keywords:
mrl, floods, flooding, military, vehicles, cars, helicopters,amphibious,tanks, equipment,secret squirrel
Roadable Aircraft - Aerocar Aerocar
Enlarge image (will open in a new window)Moulton B. Taylor dreamed of producing a roadable aircraft, which could be used as a family car and, as the need or inclination arose, have wings, tail and propellor quickly attached. After World War 2, Taylor set to work to produce such a vehicle, and by late 1949 a prototype Aerocar had flown.
On 13th December, 1956, the improved production Aerocar 1 received FAA certification. Four further Model 1s were built, for demonstration and sale. The six Aerocars so far built accumulated over 200,000 road miles and 5,000 flight hours. The final version was a much improved Aerocar III, converted from a model 1.
The car itself was a fairly conventional front-wheel-drive automobile. The power plant was an Avco Lycoming O-320 aircraft engine in the rear of the vehicle. This drove either the road wheels or, via an extended drive shaft in the detachable tail boom, a propellor to the rear of the Y-form tail structure. Braced monoplane wings were fitted in high configuration to the rear of the car. Unless the wings and tail boom were all correctly engaged, it was not possible to start the engine for flight.
Conversion from air to road could be achieved by one person in five minutes. The detached aircraft components could be towed behind the car in folding wheels fitted to the wing roots.
The Aerocar project ended with the passing of new legislation relating to automobiles in the United States. To meet 1970s requirements, the Aerocar would have to become too heavy and expensive to be practical.
Roadable Aircraft - Hafner Rotabuggy Flying Jeep
Enlarge image (will open in a new window)The work of the Airborne Forces Experimental Establishment at Ringway, Manchester, on the Rotachute from 1940 onwards led to the suggestion that the free-wheeling autogyro principles employed could also be applied to larger loads. The designer, Raoul Hafner, suggested the Rotabuggy, a Jeep (or "Blitz Buggy") with rotors, and the Rotatank, a similarly modified Valentine tank. A development contract was placed with the M.L. Aviation Company at White Waltham in 1942, covered by specification 10/42.
Preliminary tests involved loading a Jeep with concrete and dropping it from heights of up to 7 ft. 8 in. (2.35 m.), demonstrating that the standard vehicle could survive undamaged from impacts of up to 11g. A 46 ft. 8 in. (12.4 m.) dia. two-blade rotor was then fitted, as well as a streamlined tail fairing with twin rudderless fins. Other additions were perspex door panels, a 'hanging' rotor control next to the steering wheel and a rotor tachometer and glider navigational instruments.
The Rotabuggy, camouflaged, carrying RAF roundels and a prototype "P", was tow tested behind a 4½ litre supercharged Bentley, and achieved gliding speeds of up to 65 mph (105 km/h) IAS.
The first flight was made on November 16, 1943. Later, some flights were made behind a Whitley bomber from Sherbourne-in-Elmet.
One witness described how she watched a Whitley take off with a Jeep in tow, circle and land. The Jeep, still in tow, did not touch down at the same time, and the witness realised that its occupants "were unhappy". With the pilot holding the hanging control column and the driver clutching the steering wheel, the Jeep made a series of up and down movements, whilst the audience hoped it would stall on a 'down' rather than an 'up'.
This it fortunately did, the driver taking over and driving flat-out after the Whitley, to which it remained attached. When it stopped, nobody got out for a while; the pilot was then assisted out and lay down beside the runway to recover. Apparently he was exhausted from trying to control the joystick, which had whipped in circles for the whole flight.
Apparently this flight was one of the worst, and the handling and flying qualities of the Rotabuggy were officially recorded as "highly satisfactory", especially when large tail fins had been fitted and greater rotor blade articulation provided. However, development of Horsa II and Hamilcar vehicle carrying gliders made further development of the idea unnecessary.
Now the existing technology could be applied and upgraded..................the time is now...............by reviving sutch a concept we could vastly reduce road traffic congestion, and just imagine, not being on a ROAD, the Labor government could not use and apply a road tax, nor could any other existing government of England. And now after having gotten this far in my proposal, you realize that it's certainly not a taxing engineering idea.
Secret Squirrel,
MRL,
Minister for Re-Deranged Re-Engineering.
*****************************************************************
A Sound Project, Re-Discovered, Re-Engineered.
Hafner Rotabuggy Flying Jeep
The work of the Airborne Forces Experimental Establishment at Ringway, Manchester, on the Rotachute from 1940 onwards led to the suggestion that the free-wheeling autogyro principles employed could also be applied to larger loads. The designer, Raoul Hafner, suggested the Rotabuggy, a Jeep (or "Blitz Buggy") with rotors, and the Rotatank, a similarly modified Valentine tank. A development contract was placed with the M.L. Aviation Company at White Waltham in 1942, covered by specification 10/42.
Preliminary tests involved loading a Jeep with concrete and dropping it from heights of up to 7 ft. 8 in. (2.35 m.), demonstrating that the standard vehicle could survive undamaged from impacts of up to 11g. A 46 ft. 8 in. (12.4 m.) dia. two-blade rotor was then fitted, as well as a streamlined tail fairing with twin rudderless fins. Other additions were perspex door panels, a 'hanging' rotor control next to the steering wheel and a rotor tachometer and glider navigational instruments.
The Rotabuggy, camouflaged, carrying RAF roundels and a prototype "P", was tow tested behind a 4½ litre supercharged Bentley, and achieved gliding speeds of up to 65 mph (105 km/h) IAS.
The first flight was made on November 16, 1943. Later, some flights were made behind a Whitley bomber from Sherbourne-in-Elmet.
Of course, this sound project must be reinstated. It combines the easily manufactured mass produced and versatile jeep, and helicopter, in short saving money in and personel in assembly and manufacture lines. Jeeps can carry all sorts of light guns and where with all, that helicopters at present carry, but yet won't require complex and diversified assembly and manufacture, in short a Swiss Army Knife of Helicopter Jeeps can be created much more easily in modern times! Indeed in this age of austerity, Britain will be easily able to afford helicopters, all types of helicopters, based on a simple jeep helicopter base platform, just as on finds at a vehicular dealership, here's your car, add the options, here's your helijeep, add the weapon systems!For yet greater versatility, this revived project will be morphed into using an existing amphibious jeep chassis-the ultimate in versatility!!
Now as a further extension of the project, regard this Soviet engineering attempt.
The Antonov KT (Kr'lya Tanka) - also referred to as the A-40 or A-T - was developed in 1940 by the skilled designer of weight-carrying gliders, Oleg Konstantinovich Antonov. The aim was to test the viability of the idea of supplying partisan forces with light tanks to harrass the enemy's lines of communication.
A T-60 light tank provided the 'fuselage' of the unit, the unlocked tracks being the 'landing gear'. An unstaggered biplane wing of plywood and fabric was attached, together with a pair of tail booms with twin vertical surfaces and a high-mounted single horizontal surface. The aerodynamic controls comprised a single lever operating all flying surfaces from the driver's position. The flying surfaces were to be jettisoned directly on landing.
