Secret Squirrel came across what is, and what has to be, to everyone, an absolutely and utterly horrific headline.......
Metro grinds to a halt as huge power cut hits hundreds of homes and businesses in Newcastle
which was so noted to be found here...
http://www.chroniclelive.co.uk/news/north-east-news/metro-grinds-halt-huge-power-7600783
Well, Squirrel showed no fear, Squirrel knows no fear, for Squirrel
sees the world of the future,the shape of things to come, no gas, no
oil, no natural gas, no electricity, but Squirrel shows no fear. Nay,
Squirrel knows what needs to be done about it all and what shall be
done, what MUST be done.Squirrel knows that we must all present our
backsides to the future. And so looking in hindsight, here, today
Squirrel presents his solutions to the problem. Do read on, and, yes, do
visit the links presented to see how Squirrel envisions the solution to
all problems to do with transportation, with our daily lives, problems
which we now face, but problems which they saw in days of old, problems
that they solved for us then knowing we would need that very thing, now,
and in the future. Here see Squirrel's wisdoms, the wisdoms of our
forefather's, the wisdoms of the ancients.
Yes Squirrel does not
only see problems, but foresees problems, and rather than causing
problems, Squirrel solves problems, problems of the day, with utterly
sound, proven and proveable highly advanced high tech as it were. Well,
how will Squirrel solve the problems, of no electricity, no gas, no oil
and etc for example? Here we continue and commence with the solution.
So, firstly, it'll be back to the rickshaws..........
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/e/e1/Pousse-pousse_Madagascar.jpg
and also
http://travelmattersblog.files.wordpress.com/2014/02/china-rickshaw.jpg
Fine
examples these are, and present yet today by those saving vastly on gas
prices, beating the oil companies, and in yet a very, very green
fashion as well. That'll work in Britain and elsewhere, but that'll
involve the importation of vast amounts of Chinese,still they eat mostly
only rice, or Ramen at best, and far better, of course, they than we.
However
should this not be possible, or the Chinese won't do it, we could
introduce a work for welfare program and so employ those on the dole,
have them work for their keep and kippers. One does also recall the semi
rickshaw type pedicabs at Man and His World, Montreal 1967, Expo '67,
(Squirrel himself, did, indeed, ride about in one) really trikes
(tricycles,for those not in tune with shortened words) with a back sofa
seat, not dissimilar to this luxury chinese version.....
http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2013/06/02/article-2334632-1A0A2F06000005DC-352_634x422.jpg
and
hey, dolled up somewhat, it could easily become the newest most modern
highly technological version of the family........car. Car I did mention
car didn't I, well a full version is being worked on and is present in
our modern day technology.Here we see the basic bicycle car, imagine now
we simply top over it a suitable automobile shell.....
http://www.shoppedornot.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/05/car-shopped-or-not.png
http://www.chatnbike.com/WebObjects/FamilyCycleGroupOrder.woa/Contents/WebServerResources/images/cycles/quattro7.jpg
and indeed here we have a pedal powered caravan, that's trailer home to you yanks across the puddle......
http://inhabitat.com/camper-bike-pedal-powered-rv-for-one/wp-content/blogs.dir/1/files/camperbike-ed01-537x356.jpg
and, for those too lazy to pedal well, here is yet another version of the caravan, the deluxe version so to speak,
but it'll be a little more costly as the horse must be maintained...
http://floridamemory.com/fpc/reference/rc04603.jpg
and
, of course, we shall never loose the car if WE further adapt as so
many have, mostly in Asia, Africa, Mexico, Central and South America,and
actually parts of France and Spain (I've seen it)...
https://landing.athabascau.ca/mod/file/thumbnail.php?file_guid=168524&size=large&icontime=1348849070
or
http://howmany.org/images/bull_and_cab.jpg
Now
cities with trolleys can still keep their trolleys, no need for
everybody to go off their trolleys. Recall in the days of wiser older
wisdom, horses pulled them as we see here.......
