Secret Squirrel's Points On How To Win An Election In America,Or Nazi Germany For That matter,it Worked For Adolf, It Can And Will Work For You

Secret Squirrel has studied American election proceedings, and has noticed what they do to win elections.......at least those who will and do win, stand out amongst the rest, and here is why, what Squirrel has discovered is the key to success........

1. Always try and read the opposing political person’s mind. Never wait until the other person (or country) explains itself.If that fails, try the Ouija board.
2. Judge before you are judged.
3. Never give the other side the benefit of the doubt.
4. Always jump to conclusions.
5. Never seek any outside assistance.
6. What you say is what you mean, even if that isn’t so.
7. Change your mind randomly and without notice.
8. Always treat the other side like they were mentally deficient if not criminally insane.
9. Impute evil intentions to every act of the other.
10. When all else fails, do not respond at all.
11. There are two possible meanings to everything, if in doubt, explain that they took it the wrong way.
12. Launch a public relations campaign disputing your opponents.
13. Predict dire economic consequences, and ignore the cost benefits.
14. Find and pay a respected scientists to argue persuasively against incumbent government environmental policies.
15. Use non-peer reviewed scientific publications or industry-funded scientists who don’t publish original peer-reviewed scientific work to support your point of view on matters of public health and environment.
16. Trumpet discredited scientific studies and myths supporting your points of view as scientific fact.
17. Point to the substantial scientific uncertainty, and the certainty of economic loss if immediate action is taken with respect to problems.
18. Use data from a local area to support your views, and ignore the global evidence.
19. Disparage scientists, saying they are playing up uncertain predictions of doom in order to get research funding when encountering global warming issues.
20. Complain that it is unfair to require regulatory action in Britain, as it would put the nation at an economic disadvantage.
21. Claim that more research is needed before action should be taken on things to do with public Health and Safety.
22. Refuse to answer questions.
23. Insult your opponents, totally, utterly and completely, even yet involve their immediate family members and friends.
24. Show your opponents all and total utter manners of disrespect.
25 Degrade your opponents, and members of the press,show them utterly no respect.
26. Anyone who from the crowd challenges your opinions, statements, policies et all, have them thrown out by security.
27. Show complete and utter disrespect and contempt for any and all regarded as immigrants, foreigners, those of foreign origins, them,their behaviour, their customs.
28. Don't reveal nor display any comment or opinion of any sort with respect to any foreign policy matters, in short don't reveal you don't have any by refusing to answer questions concerning any foreign policy you might have, or not.if they persist, just insult them, the press and also your opponents.
29. Make yourself seem smart and educated, and try to appear so in public, at meetings at debates,belittle your opponents, claim they're not educated properly, or used influence to obtain degrees, suggest their IQ's are lower.
30. Showmanship, be loud,brash,brazen, provocative,disgusting,insulting to set you apart from your opponents,yell and scream a lot, appeal to the masses, let the masses hear what they want to hear, it worked for the insane and megalomanic Hilter you know, it'll work for you too.
31. Adolf Hitler and the Nazis waged a modern whirlwind campaign in 1930 unlike anything ever seen in Germany. Hitler traveled the country delivering dozens of major speeches, attending meetings, shaking hands, signing autographs, posing for pictures, and even kissing babies..and you just know American politicians have followed this pattern ever since.
32. Offer the people they needed most, encouragement. Give them heaps of vague promises while avoiding the details. Use simple catchphrases, repeated over and over.
33. Begin each debate in low, hesitating tones, gradually raising the pitch and volume of voice then exploding in a climax of frenzied indignation,attack your opponents, attack those asking questions.
34. After a series of debates, refuse even to appear,belittling your opponents,showing contempt for the press, and......really the people, they just love being abused, they're used to it you know,you're rich,richer than they are........all of them, they love it,secretly relishing such abuse.
35. Offer something to everyone: work to the unemployed; prosperity to failed business people; profits to industry; expansion to the Army; social harmony and an end of class distinctions to idealistic young students; and restoration of (American,British) glory to those in despair.
35. Promise to bring order amid chaos; a feeling of unity to all and the chance to belong. Make (America,Britain) strong again; end payment of war reparations to the Allies; tear up the treaty of Versailles; stamp out corruption; keep down Marxism/Communism; and deal harshly with the powerless immigrants.
36. Play up to the rich, and the industrialists, attack the trade unions.
37. Offer the working class protection for jobs,your protection, indicating yours is greater than that of the abilities of the weak and wimpering and useless unions.
38. To farmers offer increased prosperity, whilst at the same time promising people lower prices, neither will notice the other.
39. To the middle class offer restoration of law and order.
40. To women,offer emphasis on family, religion, and morals, never mind your comments, its YOUR family.