Secret Squirrel Makes War Much Easier On The Populations Of The World.

   Secret Squirrel has seen the horrors of the day
developing, emerging, evolving, war being very much like the Alien Xenomorph. He's seen two ridiculous fat men circling,taunting and screaming at each other, (Donald Trump and Kim Jung Un) threatening nuclear war. This displeases Squirrel enormously since Squirrel has pondered and noted that Trump and Kim Jong Un are both working towards and want war, nuclear war evidently. Squirrel has pondered, "I'm gonna die! I'm gonna die! I'm doomed! I'm DOOMED! They taught me up here in school, I have to crawl under a desk, and sniff Rhoda's behind! I don't HAVE a desk, and Rhoda's in Montreal! I'm gonna die! I'm gonna die! I'm DOOMED! I'm DOOMED!" Yes, this displeases Squirrel very very much.

     Well, what of war? Total war became the norm only a few centuries ago.  In medieval times, with exceptions, wars were between combatants.  Civilian populations were left to themselves, except perhaps to raid their farms for food.  In wars of conquest destroying producers and productive assets was counterproductive.

As I say, there were exceptions.  One was the Mongols, who eradicated entire populations.  They valued empty pasture over settlements.

In ancient times armies could be quite brutal, but the term "total war" came into use to describe the difference between modern and medieval war, which had become the norm.

The American Civil War was total war on the North's part.  The civilian population was deliberately targeted, most notably in Sherman's march to the sea.  One northern newspaper editorialized:

 “When the rebellious traitors [Southern secessionists] are overwhelmed in the field . . . it must not be to return to peaceful and contented homes.  They must find poverty at their firesides, and see privation in the anxious eyes of mothers, and the rags of children.”

Another paper “calls .  . for the punishment of all individuals at the South, by hanging, and the confiscation of everyone’s property. ”  Richmond “must be laid in ashes.”  Baltimore “must become a heap of cinders and ashes”  and “its inhabitants ‘ought either to be slaughtered, or scattered to the winds . . .” Virginia and Maryland “deserve to be laid waste and made desolate.”

The fire bombing of Dresden in WWII was designed to terrorize the civilian population of Germany by killing many of them.  Likewise that atomic bombs at Nagasaki and Hiroshima.

It's sometimes claimed that democracies don't go to war with each other.  Nonsense.  When they do, total war is the norm.

When kings ruled the lands wars were between them, for limited objectives.  They paid from their own treasuries (though at times augmented by taxation of the people).  Citizens were otherwise irrelevant, except for those young who might callously picture war as an adventure and enlist (or be shanghaied) into the military..  Trade went on mostly as usual even across national borders.

In democratic systems the entire populace is theoretically responsible for the war, having elected the leaders.  Propaganda is put forth to convince them of the rightness of the cause.  The industrial capacity of the nation is commandeered for war production.  The people are to not trade with the enemy.  They're expected to hail the combatants as heroes, and castigate the other side's combatants as cowards.

Some recent wars don't quite fit the pattern, only because they have been relatively small.  It may be total war in Afghanistan, but with a voluntary military many Americans can see such actions as remote and irrelevant to their daily lives.
total war.........According to Karl von Clausewitz, war is "the continuation of politics by other means"....some would say a failure of politics, but then obviously throughout the ages, politicians have most definitely been utter failures much as they still are yet today.

The war is the way to conflict, more serious socio-political conflict between two or more groups. It is perhaps one of the most ancient of all international relations, even if it becomes a phenomenon particularly with the beginning of civilizations. It is the organized confrontation of human armed groups, with the purpose of controlling human or natural resources, or disarmament, submission and, where applicable, destruction of the enemy, and are produced by multiple causes, among which tend to be the maintenance or replacement of power relations, resolve economic or territorial disputes.
In political science and international relations, the war is a political instrument, to the service of a State or another organization with political purposes.

The word war has Germanic origin, "werra", which means fight, discord, tumult. And the term refers to the struggle or armed conflict between two or more Nations or sides of one nation; as well as combat, dissent among two or more people.
The war has been a habitual means of problem solving among groups throughout our centuries. A war begins when you leave the dialog and appears violence; all with the aim of submitting to others, which is transformed into "enemy" to our will.
A war unfold a series of ideological, political, social, economic, and military; many are the reasons for it include the lust for power of the person or group, own a territory, religious or moral issues, etc.
When a war takes place as well know groups loaded weapons, that today have evolved and are more dangerous for humanity; Science and technology allows the use of new weapons and materials, nor can forget the refinement of methods of espionage and logistics systems and communication.
There are many consequences bringing the wars, one of them are great human and material, serious losses and serious political and economic disruptions sometimes lack of food, medicines, clothing and housing, among other consequences.
The war can refer to many types, we have the civil war, which occurs between opposite sides of a country; the world war, which is a military confrontation involving countries from different continents; the holy war, where religious grounds into action.
Chemical warfare, where there is the use of chemicals that can disperse over wide expanses in the form of dust, gases, vapors or aerosols, damaging the health of the living being and the environment; nuclear war, which refers to the use of nuclear weapons; the dirty war, where it is employed coercive or violent illegal actions by the State or paramilitary groups, among others.

The war can be described as an armed struggle between two or more States, or between areas of the same country (civil war). Also called war the violent opposition between two or more people by different interests. What triggers a war are many, but most of the conflicts of humanity had origin in religious issues, as for example, the Crusades, or territorial expansions, such as the expansion of the Roman Empire, the conquest of America or the first world war. Other crucial issues of wars are the ambitions of power, or economic causes.
Two world wars events to mankind in the 20th century and determined the creation of the United Nations, to try to settle international conflicts and not become armed clashes. However the war is as old as man and threat with accompany him in his time on earth while it lasts.

 If not war, then what? What are nonviolent alternatives to war?

The technology and methodology of war has developed over several thousand years, particularly accelerating in the last century. The United States has numerous military academies and war colleges (for a list see here) and spends about $600 billion each year for weapons development, military training, and maintenance of a massive war machine. The world currently spends over one trillion dollars each year on military might. Sadly thence we see that war is a business,big business, and good for business. We also note that income tax was first started by William Pitt The Younger, to fund his Napoleonic Wars...and income tax and wars have continued to this day.

  Now I mentioned are there alternatives to war..well let's consider the 1965 Italian movie, The Tenth Victim....In the near future, big wars are avoided by giving individuals with violent tendencies a chance to kill in the Big Hunt. The Hunt is the most popular form of entertainment in the world and also attracts participants who are looking for fame and fortune. It includes ten rounds for each competitor, five as the hunters and five as the victims. The survivor of ten rounds becomes extremely wealthy and retires. Scenes switch between the pursuit, romance between a hunter and a victim, with a narrator explaining the rules and justification of the Hunt. Now consider Trump and Kim Jung Un running about just trying to kill each other...........well the two obese lards would certainly run about, run themselves thin, hiding no doubt.......and then, consider this, would either be actually willing to die for their respective countries, to go out and THEMSELVES risk death for either of their obese,jaded and somewhat mental ridiculous and warped views and sentiments? Hardly likely is it.

  Consider substituting a Tamagotchi War,
Tamagotchi was invented by Aki Maita for which she won the 1997 Ig Nobel Prize for economics. Tamagotchi is a keychain-sized virtual pet simulation game. The characters are colorful and simplistically designed creatures based on animals, objects, or people. Beginning with the 2004 Tamagotchi Plus/Connection, a second wave of Tamagotchi toys emerged, featuring a different graphic design by JINCO and gameplay which elaborated upon the first generations. However, the story behind the games remained the same: Tamagotchis are a small alien species that deposited an egg on Earth to see what life was like, and it is up to the player to raise the egg into an adult creature. The creature goes through several stages of growth, and will develop differently depending on the care the player provides, with better care resulting in an adult creature that is smarter, happier, and requires less attention. Gameplay can vary widely between models, and some models, such as TamagoChu, require little to no care from the player. For its current 2 decades, Tamagotchi has gained popularity worldwide....Consider them placed in a room,in a mansion with all needs provided and the first who's Tamagotchi dies, looses...that and their life. Again it's THEM isn't it, neither would like to risk themselves. WAR would be preferred by both.

    The how to satisfy their needs for wars,them NOT getting killed................and nobody getting killed at all? Would that be acceptable? To Them probably not, but how's about you consider Squirrel's solution to not having a messy war, by still having a war...of sorts.