http://freepages.history.rootsweb.ancestry.com/~dickbolt/HorseDrawnChicopee.jpg
The same goes for what was then called the omnibus..or bus as it is today,
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/5/59/Star_Omnibus_Company_horse_bus,_2010_Cobham_bus_rally.jpg
But hey, intercity bus, stagecoach, again pulled by the horse...
http://www.dyslexia-aware.com/dawn/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/stagecoach.jpg
and here we can see what will one day be a modern freight train......
http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:StateLibQld_1_298491_Work_horses_pulling_trucks_loaded_from_the_quarry_at_Point_Danger,_ca._1903.jpg
Clearly
also, passenger train can be kept, and let me tell you the breakdown
prone Amtrak of the day is not all that far from this...
http://mikes.railhistory.railfan.net/imfile/10251.jpg
And
well, we see that all work and no play makes jack a dull boy, what of
recreational creations? Well here today,and certainly will be there
tomorrow and in the future see these...pedal powered roller coasters
here seen in Japan..
http://www.escapistmagazine.com/news/view/123859-Pedal-Powered-Roller-Coaster-Features-at-Bicycle-Theme-Park
and yet another type at...
http://www.treehugger.com/bikes/treehugger-style-roller-coaster-in-japan-its-pedal-powered.html
And
did you know that a British filmmaker and festival director from County
Durham is strengthening ties with the People’s Democratic Republic of
Lao by taking a pedal-powered cinema to the capital, Vientiane, along
with a selection of Wallace and Gromit films for Christmas screenings at
the British Embassy. Yes, they pedal it about to
different areas,
and also, of course, pedal to provide power to drive the cinema show,
not to go in to detail,but your basic flat screen (light) TV and
suitable dvd player powered from a pedal powered generator. Imagine in
the present day solving a problem of the future.
Of course this
could be applied to the home, where one would, as in days of old, have a
child or more, for pedalling these types of things for us and other
such devices for various home needs. Imagine now our pedal powered car,
telling the kid, "Come on lad! Time for a car ride!" T'is what our
children are good for now,to pedal, if not imbecillic ideas, then at
least........that.
So Squirrel is in no ways worried,nor are
others of the day worried, nay not the followers of, and supporters of,
Squirrel, of course.
Indeed in the world of today, now no less,
there are some who live Squirrel's vision of the future, in Asia,
Africa, South and Central America, Mexico, even yet certain pockets of
the United States and the colony of Canada, today, and now,and for that
matter, continuing on in to the future, as we all shall! In short, we
shall be..........Living In An Amish Paradise...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lOfZLb33uCg
Indeed,
solutions Squirrel has! Yes, Squirrel will replace our single biggest
problem, the source of ALL our problems of today and of the future, BIG
OIL, with two,yes two replacements...........BIG BICYCLE and BIG HORSE'S
ASS! Ever onwards, yes, forwards we must go, whilst looking in
hindsight, we progress with our backsides to the future!
Secret Squirrel,
MRL,Monster Raving Loony Party,
MP,Dunny On The Wold,
Minister For Re-Deranged Re-Engineering.
Showing posts with label electricity. Show all posts
Showing posts with label electricity. Show all posts
Tuesday, August 12, 2014
Tuesday, November 20, 2012
Secret Squirrel Says,In The 60's It Was Flower Power, Consider Now....FAT POWER!!
If you have ever been curious about how much power can be generated
while running on a treadmill, you will now easily find out. Power is
defined as the rate at which you burn energy. As long as you know how
much energy you burn in a given amount of time--something most modern
treadmills can estimate for you--you can calculate your average power
output during your workout. The calculation will require a few steps and
unit conversions, but is relatively simple overall.
Firstly set up your treadmill to count the calories you burn during your workout. Usually, you will be asked to enter your age, height and weight to enhance the accuracy of the calorie counter. Consult your treadmill's manual for detailed instructions on how to do this.
