Secret Squirrel Advises The American Government How To Reduce It's National Debt To Zero AT ZERO Cost.

The America government, through not fault of it's own, has not consulted with Secret Squirrel on it's economy,nor has the British government for that matter......to their great detriment. However, in demonstrating Squirrel's sheer economic genius, Squirrel has decided, as an example of his great mental cunning, fortitude, intelligence, nay need I say cosmic genius to solve America's great national debt crisis.
Indeed Squirrel CAN SAY, and indeed does, that he has studied, directly ECONOMICS under John Kenneth Galbraith, writer of many many great economics works,and Economics advisor to President Kennedy, and under Dr. Sani, in Canada, one time Economics Advisor to the Canadian government. So knowing that you just know Squirrel has a solution to America's debt crisis.
Firstly I must explain the American economic system,financial system, based on the US dollar, on which the world seems to be dependent and uses as a marker of value of their currency. Indeed secondly, nations build up debts, great debts, and due to various debt factors their using the US dollar as standard economically, their currencies fluctuate against the dollar, dropping against,it, but never rising above it.....since it is the standard used.
Now in America, they use The American dollar, now as the United States builds debts, it needs money to run itself, and of course, it's very very many great foreign wars,pay for it's massive military, pay for it's massive government bulk etc, such that it cannot afford National Healthcare as other nations do. Well, when a government, the American government, runs out of money they have massively bloviationally fired crisis in government, in the end with much strainings and fartings, they agree........and the Government then prints up Treasury Certificates, with massive dollar amounts on them, an I.O.U. really is what it is, it then approaches the Federal Treasury with it, the treasury takes it, looks at the amount, and prints up the stated amounts of US dollars.
The Treasury certificate is thence placed away on a pile of other such certificates.Of course, the figures printed up add to the National Debt. So How will America solve it's now 19 trillion and mounting National Debt, how will it pay it off? With the printed certificate dollars GIVEN to other nations to pay off their debts?
No it seems not.....but that IS YET ONE WAY to pay off their national debt to other foreign nations, BUT the US government is loath to do this. So how is America to do it. Well in some ways exactly like that.......Now, figure this, there are 15 nations with debts in the TRILLIONS, the rest are in the paltry BILLIONS.
Now consider this, 19trillion, divided by the other debt ridden nations, over a trillion in debt,each, which total 14, gives 1.35trillion each.
Now picture this you American there, the American government goes to The Treasury..........not....what the government must do is go to each Nation of the 14 debt miscreants, and each MUST be told. This brings Hong Kong,Belgium.Australia to ZERO debt, Canada has then 100 Billion, Switzerland 300billion, China 380Billion, Singapore 400Billion, Spain 1 trillion, Italy 1.3 trillion, Japan 1.5trillion, Luxembourg 2.1billion, Germany 4.3trillion, France 4.4Trillion, UK 8trillion.........all other nations keep their debts as they are.
All he has to do, really without bothering with the print up currency process, is just present each nation with the certificate, pronounce their debt reduced by 1.35Trillion, and take back the certificate, indeed he need not print up certificates for each, just use that one in line for each, thence return to The Treasury Department, pronounce America's debt at ZERO, and burn all the existent and existing Treasury I.O.U. Certificates, and start again.
NOW all those 14 nations have been paid, their debts have been reduced, well they should be happy, and America, has really spent no money, and it's debt is thence at zero, and it should be happy, and can commence to increase again by the same rate and whatever and where ever.
The Treasury department can thence simply burn all those I.O.U. which have thence been paid on return to the united States from those 14 foreign nations which have had their debts reduced, and thence the I.O.U. Treasury Certificates can ALL be burned, and the system entirely restarted. It works............Squirrel has seen it. The USA now has ZERO debt having PAID out to those nations each 1.3 trillion lowering the US debt to absolutely zero.......The only problem the United States and it's dimwitted government is to get those foreigners of those foreign governments to accept the 1.3 trillion payout towards their debt..............BUT.............................what?  Is the American government wise enough and intelligent enough to do it...........??
Well, for one thing the US government hasn't had, no it seems shall ever have, the utter genius to think about that and just do it.......too easy is it..........sad sorry state of affairs it is in America's government, getting worse every day, and gotten far worse and will get yet more ridiculously and laughably worse......Or will they sulk it having been Squirrel's economic idea.....?
We shall see...we shall see.....we shall see....but any American government which doesn't follow Squirrel's advice...........is and must be utterly and completely.............mental.
Secret Squirrel,
MRL,MP,Dunny On The Wold,
Minister For Re-=Deranged re-Engineering.

Secret Squirrel Calculates How To Bring Everybody's National Debt to Equal Zero Balance.

