements, whilst the audience hoped it would stall on a 'down' rather than an 'up'.
This it fortunately did, the driver taking over and driving flat-out after the Whitley, to which it remained attached. When it stopped, nobody got out for a while; the pilot was then assisted out and lay down beside the runway to recover. Apparently he was exhausted from trying to control the joystick, which had whipped in circles for the whole flight.
Apparently this flight was one of the worst, and the handling and flying qualities of the Rotabuggy were officially recorded as "highly satisfactory", especially when large tail fins had been fitted and greater rotor blade articulation provided. However, development of Horsa II and Hamilcar vehicle carrying gliders made further development of the idea unnecessary.
Now the existing technology could be applied and upgraded..................the time is now...............by reviving Sutch a concept we could vastly reduce road traffic congestion, and just imagine, not being on a ROAD, the Labor government could not use and apply a road tax, nor could any other existing government of England.Also,consider the versatility,adaptability, of said type of aero-car or similar engineering marvel, why house could be built with elevated platforms to accommodate the car.in suitable times, flooding for example, on hearing of impending floods, the car could be flown to the roof barn shelter,(door in it's roof), and there housed, so when flood conditions are in effect, the aero car could fly one out to safety. Also further increasing adaptability, engineer said aero car such that it is amphibious in abilities, thus being useful as a boat should the flood creep up on one and one has not flown the aero car to roof shelter. And, yet more, yes, it's ability to be used in Venice like city conditions, where cities have been walled in WITH water and adapted since the situations are ridiculously beyond control, such as say, New Orleans, and English midlands town,cities,villages so often hit by flooding that the Labour government keep insisting will not make their usual yearly return or two. And now after having gotten this far in my proposal, you realize that it's certainly not a taxing engineering idea,but a great all sound all-rounder!!
Secret Squirrel,
MRL,
Minister for Re-Deranged Re-Engineering.
*****************************************************************
A Sound Project, Re-Discovered, Re-Engineered.
Hafner Rotabuggy Flying Jeep
The work of the Airborne Forces Experimental Establishment at Ringway, Manchester, on the Rotachute from 1940 onwards led to the suggestion that the free-wheeling autogyro principles employed could also be applied to larger loads. The designer, Raoul Hafner, suggested the Rotabuggy, a Jeep (or "Blitz Buggy") with rotors, and the Rotatank, a similarly modified Valentine tank. A development contract was placed with the M.L. Aviation Company at White Waltham in 1942, covered by specification 10/42.
Preliminary tests involved loading a Jeep with concrete and dropping it from heights of up to 7 ft. 8 in. (2.35 m.), demonstrating that the standard vehicle could survive undamaged from impacts of up to 11g. A 46 ft. 8 in. (12.4 m.) dia. two-blade rotor was then fitted, as well as a streamlined tail fairing with twin rudderless fins. Other additions were perspex door panels, a 'hanging' rotor control next to the steering wheel and a rotor tachometer and glider navigational instruments.
The Rotabuggy, camouflaged, carrying RAF roundels and a prototype "P", was tow tested behind a 4½ litre supercharged Bentley, and achieved gliding speeds of up to 65 mph (105 km/h) IAS.
The first flight was made on November 16, 1943. Later, some flights were made behind a Whitley bomber from Sherbourne-in-Elmet.
Of course, this sound project must be reinstated. It combines the easily manufactured mass produced and versatile jeep, and helicopter, in short saving money in and personnel in assembly and manufacture lines. Jeeps can carry all sorts of light guns and where with all, that helicopters at present carry, but yet won't require complex and diversified assembly and manufacture, in short a Swiss Army Knife of Helicopter Jeeps can be created much more easily in modern times! Indeed in this age of austerity, Britain will be easily able to afford helicopters, all types of helicopters, based on a simple jeep helicopter base platform, just as on finds at a vehicular dealership, here's your car, add the options, here's your helijeep, add the weapon systems!For yet greater versatility, this revived project will be morphed into using an existing amphibious jeep chassis-the ultimate in versatility!!
Now as a further extension of the project, regard this Soviet engineering attempt.
The Antonov KT (Kr'lya Tanka) - also referred to as the A-40 or A-T - was developed in 1940 by the skilled designer of weight-carrying gliders, Oleg Konstantinovich Antonov. The aim was to test the viability of the idea of supplying partisan forces with light tanks to harass the enemy's lines of communication.
A T-60 light tank provided the 'fuselage' of the unit, the unlocked tracks being the 'landing gear'. An unstaggered biplane wing of plywood and fabric was attached, together with a pair of tail booms with twin vertical surfaces and a high-mounted single horizontal surface. The aerodynamic controls comprised a single lever operating all flying surfaces from the driver's position. The flying surfaces were to be jettisoned directly on landing.
The unit was towed by a heavy bomber such as the Petlyakov Pe-8 or Tupolev TB-3. Whilst Western sources say the KT never left the ground, Soviet sources say a single successful flight was made in 1941 or 1942. With only limited official support, the program was canceled shortly after that time. England, not to be outdone, had a autogyro project in the works, involving the use of a Valentine tank. Sadly, this idea was not proceeded with, no doubt the effects of those tampering with proper engineers,those whose jealousy of sound engineering ideas resulted in the suppression of the engineers and their ideas.
However, we know better nowadays, at least we in the MRL do, and so we can combine this idea with that of our flying amphibious jeep. In short, to the flying jeep add a recoilless rifle.I should add that this idea worked well and was in actual fact used, a recoilless rifle integrated in the chassis of a motor scooter,truly innovative at the time, and an engineering project that worked in theory and in practice as well.Further versatility added by making said vehicle,amphibious.Now the English army has a truly useful vehicle, a vehicle replacing many items being all in one as it were, replacing amphibious vehicle,jeep transport,gun equipped helicopter-bomber,tank............does Labour develop such a vehicle............no........nor the Tories either for that matter. Nay, only the MRL has the for sight,the intelligence, to concept such a marvelous vehicle.
This turns our utility vehicle, suitable for carrying troops,equipment etc in to a combat zone, flying,swimming or driving, into a flying,swimming or driving light tank as well...........the penultimate in engineering versatility.
Sutch is the way, England must proceed with our backsides to the future................ever forwards by going backwards!!!
Realizing that funding may not be at hand, I propose we do what America did, by not really declaring war on Iraq,and thence invading it in it's version of a benevolent war of liberation. Here we note that America found over a hundred billion dollars it needed but didn't have.I propose instead to do the same,somewhat, and fund the projects by declaring war on France.I'm willing to negotiate, I'm flexible, perhaps a war against Holland, or perhaps Denmark would be easier. If not, we'll have to invade Jersey,just quietly, not tell them, merely go as disguised tourists,not damage anything or anyone, merely touristing about, spending thither and yon, and then returning. Once home we can declare it a successful invading war of liberation and have billions available to spend as we will. Of course, this being the way of the world, then let's invade France,Denmark,Holland, and Jersey as well, and we'll have millions of billions available for project fundings!!!!
Secret Squirrel,
M.R.L.
Minister For Re-Deranged Re-Engineering.
****************************************************************
Floods
M.R.L. Flooding Solution
The government is in crisis, England is in crisis, England is flooding, and the government is England's crisis. Recent vents of flooding in Britain have touched me deeply, saddened me, disheartened me, having seen the vicious flooding in America's formerly Great City of New Orleans, and pondered the effects on the people of Britain. Indeed utter destruction was wrought in New Orleans, and was wrought in England as well.............no assistance was rendered, the people left to fend for themselves.
New Orleans was entirely the fault of a laggard American government, ignoring the pleas of the Mayor
and Citizenry alike, to expand,improve,shore up,renew and/or build new and more solid levees,quite simply, dyke structures. Britain's flooding is also the fault of a government laggard in it's behaviour, doing nothing to remedy the situation,the problems have continued to flood through governments past and present, as water through an American dyke. However there is engineering genius to be considered,British ingenuity, the adaptability of the British people in the face of adversity, all in the face of laggardly,inept, and ignorant governments which have allowed the problem to exist.
However, the problem can be solved quite easily with proper application of modern engineering techniques already existent.Indeed, I have THE solution.
It struck me quite plainly as I gazed on an amazing waterway,canal system, in Germany. I suddenly realized that one waterway crossed over the other, as a flyover, an overpass, one canal crossing above the other...............a canalway, in the sky, and in the ground. Well,here in Britain the idea will fly but the M.R.L. is more down to earth as are the engineering projects I endeavour to present. You see what needs be done is to live with both flood and non flood conditions. How? Well the German canal system is illustrative of this, it works, it's hardly leaking and collapsing as so many American unnecessary water canal projects do.Ours,however,is necessary. What we have to do, in each village and town, and interconnecting roadway, and within the towns, is to construct the roads themselves within walled dykes(I won't call the levees calling to mind the American travesty's of failed concrete walls). Now when it floods the water is contained within these canal roadways and channeled away when it's done, and back to dry road uses when it's gone. But how to live with this,how to maintain a dignified lifestyle? Well, quite simply it requires and adaptive change of lifestyle. All can be accommodated within any and all existent conditions, flood or no flood. Cars,vehicles, lorries, must now be of the amphibious type.
Recall the early amphicar,we all saw Branson's mucking about in one(no doubt a failed attempt to walk on water, the amphicar was as close as he could come).There are many varieties of such vehicles available. Look at the ingenious lorries the Cubans adapted to cross the sea to get to America. There are even yet amphi Recreational vehicles, allowing for caravan trips whilst in or out of flood conditions, indeed these can even be built as buses, for intercity, and in city transport of the population. Well now, we have accommodated transportation, business lorries, the common man's car, what of housing?
Well there are different approaches to actual housing for some may not prefer the amphi recreational bus vehicle. We can mount existing larger or smaller caravans, on barges(for those inclined to caravaning), and tether them to place,these will then rise and fall with the tide, or remain earthbound in event of non flood conditions,and so can still function as caravans in any and all conditions,allowing a waterworld,waterpark vacation in conditions of wet flood, and regular caravan camping in event of dry! Camp all around I should say! And,do! For those inclined to regular housing we can adapt as the Dutch have, with actual house type house boats, again tethering in place. What of larger edifices, well
the dying industry of cruise ships can be utilized and the ships transported to the flood areas and there they shall sit, or float depending on conditions,acting as buildings,apartments and whatever else form of other building is required.
Ah you say, what of air transit? Well, we do have, you know, existent, amphibious helicopters and yet aircraft of all types so each village can have it's own aerodromewaterport, no problem there at all.
There, we have covered it all, solved it all, and easily with modern existent technology.Indeed the M.R.L. excels and revels in solving the problem which past and present governments have utterly failed at.The M.R.L. solution! Good for you! Good for us!
Secret Squirrel,
M.R.L.
Minister For Re-Deranged Re-Engineering.
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Secret Squirrel On The Falklands Negotiations,The Japanese Planned Monster,& Flooding
Keywords:
floods, flooding, monster, Godzilla,Falklands, Puerto Rico,Spain, Britain, America, USA, war, negotiations
Secret Squirrel Muddies The Waters Of The Falklands.
Secret Squirrel has studied the Falklands politics of the day, and has seen fit to here muddy the waters of the Falklands,a technique he learned from his father, following the pub rules of argumentation and the spreading of and disseminating and countering all forms of false informations,politics, and various propagandas of any and all sorts of out sorts.Firstly let's consider The Americas,specificly the area encompassing the revolting colony of America. Now, firstly, the
Republic of Indian Stream resulted from an ambiguity in the Treaty of Paris (1783), which established the border between the newly independent US and the remainder of British North America(specificly the colony of the Canadas as it presently is today). It defined the border between the US and (what was to become) Canada in the north of New Hampshire as the northwesternmost head of the Connecticut
River. There are however several possibilities, as shown on the map: the heads of Hall’s, Indian and Perry Streams, and Third Lake, the origin of the Connecticut River itself.The US and Britain each interpreted the ambiguity to
their maximum advantage, the US considering Hall’s Stream the border between the two states, and Britain opting for the waterway beginning at Third Lake. As a result of this, the area in between was neither here nor there. Except for tax purposes. Both states sent tax and debt collectors into the area – which chagrined the inhabitants so much that they declared their independence… but only until the Americans and the British could sort out their differences.
July 9, 1832, the inhabitants revolted,against all,not only the Americans and America, but wrongly against Britain,and declared the disputed area to be a sovereign nation. Settlers drafted a constitution, which spelled out
the rights and obligations of the citizens. They instituted their own court system, issued their own stamps, established a militia, and did all they needed to be a self sufficient entity.Neither government was happy with the situation and continued to attempt enforcing its laws on the citizenry of the Indian Stream Republic. Then,in 1835, New Hampshire Militia invaded militarily, by means of military force and coercion , then occupied the area and the border was established according to the ‘maximalist’ American interpretation of the Treaty of Paris.Being declared
American by right of military invasion,seizure,annexation,in short American possession.
However,the situation/seizure/incorporation very much closely resembles the Falklands, and the present Falklands situation.One specific,Hillary Clinton,present American Secretary of State),wishes to be the intermediary in some such as she states, to be wished by her and the Americans, negotiations between Britain and the Argentinians(Argies),with respect to(disrespect to according to THEIR wishes,the people of the Falklands that is),the Falklands. In short, should the Americans "negotiate" the British withdrawal and renunciation of claim to the Falklands,or halving any such claim(as it seems both they,the American government,President, and one Hillary Clinton, the American Secretary of State,seems to wish),I feel that it is our moral obligation(ours, the MRL, since New Labour is politically immoral)to once again open and claim The former Republic of Indian Stream, and NOT merge it with the presently situationed colony of Canada, but keep it for ourselves.
Since America is intent on giving our Falklands to the Argentine's well then should we not see to it that THEY give Puerto Rico to the Spanish,once more,returning it as it were? I should think so, and indeed should events center on oil rights, then we must also support the giving of oil rights for offshore Puerto Rico to the Spanish,just to prove we're not selfish you know.
We should there for position ourselves such that we hold negotiations between America,and Spain,with respect to, the return of Puerto Rico to Spain, which first discovered and occupied it since 1493.......all the way to 1898, when the Americans by military force and invasion, removed both it and Cuba from Spanish possession.And we recall just recently that the Puerto Ricans voted against joining America, remaining,in preference,as sort of Puerto Rico's status as a semiautonomous Commonwealth,sort of but not quite,free associated state, colony, state and nation of the United States, not American,not part of America, but rather still stuck with the status of American territorial possession in reality,not free and independent being kept basically as a farm club for the development of the token
content Puerto Ricans allowed to play in the American baseball leagues. And that situation is ridiculously nowhere nears the Falklands,who are hardly by any means enslaved cricket players(won't find a Falklander in the British cricket leagues,no you won't,thank-you very much) but obviously a grave injustice all round,especially with respect to Spain,for whom we show our sympathies.
Secret Squirrel,
MRL,(MP,Dunny On The Wold),
Minister For Re-Deranged Re-Engineering.
..................................................................
Japan Inches Ever Closer to Building a Real Gundam
Posted at 6:00 AM Jan 11, 2008
Gundamreal!!
That darned Japan! As soon as you beat them in a World War, in just over 60 years, they're already planning on building giant war robots...or at least pricing them out. Official Pal o' TR Gia sent me this troubling link,.........
a translation of a post on Japan's Science and Technology Agency's Japanese SciencePortal website, which figures the official cost of making a real, moving, 60-foot-tall Gundam mobile suit at a mere $725,000,000.
You can check out how the costs break down at the article on Pink Tentacle, but it does not include labor in the final tally, or beam sabers, or locating an emotionally damaged 15-year-old boy to be the pilot (although in all honesty, those last things seem to be a dime a dozen in Japan)............here presented............................
$725,000,000 Gundam
11 Jan 2008
Gundam -- Ever wondered how much it would cost to build a working, life-sized Gundam robot? At least $725 million for the parts and materials, according to an estimate published on the SciencePortal website run by the Japan Science and Technology Agency. The price tag for this giant humanoid, which would stand 18 meters (60 feet) tall and weigh 43.4 metric tons (nearly 100,000 lbs), does not include the cost of labor (this is where an extensive pool of robot slave labor comes in handy), nor does it include the cost of the infrastructure needed to support the machine once you are ready to climb aboard and take it for a walk.