     Now consider this........Paintball is a game developed in the 1980s in which players eliminate opponents from play by hitting them with dye-filled, breakable, oil and gelatin paintballs, or pellets, usually shot from a carbon dioxide or compressed air (Nitrogen) powered “paintball marker”. The game is regularly played at a sporting level with organized competition involving major tournaments, professional teams, and players. Games can be played on indoor or outdoor fields of varying sizes. A game field is scattered with natural or artificial terrain, which players use for tactical cover. Game types in paintball vary, but can include capture the flag, elimination, ammunition limits, defending or attacking a particular point or area, or capturing objects of interest hidden in the playing area. Depending on the variant played, games can last from seconds to hours, or even days in scenario play.

The legality of paintball varies among countries and regions. In most areas where regulated play is offered, players are required to wear protective masks, use barrel blocking safety equipment, and game rules are strictly enforced.MilSim ("Military Simulation") is a mode of play designed to create an experience closer to military reality, where the attainment of specific objectives is the most important aspect of the game.

MilSim addresses the logistics of combat, mission planning and execution, and dealing with limited resources and ammunition. Players are typically eliminated from the game when struck by paint. For aesthetic reasons, MilSim often uses airsoft guns rather than paintball guns, as their prominent hoppers appear unrealistic, however Airsoft pellets, being smaller caliber and fired at higher velocity, have an increased risk of player injury if the scenario involves high rates of fire or close range.

With the advent of shaped projectiles, such as the First Strike, and the resulting development of magazine fed markers, a considerable increase in range, accuracy and MILSIM realism was gained. Functionally speaking, magazine-fed markers are no different than any other paintball marker, with one exception. Instead of paintballs being gravity fed from a bulky hopper, which sits above the marker, shaped projectiles (or paintballs) are fed from a spring-loaded magazine from the bottom of the marker. The caliber of both the gravity fed and magazine fed markers are the same (.68 caliber) and the velocities are also generally the same. The increased range and accuracy of the shaped projectile comes from the higher ballistic coefficient that the shaped projectile has, and the gyroscopic spin imparted onto the projectile from a rifled barrel and fins on the projectile itself. Magazine fed markers and shaped projectiles have allowed marker designs to more closely approximate the styling and functionality of actual (real steel) firearms, which intern has given paintball a better avenue to compete with Airsoft in the MilSiM environment.

    You are getting Squirrel's idea now aren't you. You see each nation sends a properly appointed etc PAINTBALL TEAM.....to fight it out to the finish, according to the rules, whilst being watched and monitored. In the end, with the last man standing, untouched, THEIR team and nation etc would be the winner, and the desired,required outcome, be it territorial, technological or whatever would be fulfilled.
 Well, how's about that eh! Whot! Beats the mess,the destruction,the horrors, the caracsses of the populations,the destruction that is war! Much better all round isn't it.
    But would Kim Jung Un and Trump go for it, or would they and do they prefer............war...of any and all kinds...........think now. But here, Squirrel has provided an easy and painless and much less messy alternative to war.

 Secret Squirrel,
MRL, MP, Dunny On The Wold,
Minister For Re-Deranged Re-Engineering.

Secret Squirrel On The Validity Of Time Travel

Secret Squirrel has solid verifiable proof that time travel exists! It works! it's functional! It is! United Airlines Flight UA890, took off from Shanghai on 1st January,2017, and landed in San Francisco on 31st Dec, 2016. Why that's called time travel boy, time travel..............you see it works..............Secret Squirrel has proof.............it also proves that America is somewhat backward...............However from America, we could thence you see go forwards in time,going to Asia........that's time travel............it exists. You've just got to admit, Squirrel beats Stephen Hawking........

Secret Squirrel,
MRL,MP,Dunny On The Wold,
Minister For Re-Deranged Re-Engineering.

Secret Squirrel Spies An Economic Windfall In Foreign Currency Exchange And Sale

100 Trillion Zimbabwe Banknotes 2008 AA Series CIRCULATED
FOR SALE...........note the value sold at
$56.48
 2 to cart for $56.40 each and save 1%
 200 to cart for $53.95 each and save 5%

From the Great American Coin Company.........
Note the real value......
1 ZWD =0.00276319US dollars
1 USD = 361.900 ZWD
They're making an enormous profit selling Zimbabwe pounds you know,the math is most defiantely utterly enormous such that the computer expressed a cry for mercy and utterly refused to do any of the calculations at all, and this, imagine, an AMERICAN company......well now........tell me....why ever can't the Bank of England do this, why ever didn't the Bank Of England do this................?? There's money to be made, I Secret Squirrel (MRL,Monster Raving Loony Party, MP,Dunny On The Wold), have come to this conclusion, I Secret Squirrel KNOW this.why doesn't THE GOVERNMENT know and do this......sad sorry state of affairs it is.........Government in England, sad and sorry....clearly there is vast profit to be made buying up Zimbabwe bank notes, and then selling them for sound BRITISH pounds.............just look if the yanks can do it for US dollars so too can we..............
Secret Squirrel says we should...............and if and since the British government doesn't see the sense in doing this Secret Squirrel DOES! There profit to be made! Secret Squirrel is off to Zimbabwe to engineer a deal to buy up Zimbabwe dollars!!! Or pounds or whatever it is............

Secret Squirrel,
MRL,MP,Dunny On The Wold,
Minister For Re-Deranged Re-Engineering.

Secret Squirrel Ponders The World Of Toilet Paper Currencies.

 The U.S. Department of the Treasury first issued paper U.S. currency in 1862 to make up for the shortage of coins and to finance the Civil War.They discovered that printing presses could print up mass quantities of paper currency so long as the supply of paper and ink didn't run out, and then again when "recharged".....The Confederate dollar, often called a "Greyback", was first issued into circulation in April 1861,beating out the United States, BUT the USA discovered by declaring Confederate currency worthless it had NO value.....while stating theirs did, gave their currency value..........and so in the USA printed currency started from there.....first the Confederates, then the USA....The first paper notes were printed in denominations of 1 cent, 5 cents, 25 cents, and 50 cents. Then they discovered they could print higher and higher denominations...in short they just print money.
   Well now The U.S. Treasury decides to print money in the United States as it owns and operates printing presses.The Treasury Department is actually the entity responsible for printing paper currency and minting coins, overseeing the Bureau of Engraving and Printing, or BEP as they call it, and the U.S. Mint. As of August 2015, there is approximately $1.2 trillion in cash. Much of this is located overseas where, due to a lack of faith in local governance, U.S. dollars are used.When banks need cash, they request it from the Federal Reserve. The Federal Reserve electronically deposits it into the bank's account and charges the appropriate interest rate. When they have excess cash on hand, banks return it to the Federal Reserve, settling any accounts.
It can and does arbitrary amounts of dollars indefinitely without consequence, it can print enormous amounts just at the moment because there's currently an outsized demand for dollars which it's merely meeting. When banks need money it supplies the banks, and charges interest.......FED always print's USD as much as it wants, thanks to each and every nation in the world, who use USD for their trade , that way we all help USA to maintain the demand for USD high. Now In the USA they need money for wars and what ever and what have you's, the "President" etc decides they need so much money, they print up a Treasury Certificate for said what ever billions amount, the take it to The treasury Department as an I.O.U., they take it, place it on a pile of yet more of them, and print up the required amount, with the government promising to pay it's Treasury Department.The central bank(Treasury) is effectively financing the deficit of the federal government on a permanent basis by issuing large amounts of currency. So Squirrel discovered, on the internet, that there are rolls and rools of Toilet Paper printed up with US currency one them, some go cheap for 1$ bills, others, in the 100's(Ben Franklins). Well now isn't that all very interesting, Squirrel used to order from CHINA......toilet paper, with Celine Dion's face on it. Now money toilet paper, can be had for $3 a roll......270 sheets to a roll............so Ben Franklins at $100,that'd be $27000 per roll, US$. Now the US government prints it up and the toilet paper people print it up, but the toilet paper money is on fit to wipe your butt with, same value as Celine Dion on your toilet paper. When Dunny on the Wolds, initial independent nation surrounded by the colony of Canada was independent, the potato crop failed, not good when your currency is based on THE POTATO......however it went to a Principality, and then annexed itself to ENGLAND,becoming a rotten burrow requiring it's own MP,duly elected,a position held by myself,Secret Squirrel. Had I know I could then have printed up my own currency on toilet paper at 4800 rolls, at 3.75$ each...........things would've been different.........alas and alack, I was having Celine Dion's image printed on toilet paper a useless thing indeed except to wipe one's bottom with..but so it goes, and so too it goes with currency. The American Dollar is valued, by everyone, printed up just as so much quantified toilet paper, and IT has value, but NOT my bum wad toilet paper currency should I have it printed up......There's just no fairness in the world is there. So it is, Squirrel sits surrounded by piles of monetarily printed toilet paper rolls, that just nobody will accept as currency. No fairness in the world, just no fairness.....Squirrel, and the MRL must change all that.