Now complete the workout for which you want to calculate your power output. For example, consider a half-hour workout during which you burn 800 calories.
Next convert the calories to joules, the scientific unit of energy that will be required to calculate power in watts. Keep in mind that the capitalized "Calories" displayed on your treadmill--and on the nutrition labels of foods for that matter--are actually kilocalories. There are 4,186 joules in a kilocalorie, so the calculation to convert 800 kilocalories to joules would look like this:
800 kilocalories x 4186 joules / kilocalorie = 3,348,800 joules
Calculate your power output by dividing the energy you burned by the amount of time, in seconds, it took you to burn it. There are 1800 seconds in your half-hour workout, so:3,348,800 joules / 1800 seconds = 1860.4 joules per second = 1860.4 watts.Your average power output during your half-hour workout was 1860.4 watts, or 1860.4 joules per second.
Now Convert watts to horsepower, if you like, by dividing the wattage by 745.8, the number of watts in a horsepower. For example:1860.4 watts / (745.8 watts per horsepower) = 2.5 horsepower
Pretty good isn't that. Imagine if the fatman was converted to farmwork to pull a plow, he would be only really asked to do the work of either a one horse plow, or at worst case sceneario, a two horse team........conceiveably they,the fat people,the obese,the lards or whatever you would,could and do call them, could be employed on farms as a much cheaper alternative to a tractor,Mennonites,The Amish, The Pennsylvania Dutch could be rented these lards to apply them to plowing the fields by a completely acceptable, non mechanical means of plowing.........in exchange for room and board...........and...............food.
But there's more to things than that, on said treadmill each fatman could have their treadmill hooked such as to power an electrical generator and so contribute to the electrical Grid,creating electrical energy,electricity.
A large amount of fatties in a local gym scenario could provide a vast amount of electrical generated energy to contribute to the local power grids a specific workout times.A specific comic strip,Dilbert mentioned something in the scenario of.....
"Scientists will eventually stop flailing around with solar power and focus their efforts on harnessing the only truly unlimited source of energy on the planet: stupidity. I predict that energy companies will place huge hamster wheels outside of convenience stores and offer free lottery tickets to people who spend five minutes running in them. The hamster wheels will be connected to power generators.
- The Dilbert Future "
Well they're somewhat in the ball park as to a working idea, just their idea of using lottery tickets to attract those to turn the hamster wheel treadmills.........rather t'is better to use the fatman, nicht whar.......indeed even yet to legislate that those above a certain BMI must report to local hamsterwheel or treadmill fat generating stations at specific times of the day, the time and time on a
treadmill determined by specific BMI mass being at a certain point above normal levels.Indeed local Health Centers could be employed as such for their treadmiils, everybody else continuing to exercise as normal on other apparatus at their leisure(they are also referred to as leisure centers as so would most definitly be in that regard.),but the local certers would become readily online energy adding
stations to a local power grid, making fat people useful members of society.
I realized there was a great use and need for fat people,in modern society, uses such that they would be employed properly, without actually abusing them, helping them,as it were?Yes, indeed, and this is an idea that occurred to me as I visited the local "fat" farm, the exercise,den of iniquity, at least from the point of view of the fat, which was strangely visited only by the thin,the lean, the slim, who
wished to stay so. Consider now, a power plant with water wheels and the people run in them like hamsters---> benefits= loss of weight and power saving, people dont get mad...pay them to loose weight whilst adding energy to the world.these people them supplying America with free energy. How much energy? A lot of free energy! There are 3,500 calories in 1 pound of bodyweight. An average obese man weighing at a modest 300lbs. will contain 1,050,000 calories. Since there are 14,644 Joules in 3500 calories, a 300lbs person can provide over 4,393,200 Joules(4,393.2 KJ) of pure energy. One kilo-joule per second equates to one kilo-watt. The average U.S. household uses one kilo-watt of energy every second. Therefore, 4,393.2 KJ/60 seconds amounts to over 73.22 minutes of power for the average U.S. household. So that fat guy you see eating a sandwich at work can potentially power your whole house for over an hour.HEALTH and energy chiefs need to consider Squirrel's plan to make fat people power turbines by forcing them to run in giant hamster wheels,turning suitable electrical generators, thus contributing to any particular city's power grid!!