Estimated cost of Gundam parts:
ITEM UNIT COST QTY COST
Aluminum alloy (honeycomb) $1,800 43,875 $79,000,000
(+ Metal manufacturing/processing) $240,000,000
Main computer (IBM) $1,550,000 1 $1,550,000
Gas turbine engines (GE) $52,000,000 7 $364,000,000
Superconductive motors (IHI) $260,000 30 $7,800,000
Motor drivers $260,000 30 $7,800,000
Reducers $760,000 30 $22,800,000
Sensors $910,000
Cockpit $450,000
TOTAL: $724,310,000
Note that unlike in the anime, the Gundam described here would merely be able to walk — it would not have the ability to fly or have any fancy weaponry. Also, instead of Gundanium, the robot would be covered in aluminum alloy plating.
Gundam -- An IBM Blue Gene supercomputer would serve as the Gundam’s computer system ($1.5 million sounds like a steal), and its movements would be driven by 30 giant 400KW motors — 12 in the legs, 2 in the torso, 14 in the arms, and 2 in the neck. A 400KW motor is quite powerful — by comparison, the Shinkansen bullet train uses a 300KW motor. The motors alone would cost $7.8 million, but to power them would require the equivalent of 7 Apache helicopter engines (the helicopters cost an estimated $52 million each).
While $700 million is a lot of money (more than the GDP of Liberia, Grenada and a dozen or so other nations), it does not seem like so much when you compare it to the cost of other large-scale machinery. Military tanks costs around $4 to $7 million each, commercial passenger planes cost around $200 to $300 million, rockets can cost around $100 million to launch, expensive fighter jets can cost billions, and aircraft carriers cost about $5 billion.
A robot of this size and stature would face a number of physical challenges, such as the inability to walk without completely destroying the ground surface beneath its feet. When humans walk, we exert about 1.5 times our body weight of pressure on the ground (and on our feet) with each step. This poses a huge problem for a 43-ton humanoid, which would probably need to have very wide feet (to distribute the pressure over a larger area) and walk very very slowly. Dinosaurs found a way to get around, though, so giant robots probably can, too.
But perhaps the greatest challenge of all would be to find the funding for an enormous walking machine with no apparent practical or military application. With no money, this Gundam will forever remain just a dream.
Long before Pearl Harbour, the Australians warned the Americans about the Japanese, as I recall at the time,before Pearl Harbour,the Australians were being attacked by the Japanese...............and indeed, Chamberlain was warned,solidly, about the Germans,but then at the time it was said he was eating Polish\French sausages and had adapted to a liking of them..................shunned and being shunned by everyone else. And so it is for us to regard these intelligence reports in a very grave light and,of course, warn our existing government of the impending Japanese invasion using these giant robots. Imagine, all those years of those Japanese monster and robot movies, the merest tactical planning inscrutably hidden from sight....................be warned..................whatever will we send against them as first wave.........Labourmen in Bunny suits?
--------------------------------------------------
Secret Squirrel,
MRL,
Minister For Re-Deranged Re-Engineering.
.......................................................................
Emergency MRL Flood Floatation Equipment
As floods occur, the local populace is always imperiled. No matter what, incumbent governments ignore the
problems, stating the waters will subside if one simply waits, and also that flooding won't occur again,such as occurred in the middle of England ......it does, point in fact ,but in the meanwhile the local populace,which is the people of England, suffer,worry, drown etc etc etc.
Indeed they suffered yet again,as well,in the city of New Orleans in the former colony of the Americas...........indeed 7inches of a rain storm, and the populace was once again waist deep in water. While the occurrence was suppressed in the Americas press, I made note of the fact and set my engineering skills to work. What needs be done? To assist the populace to float through such events,to enable them to empower them, to be able to weather a flood whenever it suddenly occurs,whether government acknowledges the flood occurring or not! Indeed how to deal with such a sudden event,how to be ever ready for such an event? Well, the best course of action is to wear devices such that the populace could ever be ready. Now wearing bulky life vests is on the ridiculous side, so we must turn our engineering expertness to the actual design of clothes themselves. Now, we usually have two forms of weather, mostly hot or extremely regularly warm, and a touch on the cooler side.
Well now I have discovered, existent a ready made solution for the female population, the bikini, the bikini with suitable inflatable water wing breasts! Indeed, this would benefit in terms of style as the female could have a larger set of bristols,zoomers or whatever they are referred to, and at the same time,in the event of a flood could maximally inflate such that they become life saving ,buoyant water wings...as is show in the accompanying picture.
For the cooler days, a dress could be worn, an inflatable dress,but not only inflatable, one that inflates into a full size kayak boat dress and so save the wearing much discomfort and worry during flood situations...again see the accompanying picture of the kayak dress as it could be used.Indeed we in the MRL would see to it, that every female in Britain would be provided,gratis, as in free, as in at no cost to them, one of each of these items. Of course, they might like to purchase more for their wardrobe but that extra cost would have to be born by them. As for males, a suitable pair of blowup kayak pants could be developed for their supply and use.
Indeed as ever, hands reaching out across the water to our misfortunate colonials in The Americas, particularly New Orleans,we could also sent up not lend lease as they provided during our war ,but rather borrow rental during this period of their meteorological war.
See accompanying images of these fascinating,useful and necessary flood clothing items.
Secret Squirrel,
MRL
Minister for Re-Deranged Re-Engineering.
floods, flooding, monster, Godzilla,Falklands, Puerto Rico,Spain, Britain, America, USA, war, negotiations
Secret Squirrel Muddies The Waters Of The Falklands.
Secret Squirrel has studied the Falklands politics of the day, and has seen fit to here muddy the waters of the Falklands,a technique he learned from his father, following the pub rules of argumentation and the spreading of and disseminating and countering all forms of false informations,politics, and various propagandas of any and all sorts of out sorts.Firstly let's consider The Americas,specificly the area encompassing the revolting colony of America. Now, firstly, the
Republic of Indian Stream resulted from an ambiguity in the Treaty of Paris (1783), which established the border between the newly independent US and the remainder of British North America(specificly the colony of the Canadas as it presently is today). It defined the border between the US and (what was to become) Canada in the north of New Hampshire as the northwesternmost head of the Connecticut
River. There are however several possibilities, as shown on the map: the heads of Hall’s, Indian and Perry Streams, and Third Lake, the origin of the Connecticut River itself.The US and Britain each interpreted the ambiguity to
their maximum advantage, the US considering Hall’s Stream the border between the two states, and Britain opting for the waterway beginning at Third Lake. As a result of this, the area in between was neither here nor there. Except for tax purposes. Both states sent tax and debt collectors into the area – which chagrined the inhabitants so much that they declared their independence… but only until the Americans and the British could sort out their differences.
July 9, 1832, the inhabitants revolted,against all,not only the Americans and America, but wrongly against Britain,and declared the disputed area to be a sovereign nation. Settlers drafted a constitution, which spelled out
the rights and obligations of the citizens. They instituted their own court system, issued their own stamps, established a militia, and did all they needed to be a self sufficient entity.Neither government was happy with the situation and continued to attempt enforcing its laws on the citizenry of the Indian Stream Republic. Then,in 1835, New Hampshire Militia invaded militarily, by means of military force and coercion , then occupied the area and the border was established according to the ‘maximalist’ American interpretation of the Treaty of Paris.Being declared
American by right of military invasion,seizure,annexation,in short American possession.
However,the situation/seizure/incorporation very much closely resembles the Falklands, and the present Falklands situation.One specific,Hillary Clinton,present American Secretary of State),wishes to be the intermediary in some such as she states, to be wished by her and the Americans, negotiations between Britain and the Argentinians(Argies),with respect to(disrespect to according to THEIR wishes,the people of the Falklands that is),the Falklands. In short, should the Americans "negotiate" the British withdrawal and renunciation of claim to the Falklands,or halving any such claim(as it seems both they,the American government,President, and one Hillary Clinton, the American Secretary of State,seems to wish),I feel that it is our moral obligation(ours, the MRL, since New Labour is politically immoral)to once again open and claim The former Republic of Indian Stream, and NOT merge it with the presently situationed colony of Canada, but keep it for ourselves.
Since America is intent on giving our Falklands to the Argentine's well then should we not see to it that THEY give Puerto Rico to the Spanish,once more,returning it as it were? I should think so, and indeed should events center on oil rights, then we must also support the giving of oil rights for offshore Puerto Rico to the Spanish,just to prove we're not selfish you know.
We should there for position ourselves such that we hold negotiations between America,and Spain,with respect to, the return of Puerto Rico to Spain, which first discovered and occupied it since 1493.......all the way to 1898, when the Americans by military force and invasion, removed both it and Cuba from Spanish possession.And we recall just recently that the Puerto Ricans voted against joining America, remaining,in preference,as sort of Puerto Rico's status as a semiautonomous Commonwealth,sort of but not quite,free associated state, colony, state and nation of the United States, not American,not part of America, but rather still stuck with the status of American territorial possession in reality,not free and independent being kept basically as a farm club for the development of the token
content Puerto Ricans allowed to play in the American baseball leagues. And that situation is ridiculously nowhere nears the Falklands,who are hardly by any means enslaved cricket players(won't find a Falklander in the British cricket leagues,no you won't,thank-you very much) but obviously a grave injustice all round,especially with respect to Spain,for whom we show our sympathies.
Secret Squirrel,
MRL,(MP,Dunny On The Wold),
Minister For Re-Deranged Re-Engineering.
..................................................................
Japan Inches Ever Closer to Building a Real Gundam
Posted at 6:00 AM Jan 11, 2008
Gundamreal!!
That darned Japan! As soon as you beat them in a World War, in just over 60 years, they're already planning on building giant war robots...or at least pricing them out. Official Pal o' TR Gia sent me this troubling link,.........
a translation of a post on Japan's Science and Technology Agency's Japanese SciencePortal website, which figures the official cost of making a real, moving, 60-foot-tall Gundam mobile suit at a mere $725,000,000.
You can check out how the costs break down at the article on Pink Tentacle, but it does not include labor in the final tally, or beam sabers, or locating an emotionally damaged 15-year-old boy to be the pilot (although in all honesty, those last things seem to be a dime a dozen in Japan)............here presented............................
$725,000,000 Gundam
11 Jan 2008
Gundam -- Ever wondered how much it would cost to build a working, life-sized Gundam robot? At least $725 million for the parts and materials, according to an estimate published on the SciencePortal website run by the Japan Science and Technology Agency. The price tag for this giant humanoid, which would stand 18 meters (60 feet) tall and weigh 43.4 metric tons (nearly 100,000 lbs), does not include the cost of labor (this is where an extensive pool of robot slave labor comes in handy), nor does it include the cost of the infrastructure needed to support the machine once you are ready to climb aboard and take it for a walk.
Estimated cost of Gundam parts:
ITEM UNIT COST QTY COST
Aluminum alloy (honeycomb) $1,800 43,875 $79,000,000
(+ Metal manufacturing/processing) $240,000,000
Main computer (IBM) $1,550,000 1 $1,550,000
Gas turbine engines (GE) $52,000,000 7 $364,000,000
Superconductive motors (IHI) $260,000 30 $7,800,000
Motor drivers $260,000 30 $7,800,000
Reducers $760,000 30 $22,800,000
Sensors $910,000
Cockpit $450,000
TOTAL: $724,310,000
Note that unlike in the anime, the Gundam described here would merely be able to walk — it would not have the ability to fly or have any fancy weaponry. Also, instead of Gundanium, the robot would be covered in aluminum alloy plating.
Gundam -- An IBM Blue Gene supercomputer would serve as the Gundam’s computer system ($1.5 million sounds like a steal), and its movements would be driven by 30 giant 400KW motors — 12 in the legs, 2 in the torso, 14 in the arms, and 2 in the neck. A 400KW motor is quite powerful — by comparison, the Shinkansen bullet train uses a 300KW motor. The motors alone would cost $7.8 million, but to power them would require the equivalent of 7 Apache helicopter engines (the helicopters cost an estimated $52 million each).
While $700 million is a lot of money (more than the GDP of Liberia, Grenada and a dozen or so other nations), it does not seem like so much when you compare it to the cost of other large-scale machinery. Military tanks costs around $4 to $7 million each, commercial passenger planes cost around $200 to $300 million, rockets can cost around $100 million to launch, expensive fighter jets can cost billions, and aircraft carriers cost about $5 billion.
A robot of this size and stature would face a number of physical challenges, such as the inability to walk without completely destroying the ground surface beneath its feet. When humans walk, we exert about 1.5 times our body weight of pressure on the ground (and on our feet) with each step. This poses a huge problem for a 43-ton humanoid, which would probably need to have very wide feet (to distribute the pressure over a larger area) and walk very very slowly. Dinosaurs found a way to get around, though, so giant robots probably can, too.
But perhaps the greatest challenge of all would be to find the funding for an enormous walking machine with no apparent practical or military application. With no money, this Gundam will forever remain just a dream.
Long before Pearl Harbour, the Australians warned the Americans about the Japanese, as I recall at the time,before Pearl Harbour,the Australians were being attacked by the Japanese...............and indeed, Chamberlain was warned,solidly, about the Germans,but then at the time it was said he was eating Polish\French sausages and had adapted to a liking of them..................shunned and being shunned by everyone else. And so it is for us to regard these intelligence reports in a very grave light and,of course, warn our existing government of the impending Japanese invasion using these giant robots. Imagine, all those years of those Japanese monster and robot movies, the merest tactical planning inscrutably hidden from sight....................be warned..................whatever will we send against them as first wave.........Labourmen in Bunny suits?
--------------------------------------------------
Secret Squirrel,
MRL,
Minister For Re-Deranged Re-Engineering.
.......................................................................
Emergency MRL Flood Floatation Equipment
As floods occur, the local populace is always imperiled. No matter what, incumbent governments ignore the
problems, stating the waters will subside if one simply waits, and also that flooding won't occur again,such as occurred in the middle of England ......it does, point in fact ,but in the meanwhile the local populace,which is the people of England, suffer,worry, drown etc etc etc.
Indeed they suffered yet again,as well,in the city of New Orleans in the former colony of the Americas...........indeed 7inches of a rain storm, and the populace was once again waist deep in water. While the occurrence was suppressed in the Americas press, I made note of the fact and set my engineering skills to work. What needs be done? To assist the populace to float through such events,to enable them to empower them, to be able to weather a flood whenever it suddenly occurs,whether government acknowledges the flood occurring or not! Indeed how to deal with such a sudden event,how to be ever ready for such an event? Well, the best course of action is to wear devices such that the populace could ever be ready. Now wearing bulky life vests is on the ridiculous side, so we must turn our engineering expertness to the actual design of clothes themselves. Now, we usually have two forms of weather, mostly hot or extremely regularly warm, and a touch on the cooler side.
Well now I have discovered, existent a ready made solution for the female population, the bikini, the bikini with suitable inflatable water wing breasts! Indeed, this would benefit in terms of style as the female could have a larger set of bristols,zoomers or whatever they are referred to, and at the same time,in the event of a flood could maximally inflate such that they become life saving ,buoyant water wings...as is show in the accompanying picture.
For the cooler days, a dress could be worn, an inflatable dress,but not only inflatable, one that inflates into a full size kayak boat dress and so save the wearing much discomfort and worry during flood situations...again see the accompanying picture of the kayak dress as it could be used.Indeed we in the MRL would see to it, that every female in Britain would be provided,gratis, as in free, as in at no cost to them, one of each of these items. Of course, they might like to purchase more for their wardrobe but that extra cost would have to be born by them. As for males, a suitable pair of blowup kayak pants could be developed for their supply and use.
Indeed as ever, hands reaching out across the water to our misfortunate colonials in The Americas, particularly New Orleans,we could also sent up not lend lease as they provided during our war ,but rather borrow rental during this period of their meteorological war.
See accompanying images of these fascinating,useful and necessary flood clothing items.
Secret Squirrel,
MRL
Minister for Re-Deranged Re-Engineering.
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
Secret Squirrel Tackles Flooding and Farming
Keywords:
monster,raving,loony,party,floods,flooding,prevention,chunnel,canals,dykes,dikes,ice,sales,farming,farms
The M.R.L.Solving Britain's Flood Water Problems
Well now, what with the recent floodings, and re-floodings occurring now virtually and in reality every year, something should be done about it. But of course the incumbent government has been laggardly in dealing with the recurring situations. There is a solution to the problem, a sound engineering solution, based on sound hydrological engineering principles, the very sound principles set down by the Romans. It all works and will work, on the basis of the Roman knowledge of hydrology, namely that water follows the rule of law written in hydrology that water must flow downhill, unless it is arrested by a rise in the land. Now Britain is up at the top of the world, and extends downwards, quite rightly, and properly with France and the French beneath us.