The unit was towed by a heavy bomber such as the Petlyakov Pe-8 or Tupolev TB-3. Whilst Western sources say the KT never left the ground, Soviet sources say a single successful flight was made in 1941 or 1942. With only limited official support, the programme was cancelled shortly after that time. England, not to be outdone, had a autogyro project in the works, involving the use of a Valentine tank. Sadly, this idea was not proceeded with, no doubt the effects of those tampering with proper engineers,those whose jealousy of sound engineering ideas resulted in the suppression of the engineers and their ideas.
However, we know better nowadays, at least we in the MRL do, and so we can combine this idea with that of our flying amphibious jeep. In short, to the flying jeep add a recoilless rifle.I should add that this idea worked well and was in actual fact used, a recoilless rifle integrated in the chassis of a motor scooter,truly inovative at the time, and an engineering project that worked in theory and in practice as well.
This turns our utility vehicle, suitable for carrying troops,equipment etc in to a combat zone, flying,swimming or driving, into a flying,swimming or driving light tank as well...........the penultimate in engineering versatility.
Sutch is the way, England must proceed with our backsides to the future................ever forwards by going backwards!!!
Realizing that funding may not be at hand, I propose we do what America did, by not really declaring war on Iraq,and thence invading it in it's version of a benevolent war of liberation. Here we note that America found over a hundred billion dollars it needed but didn't have.I propose instead to do the same,somewhat, and fund the projects by declaring war on France.I'm willing to negotiate, I'm flexible, perhaps a war against Holland, or perhaps Denmark would be easier. If not, we'll have to invade Jersey,just queitly, not tell them, merely go as disguised tourists,not damage anything or anyone, merely toruisting about, spending thither and yon, and then returning. Once home we can declare it a successful invading war of liberation and have billions availabble to spend as we will. Of course, this being the way of the world, then let's invade France,Denmark,Holland, and Jeresy as well, and we'll have millions of billions available for project fundings!!!!
Secret Squirrel,
M.R.L.
Minister For Re-Deranged Re-Engineering.
****************************************************************
Floods
M.R.L. Flooding Solution
The government is in crisis, England is in crisis, England is flooding, and the government is England's crisis. Recent vents of flooding in Britain have touched me deeply, saddened me, disheartened me, having seen the vicious flooding in America's formerly Great City of New Orleans, and pondered the effects on the people of Britain. Indeed utter destruction was wrought in New Orleans, and was wrought in England as well.............no assistance was rendered, the people left to fend for themselves.
New Orleans was entirely the fault of a laggard American government, ignoring the pleas of the Mayor
and Citizenry alike, to expand,improve,shore up,renew and/or build new and more solid levees,quite simply, dyke structures. Britain's flooding is also the fault of a government laggard in it's behavour, doing nothing to remedy the situation,the problems have continued to flood through governments past and present, as water through an American dyke. However there is engineering genius to be considered,British ingenuity, the adaptability of the British people in the face of adversity, all in the face of laggardly,inept, and ignorant governments which have allowed the problem to exist.
However, the problem can be solved quite easily with proper application of modern engineering techniques already existent.Indeed, I have THE solution.
It struck me quite plainly as I gazed on an amazing waterway,canal system, in Germany. I suddenly realized that one waterway crossed over the other, as a flyover, an overpass, one canal crossing above the other...............a canalway, in the sky, and in the ground. Well,here in Britain the idea will fly but the M.R.L. is more down to earth as are the engineering projects I endeavour to present. You see what needs be done is to live with both flood and non flood conditions. How? Well the German canal system is illustrative of this, it works, it's hardly leaking and collapsing as so many American unnecessary water canal projects do.Ours,however,is necessary. What we have to do, in each village and town, and interconnecting roadway, and within the towns, is to construct the roads themselves within walled dykes(I won't call the levees calling to mind the American travesty's of failed concrete walls). Now when it floods the water is contained within these canal roadways and channeled away when it's done, and back to dry road uses when it's gone. But how to live with this,how to maintain a dignified lifestyle? Well, quite simply it requires and adaptive change of lifestyle. All can be accommodated within any and all existent conditions, flood or no flood. Cars,vehicles, lorries, must now be of the amphibious type.
Recall the early amphicar,we all saw Branson's mucking about in one(no doubt a failed attempt to walk on water, the amphicar was as close as he could come).There are many varieties of such vehicies available. Look at the ingenious lorries the Cubans adapted to cross the sea to get to America. There are even yet amphi Recreational vehicles, allowing for caravan trips whilst in or out of flood conditions, indeed these can even be built as buses, for intercity, and in city transport of the population. Well now, we have accommodated transportation, business lorries, the common man's car, what of housing?
Well there are different approaches to actual housing for some may not prefer the amphi recreational bus vehicle. We can mount existing larger or smaller caravans, on barges(for those inclined to caravaning), and tether them to place,these will then rise and fall with the tide, or remain earthbound in event of non flood conditions,and so can still function as caravans in any and all conditions,allowing a waterworld,waterpark vacation in conditions of wet flood, and regular caravan camping in event of dry! Camp all around I should say! And,do! For those inclined to regular housing we can adapt as the Dutch have, with actual house type house boats, again tethering in place. What of larger edifices, well
the dying industry of cruise ships can be utilized and the ships transported to the flood areas and there they shall sit, or float depending on conditions,acting as buildings,apartments and whatever else form of other building is required.
Ah you say, what of air transit? Well, we do have, you know, existent, amphibious helicopters and yet aircraft of all types so each village can have it's own aerodromewaterport, no problem there at all.
There, we have covered it all, solved it all, and easily with modern existent technology.Indeed the M.R.L. excels and revels in solving the problem which past and present governments have utterly failed at.The M.R.L. solution! Good for you! Good for us!
Secret Squirrel,
M.R.L.
Minister For Re-Deranged Re-Engineering.
--------------------------------------------------------------
MRL on Roadable Aircraft - Aerocar Aerocar
Moulton B. Taylor dreamed of producing a roadable aircraft, which could be used as a family car and, as the need or inclination arose, have wings, tail and propeller quickly attached. After World War 2, Taylor set to work to produce such a vehicle, and by late 1949 a prototype Aerocar had flown.
On 13th December, 1956, the improved production Aerocar 1 received FAA certification. Four further Model 1s were built, for demonstration and sale. The six Aerocars so far built accumulated over 200,000 road miles and 5,000 flight hours. The final version was a much improved Aerocar III, converted from a model 1.
The car itself was a fairly conventional front-wheel-drive automobile. The power plant was an Avco Lycoming O-320 aircraft engine in the rear of the vehicle. This drove either the road wheels or, via an extended drive shaft in the detachable tail boom, a propeller to the rear of the Y-form tail structure. Braced monoplane wings were fitted in high configuration to the rear of the car. Unless the wings and tail boom were all correctly engaged, it was not possible to start the engine for flight.
Conversion from air to road could be achieved by one person in five minutes. The detached aircraft components could be towed behind the car in folding wheels fitted to the wing roots.
The Aerocar project ended with the passing of new legislation relating to automobiles in the United States. To meet 1970s requirements, the Aerocar would have to become too heavy and expensive to be practical.
Roadable Aircraft - Hafner Rotabuggy Flying Jeep
Enlarge image (will open in a new window)The work of the Airborne Forces Experimental Establishment at Ringway, Manchester, on the Rotachute from 1940 onwards led to the suggestion that the free-wheeling autogyro principles employed could also be applied to larger loads. The designer, Raoul Hafner, suggested the Rotabuggy, a Jeep (or "Blitz Buggy") with rotors, and the Rotatank, a similarly modified Valentine tank. A development contract was placed with the M.L. Aviation Company at White Waltham in 1942, covered by specification 10/42.