Now in Denmark, ponder this........Danish Hotel Pays Its Guests to Generate Electricity on Exercise Bikes
Just 15 minutes of cycling can produce 10 watt-hours of electricity, and earn you a free meal.Bored guests at a certain Crowne Plaza hotel can now skip the pricey mini-bar and hop on an exercise bike, generate some electricity, and earn some meal vouchers. The hotel in Copenhagen started the free meal idea as a way to boost guests' fitness and shrink their carbon footprint, according to the BBC.
The bikes are hooked up to generators that require guests of average fitness to pedal for about 15 minutes to create 10 watt-hours of electricity. iPhones attached to the handlebars display the amount of power being generated.
Hitting the 15-minute mark earns lucky exercisers a $36 meal voucher, and that's presumably on a repeatable reward system.Now what about making tha manditory for Fatties, yes, indeed, making them work to generate electricity, making them literally pimp themselves, to work for food they actually earn whilst generating energy for elecricty to be added to the naytion's power grid! This can be adapted to the Helath Center Eergy Generating Sections, such that the Fat People so "employed" to generate electricity, will also have to generate electricity to EARN their keep, to pay for their food at mealtime.A capital idea eh whot! Don't feel sorry for them, no...consider the famous words........“Inside some of us is a thin person struggling to get out, but they can usually be sedated with a few pieces of
chocolate cake.”
- Anonymous
Yes, an all round jolly good show! Fat people at work for society! Loosing weight contributing to society!Generating lost of free elecrictity! Whilst helping themsleves and loosing wieght! Yes, and the generating electricity so that they can eat,and KEEP they fat they so desire! Amazingly and interestingly and useful vicious cycle!
Remember the words of Mike Meyers FAT BASTARD.....
"I eat because I'm unhappy, and I'm unhappy because I eat. It's a vicious cycle."
That'll change to
"I generate electrcity because I'm fat, to loose weight, I generate electricity to gain money to eat, to keep me fat.It's a vicious cycle."
But..................society benefits.
Secret Squirrel,
MRL,MP,(Dunny On The Wold),
Minister For Re-Deranged Re-Engineering.
Firstly set up your treadmill to count the calories you burn during your workout. Usually, you will be asked to enter your age, height and weight to enhance the accuracy of the calorie counter. Consult your treadmill's manual for detailed instructions on how to do this.
Now complete the workout for which you want to calculate your power output. For example, consider a half-hour workout during which you burn 800 calories.
Next convert the calories to joules, the scientific unit of energy that will be required to calculate power in watts. Keep in mind that the capitalized "Calories" displayed on your treadmill--and on the nutrition labels of foods for that matter--are actually kilocalories. There are 4,186 joules in a kilocalorie, so the calculation to convert 800 kilocalories to joules would look like this:
800 kilocalories x 4186 joules / kilocalorie = 3,348,800 joules
Calculate your power output by dividing the energy you burned by the amount of time, in seconds, it took you to burn it. There are 1800 seconds in your half-hour workout, so:3,348,800 joules / 1800 seconds = 1860.4 joules per second = 1860.4 watts.Your average power output during your half-hour workout was 1860.4 watts, or 1860.4 joules per second.
Now Convert watts to horsepower, if you like, by dividing the wattage by 745.8, the number of watts in a horsepower. For example:1860.4 watts / (745.8 watts per horsepower) = 2.5 horsepower
Pretty good isn't that. Imagine if the fatman was converted to farmwork to pull a plow, he would be only really asked to do the work of either a one horse plow, or at worst case sceneario, a two horse team........conceiveably they,the fat people,the obese,the lards or whatever you would,could and do call them, could be employed on farms as a much cheaper alternative to a tractor,Mennonites,The Amish, The Pennsylvania Dutch could be rented these lards to apply them to plowing the fields by a completely acceptable, non mechanical means of plowing.........in exchange for room and board...........and...............food.