What needs be done, is quite simply, starting at the top, we construct,in the earth of course, a long line drainage canal extending downwards, towards and collecting at Dover. Why collecting, well there will be several branch lines joining the main artery canal,all part of a drainage canal system
Now the Collector, as it is called, where the water will be disposed of, is quite properly the Chunnel, to which the storm water will the be directed in to, continuing on, ever following the legalities of the Laws Of Hydrology, flowing downwards, and emerging in France, where it will be a French problem for them to deal with.
You recall a previous engineering plan of allowing the sewage of Great Britain to be collected and directed in to the Chunnel? Well, there will be no problem there as the Chunnel can accommodate both the sewage flows and the storm water flows,as some area cities already do have and share a common sewage/sanitation/storm drain system, so too can that principle be applied here, rather than separate, saving the costs of building another Chunnel...........a Pence saved is a Pound earned, until the government takes your pence.
Ever onwards, the M.R.L. solves problems through sound engineering principles.No problem there.
Secret Squirrel,
M.R.L.,
Minister for Re-Deranged Re-Engineering.
......................................
Emergency MRL Flood Floatation Equipment
As floods occur, the local populace is always imperiled. No matter what, incumbent governments ignore the
problems, stating the waters will subside if one simply waits, and also that flooding won't occur again,such as occurred in the middle of England ......it does, point in fact ,but in the meanwhile the local populace,which is the people of England, suffer,worry, drown etc etc etc.
Indeed they suffered yet again,as well,in the city of New Orleans in the former colony of the Americas...........indeed 7inches of a rain storm, and the populace was once again waist deep in water. While the occurrence was suppressed in the Americas press, I made note of the fact and set my engineering skills to work. What needs be done? To assist the populace to float through such events,to enable them to empower them, to be able to weather a flood whenever it suddenly occurs,whether government acknowledges the flood occurring or not! Indeed how to deal with such a sudden event,how to be ever ready for such an event? Well, the best course of action is to wear devices such that the populace could ever be ready. Now wearing bulky life vests is on the ridiculous side, so we must turn our engineering expertness to the actual design of clothes themselves. Now, we usually have two forms of weather, mostly hot or extremely regularly warm, and a touch on the cooler side.
Well now I have discovered, there existent, a ready made solution for the female population, the bikini, the bikini with suitable inflatable water wing breasts! Indeed, this would benefit in terms of style as the female could have a larger set of bristols,zoomers or whatever they are referred to, and at the same time,in the event of a flood could maximally inflate such that they become life saving ,buoyant water wings...as is show in the accompanying picture.
For the cooler days, a dress could be worn, an inflatable dress,but not only inflatable, one that inflates into a full size kayak boat dress and so save the wearing much discomfort and worry during flood situations...again see the accompanying picture of the kayak dress as it could be used.Indeed we in the MRL would see to it, that every female in Britain would be provided,gratis, as in free, as in at no cost to them, one of each of these items. Of course, they might like to purchase more for their wardrobe but that extra cost would have to be born by them. As for males, a suitable pair of blowup kayak pants could be developed for their supply and use.
Indeed as ever, hands reaching out across the water to our misfortunate colonials in The Americas, particularly New Orleans,we could also sent up not lend lease as they provided during our war ,but rather borrow rental during this period of their meteorological war.
Secret Squirrel,
MRL
Minister for Re-Deranged Re-Engineering.
.........................................
Floods
M.R.L. Flooding Solution
The government is in crisis, England is in crisis, England is flooding, and the government is England's crisis. Recent vents of flooding in Britain have touched me deeply, saddened me, disheartened me, having seen the vicious flooding in America's formerly Great City of New Orleans, and pondered the effects on the people of Britain. Indeed utter destruction was wrought in New Orleans, and was wrought in England as well.............no assistance was rendered, the people left to fend for themselves.
New Orleans was entirely the fault of a laggard American government, ignoring the pleas of the Mayor
and Citizenry alike, to expand,improve,shore up,renew and/or build new and more solid levees,quite simply, dyke structures. Britain's flooding is also the fault of a government laggard in it's behaviour, doing nothing to remedy the situation,the problems have continued to flood through governments past and present, as water through an American dyke. However there is engineering genius to be considered,British ingenuity, the adaptability of the British people in the face of adversity, all in the face of laggardly,inept, and ignorant governments which have allowed the problem to exist.
However, the problem can be solved quite easily with proper application of modern engineering techniques already existent.Indeed, I have THE solution.
It struck me quite plainly as I gazed on an amazing waterway,canal system, in Germany. I suddenly realized that one waterway crossed over the other, as a flyover, an overpass, one canal crossing above the other...............a canalway, in the sky, and in the ground. Well,here in Britain the idea will fly but the M.R.L. is more down to earth as are the engineering projects I endeavour to present. You see what needs be done is to live with both flood and non flood conditions. How? Well the German canal system is illustrative of this, it works, it's hardly leaking and collapsing as so many American unnecessary water canal projects do.Ours,however,is necessary. What we have to do, in each village and town, and interconnecting roadway, and within the towns, is to construct the roads themselves within walled dykes(I won't call the levees calling to mind the American travesty's of failed concrete walls). Now when it floods the water is contained within these canal roadways and channeled away when it's done, and back to dry road uses when it's gone. But how to live with this,how to maintain a dignified lifestyle? Well, quite simply it requires and adaptive change of lifestyle. All can be accommodated within any and all existent conditions, flood or no flood. Cars,vehicles, lorries, must now be of the amphibious type.
Recall the early amphicar,we all saw Branson's mucking about in one(no doubt a failed attempt to walk on water, the amphicar was as close as he could come).There are many varieties of such vehicles available. Look at the ingenious lorries the Cubans adapted to cross the sea to get to America. There are even yet amphi Recreational vehicles, allowing for caravan trips whilst in or out of flood conditions, indeed these can even be built as buses, for intercity, and in city transport of the population. Well now, we have accommodated transportation, business lorries, the common man's car, what of housing?
Well there are different approaches to actual housing for some may not prefer the amphi recreational bus vehicle. We can mount existing larger or smaller caravans, on barges(for those inclined to caravaning), and tether them to place,these will then rise and fall with the tide, or remain earthbound in event of non flood conditions,and so can still function as caravans in any and all conditions,allowing a waterworld,waterpark vacation in conditions of wet flood, and regular caravan camping in event of dry! Camp all around I should say! And,do! For those inclined to regular housing we can adapt as the Dutch have, with actual house type house boats, again tethering in place. What of larger edifices, well
the dying industry of cruise ships can be utilized and the ships transported to the flood areas and there they shall sit, or float depending on conditions,acting as buildings,apartments and whatever else form of other building is required.
Ah you say, what of air transit? Well, we do have, you know, existent, amphibious helicopters and yet aircraft of all types so each village can have it's own aerodrome-waterport, no problem there at all.
There, we have covered it all, solved it all, and easily with modern existent technology.Indeed the M.R.L. excels and revels in solving the problem which past and present governments have utterly failed at.The M.R.L. solution! Good for you! Good for us!
Secret Squirrel,
M.R.L.
Minister For Re-Deranged Re-Engineering.
............................................
MRL Proposal To Sell Ice To The Canadians.
What once used to be a joking phrase defining a certain kind of salesman may turn out to be prophetic, in my estimation when I achieved a monumentally profitable plot to sell ice to the Canadians, and so provide we in Britain with our fish and chips.
With the dwindling ice pack in the Arctic Ocean, the lives of Canadian Eskimos and polar bears are threatened by global warming.The Canadian government knows what they need.
What the Canadian Arctic needs is ice.But can they afford the real thing? Quite plainly it's
much too costly to set up ice making apparatus in the vicious environment of the Canadian
Northlands..........so if we are to turn a profit off of the Canadians and finally make the
colony pay, we must sell them an alternative which is much cheaper for us to manufacture.
I propose we form a company and start making artificial ice floes to place in the Arctic Ocean to give the polar bears platforms to hunt seals from.
We can make 4 foot thick Styrofoam sheets that look and function like real ice floes,which is much yet cheaper to a pondered proposal, that of using cheaper, but much more expensive than styrofoam, Brazilian wood(which would also save the rain forest and contribute to our reduction of Britain's environmental carbon footprint.)
So the Canadian Eskimoes are threatened because there are fewer polar bears, so we provide at a handsome profit the artificial ice flows such that the polar bears can sit on them, be threatened and hunted by the eskimoes who want to do that and require the polar bears for their sustainence, and the polar bears can threaten and hunt the seals, which the polar bears require for their sustainence, and so the reduced numbers of seals such that they do not consume the cod fish we require for our sustinance in Britain.
So we go in to mass production and sales to the Canadians of the artificial ice floes so we can save the polar bears,save the poor Canadian eskimoes, reduce the seal population and so save the cod fish we require for our fish and chips , all to the great applause of the world.
Secret Squirrel,
M.R.L.,
Minister For Re-Deranged Re-Engineering.
.........................................................
M.R.L. Farming Policy
Once again, out here on the hustings, it is time to expound my highly superior farming policy,
one which will without a doubt please our farmers, presently in a farming crisis of having to work so very hard
for so very little recompense, in the efforts of the British government to feed the French cheaply. Rather
I propose a method by which our farmers will work very little, if at all, and receive grand
recompense and live the good and proper farming life as was meant to be. Now ever onwards with my policy....................
One of the problems facing Britain today, is the crisis in farming, farmers feeling they're just not
getting enough profit for the hard work they put in to growing produce,
whilst others make massive profits and live the high life of not working etc. off of them.
Food,vegetables etc., cost to grow, costs time and effort in planting, costs for machinery to prepare the
field, to plant, to maintain, to cultivate,costs for the necessary farm machinery and maintaining such
machinery. Top it all off, the vast majority of the produce is sold to the Europeans, by the government,
and there sold to their people there, cheaply. Well traveling here in the colony of Canada,aptly named
so as the Germans refer to this location as being a hinter land. Here, in the area known as Quebec,
(translated from the French as "What A Beak"), I have discovered the secret to farming techniques which
require very little effort from the farmers,the Canadian method.
Indeed I was intrigued when I heard that a Registered Head Nurse,
had given up her career as a nurse, for the evidently much more lucrative occupation of farming, in short
she became what they call a fermier.But why? Why ever would she do that? So I journeyed out to the farmlands,
to visit her,la belle fermier...............err........study farming techniques.Well I rung her belle and had a look at the farm. Well longer story short, It seems that there, there's profit in it,if you're a fermier all round.
Yes! There's actually great profit in it. Indeed farming in the Quebec area of that colony, and quite probably
thence all over the colony as there must be federal equality in policy all round there even yet though it is a third world area.
All that it really requires to farm profitably there is a farm,an area of the usual size, but there the farming
techniques diverge from those of Britain.
Indeed, the farm requires only a a few heaps of what seem to be abandoned equipments of various
questionable nature, rusted and so forth, dilapidated, which are called farm machinery, but which in Britain pass
for a machine on the scrap heap due to be hauled off. Said fermier merely sits on the land,squats as it were , in the farm house,much as do squatters, but lives very much better, high on the hog(of which we never see any). On the farm itself,
there is much scrub to say the least,and unquestionably a lot of scrubbing in the off season, and grass of various heights, and there they grow............errr...............sit.....
the crops, the REAL crops..............................rocks.
Yes! Rocks! They farm rocks! For being possessed of said farm, the fermiers are paid by the
government,much as living off of the dole, there, or here, but certainly getting for more as such doled out to them
than there, and here for that matter, and all requiring no effort at all in the actual necessity of farming,
rocks, or otherwise, as they'll take care of themselves. Indeed there's yet more, fermiers have the ability
to increase their comfortable dole levels, by participating in certain government projects, that of NOT growing
certain things. For example, they can be paid NOT to grow wheat, or for that matter other crops. So their
land is divided in to certain fields, those not growing wheat,those not growing asparagus etc, and all the
while they can still cultivate the rocks, getting the currency for NOT growing certain crops as an added
extra. Of course, such a farm requires NO maintenance, no machinery costs of any kind(merely requires the
scrap heap with wheels on it). Now there's the solution to our farmers problems, merely adopting the farming
practice so very common to that very foreign colony!And so too, now, as shown by the belle fermier, our new applied
foreign farming techniques that will turn farming in to a Jolly All Round Good Show for our farmers!!!!!
Carry On Farming!
Secret Squirrel
M.R.L.
Minister For Re-Deranged Re-Engineering.
monster,raving,loony,party,floods,flooding,prevention,chunnel,canals,dykes,dikes,ice,sales,farming,farms
The M.R.L.Solving Britain's Flood Water Problems
Well now, what with the recent floodings, and re-floodings occurring now virtually and in reality every year, something should be done about it. But of course the incumbent government has been laggardly in dealing with the recurring situations. There is a solution to the problem, a sound engineering solution, based on sound hydrological engineering principles, the very sound principles set down by the Romans. It all works and will work, on the basis of the Roman knowledge of hydrology, namely that water follows the rule of law written in hydrology that water must flow downhill, unless it is arrested by a rise in the land. Now Britain is up at the top of the world, and extends downwards, quite rightly, and properly with France and the French beneath us.
What needs be done, is quite simply, starting at the top, we construct,in the earth of course, a long line drainage canal extending downwards, towards and collecting at Dover. Why collecting, well there will be several branch lines joining the main artery canal,all part of a drainage canal system
Now the Collector, as it is called, where the water will be disposed of, is quite properly the Chunnel, to which the storm water will the be directed in to, continuing on, ever following the legalities of the Laws Of Hydrology, flowing downwards, and emerging in France, where it will be a French problem for them to deal with.
You recall a previous engineering plan of allowing the sewage of Great Britain to be collected and directed in to the Chunnel? Well, there will be no problem there as the Chunnel can accommodate both the sewage flows and the storm water flows,as some area cities already do have and share a common sewage/sanitation/storm drain system, so too can that principle be applied here, rather than separate, saving the costs of building another Chunnel...........a Pence saved is a Pound earned, until the government takes your pence.
Ever onwards, the M.R.L. solves problems through sound engineering principles.No problem there.
Secret Squirrel,
M.R.L.,
Minister for Re-Deranged Re-Engineering.
......................................
Emergency MRL Flood Floatation Equipment
As floods occur, the local populace is always imperiled. No matter what, incumbent governments ignore the
problems, stating the waters will subside if one simply waits, and also that flooding won't occur again,such as occurred in the middle of England ......it does, point in fact ,but in the meanwhile the local populace,which is the people of England, suffer,worry, drown etc etc etc.
Indeed they suffered yet again,as well,in the city of New Orleans in the former colony of the Americas...........indeed 7inches of a rain storm, and the populace was once again waist deep in water. While the occurrence was suppressed in the Americas press, I made note of the fact and set my engineering skills to work. What needs be done? To assist the populace to float through such events,to enable them to empower them, to be able to weather a flood whenever it suddenly occurs,whether government acknowledges the flood occurring or not! Indeed how to deal with such a sudden event,how to be ever ready for such an event? Well, the best course of action is to wear devices such that the populace could ever be ready. Now wearing bulky life vests is on the ridiculous side, so we must turn our engineering expertness to the actual design of clothes themselves. Now, we usually have two forms of weather, mostly hot or extremely regularly warm, and a touch on the cooler side.
Well now I have discovered, there existent, a ready made solution for the female population, the bikini, the bikini with suitable inflatable water wing breasts! Indeed, this would benefit in terms of style as the female could have a larger set of bristols,zoomers or whatever they are referred to, and at the same time,in the event of a flood could maximally inflate such that they become life saving ,buoyant water wings...as is show in the accompanying picture.
For the cooler days, a dress could be worn, an inflatable dress,but not only inflatable, one that inflates into a full size kayak boat dress and so save the wearing much discomfort and worry during flood situations...again see the accompanying picture of the kayak dress as it could be used.Indeed we in the MRL would see to it, that every female in Britain would be provided,gratis, as in free, as in at no cost to them, one of each of these items. Of course, they might like to purchase more for their wardrobe but that extra cost would have to be born by them. As for males, a suitable pair of blowup kayak pants could be developed for their supply and use.
Indeed as ever, hands reaching out across the water to our misfortunate colonials in The Americas, particularly New Orleans,we could also sent up not lend lease as they provided during our war ,but rather borrow rental during this period of their meteorological war.
Secret Squirrel,
MRL
Minister for Re-Deranged Re-Engineering.
.........................................