Secret Squirrel has pondered the horrific state of the economies of the world, with respect to the greatest problem of all, the national debts of each and every nation of the world. Squirrel has not pondered idley,recall he was a student of the brilliantly minded John Kenneth Galbraith,teaching in Montreal at the Sir George Williams Night High School,where Squirrel was priviledged to be allowed to learn in the class he taught,Galbraith the great American economist and writer of many books concerning economics and economies on the national and global scale,and who was the
economic adviser to the American President, John Fitzgerald Kennedy, and also of Dr. Sani,under whom Squirrel studied, again in Montreal, at the famous and most reverend and reverred and respected school of the Jesuit Fathers, Loyola Of Montreal(before the time the government of the day actually seized, tho they stated...absorbed, said grand and great
learning institution and incorporated it in to their government school,Sir George Williams University,sadly,Sani  the great Canadian economist who was the advisor to the Government of Canada. They would indeed be proud for Squirrel has come up with a viable mathematical solution which would bring everybody to a state of zero debt, and then some, for some, many, nay, all the other nations of the world.

Interestingly it involves bringing America's utterly horrific and ever building, and never paid national debt to zero balance with respect to the other nations of the world which have a national debt as well, but, of course, far lower than that of America's. Now let us consider.

The marketable debt of the U.S. government has more than doubled--climbing by 106 percent--while the present President Barack Obama,of America, was,and still is yet at time of writing, in office,guiding the US economy,increasing from $5,749,916,000,000 at the end of January 2009,basicly round and about when he took(some say literally), office.Well, he
spent it, on what nobody knows for sure, but he spent it, and having neededmoney he didn't have, he came up with it,by simply printing up treasury certificates, and then having the US Treasury Department, print up money for him! Sadly other nations don't have the US Treasury Department to do that to,and with. and then he simply spent it all, and he calls it the national debt, refers to it as the national debt, a national debt he keeps mysteriously adding to spending money he doesn't have.In between all this he made certain veiled and mysterious threats
about other nations debts,and national debt, and claiming they were insolvent,in a state of insolvency, bankruptcy, since they had spent money they hadn't and so were in debt from various governmental errors and mismangements and whatever else he could think of and was threatening them all with whatever he does and did and continues to.What the heck he's the American President and that's what he does round and about the world.
So Squirrel has pondered this horrific state of affairs, the general state of affairs, involving, the nations of the world, and the global national debt situation which the American President keeps complaining about to to and against all the other nations of the world.Well Squirrel has a solution which is and should be fair and equitable to and for all.......as Squirrel a champion of the cricket pitch, where equality,justice,fair play, and fairness rule,obviously is right for the task and solution at hand for all.
So the US external debt stands at $17,344,649,899,999,the next highest is Britain at $10,090,000,000,000,so we subtract, this makes the USA total national debt, all by itself at what would be and is $7,254,649,899,999, a global zero figure as it were.So to be equal ,Britain, must be allowed to spend that sum to come equal,to the zero state,the equal state, and thence everybody else,each other nation of the world,would apply the same mathematical formula, in all
equality and fairness,would hit in equity zero and equal zero debt,for them, against the American,thence taken as zero debt. But it is to be remembered that nations such as Australia,which have far less national debt, balanced against the US national debt, would be entitled therefore to very much more,of course to be equal and come to zero debt in proper
fashion, and so too other nations, all other nations, would be so entitled to apply the mathematical formula here expounded by Squirrel.But also,of course,remember that Singapore,Macau,British Virgin Islands,Brunei,Leichenstein,Taiwan, and Palau, having zero national debt to start with, and so applying Squirrel's formula,in all fairness and equality,would thence be entitled to the full original   sum of America's national debt, $17,344,649,899,999, and good for'em as well............!!!!! Lucky they.

It's not that easy,though, you're saying.Well you're right. It isn't. We must factor in the nations Public debt as well(internal as it were). Well,let's continue to be fair now,the US internal national debt is a figure  of 72.50 % against the GDP, well that makes a profit of 27.5 % which must be applied downwards of the aforesaid total NATIONAL external debt,since it reflects also the GDP of the debtor nation(s).Britain's is 90% so they only would get a 10% applied in the green column towards their final debt free calculation,so to go to zero for America they could thence
apply only 17.5% in actuality for the final figure each nation would thence use, and so too every other nation of the world, in and after like and kind,or the negatively and/or to zero as the income tax forms state. So you see, all's well and good for everybody in the rest of the world,and since the other nations have all been then compensated with an equality with America, the extra cash to spend as they say fit.That leaves America essentially at zero debt since it all balances well and good,against each and every nation of the world, and good for them, and good and great for the
rest of the nations of the world which now get to spend as they will the cash they are really in all equality and equity entitled to to bring them on par with America, the big zero debtwise.

So you see, all that remains is for the nations of the world, and their economists,to sit down with the Americans, explain it all to them and say we all now each have an extra $7,254,649,899,999(MORE,yes, indeed, I have surmised, for nations who have less debt than Britain just mentioning that here Britain was used as a base calculation, all other nations having less debt, their debt figures applied, would have therefor substantially MORE than the UK would
have,however to keep things simple for the politicians of the world, we have to keep things simple and use the calculations for the UK,Britain as it were,was,and still is,as yet.), to spend as we see fit,for whatever we see fit,or actually they,being the other nations of the world, and America doesn't as it has spent it already.But hey, the national debts have now been cancelled and put to paid by it all, and everybody can start to accumulate a national debt as well, however it would only accrue once each had spent their $7,254,649,899,999 and not before. America would start
at zero, with a clean slate, just adding and building to the,their national debt once more, in and after the fashion they did before, and so would rightly and justly and in all equality, have no just cause for complaints,since after all, all nations would be equal in their own eyes, and..............the eyes of America now wouldn't they?