But there's more to things than that, on said treadmill each fatman could have their treadmill hooked such as to power an electrical generator and so contribute to the electrical Grid,creating electrical energy,electricity.
A large amount of fatties in a local gym scenario could provide a vast amount of electrical generated energy to contribute to the local power grids a specific workout times.A specific comic strip,Dilbert mentioned something in the scenario of.....
"Scientists will eventually stop flailing around with solar power and focus their efforts on harnessing the only truly unlimited source of energy on the planet: stupidity. I predict that energy companies will place huge hamster wheels outside of convenience stores and offer free lottery tickets to people who spend five minutes running in them. The hamster wheels will be connected to power generators.
- The Dilbert Future "
Well they're somewhat in the ball park as to a working idea, just their idea of using lottery tickets to attract those to turn the hamster wheel treadmills.........rather t'is better to use the fatman, nicht whar.......indeed even yet to legislate that those above a certain BMI must report to local hamsterwheel or treadmill fat generating stations at specific times of the day, the time and time on a
treadmill determined by specific BMI mass being at a certain point above normal levels.Indeed local Health Centers could be employed as such for their treadmiils, everybody else continuing to exercise as normal on other apparatus at their leisure(they are also referred to as leisure centers as so would most definitly be in that regard.),but the local certers would become readily online energy adding
stations to a local power grid, making fat people useful members of society.
I realized there was a great use and need for fat people,in modern society, uses such that they would be employed properly, without actually abusing them, helping them,as it were?Yes, indeed, and this is an idea that occurred to me as I visited the local "fat" farm, the exercise,den of iniquity, at least from the point of view of the fat, which was strangely visited only by the thin,the lean, the slim, who
wished to stay so. Consider now, a power plant with water wheels and the people run in them like hamsters---> benefits= loss of weight and power saving, people dont get mad...pay them to loose weight whilst adding energy to the world.these people them supplying America with free energy. How much energy? A lot of free energy! There are 3,500 calories in 1 pound of bodyweight. An average obese man weighing at a modest 300lbs. will contain 1,050,000 calories. Since there are 14,644 Joules in 3500 calories, a 300lbs person can provide over 4,393,200 Joules(4,393.2 KJ) of pure energy. One kilo-joule per second equates to one kilo-watt. The average U.S. household uses one kilo-watt of energy every second. Therefore, 4,393.2 KJ/60 seconds amounts to over 73.22 minutes of power for the average U.S. household. So that fat guy you see eating a sandwich at work can potentially power your whole house for over an hour.HEALTH and energy chiefs need to consider Squirrel's plan to make fat people power turbines by forcing them to run in giant hamster wheels,turning suitable electrical generators, thus contributing to any particular city's power grid!!
Now in Denmark, ponder this........Danish Hotel Pays Its Guests to Generate Electricity on Exercise Bikes
Just 15 minutes of cycling can produce 10 watt-hours of electricity, and earn you a free meal.Bored guests at a certain Crowne Plaza hotel can now skip the pricey mini-bar and hop on an exercise bike, generate some electricity, and earn some meal vouchers. The hotel in Copenhagen started the free meal idea as a way to boost guests' fitness and shrink their carbon footprint, according to the BBC.
The bikes are hooked up to generators that require guests of average fitness to pedal for about 15 minutes to create 10 watt-hours of electricity. iPhones attached to the handlebars display the amount of power being generated.