Floods
M.R.L. Flooding Solution
The government is in crisis, England is in crisis, England is flooding, and the government is England's crisis. Recent vents of flooding in Britain have touched me deeply, saddened me, disheartened me, having seen the vicious flooding in America's formerly Great City of New Orleans, and pondered the effects on the people of Britain. Indeed utter destruction was wrought in New Orleans, and was wrought in England as well.............no assistance was rendered, the people left to fend for themselves.
New Orleans was entirely the fault of a laggard American government, ignoring the pleas of the Mayor
and Citizenry alike, to expand,improve,shore up,renew and/or build new and more solid levees,quite simply, dyke structures. Britain's flooding is also the fault of a government laggard in it's behaviour, doing nothing to remedy the situation,the problems have continued to flood through governments past and present, as water through an American dyke. However there is engineering genius to be considered,British ingenuity, the adaptability of the British people in the face of adversity, all in the face of laggardly,inept, and ignorant governments which have allowed the problem to exist.
However, the problem can be solved quite easily with proper application of modern engineering techniques already existent.Indeed, I have THE solution.
It struck me quite plainly as I gazed on an amazing waterway,canal system, in Germany. I suddenly realized that one waterway crossed over the other, as a flyover, an overpass, one canal crossing above the other...............a canalway, in the sky, and in the ground. Well,here in Britain the idea will fly but the M.R.L. is more down to earth as are the engineering projects I endeavour to present. You see what needs be done is to live with both flood and non flood conditions. How? Well the German canal system is illustrative of this, it works, it's hardly leaking and collapsing as so many American unnecessary water canal projects do.Ours,however,is necessary. What we have to do, in each village and town, and interconnecting roadway, and within the towns, is to construct the roads themselves within walled dykes(I won't call the levees calling to mind the American travesty's of failed concrete walls). Now when it floods the water is contained within these canal roadways and channeled away when it's done, and back to dry road uses when it's gone. But how to live with this,how to maintain a dignified lifestyle? Well, quite simply it requires and adaptive change of lifestyle. All can be accommodated within any and all existent conditions, flood or no flood. Cars,vehicles, lorries, must now be of the amphibious type.
Recall the early amphicar,we all saw Branson's mucking about in one(no doubt a failed attempt to walk on water, the amphicar was as close as he could come).There are many varieties of such vehicles available. Look at the ingenious lorries the Cubans adapted to cross the sea to get to America. There are even yet amphi Recreational vehicles, allowing for caravan trips whilst in or out of flood conditions, indeed these can even be built as buses, for intercity, and in city transport of the population. Well now, we have accommodated transportation, business lorries, the common man's car, what of housing?
Well there are different approaches to actual housing for some may not prefer the amphi recreational bus vehicle. We can mount existing larger or smaller caravans, on barges(for those inclined to caravaning), and tether them to place,these will then rise and fall with the tide, or remain earthbound in event of non flood conditions,and so can still function as caravans in any and all conditions,allowing a waterworld,waterpark vacation in conditions of wet flood, and regular caravan camping in event of dry! Camp all around I should say! And,do! For those inclined to regular housing we can adapt as the Dutch have, with actual house type house boats, again tethering in place. What of larger edifices, well
the dying industry of cruise ships can be utilized and the ships transported to the flood areas and there they shall sit, or float depending on conditions,acting as buildings,apartments and whatever else form of other building is required.
Ah you say, what of air transit? Well, we do have, you know, existent, amphibious helicopters and yet aircraft of all types so each village can have it's own aerodrome-waterport, no problem there at all.
There, we have covered it all, solved it all, and easily with modern existent technology.Indeed the M.R.L. excels and revels in solving the problem which past and present governments have utterly failed at.The M.R.L. solution! Good for you! Good for us!
Secret Squirrel,
M.R.L.
Minister For Re-Deranged Re-Engineering.
............................................
MRL Proposal To Sell Ice To The Canadians.
What once used to be a joking phrase defining a certain kind of salesman may turn out to be prophetic, in my estimation when I achieved a monumentally profitable plot to sell ice to the Canadians, and so provide we in Britain with our fish and chips.
With the dwindling ice pack in the Arctic Ocean, the lives of Canadian Eskimos and polar bears are threatened by global warming.The Canadian government knows what they need.
What the Canadian Arctic needs is ice.But can they afford the real thing? Quite plainly it's
much too costly to set up ice making apparatus in the vicious environment of the Canadian
Northlands..........so if we are to turn a profit off of the Canadians and finally make the
colony pay, we must sell them an alternative which is much cheaper for us to manufacture.
I propose we form a company and start making artificial ice floes to place in the Arctic Ocean to give the polar bears platforms to hunt seals from.
We can make 4 foot thick Styrofoam sheets that look and function like real ice floes,which is much yet cheaper to a pondered proposal, that of using cheaper, but much more expensive than styrofoam, Brazilian wood(which would also save the rain forest and contribute to our reduction of Britain's environmental carbon footprint.)
So the Canadian Eskimoes are threatened because there are fewer polar bears, so we provide at a handsome profit the artificial ice flows such that the polar bears can sit on them, be threatened and hunted by the eskimoes who want to do that and require the polar bears for their sustainence, and the polar bears can threaten and hunt the seals, which the polar bears require for their sustainence, and so the reduced numbers of seals such that they do not consume the cod fish we require for our sustinance in Britain.
So we go in to mass production and sales to the Canadians of the artificial ice floes so we can save the polar bears,save the poor Canadian eskimoes, reduce the seal population and so save the cod fish we require for our fish and chips , all to the great applause of the world.
Secret Squirrel,
M.R.L.,
Minister For Re-Deranged Re-Engineering.
.........................................................
M.R.L. Farming Policy
Once again, out here on the hustings, it is time to expound my highly superior farming policy,
one which will without a doubt please our farmers, presently in a farming crisis of having to work so very hard
for so very little recompense, in the efforts of the British government to feed the French cheaply. Rather
I propose a method by which our farmers will work very little, if at all, and receive grand
recompense and live the good and proper farming life as was meant to be. Now ever onwards with my policy....................
One of the problems facing Britain today, is the crisis in farming, farmers feeling they're just not
getting enough profit for the hard work they put in to growing produce,
whilst others make massive profits and live the high life of not working etc. off of them.
Food,vegetables etc., cost to grow, costs time and effort in planting, costs for machinery to prepare the
field, to plant, to maintain, to cultivate,costs for the necessary farm machinery and maintaining such
machinery. Top it all off, the vast majority of the produce is sold to the Europeans, by the government,
and there sold to their people there, cheaply. Well traveling here in the colony of Canada,aptly named
so as the Germans refer to this location as being a hinter land. Here, in the area known as Quebec,
(translated from the French as "What A Beak"), I have discovered the secret to farming techniques which
require very little effort from the farmers,the Canadian method.
Indeed I was intrigued when I heard that a Registered Head Nurse,
had given up her career as a nurse, for the evidently much more lucrative occupation of farming, in short
she became what they call a fermier.But why? Why ever would she do that? So I journeyed out to the farmlands,
to visit her,la belle fermier...............err........study farming techniques.Well I rung her belle and had a look at the farm. Well longer story short, It seems that there, there's profit in it,if you're a fermier all round.
Yes! There's actually great profit in it. Indeed farming in the Quebec area of that colony, and quite probably
thence all over the colony as there must be federal equality in policy all round there even yet though it is a third world area.
All that it really requires to farm profitably there is a farm,an area of the usual size, but there the farming
techniques diverge from those of Britain.
Indeed, the farm requires only a a few heaps of what seem to be abandoned equipments of various
questionable nature, rusted and so forth, dilapidated, which are called farm machinery, but which in Britain pass
for a machine on the scrap heap due to be hauled off. Said fermier merely sits on the land,squats as it were , in the farm house,much as do squatters, but lives very much better, high on the hog(of which we never see any). On the farm itself,
there is much scrub to say the least,and unquestionably a lot of scrubbing in the off season, and grass of various heights, and there they grow............errr...............sit.....
the crops, the REAL crops..............................rocks.
Yes! Rocks! They farm rocks! For being possessed of said farm, the fermiers are paid by the
government,much as living off of the dole, there, or here, but certainly getting for more as such doled out to them
than there, and here for that matter, and all requiring no effort at all in the actual necessity of farming,
rocks, or otherwise, as they'll take care of themselves. Indeed there's yet more, fermiers have the ability
to increase their comfortable dole levels, by participating in certain government projects, that of NOT growing
certain things. For example, they can be paid NOT to grow wheat, or for that matter other crops. So their
land is divided in to certain fields, those not growing wheat,those not growing asparagus etc, and all the
while they can still cultivate the rocks, getting the currency for NOT growing certain crops as an added
extra. Of course, such a farm requires NO maintenance, no machinery costs of any kind(merely requires the
scrap heap with wheels on it). Now there's the solution to our farmers problems, merely adopting the farming
practice so very common to that very foreign colony!And so too, now, as shown by the belle fermier, our new applied
foreign farming techniques that will turn farming in to a Jolly All Round Good Show for our farmers!!!!!
Carry On Farming!
Secret Squirrel
M.R.L.
Minister For Re-Deranged Re-Engineering.
Monday, March 8, 2010
Secret Squirrel,Your Better Interests At Heart
Keywords:
monster,raving,loony,party,agriculture,farms,farming,subsidies,ships,housing,houses,air,travel,floods, flooding,venice,subway,air,reconnaissance,recce,submarine,austerity
Ever does Secret Squirrel ponder socio-economic problems, ever does he wax pensive on matters of technology,the food supply,finances, defense and come up with the solutions required in the world of today!!
The MRL Dinner Gong Has Sounded.
It's time Britain move forward in the field of socio-economic agriculture. Certain other
"nations" have made great strides forwards and discoveries in this area. Regrettably,
Britain has lagged behind. However, visiting the colony of Canada, and the area of Europe
we call France I have made certain discoveries which must be applied to England.
With regards to France,a nation with a low power,low gear economy which possesses
little or next to none economic and agrarian knowledge,the present British government has
discovered that France has certain protected subsidies, which they simply refuse to give
up, in short, we're being shorted since France pays subsidies to farmers to grow certain
crops on tiny plots of land, making such tiny plots most admirably and attractively
profitable for very little work or actual produce.
With regards to the colony of Canada,a nation with no discernable economy what so ever,
it has been discovered that there the farmers there are actually being paid not to grow
produce, such as wheat, and then further paid to grow other produce in it's place.
What needs be done in Britain, is not to complain about this, but actually to apply
these systems to Britain and British farmers. Think of it, we could pay an old
granny in Picadilly Circus not to grow wheat, and to then pay her to grow an
asparagus or two in a planter making her a highly successful British farmer.
M.R.L.
Secret Squirrel,
Minister of Re-Deranged Re-Engineering.
****************************************************
Here's yet another idea for the use of ships to solve Britain's problems, here the housing problems
(for the M.R.L. election campaign(the Japanese refer to it as an erection campaign,so do British politicians, but we in the MRL don't require Viagra to get erected, Horney Goat Weed will do nicely thank-you.............)
MRL Solving the Housing Crisis
Britain is in the midst of a great housing crisis. Indeed many young people
are emerging from schools in huge numbers to find they've no jobs, are on
the dole (a really prickly pineapple that), and have no suitable housing
available.There is a solution to all problems, indeed a new form of welfare
council condominium housing must be applied, one which even yet can easily
supply watersport exercise and entertainments to keep them amused coupled with
a cruise ship atmos to keep them all happy and contented. All that must
be done is that shipping containers be converted in to bachelor flats! Of course these
containers would be housed on suitable large shipping container ships. Imagine,
huge sea going apartment condominiums! Further there's the advantage of having
the unemployed safely out of sight, rather than wandering the streets in
immense numbers as they do in Sweden! Further reducing the costs to Her
Majesty,each ship would require but one council to run things, thus further
reducing costs!Why even for when the dole vacation time rolls around, the vessels
could depart to tour the Dardanelles! Ha you say...what of sanitation facilities? Well
they would have the most modern of conveniences, and most easily maintained as well,
they could simply go off over the side...all problems solved!!
A Jolly Good Show All Round!
Secret Squirrel.
MRL,
Minister For Re-Deranged Re-Engineering.
*******************************************************************************
Ever does the juggernaut of the M.R.L. campaign continue..................ever does the battle for the hearts and minds of the British people continue....................unbowed I continue with my major engineering and social policies which will change the face of Britain,improve the lives and lifestyle of the British people.......................all with an air of austerity and the environment in mind.
Now we must turn our attention to the ever rising costs of air travel, and the expense it entails, and major and ever increasing loss of time and convenience for the air traveling public....here a proposal which the Great H.G. Wells would've been proud of and written of had he the engineering acumen to have achieved this grand concept.
MRL On Air Travel Improvements
Air travel nowadays entails great expense in time, boarding the aircraft etc, and of course, in time on landing, debarking,collecting luggage, finally getting to ones actual destination etc. Immediately this plan will remove the problem of the landing and post landing rituals, and the inconvenience of not actually landing at the intended destination.
Expressly the great cargo door of the airliners will be utilized, or,failing that, the embarking debarking doors will just have to do.
The passengers will board the plane, with their luggage in hand(already we have dispensed with the great inconvenience of the airlines losing ones luggage of it arriving at another destination, unintended of course). The airliner will fly over and in vicinity of the intended destination. The passenger, with luggage in hand will then jump out of the airliner and deploy a paraglide chute. This will permit the passenger to land exactly at his intended destination,complete with luggage! The airliner will then return to its starting point having avoided landing fees, extended fuel costs etc etc etc. A general saving all round!
Huzzah!Huzzah!Huzzah! And will the Scottish bagpipers,French accordion players, and American harmonica players please cease with their....................................errr....................serenade of good wishes.
Secret Squirrel,
M.R.L.
Minister Of Re-Deranged Re-Engineering.
**********************************************************************************
Aha! I have yet another project to benefit the people of Liverpool, and hence, also, therefor England of whom they are a part, if not the heart of. Whilst Liverpool had The Beatles, it seems this occurrence has increased interest in that city and hence the greater interest of my M.R.L. campaign, which is good for Liverpool, better for England. Yet again I have another engineering proposal which shall go forward on my successful election write-in campaign..........................
Liverpool.....The New Venice Of Britain.
Liverpool has a remnant of an interesting transportation system, one which has worked successfully on a grand scale in America, the elevated tram system. Now what is proposed is proposed in the light of modern times, one which will unquestionably please the greens and Britain and the City of Liverpool who is the recipient of this proposal. Of course, I shall run a foul of the electric works and oil companies whom will loose out but hope they will not throw a spanner in to the works of my campaign. What I [propose combines old and new technologies. It is proposed to extend the existing structures, safely above the levels of the streets where it will be out of the way of pedestrians and those who commute by other means. Now, the tub structure surrounding the tramway, the "roadway" as it were, will be filled with water, creating elevated canals throughout Liverpool, making it truly the Venice of England! Traveling those waterways, in similar fashion to the condolers of Venice, we will use rowboats as a form of water taxis. But wait! It gets only better. There will be no tax, no taxi meter,nay the public transit will be free and will truly not cost the British taxpayer anything at all. To row these fine British built rowboats, we will import numbers of French welfare cases. These will be employed to row said mentioned boats. Now employed, in the context of the French the term employed is a misnomer, since most are on welfare, the dole, and enjoy that condition. That condition shall be maintained,quite easily by seeing to it that France continues their dole whilst they row us round and about Liverpool, thus the British taxpayer will be spared any sundry expenses, the Frenchman won't actually be working, and Liverpool will be provided with a free form of public transit, which also will please the Green People. Further, as a form of further inducement for the Greens of Britain, the canals will be lined with lampposts for night service
(which will please the electric works), and we shall hang flower planters from each lamp post!
Generally a jolly good show all round!
Secret Squirrel,
M.R.L.
Minister For Re-Deranged Re-Engineering.
***************************************************************************
MRL Subway Plans For Liverpool
In keeping with election policies, intent on the M.R.L. winning the election, one must sweeten the pot, cuddle up to the electorate, woo the electorate and so we have an interesting project for the City of Liverpool,the addition of a subway. Interestingly it is proposed that we make use of the ancient system of tunnels, built by Joeseph Williamson beneath the streets of Liverpool in the 1800's,his legacy to the people of Liverpool will be fully realized.There, in the tunnels, we will make use of small tracks and electric trains such as are found at pier and fair grounds. They can, after all, do the job and are of convenient size and can easily have cars and engines manufactured in Britain itself, born out of entirely British technology! All will be combined to provide the City Of Liverpool with a modern up to date underground system!