Secret Squirrel,
MRL,(Monster Raving Loony Party),
MP,(Dunny On The Wold),
Minister For Re-Deranged Re-Engineering.

Secret Squirrel Makes The National Debt Work For You

Secret Squirrel has seen that there is a great problem what with the economics of the economythe,National Debt, not only that of the UK,that is Britain,(England), Northern Ireland,Scotland and Wales, but all other nations within what was the EEC (the European Economic Union) and is now known as The European Union,(the EU),problems it seems pointed out by the Americans,of course, they do enjoy pointing out other nations problems, that nations besides themselves are in danger of defaulting their debts and this displeases the Americans who are pleased to be in a similar situation,which the other nations seem not allowed to mention nor reference nor refer ,nor infer to, but in not mentioning it to anybody in particular, and America hopes that they,the other nations, and our government incumbent, won't notice,and don't,notice.A successful ploy it is too, workable, sadly. So we seem to be forced in to a situation of reducing our increasing meager national debt in order to please the Americans whose national debt of bloated and ever burgeoning to grotesque obscene rates. well, the governments,of the UK, incumbent and past,were and are unable to solve this problem with the Americans,and one is quite sure that if they,the governments of the UK, if they ever had an original idea, it would die of loneliness,and so we,I,myself,Secret Squirrel, you and the MRL, have a problem of what they call the National Debt.So lets look at our field position with respect to that.

The US debt lists at 54 trillion..............in printed currency,theirs,not ours.The UK debt lists debt at 1.1 trillion,in dollars, no doubt hoping that the Americans can count it,or perhaps miscount it,and England is handicapped and saddled what
with Northern Ireland,Scotland and Wales,so there is a lot to play with here, in terms of figures and data,mathematically speaking. Now how do we get money in to the hands of the people to fuel,fire up,run,drive and whatever, our economy.Well, let's give our retirees a break, and use them to help us.What we do is give each 1 million pounds for example on retirement.This will encourage early retirement, making more jobs available for the unemployed and so fuel the economy on the job scene, the fluid cash flow area. Let look at the figures involved in that.25000 retire each year, time s 1000000 gets 25000000000 or 25 billion each year, 1 trillion every 4 years,which is what that scheme would cost.............but at 500000 that'd halve all, 1 trillion every 8 years,so we have an option, a Plan A at 1 million pounds, on retirement, or a suggested Plan B, at half that, halving costs. But giving that to retirees would allow them to spend that and so would fuel the economy quite nicely.Also to be considered,on their deaths, the inheritances would pass on the available economic fuel currency.Now all that remains is can we economically finance it all to the satisfaction of the ever irritating nuisances in things of the global economy and the internal economies of all the nations of the world, aside from it,the Americans.

We can, consider this,the American system itself, working for them, as we will make it similarly work for us,not that the Americans like to work for anybody else.Face it the United States,has a huge ever growing, massively,economic debt,and we find that it actually fuels,errr, pays, it's debt, by printing up Treasury Certificates whenever it needs extra money what with all the where with all and wars and invasions it runs,and these Treasury Certificates have monetary values printed up on them, the money the United States government wants and whatever needs for whatever it wants. So the government goes to the Treasury Department,and gives them The Certificate to keep and put safely away.The debt figure is then simply incremented accordingly,to the Treasury Department, and thence the Treasury Department,through the United States Mint, prints up the
currency value demanded. That's how that works. Well,surely the UK could well do the same, never mind Europe. Currently the Americans were and are after respectively or not, Spain,Iceland, Greece etc concerning their debts and possibilities of default over there debts, never minding that America is about to default on its debt,and hence to escape must again print up more Treasury Certificates.That's politics, that's economics, the politics and economics of the United States with respect to the rest of the world in sum toto, which means directly, in it's entirety.

So why again, can the UK not simply print up said Treasury Certificates as it needs? Not part of The System?Well, it could be. under an MRL government we could simply print up Treasury Certificates as well,and lacking the American Treasury Department, we could simply present the Treasury Certificates to them, for them to print up the money required for us.Surely they wouldn't complain, but would be accommodating.Failing that, as is most likely with our fair weather friends, that being the Americans, well, we could have the Bank Of England do and adopt the same system with respect to the UK could we and they not?We could further assuage the Americans who for some reason might object as they object to the possible default of Spain,Ireland,Iceland,Greece etc and whatever et all,meaning including.