Preliminary tests involved loading a Jeep with concrete and dropping it from heights of up to 7 ft. 8 in. (2.35 m.), demonstrating that the standard vehicle could survive undamaged from impacts of up to 11g. A 46 ft. 8 in. (12.4 m.) dia. two-blade rotor was then fitted, as well as a streamlined tail fairing with twin rudderless fins. Other additions were perspex door panels, a 'hanging' rotor control next to the steering wheel and a rotor tachometer and glider navigational instruments.
The Rotabuggy, camouflaged, carrying RAF roundels and a prototype "P", was tow tested behind a 4½ litre supercharged Bentley, and achieved gliding speeds of up to 65 mph (105 km/h) IAS.
The first flight was made on November 16, 1943. Later, some flights were made behind a Whitley bomber from Sherbourne-in-Elmet.
One witness described how she watched a Whitley take off with a Jeep in tow, circle and land. The Jeep, still in tow, did not touch down at the same time, and the witness realised that its occupants "were unhappy". With the pilot holding the hanging control column and the driver clutching the steering wheel, the Jeep made a series of up and down movements, whilst the audience hoped it would stall on a 'down' rather than an 'up'.
This it fortunately did, the driver taking over and driving flat-out after the Whitley, to which it remained attached. When it stopped, nobody got out for a while; the pilot was then assisted out and lay down beside the runway to recover. Apparently he was exhausted from trying to control the joystick, which had whipped in circles for the whole flight.
Apparently this flight was one of the worst, and the handling and flying qualities of the Rotabuggy were officially recorded as "highly satisfactory", especially when large tail fins had been fitted and greater rotor blade articulation provided. However, development of Horsa II and Hamilcar vehicle carrying gliders made further development of the idea unnecessary.
Now the existing technology could be applied and upgraded..................the time is now...............by reviving Sutch a concept we could vastly reduce road traffic congestion, and just imagine, not being on a ROAD, the Labor government could not use and apply a road tax, nor could any other existing government of England.Also,consider the versatility,adaptability, of said type of aero-car or similar engineering marvel, why house could be built with elevated platforms to accommodate the car.in suitable times, flooding for example, on hearing of impending floods, the car could be flown to the roof barn shelter,(door in it's roof), and there housed, so when flood conditions are in effect, the aero car could fly one out to safety. Also further increasing adaptability, engineer said aero car such that it is amphibious in abilities, thus being useful as a boat should the flood creep up on one and one has not flown the aero car to roof shelter. And, yet more, yes, it's ability to be used in Venice like city conditions, where cities have been walled in WITH water and adapted since the situations are ridiculously beyond control, such as say, New Orleans, and English midlands town,cities,villages so often hit by flooding that the Labour government keep insisting will not make their usual yearly return or two. And now after having gotten this far in my proposal, you realize that it's certainly not a taxing engineering idea,but a great all sound all-rounder!!
Secret Squirrel,
MRL,
Minister for Re-Deranged Re-Engineering.
*****************************************************************
A Sound Project, Re-Discovered, Re-Engineered.
Hafner Rotabuggy Flying Jeep
The work of the Airborne Forces Experimental Establishment at Ringway, Manchester, on the Rotachute from 1940 onwards led to the suggestion that the free-wheeling autogyro principles employed could also be applied to larger loads. The designer, Raoul Hafner, suggested the Rotabuggy, a Jeep (or "Blitz Buggy") with rotors, and the Rotatank, a similarly modified Valentine tank. A development contract was placed with the M.L. Aviation Company at White Waltham in 1942, covered by specification 10/42.
Preliminary tests involved loading a Jeep with concrete and dropping it from heights of up to 7 ft. 8 in. (2.35 m.), demonstrating that the standard vehicle could survive undamaged from impacts of up to 11g. A 46 ft. 8 in. (12.4 m.) dia. two-blade rotor was then fitted, as well as a streamlined tail fairing with twin rudderless fins. Other additions were perspex door panels, a 'hanging' rotor control next to the steering wheel and a rotor tachometer and glider navigational instruments.
The Rotabuggy, camouflaged, carrying RAF roundels and a prototype "P", was tow tested behind a 4½ litre supercharged Bentley, and achieved gliding speeds of up to 65 mph (105 km/h) IAS.
The first flight was made on November 16, 1943. Later, some flights were made behind a Whitley bomber from Sherbourne-in-Elmet.
Of course, this sound project must be reinstated. It combines the easily manufactured mass produced and versatile jeep, and helicopter, in short saving money in and personnel in assembly and manufacture lines. Jeeps can carry all sorts of light guns and where with all, that helicopters at present carry, but yet won't require complex and diversified assembly and manufacture, in short a Swiss Army Knife of Helicopter Jeeps can be created much more easily in modern times! Indeed in this age of austerity, Britain will be easily able to afford helicopters, all types of helicopters, based on a simple jeep helicopter base platform, just as on finds at a vehicular dealership, here's your car, add the options, here's your helijeep, add the weapon systems!For yet greater versatility, this revived project will be morphed into using an existing amphibious jeep chassis-the ultimate in versatility!!
Now as a further extension of the project, regard this Soviet engineering attempt.
The Antonov KT (Kr'lya Tanka) - also referred to as the A-40 or A-T - was developed in 1940 by the skilled designer of weight-carrying gliders, Oleg Konstantinovich Antonov. The aim was to test the viability of the idea of supplying partisan forces with light tanks to harass the enemy's lines of communication.
A T-60 light tank provided the 'fuselage' of the unit, the unlocked tracks being the 'landing gear'. An unstaggered biplane wing of plywood and fabric was attached, together with a pair of tail booms with twin vertical surfaces and a high-mounted single horizontal surface. The aerodynamic controls comprised a single lever operating all flying surfaces from the driver's position. The flying surfaces were to be jettisoned directly on landing.
The unit was towed by a heavy bomber such as the Petlyakov Pe-8 or Tupolev TB-3. Whilst Western sources say the KT never left the ground, Soviet sources say a single successful flight was made in 1941 or 1942. With only limited official support, the program was canceled shortly after that time. England, not to be outdone, had a autogyro project in the works, involving the use of a Valentine tank. Sadly, this idea was not proceeded with, no doubt the effects of those tampering with proper engineers,those whose jealousy of sound engineering ideas resulted in the suppression of the engineers and their ideas.
However, we know better nowadays, at least we in the MRL do, and so we can combine this idea with that of our flying amphibious jeep. In short, to the flying jeep add a recoilless rifle.I should add that this idea worked well and was in actual fact used, a recoilless rifle integrated in the chassis of a motor scooter,truly innovative at the time, and an engineering project that worked in theory and in practice as well.Further versatility added by making said vehicle,amphibious.Now the English army has a truly useful vehicle, a vehicle replacing many items being all in one as it were, replacing amphibious vehicle,jeep transport,gun equipped helicopter-bomber,tank............does Labour develop such a vehicle............no........nor the Tories either for that matter. Nay, only the MRL has the for sight,the intelligence, to concept such a marvelous vehicle.