Secret Squirrel,
MRL,MP,Dunny On The Wold,
Minister For Re-Derange Re-Engineering.

Secret Squirrel Advises The American Government How To Reduce It's National Debt To Zero AT ZERO Cost.

The America government, through not fault of it's own, has not consulted with Secret Squirrel on it's economy,nor has the British government for that matter......to their great detriment. However, in demonstrating Squirrel's sheer economic genius, Squirrel has decided, as an example of his great mental cunning, fortitude, intelligence, nay need I say cosmic genius to solve America's great national debt crisis.
Indeed Squirrel CAN SAY, and indeed does, that he has studied, directly ECONOMICS under John Kenneth Galbraith, writer of many many great economics works,and Economics advisor to President Kennedy, and under Dr. Sani, in Canada, one time Economics Advisor to the Canadian government. So knowing that you just know Squirrel has a solution to America's debt crisis.
Firstly I must explain the American economic system,financial system, based on the US dollar, on which the world seems to be dependent and uses as a marker of value of their currency. Indeed secondly, nations build up debts, great debts, and due to various debt factors their using the US dollar as standard economically, their currencies fluctuate against the dollar, dropping against,it, but never rising above it.....since it is the standard used.
Now in America, they use The American dollar, now as the United States builds debts, it needs money to run itself, and of course, it's very very many great foreign wars,pay for it's massive military, pay for it's massive government bulk etc, such that it cannot afford National Healthcare as other nations do. Well, when a government, the American government, runs out of money they have massively bloviationally fired crisis in government, in the end with much strainings and fartings, they agree........and the Government then prints up Treasury Certificates, with massive dollar amounts on them, an I.O.U. really is what it is, it then approaches the Federal Treasury with it, the treasury takes it, looks at the amount, and prints up the stated amounts of US dollars.
The Treasury certificate is thence placed away on a pile of other such certificates.Of course, the figures printed up add to the National Debt. So How will America solve it's now 19 trillion and mounting National Debt, how will it pay it off? With the printed certificate dollars GIVEN to other nations to pay off their debts?
No it seems not.....but that IS YET ONE WAY to pay off their national debt to other foreign nations, BUT the US government is loath to do this. So how is America to do it. Well in some ways exactly like that.......Now, figure this, there are 15 nations with debts in the TRILLIONS, the rest are in the paltry BILLIONS.
Now consider this, 19trillion, divided by the other debt ridden nations, over a trillion in debt,each, which total 14, gives 1.35trillion each.
Now picture this you American there, the American government goes to The Treasury..........not....what the government must do is go to each Nation of the 14 debt miscreants, and each MUST be told. This brings Hong Kong,Belgium.Australia to ZERO debt, Canada has then 100 Billion, Switzerland 300billion, China 380Billion, Singapore 400Billion, Spain 1 trillion, Italy 1.3 trillion, Japan 1.5trillion, Luxembourg 2.1billion, Germany 4.3trillion, France 4.4Trillion, UK 8trillion.........all other nations keep their debts as they are.
All he has to do, really without bothering with the print up currency process, is just present each nation with the certificate, pronounce their debt reduced by 1.35Trillion, and take back the certificate, indeed he need not print up certificates for each, just use that one in line for each, thence return to The Treasury Department, pronounce America's debt at ZERO, and burn all the existent and existing Treasury I.O.U. Certificates, and start again.
NOW all those 14 nations have been paid, their debts have been reduced, well they should be happy, and America, has really spent no money, and it's debt is thence at zero, and it should be happy, and can commence to increase again by the same rate and whatever and where ever.
The Treasury department can thence simply burn all those I.O.U. which have thence been paid on return to the united States from those 14 foreign nations which have had their debts reduced, and thence the I.O.U. Treasury Certificates can ALL be burned, and the system entirely restarted. It works............Squirrel has seen it. The USA now has ZERO debt having PAID out to those nations each 1.3 trillion lowering the US debt to absolutely zero.......The only problem the United States and it's dimwitted government is to get those foreigners of those foreign governments to accept the 1.3 trillion payout towards their debt..............BUT.............................what?  Is the American government wise enough and intelligent enough to do it...........??
Well, for one thing the US government hasn't had, no it seems shall ever have, the utter genius to think about that and just do it.......too easy is it..........sad sorry state of affairs it is in America's government, getting worse every day, and gotten far worse and will get yet more ridiculously and laughably worse......Or will they sulk it having been Squirrel's economic idea.....?
We shall see...we shall see.....we shall see....but any American government which doesn't follow Squirrel's advice...........is and must be utterly and completely.............mental.
Secret Squirrel,
MRL,MP,Dunny On The Wold,
Minister For Re-=Deranged re-Engineering.

Secret Squirrel Discovers The Secret Of Ireland

Ah yes, only the English could have been so subtle....not seen it all this time?
No? What not? IRELAND..........so what's up with that eh? Whot!
Well, you see, IRE LAND..............the land of IRE..............IRE you see IRE LAND........here IRE defined, take you pick but the English seem to have thought that all apply.............

Word Origin and History for IRE

n.=noun

c.1300, from Old French ire "anger, wrath, violence" (11c.), from Latin ira "anger, wrath, rage, passion," from PIE root *eis-, forming various words denoting "passion" cf. Greek hieros "filled with the divine, holy," oistros "gadfly," originally "thing causing madness;" Sanskrit esati "drives on," yasati "boils;" Avestan aesma "anger").

Old English irre in a similar sense is from an adjective irre "wandering, straying, angry," cognate with Old Saxon irri "angry," Old High German irri "wandering, deranged," also "angry;" Gothic airzeis "astray," and Latin errare "wander, go astray, angry" (see err (v.)).

Secret Squirrel,
MRL,MP,Dunny On The Wold,
Minister For Re-Deranged Re-Engineering.

Secret Squirrel Believes It's Time To Review Idi Amin's Head Of State Speech to Queen Elizabeth.

Idi Amin Gave Head of State Speech To Queen Elizabeth.
“My majesty Mr. Queen Sir, horrible ministers and members of parliament, invented Guests, ladies under gentlemen. I hereby thank you completely… Mr. Queen, sir; and also what he has done for me and my fellow Uganda who come with me.
We have really eaten very much. And we are fed up completely:And also very thanks to you keenly open up from all windows: so that those plenty climates can come into lunch. But before I go back to my country with a plane from the Entebbe airport of London I wish to invitation you Mr. Queen, to become home to Uganda so that we can also revenge on you .
.
You will eat a full cow:and also feel up your stomach and walk with difficult because of full stomach completely. Even when you want to rest at night; I will make sure that you sleep on top of me in the top up stairs of my mansion completely so that you can enjoy all the gravity of fresh air.

If I leave the presidency my predecessor will rule for life.

“But now am sorry because I have to tell you that I have made a shortcall on you only. But next time I shall make a long call on you to last the whole moon completely. Thank you very much to allow me to undress you completely before these extinguished ladies undergentlemen sir.
Lastly but not list, I ask the band to play our international anthem of the republic of Uganda and also the British international anthem..Your majesty sir, I thank you from the bottom of my heart and from the bottoms of all the people of Uganda.

say what you want about Idi, but he really could write a great speech...................Idi Amin,a man, and a speech not easily forgotten.........a lesson in the art of speech writing not easily forgotten.............

Secret Squirrel,
MRL,MP,Dunny On The Wold,
Minister For Re-Deranged re-Engineering.