Secret Squirrel,
M.R.L.
Minister of Re-Deranged Re-Engineering
**************************************************************************
An MRL Reconnaissance In To The Future
The age of austerity has hit the British military, sadly, unable to afford even the unmanned recce craft the Americans use, allowed to slide in to such a delapidated condition that Britain is unable even yet to design and build such a craft. A cheap solution is,however at hand, combining older technology and the much newer technology as well. The military could buy up all the existent Circus Canons,used, and these could be transported as needed to trouble spots where recce is required. There the canon could be trucked up to a site suitably near the suspected front, a brave lad shot out of the canon in to the air in the same fashion the circus performers were, but with a modern addition that will transform him in to the most modern recce vehicle known to the British military, a para glide chute will deploy, making him agile and mobile, and he will carry aloft, a modern digital camera, 1 gigabyte memory of course(nothing but the best). Problem solved. Of course this all revolves on the M.R.L. being elected in the next election, but we wisely leave this up to those of the superior intellect who will vote M.R.L. this coming election.We can also revive the ancient idea of armed reconnaissance, balloons and blunderbuses.
Secret Squirrel,
M.R.L.
Minister for Re-Deranged Re-Engineering.
****************************************************************
MRL Technological Engineering Applications Applied For The Day........
Introducing the pedal power submarine
Unquestionably influenced heavily by Secret Squirrel's plans to modernize and upgrade Britain's Navy as the British government is set on reducing the Navy to almost nothing due to austerity, a group of enterprising British lads have come up with a cheap solution to the rapidly developing government generated crisis in the submarine secret service of Her Majesty's Royal Navy(the government probably not wishing Her to have one)..............so...........
A team of university boffins have designed Britain's first human-powered submarine. The 10ft-long vessel carries one "pilot" who pedals a contraption similar to an exercise bike, reaching speeds of more than three knots (3.5mph).
The 10ft-long vessel carries one "pilot" who pedals a contraption similar to an exercise bike
The SeaBomb, was designed and built by a team of final-year engineering undergraduates from Bath University as their degree project. Without a doubt this reaches back, with our backsides to the future, to the days of the Confederate Navy of the DisUnited States of America, and their crank powered submarine program.
We note the term sea bomb, and we note recent statements made by a certain British Air Force officer...........one Air Vice Marshall David (henceforth known also as KAMAKAZI) Walker.
Elite fliers were shocked into silence when a senior RAF chief said they should consider suicide missions as a last resort against terrorist targets.No doubt a government austerity measure to save shells,bombs, and helmets.
Air Vice Marshal David Walker put forward the attacks — like those flown by desperate Japanese pilots in World War Two — as a “worst case scenario” should they run out of ammo or their weapons failed. We do note a similarity in design of the submersible to the Japanese suicide one man torpedoes.But let me assure you whilst the MRL will apply this technology to upgrade Her Majesty's Royal Navy, we will most definitely not have a kamakazi corps.
Now we must apply this technological advancement properly, adding, perhaps, sling shot type aqua spear guns with a grenade attached for underwater attacks, and, when on the surface, the crewman can throw things at the enemy. Ever onwards with applied technology of the day,ever forwards, we Labour onwards, with our backsides to the future.
Secret Squirrel,
MRL,
Minister For Re-Deranged Re-Engineering.
.......................................
Of course that certain time is upon us all, election time, and those of us out on the hustings have our policies to present.
Here is yet another of my policies presented for the people of Britain to consier, a policy, as are all of mine, aimed at improvement of the general situation of the British people, improving their quality of life and transport, and providing construction jobs as well for the British worker! Of course my campaign itself is frugal in nature, as will be my tenure in government, relying on the electorate to include myself on the ballot, as M.R.L.(where no other M.R.L. candidate is presented) as a selected write-in candidate! Consider please............................
MRL Transatlantic Cruise Submarine Railroads
One of the great problems of transatlantic crossing has been comfort, airplanes are decidedly uncomfortable, and cold in the crossing, and nowadays take so much time to board what with security issues etc raised by recent middle eastern events. Ships are much better, but, misfortunately they are excruciatingly slow,rather like being exciled for a bit.
However,things can be speeded up grandly and in comfortable fashion. All that we have to do, is construct on the ocean floor, a double tracked rail line,between Portsmouth and New York. We now convert some of Her Majesty's surplus and stored nuclear submarines to a comfortable cruise ship status. We then attach rail trucks to the submarine cruise vessels, and run them at nuclear submarine speed back and forth across the Atlantic!
Secret Squirrel,
M.R.L.
Minister of Re-Deranged Re-Engineering
****************************************************************
here is one of my M.R.L. ideas to improve shipping, and improve the midlands economy by bringing in greater tourist dollars......................
MRL,Shaping Things Up, And Shipping Out
A great difficulty has been the fact there there just is no canal crossing England
in similar fashion to that running across Scotland.However all can be easily solved.
All that remains is for a project to be undertaken to construct a suitable twin tracked
railroad across England,from Liverpool, to the vicinity of Hull, on the other side.
Ha you say, railroads will never replace the ship. Of course, and you're quite right
as are Britain's great Naval Architects. Indeed what is here proposed, is that the ships,
will actually be pulled on to huge suitable flat cars at Liverpool and so transit across
England to again enter the water at Hull (vice versa for the return journey.).Such a
rail ship combination would be many times more efficient than the present Scottish canal
transit as the ships are limited there to 5 miles an hour, thus making the journey in
24 hours.Using the Liverpool Hull route, the ships could transit at rail speed,
as much as 60 miles per hour, making the trip in less than two hours. Of course
a standard ship transit between Liverpool and Hull would and does take 7 full days!
Indeed, what is even yet possible is that cruise ships could make use of the line,
with suitable rail siding docking facilities in some towns along the way, thus bringing
valuable cruise ship tourism to the heartland of Britain!
Secret Squirrel,
MRL,
Minister For Re-Deranged Re-Engineering
***************************************************************
monster,raving,loony,party,agriculture,farms,farming,subsidies,ships,housing,houses,air,travel,floods, flooding,venice,subway,air,reconnaissance,recce,submarine,austerity
Ever does Secret Squirrel ponder socio-economic problems, ever does he wax pensive on matters of technology,the food supply,finances, defense and come up with the solutions required in the world of today!!
The MRL Dinner Gong Has Sounded.
It's time Britain move forward in the field of socio-economic agriculture. Certain other
"nations" have made great strides forwards and discoveries in this area. Regrettably,
Britain has lagged behind. However, visiting the colony of Canada, and the area of Europe
we call France I have made certain discoveries which must be applied to England.
With regards to France,a nation with a low power,low gear economy which possesses
little or next to none economic and agrarian knowledge,the present British government has
discovered that France has certain protected subsidies, which they simply refuse to give
up, in short, we're being shorted since France pays subsidies to farmers to grow certain
crops on tiny plots of land, making such tiny plots most admirably and attractively
profitable for very little work or actual produce.
With regards to the colony of Canada,a nation with no discernable economy what so ever,
it has been discovered that there the farmers there are actually being paid not to grow
produce, such as wheat, and then further paid to grow other produce in it's place.
What needs be done in Britain, is not to complain about this, but actually to apply
these systems to Britain and British farmers. Think of it, we could pay an old
granny in Picadilly Circus not to grow wheat, and to then pay her to grow an
asparagus or two in a planter making her a highly successful British farmer.
M.R.L.
Secret Squirrel,
Minister of Re-Deranged Re-Engineering.
****************************************************
Here's yet another idea for the use of ships to solve Britain's problems, here the housing problems
(for the M.R.L. election campaign(the Japanese refer to it as an erection campaign,so do British politicians, but we in the MRL don't require Viagra to get erected, Horney Goat Weed will do nicely thank-you.............)
MRL Solving the Housing Crisis
Britain is in the midst of a great housing crisis. Indeed many young people
are emerging from schools in huge numbers to find they've no jobs, are on
the dole (a really prickly pineapple that), and have no suitable housing
available.There is a solution to all problems, indeed a new form of welfare
council condominium housing must be applied, one which even yet can easily
supply watersport exercise and entertainments to keep them amused coupled with
a cruise ship atmos to keep them all happy and contented. All that must
be done is that shipping containers be converted in to bachelor flats! Of course these
containers would be housed on suitable large shipping container ships. Imagine,
huge sea going apartment condominiums! Further there's the advantage of having
the unemployed safely out of sight, rather than wandering the streets in
immense numbers as they do in Sweden! Further reducing the costs to Her
Majesty,each ship would require but one council to run things, thus further
reducing costs!Why even for when the dole vacation time rolls around, the vessels
could depart to tour the Dardanelles! Ha you say...what of sanitation facilities? Well
they would have the most modern of conveniences, and most easily maintained as well,
they could simply go off over the side...all problems solved!!
A Jolly Good Show All Round!
Secret Squirrel.
MRL,
Minister For Re-Deranged Re-Engineering.
*******************************************************************************
Ever does the juggernaut of the M.R.L. campaign continue..................ever does the battle for the hearts and minds of the British people continue....................unbowed I continue with my major engineering and social policies which will change the face of Britain,improve the lives and lifestyle of the British people.......................all with an air of austerity and the environment in mind.
Now we must turn our attention to the ever rising costs of air travel, and the expense it entails, and major and ever increasing loss of time and convenience for the air traveling public....here a proposal which the Great H.G. Wells would've been proud of and written of had he the engineering acumen to have achieved this grand concept.
MRL On Air Travel Improvements
Air travel nowadays entails great expense in time, boarding the aircraft etc, and of course, in time on landing, debarking,collecting luggage, finally getting to ones actual destination etc. Immediately this plan will remove the problem of the landing and post landing rituals, and the inconvenience of not actually landing at the intended destination.
Expressly the great cargo door of the airliners will be utilized, or,failing that, the embarking debarking doors will just have to do.
The passengers will board the plane, with their luggage in hand(already we have dispensed with the great inconvenience of the airlines losing ones luggage of it arriving at another destination, unintended of course). The airliner will fly over and in vicinity of the intended destination. The passenger, with luggage in hand will then jump out of the airliner and deploy a paraglide chute. This will permit the passenger to land exactly at his intended destination,complete with luggage! The airliner will then return to its starting point having avoided landing fees, extended fuel costs etc etc etc. A general saving all round!
Huzzah!Huzzah!Huzzah! And will the Scottish bagpipers,French accordion players, and American harmonica players please cease with their....................................errr....................serenade of good wishes.
Secret Squirrel,
M.R.L.
Minister Of Re-Deranged Re-Engineering.
**********************************************************************************
Aha! I have yet another project to benefit the people of Liverpool, and hence, also, therefor England of whom they are a part, if not the heart of. Whilst Liverpool had The Beatles, it seems this occurrence has increased interest in that city and hence the greater interest of my M.R.L. campaign, which is good for Liverpool, better for England. Yet again I have another engineering proposal which shall go forward on my successful election write-in campaign..........................
Liverpool.....The New Venice Of Britain.
Liverpool has a remnant of an interesting transportation system, one which has worked successfully on a grand scale in America, the elevated tram system. Now what is proposed is proposed in the light of modern times, one which will unquestionably please the greens and Britain and the City of Liverpool who is the recipient of this proposal. Of course, I shall run a foul of the electric works and oil companies whom will loose out but hope they will not throw a spanner in to the works of my campaign. What I [propose combines old and new technologies. It is proposed to extend the existing structures, safely above the levels of the streets where it will be out of the way of pedestrians and those who commute by other means. Now, the tub structure surrounding the tramway, the "roadway" as it were, will be filled with water, creating elevated canals throughout Liverpool, making it truly the Venice of England! Traveling those waterways, in similar fashion to the condolers of Venice, we will use rowboats as a form of water taxis. But wait! It gets only better. There will be no tax, no taxi meter,nay the public transit will be free and will truly not cost the British taxpayer anything at all. To row these fine British built rowboats, we will import numbers of French welfare cases. These will be employed to row said mentioned boats. Now employed, in the context of the French the term employed is a misnomer, since most are on welfare, the dole, and enjoy that condition. That condition shall be maintained,quite easily by seeing to it that France continues their dole whilst they row us round and about Liverpool, thus the British taxpayer will be spared any sundry expenses, the Frenchman won't actually be working, and Liverpool will be provided with a free form of public transit, which also will please the Green People. Further, as a form of further inducement for the Greens of Britain, the canals will be lined with lampposts for night service
(which will please the electric works), and we shall hang flower planters from each lamp post!
Generally a jolly good show all round!
Secret Squirrel,
M.R.L.
Minister For Re-Deranged Re-Engineering.
***************************************************************************
MRL Subway Plans For Liverpool
In keeping with election policies, intent on the M.R.L. winning the election, one must sweeten the pot, cuddle up to the electorate, woo the electorate and so we have an interesting project for the City of Liverpool,the addition of a subway. Interestingly it is proposed that we make use of the ancient system of tunnels, built by Joeseph Williamson beneath the streets of Liverpool in the 1800's,his legacy to the people of Liverpool will be fully realized.There, in the tunnels, we will make use of small tracks and electric trains such as are found at pier and fair grounds. They can, after all, do the job and are of convenient size and can easily have cars and engines manufactured in Britain itself, born out of entirely British technology! All will be combined to provide the City Of Liverpool with a modern up to date underground system!
Secret Squirrel,
M.R.L.
Minister of Re-Deranged Re-Engineering
**************************************************************************
An MRL Reconnaissance In To The Future
The age of austerity has hit the British military, sadly, unable to afford even the unmanned recce craft the Americans use, allowed to slide in to such a delapidated condition that Britain is unable even yet to design and build such a craft. A cheap solution is,however at hand, combining older technology and the much newer technology as well. The military could buy up all the existent Circus Canons,used, and these could be transported as needed to trouble spots where recce is required. There the canon could be trucked up to a site suitably near the suspected front, a brave lad shot out of the canon in to the air in the same fashion the circus performers were, but with a modern addition that will transform him in to the most modern recce vehicle known to the British military, a para glide chute will deploy, making him agile and mobile, and he will carry aloft, a modern digital camera, 1 gigabyte memory of course(nothing but the best). Problem solved. Of course this all revolves on the M.R.L. being elected in the next election, but we wisely leave this up to those of the superior intellect who will vote M.R.L. this coming election.We can also revive the ancient idea of armed reconnaissance, balloons and blunderbuses.
Secret Squirrel,
M.R.L.
Minister for Re-Deranged Re-Engineering.
****************************************************************
MRL Technological Engineering Applications Applied For The Day........
Introducing the pedal power submarine
Unquestionably influenced heavily by Secret Squirrel's plans to modernize and upgrade Britain's Navy as the British government is set on reducing the Navy to almost nothing due to austerity, a group of enterprising British lads have come up with a cheap solution to the rapidly developing government generated crisis in the submarine secret service of Her Majesty's Royal Navy(the government probably not wishing Her to have one)..............so...........
A team of university boffins have designed Britain's first human-powered submarine. The 10ft-long vessel carries one "pilot" who pedals a contraption similar to an exercise bike, reaching speeds of more than three knots (3.5mph).
The 10ft-long vessel carries one "pilot" who pedals a contraption similar to an exercise bike
The SeaBomb, was designed and built by a team of final-year engineering undergraduates from Bath University as their degree project. Without a doubt this reaches back, with our backsides to the future, to the days of the Confederate Navy of the DisUnited States of America, and their crank powered submarine program.
We note the term sea bomb, and we note recent statements made by a certain British Air Force officer...........one Air Vice Marshall David (henceforth known also as KAMAKAZI) Walker.
Elite fliers were shocked into silence when a senior RAF chief said they should consider suicide missions as a last resort against terrorist targets.No doubt a government austerity measure to save shells,bombs, and helmets.
Air Vice Marshal David Walker put forward the attacks — like those flown by desperate Japanese pilots in World War Two — as a “worst case scenario” should they run out of ammo or their weapons failed. We do note a similarity in design of the submersible to the Japanese suicide one man torpedoes.But let me assure you whilst the MRL will apply this technology to upgrade Her Majesty's Royal Navy, we will most definitely not have a kamakazi corps.
Now we must apply this technological advancement properly, adding, perhaps, sling shot type aqua spear guns with a grenade attached for underwater attacks, and, when on the surface, the crewman can throw things at the enemy. Ever onwards with applied technology of the day,ever forwards, we Labour onwards, with our backsides to the future.
Secret Squirrel,
MRL,
Minister For Re-Deranged Re-Engineering.