This turns our utility vehicle, suitable for carrying troops,equipment etc in to a combat zone, flying,swimming or driving, into a flying,swimming or driving light tank as well...........the penultimate in engineering versatility.
Sutch is the way, England must proceed with our backsides to the future................ever forwards by going backwards!!!
Realizing that funding may not be at hand, I propose we do what America did, by not really declaring war on Iraq,and thence invading it in it's version of a benevolent war of liberation. Here we note that America found over a hundred billion dollars it needed but didn't have.I propose instead to do the same,somewhat, and fund the projects by declaring war on France.I'm willing to negotiate, I'm flexible, perhaps a war against Holland, or perhaps Denmark would be easier. If not, we'll have to invade Jersey,just quietly, not tell them, merely go as disguised tourists,not damage anything or anyone, merely touristing about, spending thither and yon, and then returning. Once home we can declare it a successful invading war of liberation and have billions available to spend as we will. Of course, this being the way of the world, then let's invade France,Denmark,Holland, and Jersey as well, and we'll have millions of billions available for project fundings!!!!
Secret Squirrel,
M.R.L.
Minister For Re-Deranged Re-Engineering.
****************************************************************
Floods
M.R.L. Flooding Solution
The government is in crisis, England is in crisis, England is flooding, and the government is England's crisis. Recent vents of flooding in Britain have touched me deeply, saddened me, disheartened me, having seen the vicious flooding in America's formerly Great City of New Orleans, and pondered the effects on the people of Britain. Indeed utter destruction was wrought in New Orleans, and was wrought in England as well.............no assistance was rendered, the people left to fend for themselves.
New Orleans was entirely the fault of a laggard American government, ignoring the pleas of the Mayor
and Citizenry alike, to expand,improve,shore up,renew and/or build new and more solid levees,quite simply, dyke structures. Britain's flooding is also the fault of a government laggard in it's behaviour, doing nothing to remedy the situation,the problems have continued to flood through governments past and present, as water through an American dyke. However there is engineering genius to be considered,British ingenuity, the adaptability of the British people in the face of adversity, all in the face of laggardly,inept, and ignorant governments which have allowed the problem to exist.
However, the problem can be solved quite easily with proper application of modern engineering techniques already existent.Indeed, I have THE solution.
It struck me quite plainly as I gazed on an amazing waterway,canal system, in Germany. I suddenly realized that one waterway crossed over the other, as a flyover, an overpass, one canal crossing above the other...............a canalway, in the sky, and in the ground. Well,here in Britain the idea will fly but the M.R.L. is more down to earth as are the engineering projects I endeavour to present. You see what needs be done is to live with both flood and non flood conditions. How? Well the German canal system is illustrative of this, it works, it's hardly leaking and collapsing as so many American unnecessary water canal projects do.Ours,however,is necessary. What we have to do, in each village and town, and interconnecting roadway, and within the towns, is to construct the roads themselves within walled dykes(I won't call the levees calling to mind the American travesty's of failed concrete walls). Now when it floods the water is contained within these canal roadways and channeled away when it's done, and back to dry road uses when it's gone. But how to live with this,how to maintain a dignified lifestyle? Well, quite simply it requires and adaptive change of lifestyle. All can be accommodated within any and all existent conditions, flood or no flood. Cars,vehicles, lorries, must now be of the amphibious type.
Recall the early amphicar,we all saw Branson's mucking about in one(no doubt a failed attempt to walk on water, the amphicar was as close as he could come).There are many varieties of such vehicles available. Look at the ingenious lorries the Cubans adapted to cross the sea to get to America. There are even yet amphi Recreational vehicles, allowing for caravan trips whilst in or out of flood conditions, indeed these can even be built as buses, for intercity, and in city transport of the population. Well now, we have accommodated transportation, business lorries, the common man's car, what of housing?
Well there are different approaches to actual housing for some may not prefer the amphi recreational bus vehicle. We can mount existing larger or smaller caravans, on barges(for those inclined to caravaning), and tether them to place,these will then rise and fall with the tide, or remain earthbound in event of non flood conditions,and so can still function as caravans in any and all conditions,allowing a waterworld,waterpark vacation in conditions of wet flood, and regular caravan camping in event of dry! Camp all around I should say! And,do! For those inclined to regular housing we can adapt as the Dutch have, with actual house type house boats, again tethering in place. What of larger edifices, well
the dying industry of cruise ships can be utilized and the ships transported to the flood areas and there they shall sit, or float depending on conditions,acting as buildings,apartments and whatever else form of other building is required.
Ah you say, what of air transit? Well, we do have, you know, existent, amphibious helicopters and yet aircraft of all types so each village can have it's own aerodromewaterport, no problem there at all.
There, we have covered it all, solved it all, and easily with modern existent technology.Indeed the M.R.L. excels and revels in solving the problem which past and present governments have utterly failed at.The M.R.L. solution! Good for you! Good for us!
Secret Squirrel,
M.R.L.
Minister For Re-Deranged Re-Engineering.
Showing posts with label tanks. Show all posts
Showing posts with label tanks. Show all posts
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Thursday, March 4, 2010
MRL Replaces Expensive & Ageing British Tanks
Keywords:
tanks,military,army,eunuchs,income,tax,collection,agency,fees,liquified,natural,gas,lng,lpg,floods,secret squirrel,new orleans,flooding
MRL Replacements For Expensive and Ageing British Tank Vehicles
Secret Squirrel has turned his attention to the fact that problems have arisen what with the logistics and attrition within the army with respect to tanks. The present ones areageing, falling apart, bottoms rusting through(they being made from only the highest of quality scrap and present day scrapped cars arescrap to being with), and the high cost of replacement. The enemy has tanks, should we have tanks? Well, not necessarily, the thing is to deal with the enemy tanks. What we do, is quite simply to go with the eco friendly hybrid golf carts. These are most definitely all
terrain vehicles what with their forced service about Britain's golf courses. Most definitely we mount the tiny and light anti-tankRPG's on the carts.The present day Arabs have proven that most definitely on of them can in fact take out an American Abrams(also a tank made from high quality scrap). These carts are manufactured only from the best of materials, due to the nature of those whom they transport round and about the golf courses of Britain and they are quite open,being cool for the desert,forest and jungle environments encountered on golf courses, can easily ford small streams, and being small and so open,are so quite difficult to sight on and hit,but not like the ease with which a large enemy tank could be sighted on and hit. Lighter version can also be made available, as Their
Majesty's military trend towards the versatile, with a bazooka instead of the RPG, or mortars, after the rocket launching fashion of
some military vehicles. Of course, the actual drivers and crews would be wearing the very latest in military body armor, and helmets, provided by an MRL government, should an MRL government be in power, instead of purchasing their own as the Labour government of the past has had the military do, in the backwards fashion of Britain's old military traditions. So out with the old, in with the new and so, now we of the MRL are all set to deal efficiently and cheaply with the enemy in an eco-friendly manner as well.
Early test models were developed, even yet shown in action, in tele series such as The Avengers,The Thirteenth Hole episode,there actually moving in the extremely harsh and varied environment of an English golf course,the only vehicle that can survive that harsh environment(in secret tests,confidentially,the French Leclerc Main Battle tank fell apart on the course, the Abrhams M1 tanks did manage to complete the course,albeit with the loss of loads of parts,but none of the crews could,hitting well in to the 300's and packing it in at nightfall).