What we also could do, and I do mean also,at the very same time,is to generate yet more additional funds,meaningful funds, to actually take in currency,to please the Americans,by further reducing OUR national debt, is very simple in it's mechanism, so unique and so cunning it is yet no surprise it has not occurred to any incumbent and previous government aside from myself, and so hence the MRL,through myself.Quite simply put, the government dishes out the DOLE,not the pineapple,but welfare as it were, funds for doing nothing, funds for not working,not being gainfully employed etc and whatever.Well, they receive their dole, currency, from the government, which hands it out as THEY need it. Of course it is increased when those on the dole need or ask for it,which renders the immune to and from everything, including fuel purchases,heating costs,food purchases, electric uses and rates,clothing costs,rental costs and increases,water rates and uses etc etc etc etc.Well now, what about taxing said dole folk?Yes, you see we tax those on the dole, and at higher rates than those who are forced to work for their living and pay for it all, and those on the dole.We tax those on the dole, they can't really complain and grumble as they simply go to the government to pay for it all with money the government would give them to do so, and so the government would then take in monies and us it to proper use, such as reducing any accruing National Debt. Ah you see the sense and sensibility in it all now don't you! A system which actually works,works for you, not against you, works to paying off a national debt, and seeing to it you're comfortable in your age! Yes,indeed! All that remains is for you to get and have it all.....and the only way you can get it,is to vote MRL!!

Secret Squirrel,
MRL,(MP),Dunny On The Wold,
Minister For Re-Deranged Re-Engineering.

Secret Squirrel Finds Skirt Length Is The Measure Of The Economy.

Secret Squirrel has made a scientific study of the economy,and, being the savante that he is,the economic connaisseur,the shaman that he is,the necromancer of the economy, the Mesmer of things financial, has determined,by a study so scientifically researched he has been able to find a predictable indicator of the economy as it is and a predictor of the economy as it shall be.In the long, and the short of things, Squirrel has determined that the length of skirts,mini skirt to the maxi skirt,as hemlines rise and fall, indicates the economy of the day as it is and is also reflected in the value of stocks on the stock market.Indeed just look at the evidence Squirrel has gathered, and subjected it to the most severe scientific scrutiny.

Indeed Squirrel was not, and has not, been the first.In 1926 professor George Taylor from the University of Pennsylvania came up with the hemline index.
Although funny at first – it has proven itself well against the test of time.The hemline index stands for professor Taylor’s observation that hemlines on women’s dresses rise along with stock prices. Or in other words – as the economy gets better women get shorter and shorter skirts – topping with the miniskirt. When the economy gets worse they tend to wear longer skirts.This was also noted with respect to the stock market,the idea that skirt lengths are a predictor of the stock market direction.The key to success in the stock market is simple: buy low and sell high. The hard part is knowing when the market will be low and when it will be high. To address this challenge, Squirrel has come up with metrics that have nothing to do with alpha beta, the Sharpe ratio or any of the other more traditional analytical measures,indeed not, the metrics have to do with the shortness of skirts as worn by females(kilted Scottsmen don't count, as the Scottish kilt is usually unvarying in
its preceived length,but on the other hand the Scottish economy has been also stagnent for centuries).

In the 1960s there was a stock analyst named Ralph Rotnem who was head of research for an old white shoe brokerage house called Harris, Upham & Company. Mr. Rotnem made the Harris Upham (which later merged into Smith Barney) name slightly famous because of his really famous “hemline theory.” Mr. Rotnem had noticed that as hemlines on women’s skirts moved up (or down, according to the season), so too went the Dow Jones Industrials. According to the theory, if skirts are short, it means the markets are going up. And if skirt are long, it means the markets are heading down.The idea behind this theory is that shorter skirts tend to appear in times when general consumer confidence and excitement is high, meaning the markets are bullish. In contrast, the theory says long skirts are worn more in times of fear and general gloom, indicating that things are bearish.So we see,in skirting issues financial, the skirt length affects both the economy in general, and the stock market is applied directly as a tool, to the skirt.

We see that while rising skirt lengths are a symbol of youth, playfulness and women's liberation,are they also related most directly,to any given nation's prosperity.But it is a proveable and direct fact,that skirt hems rose to miniskirt shortness in the 1920s (flappers) and in the 1960s (mods), peaking with stock prices in the US both times.In the 1960s,stock prices were not exactly high,but there certainly wasn't a depressed market, by any means, and the early part of the period is remembered for its economic affluence and high employment rate. The standard of living improved steadily throughout the decade.

The 1960s are thought of as being “swinging” and liberal, with increased consumer confidence and the blossoming of pop culture that spread across the world.So, rising hemlines are an indication of the mood of the times,and reflected in the
stock market. The shortening of skirts shows a general increase in friskiness, excitement and daring among the population, and long skirts are worn in times of fear and general gloom. The stock market changes direction in step with these
expressions of mood. Floor-length fashions appeared in the 1930s and 1970s (the Maxi), and the price of stocks dropped at the same time.

Let's look at the general scientific evidence correlating the length of skirts with the economy and the stock market.........

The high skirts of the 20s were a complete break from centuries where women's dresses and skirts ended somewhere between the ankle and the floor. Not much room for correlation with this Golden Age or that Panic. Sweet Young Things and wannabes during the Roaring Twenties wore knee-length skirts.
1920's: Highest stock prices in the early part of that century. Very short flapper skirts.