.......................................
Of course that certain time is upon us all, election time, and those of us out on the hustings have our policies to present.
Here is yet another of my policies presented for the people of Britain to consier, a policy, as are all of mine, aimed at improvement of the general situation of the British people, improving their quality of life and transport, and providing construction jobs as well for the British worker! Of course my campaign itself is frugal in nature, as will be my tenure in government, relying on the electorate to include myself on the ballot, as M.R.L.(where no other M.R.L. candidate is presented) as a selected write-in candidate! Consider please............................
MRL Transatlantic Cruise Submarine Railroads
One of the great problems of transatlantic crossing has been comfort, airplanes are decidedly uncomfortable, and cold in the crossing, and nowadays take so much time to board what with security issues etc raised by recent middle eastern events. Ships are much better, but, misfortunately they are excruciatingly slow,rather like being exciled for a bit.
However,things can be speeded up grandly and in comfortable fashion. All that we have to do, is construct on the ocean floor, a double tracked rail line,between Portsmouth and New York. We now convert some of Her Majesty's surplus and stored nuclear submarines to a comfortable cruise ship status. We then attach rail trucks to the submarine cruise vessels, and run them at nuclear submarine speed back and forth across the Atlantic!
Secret Squirrel,
M.R.L.
Minister of Re-Deranged Re-Engineering
****************************************************************
here is one of my M.R.L. ideas to improve shipping, and improve the midlands economy by bringing in greater tourist dollars......................
MRL,Shaping Things Up, And Shipping Out
A great difficulty has been the fact there there just is no canal crossing England
in similar fashion to that running across Scotland.However all can be easily solved.
All that remains is for a project to be undertaken to construct a suitable twin tracked
railroad across England,from Liverpool, to the vicinity of Hull, on the other side.
Ha you say, railroads will never replace the ship. Of course, and you're quite right
as are Britain's great Naval Architects. Indeed what is here proposed, is that the ships,
will actually be pulled on to huge suitable flat cars at Liverpool and so transit across
England to again enter the water at Hull (vice versa for the return journey.).Such a
rail ship combination would be many times more efficient than the present Scottish canal
transit as the ships are limited there to 5 miles an hour, thus making the journey in
24 hours.Using the Liverpool Hull route, the ships could transit at rail speed,
as much as 60 miles per hour, making the trip in less than two hours. Of course
a standard ship transit between Liverpool and Hull would and does take 7 full days!
Indeed, what is even yet possible is that cruise ships could make use of the line,
with suitable rail siding docking facilities in some towns along the way, thus bringing
valuable cruise ship tourism to the heartland of Britain!
Secret Squirrel,
MRL,
Minister For Re-Deranged Re-Engineering
***************************************************************
Sunday, March 7, 2010
Secret Squirrel,Ever Onwards To Improve The World
Keywords:
intelligent,weapons,war,habakkuk,aircraft,carrier,ice,olympics,rings,ships,cement,transportation,floods,canals,bridge,wall,garbage,disposal,farming
Secret Squirrel, of the MRL,Monster Raving Loony Party, his hopes,his dreams,his plans,his engineering designs,his plans for the national defense,plans in the food and farming sector,his financial plans for the good and the betterment of the people of England, Britain, and the World.....what's good for secret Squirrel is good for you, and everything he plans is good for you.......he has good intentions, remember, the road to hell is paved with good intentions.
M.R.L. Manned Intelligent Weapons Delivery System
In view of recent austerity measures taken with respect to the armed forces, I have turned my attention to attempting to alleviate the problem somewhat. Here we see a development of my manned intelligent weapons delivery system. What we do is utilize the intelligence, of man, in this case,the airman, Basically he's suspended by a detachable harness to the wing ordinance pylon, in short, he's the actual delivery system...........much cheaper than missile development.
The Japanese were the first developing an intelligent guidance system for aircraft bombs,however, theirs were of the expendable variety, the so called Kamakazi,who were expended along with the bomb delivery vehicle.It was known as a Baka bomb system,as well, which is Japanese for Idiot Bomb,which they had to be to take such a job. Their system failed basically in the delivery,many times, basically due to the lack of intelligence for those who signed up for that particular job,and also in the fact that their intelligent airman expired when so employed.This was and is considered to be highly detrimental in future recruitment.
Ours is an offshoot of the first system,however, no harm actually comes to the airman,which no doubt will please British airmen, and also increase recruitment. In our system, the British airman is re-loadable and reusable.Note the extreme flexibility this system offers, along with the abilities to intelligently direct and deliver fire towards the enemy with a multitude of weapons available to be used. Here the airman is shown holding a simple automatic pistol,such as one sees used to such great effect in U.S. schools. Of course said stated automatic pistol could be replaced by an automatic rifle, or say fully automatic machine gun. The system could also use and carry and drop grenades intelligently on target,properly aimed. Further flexibility is available through the airman equipped use of an R.P.G. type of weapon.
Of course what with recent remarks made by Air Vice Marshall "Kamakazi" Walker,obviously deeply influenced by the Japanese Kamakazi Corps, has mentioned the possibility of suicide missions being flown against Taliban or other terror groups,by our present British air forces. He's obviously also seen the ridiculous unintelligent side of intelligent bombs and delivery systems etc, but has gone a touch Baka suggesting that the airman should intelligently guide the bombs to the target, and then see to it,personally,that the bomb etc crashes in to it's target,dashing themselves to pieces. One assumes that should government not be in our hands, and our system developed,that the Air Vice Marshall might order the weapons carrier airman also dropped on an enemy target,misfortunately. Of course, as the system development experiments continue and the system takes form to a fully operational working intelligent weapons system, one hopes that by then the M.R.L. would have achieved government, and so too, no doubt does our weapons system itself.
Secret Squirrel,
M.R.L.
Minister For Re-Deranged Re-Engineering.
.....................................
MRL Revives The Secretly Abandoned Project Habakkuk
Project Habakkuk
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Project_Habakkuk
Project Habakkuk or Habbakuk (spelling varies; see below) was a plan by the British in World War II to construct an aircraft carrier out of pykrete (a mixture of wood pulp and ice), for use against German U-boats in the mid-Atlantic, which was out of range of land-based planes.
And .......................
http://www.royalnavalmuseum.org/info_sheets_Habbakkuk.htm
The Habbakuk Project
HABBAKUK: GEOFFREY PYKE'S ICEBERG AIRCRAFT CARRIER
In 1942, the Allied forces were losing a considerable amount of merchant shipping in the Atlantic Ocean, due to German submarine forces and the lack of adequate air cover in the mid-Atlantic. The range of operating aircraft was not sufficient to cover this area and aircraft carriers were in short supply to allow for shorter range flying. Plans for an Allied invasion of Europe were also underway and it was felt that large floating platforms were needed to assist the assault forces. The Second World War was also a time when many scientists were encouraged to develop weapon technology and other military equipment to assist the war effort. Many projects that were developed were successful, such as the bouncing bomb by Barnes Wallis, midget submarines, mulberry harbours and the Pipe Line Under The Ocean (PLUTO) project. Others were not so successful and some were even incredible.
And so onwards, backwards......................
We in the MRL have seen the deterioration in numbers of Britain's Navy, particularly the miniaturization of the carrier fleets to those of midget ships amongst the giants of the seas,said to be an act of austerity, lacks of funds, or simply because who really wants a ship built by the french(there are limits to what we can ask our sailors to serve on)....we, however, have a solution to this problem
A Project Hubbakuk
Misfortunately, nowadays, Her Majesty's Royal Navy is falling on hard times,
budgets and things, but basicly polite for bankrupt,even yet ghost broke
as even the great Naval ancestors shake their heads and walk away from it all.
However, there is a solution to the crisis, specificly the crisis of being
unable to afford aircraft carriers.The answer is hidden in the records of
Whitehall, secret documents hidden from sight of a project planned to be
undertaken, that of the Project Hubbakuk. Indeed this secret project
involved taking a large arctic ice flow, placing on it refrigeration equipment
to maintain it's integrity, and propulsion equipment to steer it about.
This ice flow was to be used as a floating airfield for Their Majesty's aircraft!
One recalls Hitler having a great fear of the project, most notably telling Churchill
each time Churchill met with him to complain about the goings on in Europe,
"Don't make a big Hubbakuk." All that remains is for the project to be pulled from
the limbo of the hidden war document filing cabinets and undertaken.
Make a great hubbakuk.
Secret Squirrel,
MRL,
Minister For Re-Deranged Re-Engineering.
..................................................
An Olympian Task For Britain.
From the Olympic Charter
Art. 12: Olympic Symbol
1 The Olympic symbol consists of the five Olympic rings used alone, in one or in several colours.
2 The five colours of the rings are mandatorily blue, yellow, black, green and red. The rings are interlaced from left to right. The blue, black and red rings are situated at the top, the yellow and green rings at the bottom. The
whole approximately forms a regular trapezium, the shorter of the parallel sides forming the base, according to the official design deposited at the IOC headquarters and (reproduced) below.
3 The Olympic symbol represents the union of the five continents and the meeting of athletes from throughout the world at the Olympic Games.
I propose to engineer an Olympic Movement in Britain to have Britain declared as a continent, and so have it's own Olympic Ring, the missing Sixth Ring.Presently all Britain is considered to be In-Continent.
It is to be pointed out, that North and South America are considered separate, and continents, yet they are joined, merely severed by the man-made Panama Canal...does this really count then as separate,yet they have a ring each.
Similarly, Africa is not separate from Europe-Asia except by the man-made Suez Canal, which hardly counts, and so three rings represent what really should merely be one.Europe and Asia are not separate at all,but entirely joined, and also as before, joined with Africa as well.
Australia is there large and looming, and entirely by itself and so legitimately has it's own ring.
But all things considered, has Britain not been shunned? Should Britain not have it's own legitimate Olympic Ring.
Logic dictates so. Definitely what with the next Olympics being in Britain, and Britain bearing the ever increasing huge Olympian cost,Britain should get something in return. Britons must take up the cause and petition for our own Olympic Ring! We are a continent, a separate Island continent. Indeed we must cease this intolerant and intolerable Olympic In-Continence which Britain suffers from.
Secret Squirrel,
MRL,
Minister for Re-Deranged Re-Engineering
..............................................................
Floating Ideas
In 1917 and 1918 British builders constructed barges, tugs and fishing boats using concrete. The Americans were more ambitious, commissioning a fleet of 12 ocean-going concrete freighters costing 50 million dollars.
The concrete ships that were built followed the design of steel ships of that era, but required much thicker hulls to get the same amount of strength that the steel gave. A newly-developed form of concrete that included portland cement was used because it was relatively light (Only 120 pounds per cubic foot). Even so, the ships were much heavier than steel ships. The ship builders also found that concrete was much more difficult to manipulate than steel, making the ships more difficult to construct. The oldest known ferro-cement ship was a dingy built by Joseph Louis Lambot in Southern France in the year 1848. The boat was featured in the 1855 World's Fair held in France. An Italian engineer, Carlo Gabellini, built barges and small ships out of ferro-cement in the 1890s.1910s saw the building of several ferro-cement ships in UK. One of these ships, the Violette, was built in 1917 and is currently used as a boating clubhouse on the River Medway in England. This makes her the oldest ferro-cement ship still
afloat.On August 2, 1917, N.K. Fougner of Norway launched the first ocean-going ferro-cement ship, an 84-foot long boat named Namsenfjord. With the success of the ship, several more small ferro-cement vessels were built.World War II led to shortages in steel supply. In 1942, the U.S. government contracted McCloskey & Company of Philadelphia, Pennsylvania to construct a new fleet of 24 cement ships. Construction of the fleet started in July, 1943 in Tampa, Florida. Innovations in cement mixing and composition technology made these ships stronger than the World War I efforts.
Other companies were contracted to build barge ships. These too were large vessels that lacked engines to propel them. Instead, they were used for storage and towed around by other ships.
Some of them were used to transport troops back from Europe at the end of the first World War.
Well now, here's a concrete idea, Britain has lost it's shipyards to the high costs of construction of ships, requiring welders,riveter etc etc etc, and high unit costs of steels and their manufacture. Britain could once again reestablish itself as a world leading shipbuilder, a true model of a shipbuilding mold in the world. Yes, reinstate an already sound, tried and true method of building ships,out of concrete! A truly concrete idea which the M.R.L. must encourage be resurrected!!
There is yet another idea, which was said to have been tried, and had varying success, vessels,particularly in this instance, aircraft carriers, made out of pykrete.
Pykrete is a composite material made of approximately 14% sawdust (or, less frequently, wood pulp) and 86% ice by
weight, invented by Max Perutz and proposed during World War II by Geoffrey Pyke to the Royal Navy as a candidate material for making a huge, unsinkable aircraft carrier, Project Habbakuk, actually more of a floating island than a
ship in the traditional sense. Pykrete has some interesting properties, notably its relatively slow melting rate (due to low thermal conductivity), and its vastly improved strength and toughness over pure ice, actually closer to
concrete. Pykrete is slightly harder to form than concrete, as it expands while freezing, but can be repaired and maintained from the sea's most abundant raw material.However, I have delved further in to this and have discovered
that tests on the material have actually revealed a 50% longer lifespan than ordinary ice, and one which can further be enhanced by suitable refrigeration equipments. Indeed the vessel constructions could easily be funded out of the
many political slush funds which abound nowadays.However there is substantial possibilities of crews catching colds easily,getting rheumatism, hemarroids from sitting on the ice too long etc etc etc, and so in a sound engineering
decision I am favoring further research in the matter, but going with the sure concrete proposal.
Secret Squirrel,
M.R.L.
Minister for Re-Deranged Re-Engineering.
*****************************************************
M.R.L. Birmingham Transportation Modernization
The city of Birmingham has been selected for transportation upgrade
and modernization. Clearly the city is ideal for such a futuristic
project, being the juncture of not one, but several canals.
Indeed what is proposed is an engineering project which will solve
all of the problem encountered here in modern times, problems such
as highly annoying massive transportation gridlock encountered in
city centers. Also it will solve the problem of those who own
vehicle in the first place, eliminating the high cost of gasoline
in the all together,and pleasing the Greens in that we shall
eliminate ninety nine percent of pollution problems involving
vehicles. What is proposed in bringing Birmingham in to the future,
we shall follow the wisdoms of those of the Southeast asian
countries and the City Of Venice, we shall eliminate the roadways
within the city, just the roadways, and replace them with shallow
canals all throughout! Of course the canals will have at corners
walkways crossing the canal allowing for walking and bicycling.
One may also use the roadway canals for transportation of goods
and services by application of punts,rowboats, and small barges.
Indeed this will eliminate all traffic problems involving vehicles,
eliminate their pollutions, and also will solve the problem
of dependence on foreign fuels. Imagine, we can also take things
further with more canals eventually linking all of these new
canal cities!What fear I the high cost of vehicles and gasolines!
Nay what's necessary for today's politicians is a jolly good
paddling!!!!!!
Secret Squirrel,
M.R.L.
Minister for Re-Deranged Re-Engineering
**************************************************************
For Whom The Bridge Tolls
A group of American and (to our shame)British engineers have studied the feasibility of
building a bridge (A structure that allows people or vehicles to cross an obstacle such as a
river or canal or railway etc.)to span the straits of Gibralter. Such a bridge would be of a
combination suspension-truss design and would dwarf any existing bridge in height (over 3000
feet) and length (15 km). Of course the depth of the strait reaches 300m.
Now why not then build a bridge spanning the English Channel at Dover, which would be much,much
easier, the channel at Dover being a maximum of 180feet, or 55m deep, and the width being
18 miles, or 30km. True the bridge would be longer, but the depth of the required support
pillars would be much,much less.What could also be done,is construct the bridge relatively
low to the water and at a central portion construct a lift bridge portion. Now since most of
the shipping traffic in the channel, except that going directly across, is of a most foul and
foreign nature, we propose that said lift bridge portion would only be raised to allow
a ship to pass, should the ship pay a toll. The idea is perfectly sound and a grand way of
revenue, for example we have toll roads in England(Europeans aren't required to pay tolls on
their roads they not needing the income and inconvenience,this would level the economic
playing field), also the Suez Canal generates revenues for the Arabs, and the Panama Canal
generates revenues for the Central Americans. Indeed Britain already has toll bridges
so the Europeans would just have to equally accept our toll bridge.