Secret Squirrel,
MRL,
Minister For re-Deranged Re-Engineering.
..........................................................
...........
MRL System Of Fee Collection
Secret Squirrel says EUNUCH is EUNUCH.In Britain soon we shall see EUNUCHS feeing,that is collecting fees,income tax violations etc.
As I have been traveling the Indian Continent, admiring the ways of the Indians, not the American Indians, but ours, the Indians of the Indes,or India as it is known,or was if they haven't changed the name yet. In either case I have been studying Indian methods, in various fashions as I am want, engineering,medicine(they call their's sham'ns in preference to quacks, and people go about saying,"Sham'n,sham'n,sham'n," in place of "Quack,quack,quack"...............quacking making them unpopular due to bird flu,we may soon have to follow suit), interesting methods of medical filing, following still to this day much of our own, piles of jumbled papers on a desk). But I was most struck by their system of collecting things unpaid, such as taxes,dues,bills,and other fees.
What they do is send EUNUCHS, that's right EUNUCHS, you know, those without the where with all to have it all or any of it for that matter. In either case, these EUNUCHS, go about to the Offendi house, he or she that which owes, and there they camp out on the lawn, or wherever,surround the house, and then sing and dance round and about the house,and expose themselves until the Offendi pays its fees or pays them to go away(this is bribery,I know, but they learned that from the British Governmental rulers you know,that and how to beat us at cricket).In the obviously totally uncivilized colony of Canada they send someone with a sound truck to park outside the Offenders home, and there play at enormous volume levels, Celine Dion and Michel Buble cd's, until they beg for mercy and swear to pay up. In either case I propose for Britain, since the system works so grandly well, a similar well working system of EUNUCH fee collectors and repo men.
Secret Squirrel,
MRL,
Minister for Re-Deranged Re-Engineering.
.........................................
This is an MRL hands across the water welfare and engineering project right up America's alley......it helps them, and they'll help us, for in return for the idea patent and system patents, they can ship us a percentage cut of the resultant cheap and ever generated supply of LFG gases........
MRL Solves Liquified Gas Crisis
What with the crisis in the LPG(Liquified Petrolium Gas, or LNG,Liquified Natural Gas as it's related) area of the energy eco-system,Secret Squirrel has seen the need for a solution.
1) Look at the U.S. prison system what they call GitMo. Well that's fair then isn't it, we all can do it. We build similar versions in America, in areas as needed, and we house'em in these battey cages......................who......................Mexicans..................illegal Mexicans.......that's even better than the present inhabitants. The added plus is that it makes efficient use of Gitmo, actually generating return revenues,not just expenditures, and that they're housed then you know, in one place, not roaming the streets and alleys, and occupying abandonned buildings of America............
2) We create FART Banks,(Flatulant Air Retention Tanks), huge FART tanks, fields of fart tanks, just like we used to use for oil....matter of fact we simply clean'em out and use those since they're not being used for anything else presently.
3), We feed the now useful illegal Mexicans a very nutritious and generous bean diet.
4) Hoses from the battery cages to the tanks, via suitable sucking airfan collector fans(we can use the wind driven
generator fans even to power those,and be self-reliant at the collection end).
5) Use existing technology, LPG, (Liquified Petrolium Gas) tech to Liquify the gas so collected and tanked, an efficient LFG system(Liquified Fart
Gas), and all runs at the cost of beans!!!
Hey! Energy crisis solved!!! Problem is they may not want to feed Mexicans.
Secret Squirrel,
MRL,
Minister for Re-Deranged Re-Engineering.
.........................
Extending A Helping Hand.Yet Further. The MRL helps America solve it's problem with New Orleans..........
Secret Squirrel has seen New Orleans, and has reached out a helping hand to solve the flooding problem.In times of need,never let it be said that the M.R.L. wasn't there to help, wasn't there to give sound advice.Lake Pontchartrain may have left the Americans Pontchy,but we at the MRL are sound of mind and engineering principles and solutions, sound engineering solutions for all problems, all of the time. And we would be able to supply these solutions should we ever achieve power,governmental power, but as it is we must ever struggle to keep our heads above water. So what of it,let's look at America and it's problems, putting our own aside for the time being.
Flooding threatens New Orleans from three sources: the Mississippi River, Lake Pontchartrain, and natural rainfall.
All could be easily solved, by simply draining Lake Pontchartrain and filling in the canals that run through the city to serve as transport canal for rich boaters.But, Artificial levees have been,and were, built to supposedly keep out rising river and lake waters but have had the negative effect of keeping rainfall in.Naturally pumping,24 hours a day,work in New Orleans, pumping water from beneath the city,out,capable of pumping out the city entirely,of course is somebody is there to switch''em on and hasn't run for it. Of course, it has been determined that the city itself is sinking at a rate of 3 feet(one meter), per century. Well, what with all that water, the inability to keep it out, the levees helping to keep it in, it is our sworn duty to help our ungrateful American cousins. Indeed, we must here make recommendations to them. There lifestyle must change, but we have a solution for this change of life.
Firstly, all vehicles, must henceforth be of the amphibious variety. Of course, in keeping with the swinging lifestyle of those who were water inundated, we will also see to it that they have boats in every drive, for recreational use........far be it from me to suggest these are mere powered lifeboats(powered assuming they have gas available).
Housing..........well, you know..........their houses are flood destroyed wrecks, eaten by damp mold. Trailers are no substitute of course, since they wold simply float for a bit, then sink in the flooding. However, that has given me an idea for them................houseboats! Yes! Houseboats!! These must be made available to them. Indeed imagine, a houseboat would have solved their housing problem!!
Magnificent, no problem at all.
And what of the public transit? Well, we shall go with a recommended rail system within the city, indeed rail, submersibles on rails, submarines for those who haven't figured it out yet. Indeed these submarines will be outfitted with boogie,trucks, wheels for those who haven't figured it out. And they shall travel as they are want to, using their propellers, but running on rails just as the trolleys used to. You can see the well thought out solution here. Indeed a true submarine way....a subway.
And, what of air travel? Well, you know, amphibious aircraft, flying boats! Yes that's it!
An........for those rainy days, we could see to it that they are supplied with recreational gear, such as scuba diving outfits, chic and all the rage these will be! And for those who are perhaps less financially endowed, simple snorkel outfits will just have to do. Yes! It flies! The city of New Orleans is Fly! When wearing water wings.
Yes there it is Urban Planning,the MRL method, the scientific engineering approach to problem solving.Notice that here we attach no blame, no blame for the oversights in lifestyle selection by the Americans, only here we provide lifestyle suggestion, alternatives, sound alternatives, a solution for the problems at hand, and how to deal with them,how to swim through the problems life, the government hosers , inundate you with.
Improved levees? Note that we avoid these in our solution, why raise taxes, life in America is taxing enough.In our MRL solution we have no need of levees. Of course, if by levees being inadequate they mean Dutch style Dykes,well, then you should import French ones, avoid Norwegians they're surprisingly hairey.