Secret Squirrel Gives Notice To Save Texas

We, in the MRL, specificly I, having been encouraged, have annexed Texas, it's MINE! MINE! MINE! MINE!......new rules apply..........henceforth you down there in Texas take note, there has been a change.......
To the citizens of Texas, in light of your failure to elect a competent President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective today,and adherence to the government of the United States Of America, and declare you annexed,to England, not Britain as Scotland may leave,Wales may leave, Norther Ireland may leave, requiring the acquisition of Texas to balance things out and maintain a statu quo for the people of England.
Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II resumes monarchical duties over the Secret Squirrel, (MRL,Monster Raving Loony Party),annexed territory of Texas, it having been his idea.
Your new prime minister (The Right Honourable Theresa May, MP for the 97.8% of you who have, until now, been unaware there's a world outside your borders) will appoint a minister for Texas. Congress and the Senate of the USA have no authroity over Texas any longer, but the existing government shall function, with the existing governor being Her Majesty's ruling representative in Texas...A Fully Functioning, Governor General. A questionnaire circulated next year will determine whether any of you noticed.
To aid your transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:
1. Look up "revocation" in the Oxford English Dictionary. Check "aluminium" in the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at just how wrongly you pronounce it. The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'favour' and 'neighbour'. Likewise you will learn to spell 'doughnut' without skipping half the letters. Generally, you should raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. Look up "vocabulary." Using the same twenty seven words interspersed with filler noises such as "like" and "you know" is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. Look up "interspersed." There will be no more 'bleeps' in the Jerry Springer show...nor others shown in the newly annexed Territory of Texas. If you're not old enough to cope with bad language then you should not have chat shows.
2. There is no such thing as "US English." We'll let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take account of the reinstated letter 'u'.
3. You should learn to distinguish English and Australian accents. It really isn't that hard. English accents are not limited to cockney, upper-class twit or Mancunian (Daphne in Frasier). Scottish dramas such as 'Taggart' will no longer be broadcast with subtitles.All existing Texas counties, shall become shires, taking on the name shire tagged on to the existing names.
4. You should relearn your original national anthem, "God Save The Queen", but only after fully carrying out task 1.
5. You should stop playing American "football." There's only one kind of football. What you call American "football" is not a very good game. The 2.1% of you aware there is a world outside your borders may have noticed no one else plays "American" football. You should instead play proper football. Initially, it would be best if you played with the girls. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which is similar to American "football", but does not involve stopping for a rest every two seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like nancies) You should stop playing baseball. It's not reasonable to host event called the 'World Series' for a game which is not played outside of America. Instead of baseball, you will be allowed to play a girls' game called "rounders," which is baseball without fancy team stripe, oversized gloves, collector cards or hotdogs.
6. You will no longer be allowed to own or carry guns, or anything more dangerous in public than a vegetable peeler. Because you are not sensible enough to handle potentially dangerous items, you need a permit to carry a vegetable peeler.
7. July 4th is no longer a public holiday. November 2nd will be a new national holiday. It will be called "Indecisive Day."
8. All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap and it is for your own good. When we show you German cars, you will understand what we mean. All road intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you will start driving on the left. At the same time, you will go metric without the benefit of conversion tables. Roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour.
9. Learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are not real chips. Fries aren't French, they're Belgian though 97.8% of you (including the guy who discovered fries while in Europe) are not aware of a country called Belgium. Potato chips are properly called "crisps." Real chips are thick cut and fried in animal fat. The traditional accompaniment to chips is beer which should be served warm and flat....they are to be called chips, or Freedom Fry Chips....
10. The cold tasteless stuff you call beer is actually lager. Only proper British Bitter will be referred to as "beer." Substances once known as "American Beer" will henceforth be referred to as "Near-Frozen Gnat's Urine," except for the product of the American Budweiser company which will be called "Weak Near-Frozen Gnat's Urine." This will allow true Budweiser (as manufactured for the last 1000 years in Pilsen, Czech Republic) to be sold without risk of confusion. Your urine beer has created a problem, Sarah Miles became used to it, and now admits to drinking her own piss.
11. The UK will harmonise petrol prices (or "Gasoline," as you will be permitted to keep calling it) for those of the former USA, adopting UK petrol prices (roughly $6/US gallon, get used to it).
12. Learn to resolve personal issues without guns, lawyers or therapists. That you need many lawyers and therapists shows you're not adult enough to be independent. If you're not adult enough to sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist, you're not grown up enough to handle a gun.
13. Please tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us crazy. Also RFK, we suspect Onnassis really, with Jackie and ted Kennedy knowing plot participants.
14. Tax collectors from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all revenues due (backdated to 1776).
Secret Squirrel,
MRL,MP,Dunny On The Wold,
Minister For Re-Deranged Re-Engineering.

Sceret Squirrel Deals With Rising Sea Levels And Falling Land Masses

Secret Squirrel has discovered that scientists believe that New York is actually sinking, NOT that the sea is rising...so evidenced at the url here......

http://www.triplepundit.com/2016/09/new-york-city-sinking-no-one-knows/

Secret Squirrel asks, "Do you have that certain sinking feeling?" It has been decided that it is NOT the rising sea levels responsible for the rising seas, but actually the measure of all things American, is New York City, and THEY have determined that it is NOT rising sea levels, but actually New York City, SINKING, that is causing it to appear that the sea is rising.So any rulers stuck in by the sea to measure things being what they are or were or are not and will be...show the land sinking not the sea rising.....oh well one or the other........either way have to equip with water wings and waterproof inflatable undies if we are to save our selves. But there may well be another solution, and Squirrel as you know, has suggestions, solutions for problems......

Secret Squirrel has figured out an engineering project such that we can no longer have to fear the effects of ANY global warming, if it exists at all.In short any rising seas will not trouble us at all,whatsoever, nay not even yet ever!
Isn't it all easier to put the colony of Canada to good use, we simply excavate it all out, and then lead a trench in from the sea, but a trench joining the sea, at sea level as it were, such that as and IF the sea rises, or the lands fall, the excess will thence run into and down the trench.....this huge created inland sea will absorb ALL the excess water from any global warming effects, and also compensate for the falling of land masses such that there is an effect of the sea rising, and so not necessitate us to do anything at all else and certainly not inconvenience us further. An alternate selection to the colony of Canada is, as Squirrel likes to put forwards and present alternatives and alternates, is,of course, the trouble makers of Europe, the France and Germany........they also could be used, individually and or in twain....but then, to be on the safe side,why not the lot of them? Eh! Whot!      

Secret Squirrel,
MRL,MP,Dunny On The Wold,
Minister For Re-Deranged Re-Engineering.

Secret Squirrel Investigates The Really Worthless I.O.U. That Money Is.

Did you realize that banknotes are just I.O.U.'s, but they won't

let us print up our own I.O.U.'s but then we're using I.O.U.'s but they're somebody elses, and we're given these I.O.U.'s to use but

are never really paid? An IOU (abbreviated from the phrase "I owe

you") is usually an informal document acknowledging debt. An IOU differs from a promissory note in that an IOU is not a negotiable

instrument and does not specify repayment terms such as the time of repayment. IOU's usually specify the debtor, the amount owed, and sometimes the creditor. Which means all we really have and hold are debts,as a direct result.But the definition says that money

extinguishes all debt. IOU currency would put Greece in line to

quit the Euro..........which is in itself an IOU currency...but it

is being made worthless by more printing of it, whilst the USA

prints up more and more of it's I.O.U. currency and so it increase

in value because it is U.S.A. currency, you see...no Euro nor Greek I.O.U. currency. A company's IOU is counted as an asset on the balance sheet because another party owes that company money or goods.

When banks make loans, they create money. This is because

money is really just an IOU,so money is just an I.O.U. and the

banks are rolling in it. Now, government, such as the U.S.

government, when it wants money for The System, it prints up a

Treasury Certificate, which is ALSO, an I.O.U. promising to pay the

Treasury Department, whatever, whenever,however, IF it ever can,

the Treasury Department then prints up the money which is in fact

just I.O.U.'s.The government must create and then SPEND its dollars in order for the private citizens to earn the dollars they need to pay their taxes.