Hitting the 15-minute mark earns lucky exercisers a $36 meal voucher, and that's presumably on a repeatable reward system.Now what about making tha manditory for Fatties, yes, indeed, making them work to generate electricity, making them literally pimp themselves, to work for food they actually earn whilst generating energy for elecricty to be added to the naytion's power grid! This can be adapted to the Helath Center Eergy Generating Sections, such that the Fat People so "employed" to generate electricity, will also have to generate electricity to EARN their keep, to pay for their food at mealtime.A capital idea eh whot! Don't feel sorry for them, no...consider the famous words........“Inside some of us is a thin person struggling to get out, but they can usually be sedated with a few pieces of
chocolate cake.”
- Anonymous
Yes, an all round jolly good show! Fat people at work for society! Loosing weight contributing to society!Generating lost of free elecrictity! Whilst helping themsleves and loosing wieght! Yes, and the generating electricity so that they can eat,and KEEP they fat they so desire! Amazingly and interestingly and useful vicious cycle!
Remember the words of Mike Meyers FAT BASTARD.....
"I eat because I'm unhappy, and I'm unhappy because I eat. It's a vicious cycle."
That'll change to
"I generate electrcity because I'm fat, to loose weight, I generate electricity to gain money to eat, to keep me fat.It's a vicious cycle."
But..................society benefits.
Secret Squirrel,
MRL,MP,(Dunny On The Wold),
Minister For Re-Deranged Re-Engineering.
Sunday, April 3, 2011
Secret Squirrel Ponders A Study Which Claims Nuclear Energy Is The Safest Way To Generate Electricity.
Secret Squirrel has noticed that there is a study which claims that nuclear energy is the safest way to generate electricity............balderdash,falderall, friends of theirs, those and the mentally disturbed, the insane,as a matter of fact I use those who support nuclear as my measure of insanity,anyone else can at the most be a little bit fruity with regards to anything and everything else.
In Japan, there is radioactivity in the soil, the food is contaminated,you cannot eat the spinach, nor broccoli, nor anything else in that LARGE region, you cannot drink the water, you cannot eat the beef,the cows are contaminated and everything else in terms of edible farm animals,ground water is contaminated, miles away.There is radioactivity in the seawater at massive levels, contaminating the fish and rendering them unconsumable.The radiation cloud has been detected, in Canada,in the USA, in Scotland, Britain,Ireland, and again in Sweden which first detected what turned out to be Chernobyl.
Speaking of Chernobyl, the Japanese plant explosions,fires,radiation leaks, is yet many times less.So what is it all from? A meltdown? No they claim it's only a partial meltdown on one reactor.....hooray, thankfully it wasn't a full meltdown..of even one, yes it WOULD be worse, as logic dictates, then there's explosion, which they said didn't occur, but it can and may, it did at Chernobyl, and that is even yet worse,as has been proven, and as logic dictates.What have they said?It's many times less than Chernobyl.
What was Chernobyl?Well,it was the worst nuclear accident to date was the Chernobyl disaster which occurred in 1986 in Ukraine. That accident killed 56 people directly, and caused an estimated 4,000 additional cases of fatal cancer, as well as damaging approximately $7 billion of property. Radioactive fallout from the accident was concentrated in areas of Belarus, Ukraine and Russia. Approximately 350,000 people were forcibly resettled away from these areas soon after the incident. Recent estimations say that between 400,000 and 500,000 inhabitants (when including unborn children) near Kiev province had been exposed to a comparatively high dose of radiation, and there's a possibility of developing cancer, leukemia and DNA malformation in the next 10 to 40 years........What did and do they say?Chernobyl cannot happen again.............what will they say in Japan? It a
Fukushima cannot happen again?
There HAVE been other major and massive events......
October 1957
Fire destroyed the core of a plutonium-producing reactor at Britain's Windscale nuclear complex - since renamed Sellafield -
sending clouds of radioactivity into the atmosphere. An official report said the leaked radiation could have caused dozens of
cancer deaths in the vicinity of Liverpool.
Winter 1957-'58
A serious accident occurred during the winter of 1957-58 near the town of Kyshtym in the Urals. A Russian scientist who first
reported the disaster estimated that hundreds died from radiation sickness.