Then there is the experience of the Great Depression of the 1930s.The 1930's: The Great Depression began in 1929, bringing the worst economic conditions in American memory. Women wore very conservative ankle-dusting skirts.Floor length fashions were it in the 1930's, when the Dow Jones Industrial Average plunged from 395 to 195 in 1929, and to 40 in 1931. By 1935 hems dropped to a few inches above the ankle: call it the lower calf area. And in the early 1940s hems were back to the lower edge of the knee.

So far, so good for the theory.

Flip to post-World War 2. Wartime skirt lengths came crashing down with Dior's New Look launched in 1947. For the next dozen years or so, skirt hems hovered near mid-calf. During which time we went through at least two economic downturns of note (1949 and 1958) plus Eisenhower's prosperity years.1940's and '50's: This was a post-War economy. Women were still adjusting to our entrance in the workplace; family life restructured. Employment recovered, but the War took a terrible toll on morale -- and therefore on investment. Skirts were tea-length or just higher, hitting the knee.

As the 1958 recession eased, hems did rise in accord with the recovery. Around 1960 came A-line dresses where hems were just below the knee. As 1960s prosperity continued, hems went up. And up and up until the turn of the decade when there were miniskirts, micro-minis and and all sorts of eye-candy. I'm not sure whether this had anything to do with the economy or if it was launched by the invention of pantyhose in the late 60s.1960's: Boomtime. This was a period of enormous growth. The mini skirt debuted in 1965.

1970's: America suffered with the Oil Crisis in '73 and a market crash the following year. Mini skirts were out; the "mod" decade took a breather. Women wore long, flowy skirts and dresses and welcomed the "gas, grass, or ass" Grateful Dead-following drifter years.

1980's: The '80's were a power decade. Shoulder pads for men and women. Women wore power suits with shorter skirts. After the 1987 Black Monday crash hemlines dropped.

1990's: Skirts stayed longish for the first part of the decade, then hiked to retro microminis as the market gained strength. The second half of the '90's saw growth and lots of bare thigh.Madonna helped bring back the miniskirt in the mid-'90's. You
guessed it: The ticker was up again, this time rushing to 10,000.

2000's: We stuck with short lengths for a few years, but in 2008 the markets plunged the furthest they've gone since the Great Depression. And fashion is having another nostalgic moment -- nostalgic for the long Bohemian styles of the 70's, and reinventing drapey silhouettes.

Correlation is causation. The theory scientifically holds!When times are good, fashions do indeed show skin,lots of skin, hemlines are short, it's mini-skirt time! When fashions change,to short skirts, times are good! If you are speculating on the stock market, you'd best be buying in recessions when the market,hence the stocks, are low, and affordable,and selling based on skirt length,when skirts are short!Smart market watchers take their cues from watching women's legs.

According to the skirt length theory, when skirts get shorter, it's time to buy; when skirts get longer, it's time to sell. The logic behind this indicator dictates that positive markets lead to a happy nation and an atmosphere of fun. Fun times send hemlines rising, making micro minis great for the markets, while conservative floor-length dresses are bad news.

The newest skirt-length survey, conducted on the Internet from Jan. 21 -- Feb. 12 by Market Strategies International, acknowledged history, asking: "They say that hemlines will go up when the economy improves; if that's true, where do you
think skirt lengths will be this spring?" Possible answers were ankle duster (uncertain times ahead), just below the knee (cautious optimism), above the knee (light at the end of the tunnel) and cheesecake (good news ahead).
In all, 82% fell in the below and above the knee categories, with 14% more pessimistic and 4% going for the cheese. While the results are encouraging -- if you put stock in the theory, that is -- consider that in 2004, 51% of those surveyed predicted above-the-knee skirts, compared to 38% today.So keep a sharp eye on hemlines,and when they're short, laissez les bons temps roullez!!!!!!!!


Secret Squirrel,
M.R.L.,(MP,Dunny On The Wold),
Minister For Re-Deranged re-Engineering.

Solving The Recession,Making The Economy Boom

MRL Solves The Recession,The Economy To Boom!!


I,Secret Squirrel,have heavily researched the economy,the recession,and have correlated the data with the length of female skirts.Notice the present headlines,U.S.Skirts Recession,How Moldava Skirts the Global Recession,EU Skirts Double Dip Recession.Well,The adage is this: Hemlines fall during recessions.

The Roaring '20s short, flapper hemline dropped right along with the Great Depression in the 1930s. The miniskirts of the booming 1960s turned into maxi dresses and long peasant skirts during the oil crisis and recession of the 1970s.Want to Fix the Economy? Wear a Mini Skirt!Yes! Wear a miniskirt!Miniskirts flooded the runways during the economic boom in the 60's then again in the booming 80s.

History suggests that as skirt lengths rise, so does the stock market,and so too does then economy.So if government knows what it's doing,and cares at all, the whole lot should start to wear miniskirts,for the good of the people,for the good of the economy.


Secret Squirrel,
MRL,
Minister For Re-Deranged Re-Engineering.

MRl Solves Financial Crisis' Of Modern Times

Keywords:

mrl, money, currency,economy, financial, finances

MRL Solves Financial Crisis Of The Day,By Printing Money,Cheaply.