So, if government doesn’t need your tax dollars in order to spend,

does government tax at all?It is based on the insight that the

government DOES, in fact, need to collect taxes, but the “taxes” it

collects are not your “tax dollars.” Taxes drive money—in other

words, private citizens are willing to provide goods and services

to the government in exchange for government’s paper dollars

because they NEED those dollars (government I.O.U.s) to pay their future taxes. A paper dollar, printed by the sovereign U.S.

government, is nothing more—and nothing OTHER than—a tax I.O.U. which states, in effect: “The sovereign U.S. government owes the bearer one dollar of tax credit on the day taxes are due.”Because of this I.O.U. pledge, the government is able to use the paper dollar, in the MEANTIME, to purchase real goods and services from private citizens and businesses. The citizens and businesses are willing to exchange their real goods and services for the paper dollars because they will NEED the I.O.U.s (dollars) to present to the government on “tax-day”. When the government collects “tax dollars” it is NOT collecting something it “needs” but, instead, is simply collecting back (or cancelling) its own I.O.U.s (The ACTUAL taxes are the real goods and services it had prevIOUsly received in return for those I.O.U.s). A paper dollar is a tax I.O.U., what is a Treasury bond?

The common understanding is that Treasury bonds represent a “debt” which the government must “repay” in the future. But look how our new perspective requires that view to shift:a private citizen “buys” a Treasury bond. What takes place? The citizen exchanges say a hundred paper tax I.O.U.s for another piece of paper (the Treasury bond) which is…what? It is another government tax I.O.U. pledging to pay, at a specified time in the future, a hundred and SEVEN paper tax I.O.U.s (the original hundred plus 7 percent interest.) What is unique in this transaction is that, while it appears the government is in “debt” to the citizen, what it “owes” the citizen is nothing more than its own promise to accept these I.O.U.s (dollars) as tax payments.

In short, money as such is entirely worthless,just so much printed

paper, to promise payment of something or other,which does in fact not really exist at all as such......For some reason they system

has broken down in Europe, the Euro becoming and being regarded as worthless, which is in fact a reality, it is as worthless as the other currencies in Europe are or were, and the only currency solidly worth something and regarded as something is the American dollar, an I.O.U. based entirely on Treasury Certificates, which are I.O.U.'s which permit the printing of more I.O.U.'s and also Treasury Bonds which people buy with their I.O.U.'s and are a form of the Treasury Department collecting I.O.U's such that it has something to show for it all. So what's the problem with the Euro nations, they can't seem to print up enough to satisfy demands...are there sufficient presses available to print up the I.O.U. money papers. What thence is the problem that makes Euro money paper worthless compared with the U.S.A. printed up I.O.U. money papers?

Or is it then that the I.O.U. money papers printed up in certain

locations are thought of being worth something or other much more than those printed up in their local area? So there we have it, the I.O.U. money converted to nothing or less than nothing or something depending if it's regarded as being worth something or other of which we know not what,depending on where it is printed up. At least so it seems.

Secret Squirrel,

MRL,MP,(Dunny On The Wold),

Minister For Re-Deranged Re-Engineering.

Secret Squirrel PROVES That The Speed Of Light CAN Be Exceeded, and Light Can Exceed The Speed Of Light.

Let's start with things as they are,with an airplane, and a gun, AS HAS BEEN PROVED.......

An airplane has a gun that fires bullets straight ahead at the speed of 600 miles per hour when tested on the ground while the plane is stationary. The plane takes off and flies east at 600 miles per hour.

When fired directly ahead the bullets move eastward at a speed of 1200 miles per hour

When fired in the opposite direction (by turning the gun westward, but not the plane), the bullets drop vertically downward,speed is cancelled.

If fired vertically downward (by turning the gun downward, but not the plane), the bullets move eastward at 600 miles per hour while they fall.

Similarly a spaceship moving through space and at ANY speed, has that added to the speed of whatever...............and that includes light you see, so immediately such a beam of light emitted from a spaceship moving.......is added to it, hence, light now exceeds the speed of itself, as in the speed of light.............it adds..if the light was shone from the rear of the spaceship then by analogy it could not be seen,the light emitted downward, or upward, would travel only at it's set speed, of light.......now even IF the light is emitted forwards from the 600 mph airplane, the light traveling at the speed of light, NOW has THAT added to it, being physically cumulative, and hence the light the travels FASTER, EXCEEDS the speed of light, such that now even yet provably on earth, the speed of light CAN be exceeded, by particularly anything, and including light itself.........all ready.

Scientists say that the speed of light cannot be exceeded,Stephen Hawking says the speed of light cannot be exceeded, EINSTEIN said the speed of light CAN be exceeded, the equation says  E=MC(squared), as in energy is mass accelerated to THE SQUARE of the speed of light, such that the speed of light CAN be exceeded.Secret Squirrel has taken Einstein's equations and accepted them for and what and as they are, AND Squirrel has by simple logic, as shown above, proved that even YET light CAN exceed the speed of light! So says, and HAS PROVED, Squirrel.

Secret Squirrel,
MRL,MP,Dunny On The Wold,
Minister For Re-Deranged Re-Engineering.

Secret Squirrel Comments On The Pork Sausage Ban In Germany.

Secret Squirrel has seen shocking headlines, shocking headlines coming out of Germany,concerning the dictational misrule of Germany by Angela Merkel, Squirrel here shows thearticle link that has shocked Squirrel, and will without any doubt, shock you....
http://www.express.co.uk/news/world/650246/Germany-bans-pork-cafes-schools-offending-Muslim-migrants
The shock realization that Angela Merkel, the minority leader of a coalition of parties ruling Germans as if she was a Hitlerite Chancellor, has banned German beloved pork sausage wurst because, she claims, it offends muslims. Her ban extends to be much adored and frequented outdoor, sidewalk,terrace,and indoor cafes and of course.....their equivalent of pubs where pork fricadellen are consumed(pork hamburger). German can do nothing about Merkel, but Squirrel is on to the response. As we speak in the hidden privacy of their homes, apartments, basements, Germans are secretly making their own, bootlegged,  pork wurst sausages, mother's are frying up pork,hamburgers,bacon and of course, pork sausages, for their children, secretly. They leave,  secretly, by day, going to farms, farmers, markets, groceries and buying up the beloved illicit pork. By night trucks drive to replenish the pork stocks, seen speeding, speeding, silently, on the autobahns of Germany, skulking about the city streets, replenishing stocks of.......pork.
Speakeasies are springing up, secret chinese door protected speakeasies, password entry protected speakeasies, private clubs and speakeasies, where the Germans consume.....the banned........porkwurst sausage. Merkel has pushed the consumption of the pork wurst sausage underground. Mobsters will now take control. Mobsters will make millions of dollars from illegal pork wurst sales. In addition to the rise of the mob-run black market, many citizens simply ignored the law. Well do they know that Angela Merkel's political age, has turned ugly and banned their sausages........well do they know that Angela Merkel hates................porking.

Indeed Angela Merkel is out of control, due to her unchecked powers. You see, sadly for the German people of the day....the 1949 constitution gave the Chancellor much greater powers than during the Weimar Republic, while strongly diminishing the role of the President. Germany is today often referred to as a "chancellor democracy", reflecting the role of the Chancellor as the country's chief executive who has the constitutional authority to establish the guidelines for all fields of government policy.The Chancellor cannot be opposed by German Parliament, much less the people, so she has banned porking, banned the pork wurst sausage of the German people.
Soon too she will ban the pork wurst on the Deutsche Bundesbahn(the trains), and.........she will ban, of course, bacon, being served for breakfast the same locations. Next also, without any doubt, Merkel will attack and ban that very great public nation wide Pork festival and celebration, The Octoberfest. Clearly in this time of tragedy for the German people, they must be a people out there marching and organising and voting,voting anti-Merkel in the soon to be had election, anti-Christian Democratic Union.Each and every vote MUST count and be counted, and not one vote cast in further support of that party of the greatest abomination and atrocity. Soon too, there will be porking police, coming round,checking for porking, and to inspect the illicit back yard bar be cues, for the presence of, and smoking of, cooking of, illegal pork chops, pork sausages, checking eaily due to the presence of the smoke.......but perhaps they will turn a blind eye, perhaps they can be......influenced.
Clearly also, there are disturbing reports,coming out of Germany, how easily the common paedophiles have lured thirteen year olds and younger, with promises of ballons,candy, ice cream, chocolates,liquor etc(and.......qualudes used by the utterly and completely mentally deranged perversities). But now they are flocking to Germany to lure them to pork, luring them with their sausages.
Sad and sorry state of affairs it is in Germany. Squirrel sees the rise of porkleggers,the Porking Mob, the rise of Pork Speakeasies(Porkkneipen), the people shall persevere, as we all may have to even yet in Britain with our laggardly ridiculous government of the day.
Here Squirrel states.....
"We shall go on to the end. We shall eat them in France, we shall eat them on the seas and oceans, we shall eat them with growing confidence and growing strength in the airliners, we shall defend our pork wurst, whatever the cost may be. We shall eat them on the beaches, we shall eat them on the landing grounds, we shall eat them in the fields and in the streets, we shall eat them in the hills; we shall never surrender our pork wurst."
-Secret Squirrel.
You may quote Squirrel.
Secret Squirrel,
MRL,MP,Dunny On The Wold,
Minister for Re-Deranged Re-Engineering.