October 5, 1966
The core of an experimental reactor near Detroit, Mich., melted partially when a sodium cooling system failed.
March 28, 1979
Near Harrisburg, Pennsylvania, America's worst nuclear accident occurred. A partial meltdown of one of the reactors forced the evacuation of the residents after radioactive gas escaped into the atmosphere.
You can compare, the events are beyond compare......and the effects, and effects on the public..........hidden.And there is a study which says nuclear energy is the safest way to generate electricity.But it is the government who dictates,it is the government who dictates the nuclear plants,and it is the government who did
dictate the nuclear plants, and who claim they aren't responsible for the failures and accidents concerning nuclear plants,the explosions, the fires, the releases of radiations.well they aren't responsible,they can't possibly be,they claim it is the
electorate who are responsible,regardless of their decisions, we have yet to have responsible governments, only governments of idiocy,stupidity,cretinism, imbecillity,ignorance et all.And the study,claims that nuclear energy is the safest way to generate electricity. Numerous cities within a 20km radius, had to be evacuated, due to the presence of radiation and hazards which proved to be true. Chernobyl was even yet worse. Who can calculate now the dead and dying from the effects of radiation from these areas,those who will suffer cancerous growths, and deaths, and their children horrific mutations..........and the study says that nuclear energy is the safest way to generate electricity.Well, coal and oil and gas fired thermal plants don't cause all this to happen when something happens internally to them, nor does it happen to geothermal, nor to hydroelectric energy
generation, nor to stored storage types of electrical generation system,and wind power.The study claims that nuclear energy is the safest way to generate electricity.Chernobyl,Pripyat, still empty and abandoned,radiation rained down on it, and it is still in the soil.......the area bout Fukushima...evacuated, radiation rained down on it, and it is still in the soil.The cost of nuclear energy is quite high,extremely high, far too high.Who's paying for the evacuated people,who's going to pay for the farmers and their lost livelihood,the crops and animals, the fishermen and their lost livelihood, the closed and abandoned businesses,who's going to pay for the health lost to those affected by the radiation,who's going to pay for their mutated children,who's going to pay for what can't ever be replaced, who's going to pay for human life?
In Canada,Toronto,the largest population city in that nation, is 17 miles from the Pickering Reactor group.Where will the Canadian government evacuate them to.Will it evacuate them anywhere?Will it simply tell them get out of town? More than likely just the latter, there will be NO help from them, from their governments,they will tell them that when they voted for them, they voted for nuclear, and they will tell them that as THEY are forced to evacuate wherever they can and may.The people will be left to fend for themselves.....the people of Toronto.The massive numbers of people in hospitals will be left.Canada has not the capability to evacuate a city the size of Toronto,not even yet those in hospitals,old peoples homes etc., and so too it is for the rest of you near nuclear plants.You will be on your own and
told to leave,as they did in Japan.....all they will tell you is.......that's all folks.The politicians will be taken care of,unquestionably.But not you.
And the study claims that nuclear energy is the safest way to generate electricity.
In Japan, there is radioactivity in the soil, the food is contaminated,you cannot eat the spinach, nor broccoli, nor anything else in that LARGE region, you cannot drink the water, you cannot eat the beef,the cows are contaminated and everything else in terms of edible farm animals,ground water is contaminated, miles away.There is radioactivity in the seawater at massive levels, contaminating the fish and rendering them unconsumable.The radiation cloud has been detected, in Canada,in the USA, in Scotland, Britain,Ireland, and again in Sweden which first detected what turned out to be Chernobyl.
Speaking of Chernobyl, the Japanese plant explosions,fires,radiation leaks, is yet many times less.So what is it all from? A meltdown? No they claim it's only a partial meltdown on one reactor.....hooray, thankfully it wasn't a full meltdown..of even one, yes it WOULD be worse, as logic dictates, then there's explosion, which they said didn't occur, but it can and may, it did at Chernobyl, and that is even yet worse,as has been proven, and as logic dictates.What have they said?It's many times less than Chernobyl.