Of course we have other suggestions for our American cousins, solutions to problems they have seen in Britain, that of governmental ownership of certain companies. They have suggested solutions to problems of said stated companies, and Britain has bowed to their suggestions and has followed them. Well, we in the MRL propose that they also follow their suggestions, that as they have suggested the privatization of British rail, we suggest the privatization of The Amtrak. As they have suggested the privatization of the British Post Office,we suggest the privatization of the American Post Office. As they have suggested the inclusion of the Sein Fein IRA in British government, so too must we suggest the inclusion of Al Kieda in the American government. Yes and as it was seen good for Americans to have Britain privatize it all, then so too must we see to it that the Americans privatize in great and proper fashion.And, as Britain has followed their suggestions, we are open to suggestion to have them follow their suggestions.
Any complaints can be dealt with privately,publicly,since the Pub is where all proper solutions come from..solutions! Oh well, if you haven't got a solution yet, wait for the next rain storm.
Secret Squirrel,
MRL,
Minister For Re-Deranged Re-Engineering.
............................................
Secret Squirrel And The Problem Of Non-British Foreign Rail
Well now, let's consider the problem what was, and is yet getting worse,that of rail travel,passenger rail travel. The U.S. government, had Britain privatize the rail system as it seems Britain couldn't manage a rail system in government hands. Indeed the Americans running their own government Amtrak, could see this problem and saw to it Britain cured it's efficient rail problems. Now Britain faces an interesting situation, a rail system it can't afford and manage and maintain for foreigners.
Indeed the rail system is in a shambles track-wise, foreigners owning it claiming they can't maintain the rails in suitable condition such as not to have trains run off the rails, they can't maintain the points(switches), in suitable safe conditions. Indeed more and more the British government of the people must provide them with money to do that and keep them in business.
Also those managing the signaling system have discovered the same dilemma, the government of the people of Britain must provide them with money to run the system such that the people owning the signaling can make a profit.
Now we turn to other matters, those owning the rolling stock.Here we encounter conditions such that cars are a problem for the foreigners owning them, and they don't wish to buy new ones, and the government of the people must yet again supply them with money so that they can maintain their cars, and run at a profit, and indeed provide them with money for new cars for the same reasons.
Now, on to the motive power of the system, those who own the engines which pull the trains. So, they also have a dilemma of shoddy equipment, require money to maintain the equipment, recondition the engines, and also ,of course, purchase new engines, being constantly supplied with money by the government of the people of Britain so that said foreign engine owning firm can make a profit.
At the same time train fares are constantly increased, with claims on some lines that it costs too much for extra cars for the riders, whilst on yet other areas of the lines there are insufficient riders,such that rail fares must be increased so that the foreign companies owning things can make a profit.
Well now, Britain never had those problems before. But consider now the final and ultimate solution. Britain buys it all back at what it was sold for. Why? Well, because the firms can't make a profit, so they're bankrupt so the system being bought back would effectively save said foreign companies losses. In it's entirety,Britain could now return to running an efficient rail system for the people of Britain.
So they won't allow it eh? Well, the business world is a cruel world, we simply buy up the rail tracks and all, just the rail route. And that's it, tell the other foreigners with Britain's rail signaling equipment, and rolling stock, and engines.................to go chuck it all. From British Rail, we got to British Roads.Face it, they're gone, bankrupt when the British government refuses also to fund them. Done, the tracks are ours.
We have an option,buy their bankrupt equipment and systems cheaply, and start business up again! Huzzah!
Now was it all too expensive in the first place? Well, if it was, it still is, so what's cheaper then. Quite simply we rip up all the rails. We keep the roadbed routes, we convert those to roads, BUS ONLY ROADS. Indeed, we run the system as a bus line. Buses. Buses going back and forth in their own reserved and proper lane, changing at switch points without needs of signaling or points nor points equipment. Imagine. Problem of transportation solved. And...................we don't pay foreigners to thieve from the people of Britain.
Secret Squirrel,
MRL,
Minister For Re-Deranged Re-Engineering.
............................................................
Solved By Secret Squirrel,Solved by the MRL.................!!!!!!!!!!!
Branson's Challenge Met
Well,well,well.British tycoon Sir Richard Branson, announced a 25million$U.S. prize for the first scientist to come up with a way to extract greenhouse gases from the atmosphere. Now, in similar fashion there was a quest launched in 1675 to devise a method of estimating longitude accurately(they weren't interested in latitude, no,no, that's much too loose behaviour there). Well, English clock maker John Harrison came up with a method after 60 years, and received his prize from King George III. Branson stated "...............the earth cannot wait 60 years......".
Well no it can't wait 60 years, and doesn't have to and I want my prize in small bills thank-you, in a suitcase, packed so I can leave the colony of Canada wherein I am presently trapped. Now, the method is easy, and sound, and works in practice, and in theory and is readily provable so I won't have to wait 60 years to claim it. In theory and in practice over here in the colony we filter our water in charcoal filters, the charcoal filter removes impurities within the water, particulates, and also the soluble gases such as chlorine. Now I fully realize here we are dealing with a liquid filter, but the principle is very much the same for a gas.Some have stated that the major problem is fart gas produced by cows, well cow farting can be solved in the same fashion as will be here outlined, but, on average, a person produces about half a liter of fart gas per day, and given the ever increasing human population of earth, this is the other end of the fart gas problem, so......
Curiously we have noticed, that certain of the rich classes such as are represented by such as Paris Hilton,Lindsay Lohan, Jay-Lo(or is it Loo),Britney Spears have all been seen and caught by cameras, as wearing no underpants. It has also been noted that this fad is not new, but actually began when Global Warming was first noticed as being a problem, a problem caused by the emission of hot gases.Similarly by corollary it is to be assumed that male richie riches are also not wearing underwear. Well I must be cheeky, but quite simply, they all simply MUST wear underpants,man,woman and cow,(let's not forget the sheep), thence the farts, foul ozone depleting and destructive gases, will thence also be trapped in the usual filter underwear. These underpants can then be dealt with in a suitable rubbish bin, or for those poorer, simply washed for reuse. The washing for reuse method is highly recommended in that any trapped gases would thence be dissolved in water and so flushed and filtered in through the water sanitation sewage system. And, in shorts, to put it briefly, the atmosphere and we would be saved, earth would be saved!!! Huzzah!Huzzah!Huzzah! Three cheers for me, now kindly send the money.
Secret Squirrel,
MRL,
Minister For Re-Deranged-Re-Engineering.
tanks,military,army,eunuchs,income,tax,collection,agency,fees,liquified,natural,gas,lng,lpg,floods,secret squirrel,new orleans,flooding
MRL Replacements For Expensive and Ageing British Tank Vehicles
Secret Squirrel has turned his attention to the fact that problems have arisen what with the logistics and attrition within the army with respect to tanks. The present ones areageing, falling apart, bottoms rusting through(they being made from only the highest of quality scrap and present day scrapped cars arescrap to being with), and the high cost of replacement. The enemy has tanks, should we have tanks? Well, not necessarily, the thing is to deal with the enemy tanks. What we do, is quite simply to go with the eco friendly hybrid golf carts. These are most definitely all
terrain vehicles what with their forced service about Britain's golf courses. Most definitely we mount the tiny and light anti-tankRPG's on the carts.The present day Arabs have proven that most definitely on of them can in fact take out an American Abrams(also a tank made from high quality scrap). These carts are manufactured only from the best of materials, due to the nature of those whom they transport round and about the golf courses of Britain and they are quite open,being cool for the desert,forest and jungle environments encountered on golf courses, can easily ford small streams, and being small and so open,are so quite difficult to sight on and hit,but not like the ease with which a large enemy tank could be sighted on and hit. Lighter version can also be made available, as Their
Majesty's military trend towards the versatile, with a bazooka instead of the RPG, or mortars, after the rocket launching fashion of
some military vehicles. Of course, the actual drivers and crews would be wearing the very latest in military body armor, and helmets, provided by an MRL government, should an MRL government be in power, instead of purchasing their own as the Labour government of the past has had the military do, in the backwards fashion of Britain's old military traditions. So out with the old, in with the new and so, now we of the MRL are all set to deal efficiently and cheaply with the enemy in an eco-friendly manner as well.