Secret Squirrel On The American Disease Of, Affluenza: The Cure.

Secret Squirrel On The American Disease Of, Affluenza: The Cure.

Secret Squirrel here ponders things Judicial,specifically,that of Judges, and the methods used to create judges, being appointed and/or elected,dependent.It is noted here that Switzerland, Japan and the United States are exceptions to the rule in the rest of the world where judges are appointed in order to secure their independence. These three democracies allow some non-federal judges to be elected by popular vote on the grounds it helps prevent cronyism.Well, there's not only cronyism, but a disease, of the America's and their judicial structures, AND society, and it is aptly named and called by the accepting American public..........AFFLUENZA.
Accepted you say by the American people, well, that's because whilst it can be commented on and about, nothing is and can be done about it, it is a disease, the rich in America have, THE AFFLUENT, whom, by and large are the effluent of society in the eyes of the American people. These affluent are a world apart, a class,in a classless system, yes a system where the people have no class at all, and the rich have it all. Now you in Europe,Japan,New Zealand, Australia, won't have an inkling of what's being referred to. Well AFFLUENZA is a case,and cases, where in America the rich appear before judges and get off with no fines, no prison sentence,in some cases utter trial avoidance, and also no criminal records, and no civil lawsuit verdicts (except,of course, in their favor). It can be a part of corruption, Affluenza, as corruption is generally referred to as a system of bribes so commonplace at all levels of America rich,and oligarkic rule and government society, but the AFFLEUNZA also makes use of this CORRUPTION generally prevalent there. Now,is there a cure for this disease the Americans suffer from, if they wish to be cured and can be cured, is there a cure for Britain and other civilized nations of the world, to immunize, cure and prevent entirely? Yes, there is.

In most of the world where judicial selection is made by the executive branch from a civil service-like pool of professionals who have been trained in the equivalent of a school for judges,but not necessarily so,most coming from law schools, meaning they have been and are and were,firstly,lawyers. In the United States such is the case for federal and Supreme Court judges but not for the majority of state
judges who face popular election.

UN Special Rapporteur for judicial independence, Leandro Despouy gave his opinion on
juducial appointment systems.........

“In the countries I’ve visited, especially the poorer ones, judges are chosen by the
executive branch and it is up to the executive to sanction them if necessary. In general I am not in favor of elected judges. They should be chosen on a merit basis based on their knowledge and independence so they can resist all pressures to conform to the wishes of elected officials.”

However here we have a dicotomy,a conundrum,appointed they can be sanctioned
by,dis-appointed by,and are in fact, really not capable of resisting, the wishes of
certain specific government officials.Conventional wisdom says that those who appoint judges affect future judicial decisions.Judgeships could be,and are,bought and sold according to the personal preferences of those making the selection,appointments degrade the quality of the judiciary. It is not uncommon for appointed judges to loose sight of what they are supposed to be doing to start actually writing new laws themselves through the decisions they make. And is anyone really so naivé as to believe that the current appointed "independent" federal judiciary has not become a political branch? As Thomas Jefferson had warned:

"Our judges are as honest as other men and not more so. They have, with others, the same passions for party, for power, and the privilege of their corps. . . . [A]nd their power the more dangerous as they are in office for life and not responsible, as the other functionaries are, to the elective control.""The exemption of the judges from that....from election.....is quite dangerous enough. I know no safe depository of the ultimate powers of the society but the people themselves; and if we think them [the people] not enlightened enough to exercise their control with a wholesome discretion, the remedy is not to take it [control] from them, but to inform their discretion by education."

Elected ones, are subject to the people, and specifically can be removed with the next election, and can be influenced by the wishes of the public at large,which is, of course, for justice,equality,equity in the judicial processes.Voters in many US states think justice is too lenient with criminals and they demand harsher sentencing. They prefer that a judge who ignores the popular sentiment be voted out of office,thus making them accountable to the people themselves,judges must be there for be professional, objective and independent.In America,nationwide, 87 percent of all state court judges face elections, and 39 states elect at least some of their judges, according to the National Center for State Courts.

Some states have recently considered proposals that would abolish the election of State judges and replace it with a system of appointed judges who would face periodic retention elections. While supporters of this plan argue that retention elections will keep judges accountable to the voters, it is irrefutable that this plan will give judges a level of insulation from the public they have never before experienced and make them more unaccountable than ever before. The folly of this proposal is made clear both by history as well as the lessons of other States that have adopted such a plan.Originally the Founding Fathers of America feared tyranny from the Judiciary,so they placed severe limitations on that branch, employed the powers of impeachement to remove them quickly should the need arise, as Alexander Hamilton explained, "the practice of impeachments was a bridle",a way to keep judges accountable to the people,such that the general liberty of the people can never be endangered from the judiciary.For judges to campaign and win voter support actually prevents the judiciary from becoming a political branch and running a political agenda.

In the 2002 election, the appointed New Jersey Supreme Court reviewed the State law
declaring that a candidate's name may be replaced on the ballot only if the "vacancy
shall occur not later than the 51st day before the general election" and somehow decided that the 35th day before the election fulfilled the same legal requirements as the 51st day before the election. (Recall that the Democrat candidate was lagging far behind his Republican opponent in the polls; the Democrats convinced the unelected judges to place a more viable candidate on the ballot - in violation of the State law - and Democrats therefore won a U. S. Senate seat they were destined to lose.)

Elected judges know that if they make such agenda-driven decisions, they will face
removal by voters for contempt of,and violation of,State law. When judges are elected, the selection process is totally open to the public. The reasons why a particular individual may be chosen are readily visible to inquiring citizens or the press, and State Legislatures can actually specify the minimum qualifications for each judicial office,thus ensuring intelligent choices be presented to the voter.Judicial independence is essential to a functioning democracy,and the regulation of judges requires involvement of we, the people. This is what needs be done in America to cure the people of affluenza, it is a cure.However in America we know that for the rich this cure is far too expensive and it is the affluent who control government and judicial structures such that the disease will rather continue,and in fact spread there. For Britain and the rest of the world, Squirrel has here mentioned the preventative, the cure for a disease that yet doesn't ail the people, but which some day well might. Squirrel suggest it be best to apply the cure Squirrel has discovered. Gesundheit!


Secret Squirrel,
MRL,MP,Dunny On The Wold,
Minister For Re-Deranged Re-Engineering.

Secret Squirrel's Points On How To Win An Election In America,Or Nazi Germany For That matter,it Worked For Adolf, It Can And Will Work For You

Secret Squirrel has studied American election proceedings, and has noticed what they do to win elections.......at least those who will and do win, stand out amongst the rest, and here is why, what Squirrel has discovered is the key to success........