Now, it has been suggested that drunken French captains, and drunken German captains, might,
in their rage, ram the bridge in an effort to put and end to it.Well we can take this in to
account and can deal with those efforts as well. Indeed, Britain built in the colony of
Canada, the Canso Causeway, linking an insignificant island to mainland Canada colony,
and it is 1,305m long, and has a depth of 65m. So we are dealing with much shorter length,
and much less depth. Our causeway would be constructed of rock fill and so be impervious to
the drunken rage attacks of irate foreign vessels. Of course, in the center, we would
have our Lift Bridge, and, of course, tool booth. The captains would have to row over to the
booth, pay the toll, and then the bridge would be lifted and they would be allowed to pass.
All that remains is for government to take up this great revenue generating cause and so
benefit the people of Britain with a toll levied not on them, but on the foreigners.
As an added plus, we might just include a roadway, or perhaps a railway line as well
to allow goods and tourists to pass between Britain and Europe, paying again a suitable
toll as well, as they are already forced to do when taking the Chunnel, or riding a
ferry(no comment here) across at the present time. Of course, we in the M.R.L., could
exempt Britons from having to pay a toll, so thus it would be for the foreigners for whom
the bridge tolls.
Secret Squirrel
M.R.L.
Minister for Re-Deranged Re-Engineering
****************************************************************************
The Great Wall Of Garbage
Whilst touring America, I visited Mannanos(Algonquin for Place of Intoxification),
eventually renamed Manhattan, and suitably imbibing refreshments of the same name in
keeping with the custom of the place, we came to discussing America's massive present
problem which it cannot control properly(one of many it seems), namely that of the
inability to keep thousands upon thousands, hundreds of thousands, and quite probably
millions, of illegal immigrants from swarming across America's undefended,indefensible and
unguarded borders(strangely the Canadian ones they simply send back..........perhaps
they're imbeciles or something). In either case, the illegal immigrants are regarded as
undesirables, undesirable aliens or some such, by most Americans and there is a desire to
keep them out(at least that much).Pondering that perhaps the American government wishes to
keep them out as well, I have formulated an idea which will help both Britain and America.
Indeed Britain will solve an ever increasing problem which will not go away, and will make
a handsome profit as well, whilst at the same time we will help the Americans guard their
borders better and make their illegal immigrant problem go away.
What I proposed is that we,in Britain, will take our garbage, and compact it in to neat
blocks.We will then form a government company such that the people of Britain all profit,
and the company will then employ, in America, at cheap rate as the Americans do, the illegal
Mexican immigrants. At the same time the Americans will supply them with such medicare
and social services as they already receive so that this will cost the company nothing.
In either case we will then employ them in the task of piling the blocks, deep and high,
such that the American border is the sealed off by The Great Wall Of Garbage, and so the
illegal immigrant problem will be dealt with,and Britain's great garbage problem will also be dealt with. Should we run out of garbage in the course of the project, we can simply
offer to take Europe's garbage away for free and employ that.This project has the poetic
justice of the illegal immigrants helping keep out illegal immigrants, and at the same time
supplying extremely cheap labor, and adding to America's employment figures,and, we in Britain, will get rid of all of our garbage, selling it to...the Americans.
However, at times the American government does object to some employing these illegal
immigrants in America, especially in such a sensitive project, and should it object to itself
employing them we can simply alter our strategy and go with a simpler and even yet cheaper
one.
No matter with neat garbage blocks, we will simply dump the garbage along the border,
in ever increasing piles, and use cheap,paid for, U.S. Army soldiers to work bulldozers,
to see to it that the job is done correctly and to the satisfaction of the U.S. government,
to build a huge mountain range of garbage all along the border. This is the far cheaper
alternative and I suggest we go with this project.Again if we run out, we can offer to
take Europe's garbage away for free and sell it to the Americans.And politically, it can and could be said, that we could now get the Americans to take garbage from us!!!!!!!!
A jolly good engineering show all round.
Secret Squirrel,
M.R.L.
Minster of Re-Deranged Re-Engineering.
*******************************************************************
M.R.L. Farming Policy
Once again, out here on the hustings, it is time to expound my highly superior farming policy,
one which will without a doubt please our farmers, presently in a farming crisis of having to work so very hard
for so very little recompense, in the efforts of the British government to feed the French cheaply. Rather
I propose a method by which our farmers will work very little, if at all, and receive grand
recompense and live the good and proper farming life as was meant to be. Now ever onwards with
my policy....................
and do kindly remember me at election time, and suitably enter me as your write-in election selection,
in any and all constituancies wherein there is no M.R.L. candidate......................
One of the problems facing Britain today, is the crisis in farming, farmers feeling they're just not
getting enough profit for the hard work they put in to growing produce,
whilst others make massive profits and live the high life of not working etc. off of them.
Food,vegetables etc., cost to grow, costs time and effort in planting, costs for machinery to prepare the
field, to plant, to maintain, to cultivate,costs for the necessary farm machinery and maintaining such
machinery. Top it all off, the vast majority of the produce is sold to the Europeans, by the government,
and there sold to their people there, cheaply. Well traveling here in the colony of Canada,aptly named
so as the Germans refer to this location as being a hinter land. Here, in the area known as Quebec,
(translated from the French as "What A Beak"), I have discovered the secret to farming techniques which
require very little effort from the farmers.
Indeed I was intrigued when I heard that a Registered Head Nurse,
had given up her career as a nurse, for the evidently much more lucrative occupation of farming, in short
she became what they call a fermier.But why? Why ever would she do that? So I journeyed out to the farmlands,
to visit her...............err........study farming techniques. Well longer story short, It seems that there, there's profit in it,if you're a fermier all round.
Yes! There's actually great profit in it. Indeed farming in the Quebec area of that colony, and quite probably
thence all over the colony as there must be equality in policy all round there even yet though it is a third world area.
All that it really requires to farm profitably there is a farm,an area of the usual size, but there the farming
techniques diverge from those of Britain.
Indeed, the farm requires only a few heaps of what seem to be abandoned equipments of various
questionable nature, rusted and so for, dilapidated, which are called farm machinery, but which in Britain pass
for a machine on the scrap heap due to be hauled off. Said fermier merely sits on the land,squats as it were , in the farm house,
much as do squatters, but lives very much better, high on the hog(of which we never see any). On the farm itself,
there is much scrub to say the least, and grass of various heights, and there they grow............errr...............sit.....
the crops, the REAL crops..............................rocks.
Yes! Rocks! They farm rocks! For being possessed of said farm, the fermiers are paid by the
government,much as living off of the dole, there, or here, but certainly getting far more such doled out to them
than there, and here for that matter, and all requiring no effort at all in the actual necessity of farming,
rocks, or otherwise, as they'll take care of themselves. Indeed there's yet more, fermiers have the ability
to increase their comfortable dole levels, by participating in certain government projects, that of NOT growing
certain things. For example, they can be paid NOT to grow wheat, or for that matter other crops. So their
land is divided in to certain fields, those not growing wheat,those not growing asparagus etc, and all the
while they can still cultivate the rocks, getting the currency for NOT growing certain crops as an added
extra. Of course, such a farm requires NO maintenance, no machinery costs of any kind(merely requires the
scrap heap with wheels in it). Now there's the solution to our farmers problems, merely adopting the farming
practice so very common to that very foreign colony!And so too, now, as shown by the fermier, our new applied
foreign farming techniques will turn farming in to a Jolly Good Show!!!!!
Carry On Farming!
M.R.L.
Secret Squirrel.
M.R.L. Monetary Policies
*********************************************************************
M.R.L. Food,Produce and Meat Pricing Policies.
Of course, in my campaign, by write in vote, in any constituency wherein
is lacking an M.R.L. candidate, continues ever onwards in an effort to
bring the British people to their senses, and bring them to a better government,
and M.R.L. government, the only government which makes sense.
I would, of course, appreciate your vote.
Indeed I do consider myself much more suitable as a candidate as opposed
to my rather laggardly opponents.Take note of my many engineering proposals
as already presented to you, take note of their technologically advanced natures, taking in to
account both modern and ancient technology, combining the best of both worlds
past and present, to build a better future for the British people.
I have presented those to you, I have presented my social policies as well,
and now, as my opponents have sneered and stated I've not policies which
will reduce costs of such, commonly regarded(by them) as common commodities,
commodities such as foods. Here I sneer back, and expose their
unsuitable policies which have led to a system by which the British people pay
far too much for their own produce, for their own meats.Whereas THEY have no
solution to the problem, I most certainly do, this problem can easily be rectified,
and so, if elected..................
Regard now the dismally high prices we are paying for our fine British produce
in groceries, for our fine British meats, in meat stores, and we gaze across the Channel
and see the French paying far,far less, and indeed for our own exported British produce
and meats,produce and meats exported by our government, provided to the French people
at far less cost than supplied to the British people, British groceries et cetera.
There is a cure for this.
Take note that the French Franc is by far of less
value than the British pound. Take note now of the price of said exported produce in
France, valued at the level of the French Franc, even against the value,converted, of the
Euro. Now, having had a kidney stone, I became interested in the study of the
Euro, Eurology as it were. I noticed the value of the British pound against the Euro,
we get more Euros for the British pound than do the French,since our currency is better,
expressly, frankly speaking, we get more Francs to the frenchman.
So what we do, that is we in government,should we get there is Use our British pound to buy Euros which are dropping against the pound, having first
sold the produce to the French, what we then do, is buy the produce back from the French at the
vastly reduced French Franc/Euro prices, and then supply that to the British groceries and meat
stores at equated reduced prices, which they in turn can now supply to the British people at
vastly reduced prices!A grand saving all round for the British people!!
Savings all round, inexpensive food for all!! And..........................have the Frenchmen pay for it.
Huzzah!Huzzah!Huzzah!
M.R.L.
Secret Squirrel
Minister For Re-Deranged Re-Engineering.
********************************************************************
intelligent,weapons,war,habakkuk,aircraft,carrier,ice,olympics,rings,ships,cement,transportation,floods,canals,bridge,wall,garbage,disposal,farming
Secret Squirrel, of the MRL,Monster Raving Loony Party, his hopes,his dreams,his plans,his engineering designs,his plans for the national defense,plans in the food and farming sector,his financial plans for the good and the betterment of the people of England, Britain, and the World.....what's good for secret Squirrel is good for you, and everything he plans is good for you.......he has good intentions, remember, the road to hell is paved with good intentions.
M.R.L. Manned Intelligent Weapons Delivery System
In view of recent austerity measures taken with respect to the armed forces, I have turned my attention to attempting to alleviate the problem somewhat. Here we see a development of my manned intelligent weapons delivery system. What we do is utilize the intelligence, of man, in this case,the airman, Basically he's suspended by a detachable harness to the wing ordinance pylon, in short, he's the actual delivery system...........much cheaper than missile development.
The Japanese were the first developing an intelligent guidance system for aircraft bombs,however, theirs were of the expendable variety, the so called Kamakazi,who were expended along with the bomb delivery vehicle.It was known as a Baka bomb system,as well, which is Japanese for Idiot Bomb,which they had to be to take such a job. Their system failed basically in the delivery,many times, basically due to the lack of intelligence for those who signed up for that particular job,and also in the fact that their intelligent airman expired when so employed.This was and is considered to be highly detrimental in future recruitment.
Ours is an offshoot of the first system,however, no harm actually comes to the airman,which no doubt will please British airmen, and also increase recruitment. In our system, the British airman is re-loadable and reusable.Note the extreme flexibility this system offers, along with the abilities to intelligently direct and deliver fire towards the enemy with a multitude of weapons available to be used. Here the airman is shown holding a simple automatic pistol,such as one sees used to such great effect in U.S. schools. Of course said stated automatic pistol could be replaced by an automatic rifle, or say fully automatic machine gun. The system could also use and carry and drop grenades intelligently on target,properly aimed. Further flexibility is available through the airman equipped use of an R.P.G. type of weapon.
Of course what with recent remarks made by Air Vice Marshall "Kamakazi" Walker,obviously deeply influenced by the Japanese Kamakazi Corps, has mentioned the possibility of suicide missions being flown against Taliban or other terror groups,by our present British air forces. He's obviously also seen the ridiculous unintelligent side of intelligent bombs and delivery systems etc, but has gone a touch Baka suggesting that the airman should intelligently guide the bombs to the target, and then see to it,personally,that the bomb etc crashes in to it's target,dashing themselves to pieces. One assumes that should government not be in our hands, and our system developed,that the Air Vice Marshall might order the weapons carrier airman also dropped on an enemy target,misfortunately. Of course, as the system development experiments continue and the system takes form to a fully operational working intelligent weapons system, one hopes that by then the M.R.L. would have achieved government, and so too, no doubt does our weapons system itself.
Secret Squirrel,
M.R.L.
Minister For Re-Deranged Re-Engineering.
.....................................
MRL Revives The Secretly Abandoned Project Habakkuk
Project Habakkuk
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Project_Habakkuk
Project Habakkuk or Habbakuk (spelling varies; see below) was a plan by the British in World War II to construct an aircraft carrier out of pykrete (a mixture of wood pulp and ice), for use against German U-boats in the mid-Atlantic, which was out of range of land-based planes.
And .......................
http://www.royalnavalmuseum.org/info_sheets_Habbakkuk.htm
The Habbakuk Project
HABBAKUK: GEOFFREY PYKE'S ICEBERG AIRCRAFT CARRIER
In 1942, the Allied forces were losing a considerable amount of merchant shipping in the Atlantic Ocean, due to German submarine forces and the lack of adequate air cover in the mid-Atlantic. The range of operating aircraft was not sufficient to cover this area and aircraft carriers were in short supply to allow for shorter range flying. Plans for an Allied invasion of Europe were also underway and it was felt that large floating platforms were needed to assist the assault forces. The Second World War was also a time when many scientists were encouraged to develop weapon technology and other military equipment to assist the war effort. Many projects that were developed were successful, such as the bouncing bomb by Barnes Wallis, midget submarines, mulberry harbours and the Pipe Line Under The Ocean (PLUTO) project. Others were not so successful and some were even incredible.
And so onwards, backwards......................
We in the MRL have seen the deterioration in numbers of Britain's Navy, particularly the miniaturization of the carrier fleets to those of midget ships amongst the giants of the seas,said to be an act of austerity, lacks of funds, or simply because who really wants a ship built by the french(there are limits to what we can ask our sailors to serve on)....we, however, have a solution to this problem
A Project Hubbakuk
Misfortunately, nowadays, Her Majesty's Royal Navy is falling on hard times,
budgets and things, but basicly polite for bankrupt,even yet ghost broke
as even the great Naval ancestors shake their heads and walk away from it all.
However, there is a solution to the crisis, specificly the crisis of being
unable to afford aircraft carriers.The answer is hidden in the records of
Whitehall, secret documents hidden from sight of a project planned to be
undertaken, that of the Project Hubbakuk. Indeed this secret project
involved taking a large arctic ice flow, placing on it refrigeration equipment
to maintain it's integrity, and propulsion equipment to steer it about.
This ice flow was to be used as a floating airfield for Their Majesty's aircraft!
One recalls Hitler having a great fear of the project, most notably telling Churchill
each time Churchill met with him to complain about the goings on in Europe,
"Don't make a big Hubbakuk." All that remains is for the project to be pulled from
the limbo of the hidden war document filing cabinets and undertaken.
Make a great hubbakuk.
Secret Squirrel,
MRL,
Minister For Re-Deranged Re-Engineering.
..................................................
An Olympian Task For Britain.
From the Olympic Charter
Art. 12: Olympic Symbol
1 The Olympic symbol consists of the five Olympic rings used alone, in one or in several colours.
2 The five colours of the rings are mandatorily blue, yellow, black, green and red. The rings are interlaced from left to right. The blue, black and red rings are situated at the top, the yellow and green rings at the bottom. The
whole approximately forms a regular trapezium, the shorter of the parallel sides forming the base, according to the official design deposited at the IOC headquarters and (reproduced) below.
3 The Olympic symbol represents the union of the five continents and the meeting of athletes from throughout the world at the Olympic Games.
I propose to engineer an Olympic Movement in Britain to have Britain declared as a continent, and so have it's own Olympic Ring, the missing Sixth Ring.Presently all Britain is considered to be In-Continent.
It is to be pointed out, that North and South America are considered separate, and continents, yet they are joined, merely severed by the man-made Panama Canal...does this really count then as separate,yet they have a ring each.
Similarly, Africa is not separate from Europe-Asia except by the man-made Suez Canal, which hardly counts, and so three rings represent what really should merely be one.Europe and Asia are not separate at all,but entirely joined, and also as before, joined with Africa as well.