Early test models were developed, even yet shown in action, in tele series such as The Avengers,The Thirteenth Hole episode,there actually moving in the extremely harsh and varied environment of an English golf course,the only vehicle that can survive that harsh environment(in secret tests,confidentially,the French Leclerc Main Battle tank fell apart on the course, the Abrhams M1 tanks did manage to complete the course,albeit with the loss of loads of parts,but none of the crews could,hitting well in to the 300's and packing it in at nightfall).
Secret Squirrel,
MRL,
Minister For re-Deranged Re-Engineering.
..........................................................
...........
MRL System Of Fee Collection
Secret Squirrel says EUNUCH is EUNUCH.In Britain soon we shall see EUNUCHS feeing,that is collecting fees,income tax violations etc.
As I have been traveling the Indian Continent, admiring the ways of the Indians, not the American Indians, but ours, the Indians of the Indes,or India as it is known,or was if they haven't changed the name yet. In either case I have been studying Indian methods, in various fashions as I am want, engineering,medicine(they call their's sham'ns in preference to quacks, and people go about saying,"Sham'n,sham'n,sham'n," in place of "Quack,quack,quack"...............quacking making them unpopular due to bird flu,we may soon have to follow suit), interesting methods of medical filing, following still to this day much of our own, piles of jumbled papers on a desk). But I was most struck by their system of collecting things unpaid, such as taxes,dues,bills,and other fees.
What they do is send EUNUCHS, that's right EUNUCHS, you know, those without the where with all to have it all or any of it for that matter. In either case, these EUNUCHS, go about to the Offendi house, he or she that which owes, and there they camp out on the lawn, or wherever,surround the house, and then sing and dance round and about the house,and expose themselves until the Offendi pays its fees or pays them to go away(this is bribery,I know, but they learned that from the British Governmental rulers you know,that and how to beat us at cricket).In the obviously totally uncivilized colony of Canada they send someone with a sound truck to park outside the Offenders home, and there play at enormous volume levels, Celine Dion and Michel Buble cd's, until they beg for mercy and swear to pay up. In either case I propose for Britain, since the system works so grandly well, a similar well working system of EUNUCH fee collectors and repo men.
Secret Squirrel,
MRL,
Minister for Re-Deranged Re-Engineering.
.........................................
This is an MRL hands across the water welfare and engineering project right up America's alley......it helps them, and they'll help us, for in return for the idea patent and system patents, they can ship us a percentage cut of the resultant cheap and ever generated supply of LFG gases........
MRL Solves Liquified Gas Crisis
What with the crisis in the LPG(Liquified Petrolium Gas, or LNG,Liquified Natural Gas as it's related) area of the energy eco-system,Secret Squirrel has seen the need for a solution.
1) Look at the U.S. prison system what they call GitMo. Well that's fair then isn't it, we all can do it. We build similar versions in America, in areas as needed, and we house'em in these battey cages......................who......................Mexicans..................illegal Mexicans.......that's even better than the present inhabitants. The added plus is that it makes efficient use of Gitmo, actually generating return revenues,not just expenditures, and that they're housed then you know, in one place, not roaming the streets and alleys, and occupying abandonned buildings of America............
2) We create FART Banks,(Flatulant Air Retention Tanks), huge FART tanks, fields of fart tanks, just like we used to use for oil....matter of fact we simply clean'em out and use those since they're not being used for anything else presently.
3), We feed the now useful illegal Mexicans a very nutritious and generous bean diet.
4) Hoses from the battery cages to the tanks, via suitable sucking airfan collector fans(we can use the wind driven
generator fans even to power those,and be self-reliant at the collection end).
5) Use existing technology, LPG, (Liquified Petrolium Gas) tech to Liquify the gas so collected and tanked, an efficient LFG system(Liquified Fart
Gas), and all runs at the cost of beans!!!
Hey! Energy crisis solved!!! Problem is they may not want to feed Mexicans.
Secret Squirrel,
MRL,
Minister for Re-Deranged Re-Engineering.
.........................
Extending A Helping Hand.Yet Further. The MRL helps America solve it's problem with New Orleans..........
Secret Squirrel has seen New Orleans, and has reached out a helping hand to solve the flooding problem.In times of need,never let it be said that the M.R.L. wasn't there to help, wasn't there to give sound advice.Lake Pontchartrain may have left the Americans Pontchy,but we at the MRL are sound of mind and engineering principles and solutions, sound engineering solutions for all problems, all of the time. And we would be able to supply these solutions should we ever achieve power,governmental power, but as it is we must ever struggle to keep our heads above water. So what of it,let's look at America and it's problems, putting our own aside for the time being.
Flooding threatens New Orleans from three sources: the Mississippi River, Lake Pontchartrain, and natural rainfall.
All could be easily solved, by simply draining Lake Pontchartrain and filling in the canals that run through the city to serve as transport canal for rich boaters.But, Artificial levees have been,and were, built to supposedly keep out rising river and lake waters but have had the negative effect of keeping rainfall in.Naturally pumping,24 hours a day,work in New Orleans, pumping water from beneath the city,out,capable of pumping out the city entirely,of course is somebody is there to switch''em on and hasn't run for it. Of course, it has been determined that the city itself is sinking at a rate of 3 feet(one meter), per century. Well, what with all that water, the inability to keep it out, the levees helping to keep it in, it is our sworn duty to help our ungrateful American cousins. Indeed, we must here make recommendations to them. There lifestyle must change, but we have a solution for this change of life.
Firstly, all vehicles, must henceforth be of the amphibious variety. Of course, in keeping with the swinging lifestyle of those who were water inundated, we will also see to it that they have boats in every drive, for recreational use........far be it from me to suggest these are mere powered lifeboats(powered assuming they have gas available).
Housing..........well, you know..........their houses are flood destroyed wrecks, eaten by damp mold. Trailers are no substitute of course, since they wold simply float for a bit, then sink in the flooding. However, that has given me an idea for them................houseboats! Yes! Houseboats!! These must be made available to them. Indeed imagine, a houseboat would have solved their housing problem!!
Magnificent, no problem at all.
And what of the public transit? Well, we shall go with a recommended rail system within the city, indeed rail, submersibles on rails, submarines for those who haven't figured it out yet. Indeed these submarines will be outfitted with boogie,trucks, wheels for those who haven't figured it out. And they shall travel as they are want to, using their propellers, but running on rails just as the trolleys used to. You can see the well thought out solution here. Indeed a true submarine way....a subway.
And, what of air travel? Well, you know, amphibious aircraft, flying boats! Yes that's it!