1. Always try and read the opposing political person’s mind. Never wait until the other person (or country) explains itself.If that fails, try the Ouija board.
2. Judge before you are judged.
3. Never give the other side the benefit of the doubt.
4. Always jump to conclusions.
5. Never seek any outside assistance.
6. What you say is what you mean, even if that isn’t so.
7. Change your mind randomly and without notice.
8. Always treat the other side like they were mentally deficient if not criminally insane.
9. Impute evil intentions to every act of the other.
10. When all else fails, do not respond at all.
11. There are two possible meanings to everything, if in doubt, explain that they took it the wrong way.
12. Launch a public relations campaign disputing your opponents.
13. Predict dire economic consequences, and ignore the cost benefits.
14. Find and pay a respected scientists to argue persuasively against incumbent government environmental policies.
15. Use non-peer reviewed scientific publications or industry-funded scientists who don’t publish original peer-reviewed scientific work to support your point of view on matters of public health and environment.
16. Trumpet discredited scientific studies and myths supporting your points of view as scientific fact.
17. Point to the substantial scientific uncertainty, and the certainty of economic loss if immediate action is taken with respect to problems.
18. Use data from a local area to support your views, and ignore the global evidence.
19. Disparage scientists, saying they are playing up uncertain predictions of doom in order to get research funding when encountering global warming issues.
20. Complain that it is unfair to require regulatory action in Britain, as it would put the nation at an economic disadvantage.
21. Claim that more research is needed before action should be taken on things to do with public Health and Safety.
22. Refuse to answer questions.
23. Insult your opponents, totally, utterly and completely, even yet involve their immediate family members and friends.
24. Show your opponents all and total utter manners of disrespect.
25 Degrade your opponents, and members of the press,show them utterly no respect.
26. Anyone who from the crowd challenges your opinions, statements, policies et all, have them thrown out by security.
27. Show complete and utter disrespect and contempt for any and all regarded as immigrants, foreigners, those of foreign origins, them,their behaviour, their customs.
28. Don't reveal nor display any comment or opinion of any sort with respect to any foreign policy matters, in short don't reveal you don't have any by refusing to answer questions concerning any foreign policy you might have, or not.if they persist, just insult them, the press and also your opponents.
29. Make yourself seem smart and educated, and try to appear so in public, at meetings at debates,belittle your opponents, claim they're not educated properly, or used influence to obtain degrees, suggest their IQ's are lower.
30. Showmanship, be loud,brash,brazen, provocative,disgusting,insulting to set you apart from your opponents,yell and scream a lot, appeal to the masses, let the masses hear what they want to hear, it worked for the insane and megalomanic Hilter you know, it'll work for you too.
31. Adolf Hitler and the Nazis waged a modern whirlwind campaign in 1930 unlike anything ever seen in Germany. Hitler traveled the country delivering dozens of major speeches, attending meetings, shaking hands, signing autographs, posing for pictures, and even kissing babies..and you just know American politicians have followed this pattern ever since.
32. Offer the people they needed most, encouragement. Give them heaps of vague promises while avoiding the details. Use simple catchphrases, repeated over and over.
33. Begin each debate in low, hesitating tones, gradually raising the pitch and volume of voice then exploding in a climax of frenzied indignation,attack your opponents, attack those asking questions.
34. After a series of debates, refuse even to appear,belittling your opponents,showing contempt for the press, and......really the people, they just love being abused, they're used to it you know,you're rich,richer than they are........all of them, they love it,secretly relishing such abuse.
35. Offer something to everyone: work to the unemployed; prosperity to failed business people; profits to industry; expansion to the Army; social harmony and an end of class distinctions to idealistic young students; and restoration of (American,British) glory to those in despair.
35. Promise to bring order amid chaos; a feeling of unity to all and the chance to belong. Make (America,Britain) strong again; end payment of war reparations to the Allies; tear up the treaty of Versailles; stamp out corruption; keep down Marxism/Communism; and deal harshly with the powerless immigrants.
36. Play up to the rich, and the industrialists, attack the trade unions.
37. Offer the working class protection for jobs,your protection, indicating yours is greater than that of the abilities of the weak and wimpering and useless unions.
38. To farmers offer increased prosperity, whilst at the same time promising people lower prices, neither will notice the other.
39. To the middle class offer restoration of law and order.
40. To women,offer emphasis on family, religion, and morals, never mind your comments, its YOUR family.

Secret Squirrel: How To Turn A Massive Profit On The Simple Cauliflower.

Secret Squirrel: How To Turn A Massive Profit On The Simple Cauliflower.

Secret Squirrel discovers the headlines,

"In Canada, the 8-Dollar Cauliflower Shows the Pain of Falling Oil Prices"

http://mobile.nytimes.com/2016/01/21/business/dealbook/in-canada-5-cauliflowers-cost-more-than-a-barrel-of-oil.html?_r=0

Well, Squirrel knows, Squirrel is wisdom, Squirrel knows it's not the oil prices that affect the cauliflower prices, nay, the oil prices dropped, the cauliflower prices rose, the oil rises, the cauliflower price should drop? Does the price of gold fluctuate, no, gold rises and rises and rises, the precious metals, and so too Squirrel sees the precious Cauliflower. Indeed, in Canada, steamed, sautéed or stir-fried,or as a soup,in stews,breaded,fried and whatever, cauliflower is standard fare on many dinner tables. BUT,in Canada, it is a luxury.

As prices for commodities have dropped,oil and so forth, the value of the Canadian dollar has fallen, a direct link to an economy that is dependent on oil and other resources. It makes imports, like fresh American vegetables during the dark Canadian winter, look especially costly.The drought in California, where Canadians get most of their vegetables in the off-season, just compounds the sticker shock. With less bounty in the fields, farmers’ prices, in American dollars, are higher. The Canadians have even yet taken to buying up land in Mexico, farming it, with cheap, virtual slave underpaid if at all, labour, and there they grow food, whilst the Mexicans starve, and said food is then shipped cheaply in to the USA and Canada where it is sold to feed Canadians, and Americans, all whilst the Mexicans starve.

Well now. How does this effect us, the Brits,for example? Well, our cauliflower prices are but a pittance 49pence, which is .97 Canadian cents you know, a 50% drop. BUT recall, the 8 dollar cauliflower,so 8 dollar cauliflower to pence, give or take we'll round the figures,t'is but a pittance to us, the 8 dollar cauliflower converted to pence works out to 8 x 49pence...3.95 pound.........a 3.95 pound cauliflower....... nay, but said 8 dollar cauliflower converted to pounds is 3.95 pounds, less the .49pence...a profit fully of no less than 3.46 pounds/pence....said full 3.95 could buy, garnered from a single Cauliflower sold to a Canadian, 405.70 pence, or 4.05 pounds, so , starting with a seed cauliflower,even yet a single one, sold to the Canadians.........and we profit profit profit, you see, the more cauliflowers sold to them at $8 Canadian, the merrier we are in solid British pounds! We convert the currency garnered to British pounds and buy yet more and more and ever increasingly, multiplying more, cauliflower!!

Now do you really need your cauliflower, couldn't you like broccoli for example, perhaps psychologically looking at it as a green cauliflower,really, and thence part with your cauliflower and sell it to the Canadians, growing it anywhere and everywhere we,and you, could, and should, including the system of buying Mexican lands cheaply from the Mexican government, to grow it there and sell it to the Canadians. Why we would garner huge,absolutely huge, profits.

Yes, Squirrel knows, there is profit in confusion, Canada is a confused land, there is profit in Canada,there is profit in Cauliflower! Yes, please see Squirrel's new, going soon to production, financial film, Cauliflower:The New Hope........I'm working on it and shall have my cousin, George Lucas, produce and create it, as he has some experience in producing films.
As they say in Canada, never let it be said, that Squirrel, gave you a bum steer, nor a cheap cauliflower. And if our laggardly government would wisely engage in this,Squirrel's cauliflower venture, and speculation,why the massive amounts of currency so garnered, would produce a Britain as sound as the pound.

Secret Squirrel,
MRL,MP,(Dunny On The Wold),
Minister For Re-Deranged Re-Engineering.

Secret Squirrel On Profiting From The Confusions Of Cauliflower And Oil Barrel Prices In The North Americas.

Secret Squirrel, always scanning the world papers for global news, economic,political, and technology wise, has noticed the headlines, which state, as found in the New York Times, that Americans have noticed that up in Canada, what with their collapsing depression era economy (Two years ago, one Canadian dollar was worth 93 American cents, on Wednesday, it stood at 69 American cents),that Iceberg lettuce in the colony of Canada, sells for 3 Canadian dollars, up from the typical 90 Canadian cents. One head of broccoli goes for $4, compared with $1.50 past. Last winter, a head of cauliflower was selling for 2.50 Canadian. But NOW, Cauliflower,in the colony of Canada, costs $8..............much more than a barrel of oil.