Australia is there large and looming, and entirely by itself and so legitimately has it's own ring.
But all things considered, has Britain not been shunned? Should Britain not have it's own legitimate Olympic Ring.
Logic dictates so. Definitely what with the next Olympics being in Britain, and Britain bearing the ever increasing huge Olympian cost,Britain should get something in return. Britons must take up the cause and petition for our own Olympic Ring! We are a continent, a separate Island continent. Indeed we must cease this intolerant and intolerable Olympic In-Continence which Britain suffers from.
Secret Squirrel,
MRL,
Minister for Re-Deranged Re-Engineering
..............................................................
Floating Ideas
In 1917 and 1918 British builders constructed barges, tugs and fishing boats using concrete. The Americans were more ambitious, commissioning a fleet of 12 ocean-going concrete freighters costing 50 million dollars.
The concrete ships that were built followed the design of steel ships of that era, but required much thicker hulls to get the same amount of strength that the steel gave. A newly-developed form of concrete that included portland cement was used because it was relatively light (Only 120 pounds per cubic foot). Even so, the ships were much heavier than steel ships. The ship builders also found that concrete was much more difficult to manipulate than steel, making the ships more difficult to construct. The oldest known ferro-cement ship was a dingy built by Joseph Louis Lambot in Southern France in the year 1848. The boat was featured in the 1855 World's Fair held in France. An Italian engineer, Carlo Gabellini, built barges and small ships out of ferro-cement in the 1890s.1910s saw the building of several ferro-cement ships in UK. One of these ships, the Violette, was built in 1917 and is currently used as a boating clubhouse on the River Medway in England. This makes her the oldest ferro-cement ship still
afloat.On August 2, 1917, N.K. Fougner of Norway launched the first ocean-going ferro-cement ship, an 84-foot long boat named Namsenfjord. With the success of the ship, several more small ferro-cement vessels were built.World War II led to shortages in steel supply. In 1942, the U.S. government contracted McCloskey & Company of Philadelphia, Pennsylvania to construct a new fleet of 24 cement ships. Construction of the fleet started in July, 1943 in Tampa, Florida. Innovations in cement mixing and composition technology made these ships stronger than the World War I efforts.
Other companies were contracted to build barge ships. These too were large vessels that lacked engines to propel them. Instead, they were used for storage and towed around by other ships.
Some of them were used to transport troops back from Europe at the end of the first World War.
Well now, here's a concrete idea, Britain has lost it's shipyards to the high costs of construction of ships, requiring welders,riveter etc etc etc, and high unit costs of steels and their manufacture. Britain could once again reestablish itself as a world leading shipbuilder, a true model of a shipbuilding mold in the world. Yes, reinstate an already sound, tried and true method of building ships,out of concrete! A truly concrete idea which the M.R.L. must encourage be resurrected!!
There is yet another idea, which was said to have been tried, and had varying success, vessels,particularly in this instance, aircraft carriers, made out of pykrete.
Pykrete is a composite material made of approximately 14% sawdust (or, less frequently, wood pulp) and 86% ice by
weight, invented by Max Perutz and proposed during World War II by Geoffrey Pyke to the Royal Navy as a candidate material for making a huge, unsinkable aircraft carrier, Project Habbakuk, actually more of a floating island than a
ship in the traditional sense. Pykrete has some interesting properties, notably its relatively slow melting rate (due to low thermal conductivity), and its vastly improved strength and toughness over pure ice, actually closer to
concrete. Pykrete is slightly harder to form than concrete, as it expands while freezing, but can be repaired and maintained from the sea's most abundant raw material.However, I have delved further in to this and have discovered
that tests on the material have actually revealed a 50% longer lifespan than ordinary ice, and one which can further be enhanced by suitable refrigeration equipments. Indeed the vessel constructions could easily be funded out of the
many political slush funds which abound nowadays.However there is substantial possibilities of crews catching colds easily,getting rheumatism, hemarroids from sitting on the ice too long etc etc etc, and so in a sound engineering
decision I am favoring further research in the matter, but going with the sure concrete proposal.
Secret Squirrel,
M.R.L.
Minister for Re-Deranged Re-Engineering.
*****************************************************
M.R.L. Birmingham Transportation Modernization
The city of Birmingham has been selected for transportation upgrade
and modernization. Clearly the city is ideal for such a futuristic
project, being the juncture of not one, but several canals.
Indeed what is proposed is an engineering project which will solve
all of the problem encountered here in modern times, problems such
as highly annoying massive transportation gridlock encountered in
city centers. Also it will solve the problem of those who own
vehicle in the first place, eliminating the high cost of gasoline
in the all together,and pleasing the Greens in that we shall
eliminate ninety nine percent of pollution problems involving
vehicles. What is proposed in bringing Birmingham in to the future,
we shall follow the wisdoms of those of the Southeast asian
countries and the City Of Venice, we shall eliminate the roadways
within the city, just the roadways, and replace them with shallow
canals all throughout! Of course the canals will have at corners
walkways crossing the canal allowing for walking and bicycling.
One may also use the roadway canals for transportation of goods
and services by application of punts,rowboats, and small barges.
Indeed this will eliminate all traffic problems involving vehicles,
eliminate their pollutions, and also will solve the problem
of dependence on foreign fuels. Imagine, we can also take things
further with more canals eventually linking all of these new
canal cities!What fear I the high cost of vehicles and gasolines!
Nay what's necessary for today's politicians is a jolly good
paddling!!!!!!
Secret Squirrel,
M.R.L.
Minister for Re-Deranged Re-Engineering
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For Whom The Bridge Tolls
A group of American and (to our shame)British engineers have studied the feasibility of
building a bridge (A structure that allows people or vehicles to cross an obstacle such as a
river or canal or railway etc.)to span the straits of Gibralter. Such a bridge would be of a
combination suspension-truss design and would dwarf any existing bridge in height (over 3000
feet) and length (15 km). Of course the depth of the strait reaches 300m.
Now why not then build a bridge spanning the English Channel at Dover, which would be much,much
easier, the channel at Dover being a maximum of 180feet, or 55m deep, and the width being
18 miles, or 30km. True the bridge would be longer, but the depth of the required support
pillars would be much,much less.What could also be done,is construct the bridge relatively
low to the water and at a central portion construct a lift bridge portion. Now since most of
the shipping traffic in the channel, except that going directly across, is of a most foul and
foreign nature, we propose that said lift bridge portion would only be raised to allow
a ship to pass, should the ship pay a toll. The idea is perfectly sound and a grand way of
revenue, for example we have toll roads in England(Europeans aren't required to pay tolls on
their roads they not needing the income and inconvenience,this would level the economic
playing field), also the Suez Canal generates revenues for the Arabs, and the Panama Canal
generates revenues for the Central Americans. Indeed Britain already has toll bridges
so the Europeans would just have to equally accept our toll bridge.
Now, it has been suggested that drunken French captains, and drunken German captains, might,
in their rage, ram the bridge in an effort to put and end to it.Well we can take this in to
account and can deal with those efforts as well. Indeed, Britain built in the colony of
Canada, the Canso Causeway, linking an insignificant island to mainland Canada colony,
and it is 1,305m long, and has a depth of 65m. So we are dealing with much shorter length,
and much less depth. Our causeway would be constructed of rock fill and so be impervious to
the drunken rage attacks of irate foreign vessels. Of course, in the center, we would
have our Lift Bridge, and, of course, tool booth. The captains would have to row over to the
booth, pay the toll, and then the bridge would be lifted and they would be allowed to pass.
All that remains is for government to take up this great revenue generating cause and so
benefit the people of Britain with a toll levied not on them, but on the foreigners.
As an added plus, we might just include a roadway, or perhaps a railway line as well
to allow goods and tourists to pass between Britain and Europe, paying again a suitable
toll as well, as they are already forced to do when taking the Chunnel, or riding a
ferry(no comment here) across at the present time. Of course, we in the M.R.L., could
exempt Britons from having to pay a toll, so thus it would be for the foreigners for whom
the bridge tolls.
Secret Squirrel
M.R.L.
Minister for Re-Deranged Re-Engineering
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The Great Wall Of Garbage
Whilst touring America, I visited Mannanos(Algonquin for Place of Intoxification),
eventually renamed Manhattan, and suitably imbibing refreshments of the same name in
keeping with the custom of the place, we came to discussing America's massive present
problem which it cannot control properly(one of many it seems), namely that of the
inability to keep thousands upon thousands, hundreds of thousands, and quite probably
millions, of illegal immigrants from swarming across America's undefended,indefensible and
unguarded borders(strangely the Canadian ones they simply send back..........perhaps
they're imbeciles or something). In either case, the illegal immigrants are regarded as
undesirables, undesirable aliens or some such, by most Americans and there is a desire to
keep them out(at least that much).Pondering that perhaps the American government wishes to
keep them out as well, I have formulated an idea which will help both Britain and America.
Indeed Britain will solve an ever increasing problem which will not go away, and will make
a handsome profit as well, whilst at the same time we will help the Americans guard their
borders better and make their illegal immigrant problem go away.
What I proposed is that we,in Britain, will take our garbage, and compact it in to neat
blocks.We will then form a government company such that the people of Britain all profit,
and the company will then employ, in America, at cheap rate as the Americans do, the illegal
Mexican immigrants. At the same time the Americans will supply them with such medicare
and social services as they already receive so that this will cost the company nothing.
In either case we will then employ them in the task of piling the blocks, deep and high,
such that the American border is the sealed off by The Great Wall Of Garbage, and so the
illegal immigrant problem will be dealt with,and Britain's great garbage problem will also be dealt with. Should we run out of garbage in the course of the project, we can simply
offer to take Europe's garbage away for free and employ that.This project has the poetic
justice of the illegal immigrants helping keep out illegal immigrants, and at the same time
supplying extremely cheap labor, and adding to America's employment figures,and, we in Britain, will get rid of all of our garbage, selling it to...the Americans.
However, at times the American government does object to some employing these illegal
immigrants in America, especially in such a sensitive project, and should it object to itself
employing them we can simply alter our strategy and go with a simpler and even yet cheaper
one.
No matter with neat garbage blocks, we will simply dump the garbage along the border,
in ever increasing piles, and use cheap,paid for, U.S. Army soldiers to work bulldozers,
to see to it that the job is done correctly and to the satisfaction of the U.S. government,
to build a huge mountain range of garbage all along the border. This is the far cheaper
alternative and I suggest we go with this project.Again if we run out, we can offer to
take Europe's garbage away for free and sell it to the Americans.And politically, it can and could be said, that we could now get the Americans to take garbage from us!!!!!!!!
A jolly good engineering show all round.
Secret Squirrel,
M.R.L.
Minster of Re-Deranged Re-Engineering.
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M.R.L. Farming Policy
Once again, out here on the hustings, it is time to expound my highly superior farming policy,
one which will without a doubt please our farmers, presently in a farming crisis of having to work so very hard
for so very little recompense, in the efforts of the British government to feed the French cheaply. Rather
I propose a method by which our farmers will work very little, if at all, and receive grand
recompense and live the good and proper farming life as was meant to be. Now ever onwards with
my policy....................
and do kindly remember me at election time, and suitably enter me as your write-in election selection,
in any and all constituancies wherein there is no M.R.L. candidate......................
One of the problems facing Britain today, is the crisis in farming, farmers feeling they're just not
getting enough profit for the hard work they put in to growing produce,
whilst others make massive profits and live the high life of not working etc. off of them.
Food,vegetables etc., cost to grow, costs time and effort in planting, costs for machinery to prepare the
field, to plant, to maintain, to cultivate,costs for the necessary farm machinery and maintaining such
machinery. Top it all off, the vast majority of the produce is sold to the Europeans, by the government,
and there sold to their people there, cheaply. Well traveling here in the colony of Canada,aptly named
so as the Germans refer to this location as being a hinter land. Here, in the area known as Quebec,
(translated from the French as "What A Beak"), I have discovered the secret to farming techniques which
require very little effort from the farmers.
Indeed I was intrigued when I heard that a Registered Head Nurse,
had given up her career as a nurse, for the evidently much more lucrative occupation of farming, in short
she became what they call a fermier.But why? Why ever would she do that? So I journeyed out to the farmlands,
to visit her...............err........study farming techniques. Well longer story short, It seems that there, there's profit in it,if you're a fermier all round.
Yes! There's actually great profit in it. Indeed farming in the Quebec area of that colony, and quite probably
thence all over the colony as there must be equality in policy all round there even yet though it is a third world area.
All that it really requires to farm profitably there is a farm,an area of the usual size, but there the farming
techniques diverge from those of Britain.
Indeed, the farm requires only a few heaps of what seem to be abandoned equipments of various
questionable nature, rusted and so for, dilapidated, which are called farm machinery, but which in Britain pass
for a machine on the scrap heap due to be hauled off. Said fermier merely sits on the land,squats as it were , in the farm house,
much as do squatters, but lives very much better, high on the hog(of which we never see any). On the farm itself,
there is much scrub to say the least, and grass of various heights, and there they grow............errr...............sit.....
the crops, the REAL crops..............................rocks.
Yes! Rocks! They farm rocks! For being possessed of said farm, the fermiers are paid by the
government,much as living off of the dole, there, or here, but certainly getting far more such doled out to them
than there, and here for that matter, and all requiring no effort at all in the actual necessity of farming,
rocks, or otherwise, as they'll take care of themselves. Indeed there's yet more, fermiers have the ability
to increase their comfortable dole levels, by participating in certain government projects, that of NOT growing
certain things. For example, they can be paid NOT to grow wheat, or for that matter other crops. So their
land is divided in to certain fields, those not growing wheat,those not growing asparagus etc, and all the
while they can still cultivate the rocks, getting the currency for NOT growing certain crops as an added
extra. Of course, such a farm requires NO maintenance, no machinery costs of any kind(merely requires the
scrap heap with wheels in it). Now there's the solution to our farmers problems, merely adopting the farming
practice so very common to that very foreign colony!And so too, now, as shown by the fermier, our new applied
foreign farming techniques will turn farming in to a Jolly Good Show!!!!!
Carry On Farming!
M.R.L.
Secret Squirrel.
M.R.L. Monetary Policies
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M.R.L. Food,Produce and Meat Pricing Policies.
Of course, in my campaign, by write in vote, in any constituency wherein
is lacking an M.R.L. candidate, continues ever onwards in an effort to
bring the British people to their senses, and bring them to a better government,
and M.R.L. government, the only government which makes sense.
I would, of course, appreciate your vote.
Indeed I do consider myself much more suitable as a candidate as opposed
to my rather laggardly opponents.Take note of my many engineering proposals
as already presented to you, take note of their technologically advanced natures, taking in to
account both modern and ancient technology, combining the best of both worlds
past and present, to build a better future for the British people.
I have presented those to you, I have presented my social policies as well,
and now, as my opponents have sneered and stated I've not policies which
will reduce costs of such, commonly regarded(by them) as common commodities,
commodities such as foods. Here I sneer back, and expose their
unsuitable policies which have led to a system by which the British people pay
far too much for their own produce, for their own meats.Whereas THEY have no
solution to the problem, I most certainly do, this problem can easily be rectified,
and so, if elected..................
Regard now the dismally high prices we are paying for our fine British produce
in groceries, for our fine British meats, in meat stores, and we gaze across the Channel
and see the French paying far,far less, and indeed for our own exported British produce
and meats,produce and meats exported by our government, provided to the French people
at far less cost than supplied to the British people, British groceries et cetera.
There is a cure for this.
Take note that the French Franc is by far of less
value than the British pound. Take note now of the price of said exported produce in
France, valued at the level of the French Franc, even against the value,converted, of the
Euro. Now, having had a kidney stone, I became interested in the study of the
Euro, Eurology as it were. I noticed the value of the British pound against the Euro,
we get more Euros for the British pound than do the French,since our currency is better,
expressly, frankly speaking, we get more Francs to the frenchman.
So what we do, that is we in government,should we get there is Use our British pound to buy Euros which are dropping against the pound, having first
sold the produce to the French, what we then do, is buy the produce back from the French at the
vastly reduced French Franc/Euro prices, and then supply that to the British groceries and meat
stores at equated reduced prices, which they in turn can now supply to the British people at
vastly reduced prices!A grand saving all round for the British people!!
Savings all round, inexpensive food for all!! And..........................have the Frenchmen pay for it.
Huzzah!Huzzah!Huzzah!
M.R.L.
Secret Squirrel
Minister For Re-Deranged Re-Engineering.
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