The core problem in today's financial crisis is that our beliefs about "money" have been shattered. We have lost faith in our "money". We woke up one morning and realized "money" wasn't real at all. It was just gone.Well I have discovered the system of the world that works in tiny third world countries, and in the illusionary high power economy nation of America.Now ponder this.

A Canadian company by the name British American Banknote Co., based in Ottawa - a subsidiary of Quebecor- has been printing large amounts of money for Somali Warlords, as reported in an article from the National Post of Canada on the 23rd June 99, and probably still does. They pay so much for the printing, and they get their money, lots more of their currency, printed up for them for their use.It worked.

Last Tuesday, the U.S. government announced that the budget deficit would reach $9 trillion over the next 10 years—$2 trillion more than previous projections. “That’s going to be negative for the dollar,” said Adam Boyton, a currency analyst at Deutsche Bank AG. Seeing the U.S. borrow so much will not increase investors’ faith in the dollar.The federal deficit/debt wants to try to reach Pluto. The answer is for the government to ask the Fed to just keep providing blank checks (ie, print money), ad infinitum.

According to the Telegraph, China has warned a top member of the US Federal Reserve that it is increasingly disturbed by the Fed's direct purchase of US Treasury bonds.
You see what happens there, is the US government prints up Treasury Bonds, they then go to the Federal Reserve,which prints up money. It prints up money and buys the Treasury Bonds from the government(American), thus giving the American government money, and the keep the Treasury Bonds(later they can shred and recycle them).It works............So, the US government which didn't have any money at any particular time, bailed out Enron,bailed out the car companies, ran massively expensive wars.........all with money it suddenly found it had by simply printing up the none existent money in to an existent world.

Well, what works for America should work for Britain. I propose we apply a combined Canadian and American system of printing up money. We use the printed Bond system that America uses, the British government printing up the bonds, and then have the Bank Of England buy the bonds, simply printing up the currency as we need, BUT we go with the cheaper system of having a foreign banknote printing company do the printing and so realize a greater saving by printing up in a cheaper location.
However, we go one better and perhaps heal our differences with the Zimbabwe government, and have the Zimbabwe Printing Company print up the required pounds at a really cheaped rate. Thus we have more money to spend, the government has an unlimited supply(look at the vast sums the American government procurred under its printing program).Since "money" is essentially a belief system, to solve our problem we need to recreate that belief system,produce and exhibit more money, increasing government spending in the private sectors, injecting money in to private businesses, injecting more money in to governmental social structure! As the French say,"Laissez Les Bons Temps Roullez", and it is money which makes the good times roll.Economic problems solved!!!!!!!!!

Secret Squirrel,
MRL,
Minister For Re-Deranged Re-Engineering.


.......................

Here's a bit of economic advice from me, Secret Squirrel,MRL,Minister for Re-Deranged Re-Engineering.......................

There's an easy way for the Republicans or Democrats to make money in this disgusting economic collapse situation, beside simply printing it up as necessary. What they should do, is simply tell the Canadians that their money is now worth only 50 cents U.S. Now since the Canadians have to buy from the U.S. in American dollars(since nobody else I'll take Canadian money anyway), what America offers to do, is to BUY up Canadian money giving them useful American money, $1 U.S. and $.1, Canadian taken in..........now that's 50% increase, as in 50 cents Canadian times two to the dollar(Canadian). Now since the British pound is pegged against the Canadian Dollar, we simply have to buy up British pounds using the Canadian money(since Britain has to take Canadian currency). What we then do with the British pound, is convert that to American money..............and PRESTO!! We've made a profit on the international money market, doubling our useful currency!! But are the Republicans or Democrats intelligent enough to do it? Britain should do this too but the New Labour government has far too much angst concerning the Canadians to make it work.

Secret Squirrel,
MRL,
Minister for Re-Deranged Re-Engineering

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Secret Squirrel,Financial Genius,Doctor's The Economy

Keywords:

monster,raving,loony,party,economics,economy,financial,finances,money,cheques,war,invasion,army


Financing An MRL Britain Through............WAR?? Of Sorts, But Not Quite.

Let’s seriously consider financing,the MRL, and Britain. Let’s look at America, a nation with massive debts, yet poor as it is, they came up with further spending to a debt now encompassing TRILLIONS,by declaring a non war invasion of Iraq and Afghanistan, and then requisitioning the necessary billions upon billions extra by printing up Treasury Certificates and then going to their Treasury Department and having money printed up against those promisary notes to themselves. Well, if they can do it so can we, as a party we benevolently invade,say Jersey,or perhaps the Channel Islands, Isle of Mann perhaps, cleverly disguised as tourists,without spending on military equipment, etc, without causing damage, merely behaving as tourists,we spend a few months vacationing in disguise, then we decamp back to England, and then claim our BILLIONS!!!!!!!!! Britain can do the same,again, sending a ship or two over to visit Denmark,perhaps, a cruise ship invasion of tourists, people disguised as tourists, behaving as tourists, and then quietly coming home, also claiming BILLIONS for a second invasion!!! Neither Jersey, nor Denmark ,nor anybody else are likely to complain, and everybody will have had a grand time,and they'll not end up looking like Iraq or Afghanistan,everything will be exactly as it is, as it was!! Huzzah!Huzzah!Huzzah!! Sutch is the way of the world, we can’t beat it, then let’s join it!