An........for those rainy days, we could see to it that they are supplied with recreational gear, such as scuba diving outfits, chic and all the rage these will be! And for those who are perhaps less financially endowed, simple snorkel outfits will just have to do. Yes! It flies! The city of New Orleans is Fly! When wearing water wings.
Yes there it is Urban Planning,the MRL method, the scientific engineering approach to problem solving.Notice that here we attach no blame, no blame for the oversights in lifestyle selection by the Americans, only here we provide lifestyle suggestion, alternatives, sound alternatives, a solution for the problems at hand, and how to deal with them,how to swim through the problems life, the government hosers , inundate you with.
Improved levees? Note that we avoid these in our solution, why raise taxes, life in America is taxing enough.In our MRL solution we have no need of levees. Of course, if by levees being inadequate they mean Dutch style Dykes,well, then you should import French ones, avoid Norwegians they're surprisingly hairey.
Of course we have other suggestions for our American cousins, solutions to problems they have seen in Britain, that of governmental ownership of certain companies. They have suggested solutions to problems of said stated companies, and Britain has bowed to their suggestions and has followed them. Well, we in the MRL propose that they also follow their suggestions, that as they have suggested the privatization of British rail, we suggest the privatization of The Amtrak. As they have suggested the privatization of the British Post Office,we suggest the privatization of the American Post Office. As they have suggested the inclusion of the Sein Fein IRA in British government, so too must we suggest the inclusion of Al Kieda in the American government. Yes and as it was seen good for Americans to have Britain privatize it all, then so too must we see to it that the Americans privatize in great and proper fashion.And, as Britain has followed their suggestions, we are open to suggestion to have them follow their suggestions.
Any complaints can be dealt with privately,publicly,since the Pub is where all proper solutions come from..solutions! Oh well, if you haven't got a solution yet, wait for the next rain storm.
Secret Squirrel,
MRL,
Minister For Re-Deranged Re-Engineering.
............................................
Secret Squirrel And The Problem Of Non-British Foreign Rail
Well now, let's consider the problem what was, and is yet getting worse,that of rail travel,passenger rail travel. The U.S. government, had Britain privatize the rail system as it seems Britain couldn't manage a rail system in government hands. Indeed the Americans running their own government Amtrak, could see this problem and saw to it Britain cured it's efficient rail problems. Now Britain faces an interesting situation, a rail system it can't afford and manage and maintain for foreigners.
Indeed the rail system is in a shambles track-wise, foreigners owning it claiming they can't maintain the rails in suitable condition such as not to have trains run off the rails, they can't maintain the points(switches), in suitable safe conditions. Indeed more and more the British government of the people must provide them with money to do that and keep them in business.
Also those managing the signaling system have discovered the same dilemma, the government of the people of Britain must provide them with money to run the system such that the people owning the signaling can make a profit.
Now we turn to other matters, those owning the rolling stock.Here we encounter conditions such that cars are a problem for the foreigners owning them, and they don't wish to buy new ones, and the government of the people must yet again supply them with money so that they can maintain their cars, and run at a profit, and indeed provide them with money for new cars for the same reasons.
Now, on to the motive power of the system, those who own the engines which pull the trains. So, they also have a dilemma of shoddy equipment, require money to maintain the equipment, recondition the engines, and also ,of course, purchase new engines, being constantly supplied with money by the government of the people of Britain so that said foreign engine owning firm can make a profit.
At the same time train fares are constantly increased, with claims on some lines that it costs too much for extra cars for the riders, whilst on yet other areas of the lines there are insufficient riders,such that rail fares must be increased so that the foreign companies owning things can make a profit.
Well now, Britain never had those problems before. But consider now the final and ultimate solution. Britain buys it all back at what it was sold for. Why? Well, because the firms can't make a profit, so they're bankrupt so the system being bought back would effectively save said foreign companies losses. In it's entirety,Britain could now return to running an efficient rail system for the people of Britain.
So they won't allow it eh? Well, the business world is a cruel world, we simply buy up the rail tracks and all, just the rail route. And that's it, tell the other foreigners with Britain's rail signaling equipment, and rolling stock, and engines.................to go chuck it all. From British Rail, we got to British Roads.Face it, they're gone, bankrupt when the British government refuses also to fund them. Done, the tracks are ours.
We have an option,buy their bankrupt equipment and systems cheaply, and start business up again! Huzzah!
Now was it all too expensive in the first place? Well, if it was, it still is, so what's cheaper then. Quite simply we rip up all the rails. We keep the roadbed routes, we convert those to roads, BUS ONLY ROADS. Indeed, we run the system as a bus line. Buses. Buses going back and forth in their own reserved and proper lane, changing at switch points without needs of signaling or points nor points equipment. Imagine. Problem of transportation solved. And...................we don't pay foreigners to thieve from the people of Britain.
Secret Squirrel,
MRL,
Minister For Re-Deranged Re-Engineering.
............................................................
Solved By Secret Squirrel,Solved by the MRL.................!!!!!!!!!!!
Branson's Challenge Met
Well,well,well.British tycoon Sir Richard Branson, announced a 25million$U.S. prize for the first scientist to come up with a way to extract greenhouse gases from the atmosphere. Now, in similar fashion there was a quest launched in 1675 to devise a method of estimating longitude accurately(they weren't interested in latitude, no,no, that's much too loose behaviour there). Well, English clock maker John Harrison came up with a method after 60 years, and received his prize from King George III. Branson stated "...............the earth cannot wait 60 years......".
Well no it can't wait 60 years, and doesn't have to and I want my prize in small bills thank-you, in a suitcase, packed so I can leave the colony of Canada wherein I am presently trapped. Now, the method is easy, and sound, and works in practice, and in theory and is readily provable so I won't have to wait 60 years to claim it. In theory and in practice over here in the colony we filter our water in charcoal filters, the charcoal filter removes impurities within the water, particulates, and also the soluble gases such as chlorine. Now I fully realize here we are dealing with a liquid filter, but the principle is very much the same for a gas.Some have stated that the major problem is fart gas produced by cows, well cow farting can be solved in the same fashion as will be here outlined, but, on average, a person produces about half a liter of fart gas per day, and given the ever increasing human population of earth, this is the other end of the fart gas problem, so......
Curiously we have noticed, that certain of the rich classes such as are represented by such as Paris Hilton,Lindsay Lohan, Jay-Lo(or is it Loo),Britney Spears have all been seen and caught by cameras, as wearing no underpants. It has also been noted that this fad is not new, but actually began when Global Warming was first noticed as being a problem, a problem caused by the emission of hot gases.Similarly by corollary it is to be assumed that male richie riches are also not wearing underwear. Well I must be cheeky, but quite simply, they all simply MUST wear underpants,man,woman and cow,(let's not forget the sheep), thence the farts, foul ozone depleting and destructive gases, will thence also be trapped in the usual filter underwear. These underpants can then be dealt with in a suitable rubbish bin, or for those poorer, simply washed for reuse. The washing for reuse method is highly recommended in that any trapped gases would thence be dissolved in water and so flushed and filtered in through the water sanitation sewage system. And, in shorts, to put it briefly, the atmosphere and we would be saved, earth would be saved!!! Huzzah!Huzzah!Huzzah! Three cheers for me, now kindly send the money.
Secret Squirrel,
MRL,
Minister For Re-Deranged-Re-Engineering.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)