Secret Squirrel: How To Turn A Massive Profit On The Simple Cauliflower.

Secret Squirrel: How To Turn A Massive Profit On The Simple Cauliflower.

Secret Squirrel discovers the headlines,

"In Canada, the 8-Dollar Cauliflower Shows the Pain of Falling Oil Prices"

http://mobile.nytimes.com/2016/01/21/business/dealbook/in-canada-5-cauliflowers-cost-more-than-a-barrel-of-oil.html?_r=0

Well, Squirrel knows, Squirrel is wisdom, Squirrel knows it's not the oil prices that affect the cauliflower prices, nay, the oil prices dropped, the cauliflower prices rose, the oil rises, the cauliflower price should drop? Does the price of gold fluctuate, no, gold rises and rises and rises, the precious metals, and so too Squirrel sees the precious Cauliflower. Indeed, in Canada, steamed, sautéed or stir-fried,or as a soup,in stews,breaded,fried and whatever, cauliflower is standard fare on many dinner tables. BUT,in Canada, it is a luxury.

As prices for commodities have dropped,oil and so forth, the value of the Canadian dollar has fallen, a direct link to an economy that is dependent on oil and other resources. It makes imports, like fresh American vegetables during the dark Canadian winter, look especially costly.The drought in California, where Canadians get most of their vegetables in the off-season, just compounds the sticker shock. With less bounty in the fields, farmers’ prices, in American dollars, are higher. The Canadians have even yet taken to buying up land in Mexico, farming it, with cheap, virtual slave underpaid if at all, labour, and there they grow food, whilst the Mexicans starve, and said food is then shipped cheaply in to the USA and Canada where it is sold to feed Canadians, and Americans, all whilst the Mexicans starve.

Well now. How does this effect us, the Brits,for example? Well, our cauliflower prices are but a pittance 49pence, which is .97 Canadian cents you know, a 50% drop. BUT recall, the 8 dollar cauliflower,so 8 dollar cauliflower to pence, give or take we'll round the figures,t'is but a pittance to us, the 8 dollar cauliflower converted to pence works out to 8 x 49pence...3.95 pound.........a 3.95 pound cauliflower....... nay, but said 8 dollar cauliflower converted to pounds is 3.95 pounds, less the .49pence...a profit fully of no less than 3.46 pounds/pence....said full 3.95 could buy, garnered from a single Cauliflower sold to a Canadian, 405.70 pence, or 4.05 pounds, so , starting with a seed cauliflower,even yet a single one, sold to the Canadians.........and we profit profit profit, you see, the more cauliflowers sold to them at $8 Canadian, the merrier we are in solid British pounds! We convert the currency garnered to British pounds and buy yet more and more and ever increasingly, multiplying more, cauliflower!!

Now do you really need your cauliflower, couldn't you like broccoli for example, perhaps psychologically looking at it as a green cauliflower,really, and thence part with your cauliflower and sell it to the Canadians, growing it anywhere and everywhere we,and you, could, and should, including the system of buying Mexican lands cheaply from the Mexican government, to grow it there and sell it to the Canadians. Why we would garner huge,absolutely huge, profits.

Yes, Squirrel knows, there is profit in confusion, Canada is a confused land, there is profit in Canada,there is profit in Cauliflower! Yes, please see Squirrel's new, going soon to production, financial film, Cauliflower:The New Hope........I'm working on it and shall have my cousin, George Lucas, produce and create it, as he has some experience in producing films.
As they say in Canada, never let it be said, that Squirrel, gave you a bum steer, nor a cheap cauliflower. And if our laggardly government would wisely engage in this,Squirrel's cauliflower venture, and speculation,why the massive amounts of currency so garnered, would produce a Britain as sound as the pound.

Secret Squirrel,
MRL,MP,(Dunny On The Wold),
Minister For Re-Deranged Re-Engineering.