Secret Squirrel,
MRL,
Minister for Re-Deranged Re-Engineering

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Secret Squirrel of the MRL Comments on Conservative's Osborne's Economic Plans

Osborne sets out eight-point plan to restore nation's finances (and clear up Tories' mixed messages on spending)

Mr Osborne,Conservative(Tory)...... pledged that if elected he would:


The Shadow Chancellor proposed eight benchmarks for voters to judge his party's performance in power.
.according to the Daily Mail....as seen here....
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1247980/George-Osborne-sets-Conservative-plan-restore-nations-finances.html#ixzz0eU1a2lSi

Well the MRL has fathomed ways that his policies could be accomplished, and what's good for everybody is the MRL.............

* Safeguard Britain's credit rating by eliminating a large part of the structural deficit.

Britain's credit rating...........well...eliminating structural deficit, as in debt itself or merely political double speak for throwing out some piles of paper concerning the national debt,that's what they do in India, the man's obviosuly visited and seen how they do it, credit for that though. I outlined a better solution, boils down to my national revolving credit plan, ever dealing with the increasing debt as well..........the revolving credit plan payment of the national debt..........you assign the national debt to a credit card company, you then open multiple credit card accounts for the government, and then you use the credit card company supplied transfer cheques to pay off each credit card company fvromn the other in ever revolving and repetitive fashion, so debts covered, debts paid, A-1 credit rating for Britain, and NO national debt, not yet ever...NO structural deficit at all either, and the government can spend all it wants to as it needs to.

* Boost personal saving, increase exports and business investment.

Well personal saving safeguard?What with banks loosing money, in investments, in mortgages, requiring government bailout, this depends on the governments abilities to continue to bail out the banks, else you'll loose your savings, what is suggested, is, in the basement, or in a corner, go with the medieval barrel banking system,the home banking system, keep the barrel in your home and place your money securely in it,have it securely buried and hidden in the basement, you can't loose, you don't get interest from the banks nowadays anyway, except that they want your money...you want your money too.

* Cut youth unemployment and reduce the number of children in workless households.

Hmmm cut youth unemployment, grand thought, get'em jobs, but where when you've got no jobs, and you've got jobs dropping in numbers and availability,due to foreign firms closing, due to the fact the British firms were and still are sold to foreigners who cut jobs,moved and closed'em....so what's to do..........employ youth cleaning up and sweeping streets and parks, but then that'd add to the national debt as you have to pay them for those created jobs, all be it useful, jobs....best perhaps, laissez faire..however this problem is solved farther on......and, reduce the number of children...............that means birth control....perhaps a system of government ration stamps to allow children when the government requires,or dictated sterilization for the unemployed,mandatory castration on job loss,eh?Whot??

* Increase Britain's international competitiveness by cutting business taxes and regulation.

Well here actually it would do Britain far better to cut personal taxes and regulation,there's more of us than them, and there's far more very much poorer than those who can afford businesses.

* Raise the private sector share of the economy by curbing the state.

Raise the private sector share of the economy, well only affected by doleing out to private BRITISH businesses and businessmen, and encouraging BRITISH private business creation, NOT the foreign as the government has been doing, foreigners don't count in BRITAIN's private sector, as British, they aren't, they're foreigners...as far as curbing the state, well, investment in foreign firms in foreign lands must be chucked in the rubbish bin, curbed as it were, and only investment in Britain permitted,only investment in British firms.

* Increase the productivity of public services.

Increase productivity, well done and said, means more from less that as in more work,less pay, or less workers doing more work, doubling up as it were. Counter productive as it wouldn't deal with unemployment in a good fashion, rather doing the reverse,creating unemployment. Rather better to reduce the amount of work per worker and hiring more workers to do the same job, as in hiring youth and then solving youth unemployment problems.

* Make banks take less risk and offer more credit to small and medium-sized firms.

Well, taking less risk,involves reduced investments and reduced mortgage lending, in short a more secure and guaranteed investment and mortgaging policy. Why not sell Britain through mortgage to Australia,or Japan,the only two nations left that could afford us, which would give Britain then oodles of useful and respected currency, and make Britain Australia's,or Japan's, problem.We could then all move to Australia and live the good life and have a good time as we so justly deserve, or we could simply eat rice till we bung up and look Japanese, and then simply boat over to Japan, who'll notice then.

* Cut greenhouse gas emissions and boost low-carbon industry.

Cut greenhouse gas emissions and boost low carbon...........great idea, compulsory Bean-o tablets for the general public, sheep and cows............elimination of Heinz beans from the national diet, and the mandatory wearing of the newly developed fart filter undies.

Secret Squirrel,
MRL,
Minister For Re-Deranged Re-Engineering.
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MRL Solves Financial Crisis Of The Day,By Printing Money,Cheaply.