Of course, this is all echoed and evidenced here in the New York Times article......

http://www.nytimes.com/2016/01/21/business/dealbook/in-canada-5-cauliflowers-cost-more-than-a-barrel-of-oil.html?WT.mc_id=2016-KWP-INTL_AUD_DEV&WT.mc_ev=click&ad-keywords=IntlAudDev&kwp_0=98800&_r=2&kwp_4=487859&kwp_1=268315

Squirrel has also noticed that BOTH the Americans and Canadians actually OWN farms in Mexico, farming them and thence importing food in to THEIR nations, in short Mexicans grow and supply them with food whilst starving themselves, and providing the exceptionally cheap farming labour. Squirrel proposes that what with this revelation,that BRITAIN do the same in Mexico as well, demanding equity and equality...and so on those farms planting, growing,harvesting and shipping, not to Britain, or the USA but to Canada, CAULIFLOWER, selling it to the Canadians at the $8 value, THENCE simply, buying up barrels and barrels of oil enormously cheaply, on the world market with the acquired Cauliflower as currency, and then selling THAT to the Americans and so garnering a HUGE profit. Canada is an enormously confused state, and with it's new Prime Minister is in a total state of confusion, and Squirrel sees all, knows all, and knows this.................there is profit in confusion.

Secret Squirrel,
MRL,MP,Dunny On The Wold,
Minister For Re-Deranged re-Engineering.

Secret Squirrel Comments On Sarah Palin Going Rogue Along With Donald Trump.

Secret Squirrel Comments On Sarah Palin Going Rogue Along With Donald Trump.

Sarah Palin:Going Rogue.............that was the title of her own published work,at least which she claimed was her own, there she self effacingly labelled herself as a rogue, further she has linked with Donald trump who has accepted her calling themselves BOTH, rogues.....well, here it is rogue, as defined in many dictionaries.....they've certainly labelled themselves correctly........

Well...........take your pick............

Rogue.....Defined...........

http://www.thefreedictionary.com/rogue
rogue (rg)
n.
1. An unprincipled, deceitful, and unreliable person; a scoundrel or rascal.
2. One who is playfully mischievous; a scamp.
3. A wandering beggar; a vagrant.
4. A vicious and solitary animal, especially an elephant that has separated itself from its herd.
5. An organism, especially a plant, that shows an undesirable variation from a standard.
adj.
1. Vicious and solitary. Used of an animal, especially an elephant.
2. Large, destructive, and anomalous or unpredictable: a rogue wave; a rogue tornado.
3. Operating outside normal or desirable controls: "How could a single rogue trader bring down an otherwise

profitable and well-regarded institution?" (Saul Hansell).
v. rogued, rogu·ing, rogues
v.tr.
1. To defraud.
2. To remove (diseased or abnormal specimens) from a group of plants of the same variety.
v.intr.
To remove diseased or abnormal plants.


http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/rogue
rogue
/ro?g/ Show Spelled [rohg] Show IPA noun, verb,rogued, ro·guing, adjective
–noun
1.
a dishonest, knavish person; scoundrel.
2.
a playfully mischievous person; scamp: The youngest boys are little rogues.
3.
a tramp or vagabond.
4.
a rogue elephant or other animal of similar disposition.
5.
Biology. a usually inferior organism, esp. a plant, varying markedly from the normal.
–verb (used without object)
6.
to live or act as a rogue.
–verb (used with object)
7.
to cheat.
8.
to uproot or destroy (plants, etc., that do not conform to a desired standard).
9.
to perform this operation upon: to rogue a field.
–adjective
10.
(of an animal) having an abnormally savage or unpredictable disposition, as a rogue elephant.
11.
no longer obedient, belonging, or accepted and hence not controllable or answerable; deviating, renegade: a

rogue cop; a rogue union local.

http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/rogue
Main Entry: 1rogue
Pronunciation: \'rog\
Function: noun
Etymology: origin unknown
Date: 1561

1 : vagrant, tramp
2 : a dishonest or worthless person : scoundrel
3 : a mischievous person : scamp
4 : a horse inclined to shirk or misbehave
5 : an individual exhibiting a chance and usually inferior biological variation

— rogu·ish \'ro-gish\ adjective

— rogu·ish·ly adverb

— rogu·ish·ness noun

Secret Squirrel On The Huge Canadian Dollar Crash

Secret Squirrel has noticed a sharp drop in the value of the Canadian dollar..............the Trudeau Canadian Dollar, in short they're taken short, it's worth 68.93 cents against the US dollar.Well does Squirrel have a solution? Yes, you just somehow know he does!! Squirrel has noticed at this URL....

http://www.colonialacres.com/product/51791/1967-canada-s-centennial-wooden-nickel-token-mega72?ref=1636

wooden nickels, 1967 offered at $4.95. The company will ship free on orders over $500.......well now with the Canadian dollar at 68.93cents.......a wooden nickle at $4.95......is very much worth to keep and go to it's value won't drop. So as the Canadian dollar will drop yet more, the Canadian government being enormously befuddled and duddled in the financial sector world wide...take wooden nickels,convert to wooden nickels.Also note the company printing up the wooden nickels makes financial sense and success......we most definately have to get their management to replace the Trudeau Befuddled and Be duddled Canadian government,that makes sense.......you just know it does...Squirrel knows it does,Squirrel saves Canada! Squirrel saves the Canadians!! Squirrel knows how!

Secret Squirrel,
MRL,MP,Dunny On The Wold,
Minister For Re-Deranged Re-Engineering.

Secret Squirrel, An Easily Affordable Mobile Missile Launcher In The Age of Austerity.

Secret Squirrel, An Easily Affordable Mobile Missile Launcher In The Age of Austerity.

https://www.facebook.com/BritainsBiggestTossers/videos/1179923215366003/

Gee, t'is austerity, and being in the MRL,Monster Raving loony Party, and being Secret Squirrel I have become enlightened and see this in the age of austerity being a very austeure inexpensive portable, mobile, missile launcher....here seen undergoing preliminary tests............Squirrel is genius..........Squirrel working for you!!

Secret Squirrel,
MRL,MP,Dunny On The Wold,
Minister For Re-Deranged Re-Engineering.

Secret Squirrel Suggests Ways To Solve California's Lack Of Water

Now Secret Squirrel has been pondering California's great water shortage. And, of course, Squirrel has solutions to the problem, solutions that the American government sadly is not obviously considering nor implementing. Now what is the OTHER MOST IMPORTANT thing in the world besides water.....t'is OIL! BIG OIL! Now each year America imports, in oil, in barrels,
160 million barrels from Saudi Arabia alone......now 1 barrel equates to 34.9723 IMPERIAL gallons,or 41.9 US,or 6,704,000,000 gallons..........now imagine if this was water imported from foreign nations sent in to California......

Now each Californian uses 181 gallons each day....which means 7,022,800,000 gallons consumed per year,by the sum total population of California, population figure being placed at 38.8 million, this makes a deficient of 318,800,000 gallons. Of course did I mention it's JUST Saudi Arabia, and it's oil? Well now what if these oil tankers were water tankers, then, you see water could be transported to California from foreign sources, and notice the tanker capacity in oil,thence transferred to ability to carry water, we see the NUMBERS of tankers necessary just easily matches the numbers of oil tankers, in short, all is possible. Now we DID see a total shortfall, BUT we didn't include ALL foreign oil imports requiring tankers. So IF America built a huge tanker fleet comparable to the Big Oil tanker fleet, it COULD supply California with water from foreign lands.....but it doesn't want to. Tch Tch Tch. Such laggardly government Americans suffer from.

What did America do and fund for the Saudis, and the Israelis who were also short water.........it funded, and built.............salt water water desalination plants,many great numbers of them,in ever increasing sizes. Does the American government do this and fund this, for California and Californian? Nay it does not.

Now there have been ideas,proposed by Americans, when it was realized that the Saudis wanted water, that ice berg be towed to Saudi Arabia and there melted to supply them with water.
Well, Secret Squirrel, says, tow icebergs to California to supply California with water.....but does the American government do this, nor suggest this to itself...nay it does not. But what did it do in it's place.....

What did America do and fund for the Saudis, and the Israelis who were also short water.........it funded, and built.............salt water water desalination plants,many great numbers of them,in ever increasing sizes. Does the American government do this and fund this, for California and Californian? Nay it does not.

Squirrel also eyed BIG OIL's pipelines, and suggested that California have pipelines built for it,funded by the US government as BIG OIl's pipelines are,and pipeline in water from neighbouring states which have water!! Does the US government consider nor do this for Californians? Nay it does not.

So Secret Squirrel suggests to America to do all suggested water supply methods, for the Californians, for the government of the State Of California, for their fellow Americans. So says Squirrel. Why doesn't America do this........."Forget it, Jake; it's Chinatown".

Secret Squirrel,
MRL,

MP,Dunny On The Wold,