The core problem in today's financial crisis is that our beliefs about "money" have
been shattered. We have lost faith in our "money". We woke up one morning and
realized "money" wasn't real at all. It was just gone.Well I have discovered the
system of the world that works in tiny third world countries, and in the illusionary
high power economy nation of America.Now ponder this.

A Canadian company by the name British American Banknote Co., based in Ottawa - a
subsidiary of Quebecor- has been printing large amounts of money for Somali
Warlords, as reported in an article from the National Post of Canada on the 23rd
June 99, and probably still does. They pay so much for the printing, and they get
their money, lots more of their currency, printed up for them for their use.It
worked.

Last Tuesday, the U.S. government announced that the budget deficit would reach $9
trillion over the next 10 years—$2 trillion more than previous projections. “That’s
going to be negative for the dollar,” said Adam Boyton, a currency analyst at
Deutsche Bank AG. Seeing the U.S. borrow so much will not increase investors’ faith
in the dollar.The federal deficit/debt wants to try to reach Pluto. The answer is
for the government to ask the Fed to just keep providing blank checks (ie, print
money), ad infinitum.

According to the Telegraph, China has warned a top member of the US Federal Reserve
that it is increasingly disturbed by the Fed's direct purchase of US Treasury bonds.
You see what happens there, is the US government prints up Treasury Bonds, they then
go to the Federal Reserve,which prints up money. It prints up money and buys the
Treasury Bonds from the government(American), thus giving the American government
money, and the keep the Treasury Bonds(later they can shred and recycle them).It
works............So, the US government which didn't have any money at any particular
time, bailed out Enron,bailed out the car companies, ran massively expensive
wars.........all with money it suddenly found it had by simply printing up the none
existent money in to an existent world.

Well, what works for America should work for Britain. I propose we apply a combined
Canadian and American system of printing up money. We use the printed Bond system
that America uses, the British government printing up the bonds, and then have the
Bank Of England buy the bonds, simply printing up the currency as we need, BUT we go
with the cheaper system of having a foreign banknote printing company do the
printing and so realize a greater saving by printing up in a cheaper location.

However, we go one better and perhaps heal our differences with the Zimbabwe
government, and have the Zimbabwe Printing Company print up the required pounds at a
really cheaped rate. Thus we have more money to spend, the government has an
unlimited supply(look at the vast sums the American government procured under its
printing program).Since "money" is essentially a belief system, to solve our problem
we need to recreate that belief system,produce and exhibit more money, increasing
government spending in the private sectors, injecting money in to private
businesses, injecting more money in to governmental social structure! As the French
say,"Laissez Les Bons Temps Roullez", and it is money which makes the good times
roll.Economic problems solved!!!!!!!!!

Secret Squirrel,
MRL,
Minister For Re-Deranged Re-Engineering.

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MRL Cheques To Remain,Money Goes,It Figures,The System Of Tomorrow,Today.

The Labour government wants to get rid of cheques,by 2018, seemingly indicating they
are of the belief that the electorate will keep them in power until such a time.
Well cheques are not the problem,cheques merely represent a paper figure of said
problem...........money...........the problem.money,the root of all evil as they
say. Well..............get rid of cheques we don't get rid of the problem,in fact we
NEED the cheques, THEY must remain, they represent a "figure" of currency, of money
get rid of money therefor and we do get rid of the problem don't we, no problem, no
money...........replaced with what...........figures on paper,the so called
cheques,the bank deposit records,whatever,figures in a computer, figures manipulated
by a plastic card,by a banking book,by an accounting book? YES! Consider........

-- that the same amount of "figures" tomorrow will have the same purchasing power as
the figures of today.Figures do NOT change, face it say pounds 5000 is pounds 5000
at anytime.

--that we will all have access to "figures" via our paychecks(cheques!!!PAY

CHEQUES!!!)tomorrow like we did last week,we need cheques,we need paycheques,we work
for paycheques, which record the "figures" we receive.

--that as a consequence of having access to "figures"...whether by selling our
stocks,bonds or whatever,which have figures printed on them, or receiving a
paycheck,with figures printed on it,or through bank transfers and automatic payments,
we will be able to pay all our bills,with the figures we have available.

--that if we put our "figures" in a bank,by direct deposit , it will be there
tomorrow if we need it.

I woke up one morning and realized "money" wasn't real at all,only "figures" were.
Since "money" is essentially a belief the monetary system, to solve our problem we
need to create a new system that doesn't depend or rely on money.As government,
which invented money, can invent"figures" enough "figures" to pay all debt off with
"new" "figures",figures which retain their value as figures, being figures. Recall
Germany, which suddenly changed their currency, the MARK, they simply printed up new
marks which had more value than the old marks since the printed man on the new mark
wasn't the same as the old mark which was lower in value since the man on it was a
different man.Anyway you look at it a figure,any figure, is just that figure and
nothing else, nothing higher,nothing lower.
So MONEY goes, cheques remain.

Secret Squirrel,
MRL,
Minister For Re-Deranged Re-Engineering.