What was Chernobyl?Well,it was the worst nuclear accident to date was the Chernobyl disaster which occurred in 1986 in Ukraine. That accident killed 56 people directly, and caused an estimated 4,000 additional cases of fatal cancer, as well as damaging approximately $7 billion of property. Radioactive fallout from the accident was concentrated in areas of Belarus, Ukraine and Russia. Approximately 350,000 people were forcibly resettled away from these areas soon after the incident. Recent estimations say that between 400,000 and 500,000 inhabitants (when including unborn children) near Kiev province had been exposed to a comparatively high dose of radiation, and there's a possibility of developing cancer, leukemia and DNA malformation in the next 10 to 40 years........What did and do they say?Chernobyl cannot happen again.............what will they say in Japan? It a
Fukushima cannot happen again?
There HAVE been other major and massive events......
October 1957
Fire destroyed the core of a plutonium-producing reactor at Britain's Windscale nuclear complex - since renamed Sellafield -
sending clouds of radioactivity into the atmosphere. An official report said the leaked radiation could have caused dozens of
cancer deaths in the vicinity of Liverpool.
Winter 1957-'58
A serious accident occurred during the winter of 1957-58 near the town of Kyshtym in the Urals. A Russian scientist who first
reported the disaster estimated that hundreds died from radiation sickness.
October 5, 1966
The core of an experimental reactor near Detroit, Mich., melted partially when a sodium cooling system failed.
March 28, 1979
Near Harrisburg, Pennsylvania, America's worst nuclear accident occurred. A partial meltdown of one of the reactors forced the evacuation of the residents after radioactive gas escaped into the atmosphere.
You can compare, the events are beyond compare......and the effects, and effects on the public..........hidden.And there is a study which says nuclear energy is the safest way to generate electricity.But it is the government who dictates,it is the government who dictates the nuclear plants,and it is the government who did
dictate the nuclear plants, and who claim they aren't responsible for the failures and accidents concerning nuclear plants,the explosions, the fires, the releases of radiations.well they aren't responsible,they can't possibly be,they claim it is the
electorate who are responsible,regardless of their decisions, we have yet to have responsible governments, only governments of idiocy,stupidity,cretinism, imbecillity,ignorance et all.And the study,claims that nuclear energy is the safest way to generate electricity. Numerous cities within a 20km radius, had to be evacuated, due to the presence of radiation and hazards which proved to be true. Chernobyl was even yet worse. Who can calculate now the dead and dying from the effects of radiation from these areas,those who will suffer cancerous growths, and deaths, and their children horrific mutations..........and the study says that nuclear energy is the safest way to generate electricity.Well, coal and oil and gas fired thermal plants don't cause all this to happen when something happens internally to them, nor does it happen to geothermal, nor to hydroelectric energy
generation, nor to stored storage types of electrical generation system,and wind power.The study claims that nuclear energy is the safest way to generate electricity.Chernobyl,Pripyat, still empty and abandoned,radiation rained down on it, and it is still in the soil.......the area bout Fukushima...evacuated, radiation rained down on it, and it is still in the soil.The cost of nuclear energy is quite high,extremely high, far too high.Who's paying for the evacuated people,who's going to pay for the farmers and their lost livelihood,the crops and animals, the fishermen and their lost livelihood, the closed and abandoned businesses,who's going to pay for the health lost to those affected by the radiation,who's going to pay for their mutated children,who's going to pay for what can't ever be replaced, who's going to pay for human life?
In Canada,Toronto,the largest population city in that nation, is 17 miles from the Pickering Reactor group.Where will the Canadian government evacuate them to.Will it evacuate them anywhere?Will it simply tell them get out of town? More than likely just the latter, there will be NO help from them, from their governments,they will tell them that when they voted for them, they voted for nuclear, and they will tell them that as THEY are forced to evacuate wherever they can and may.The people will be left to fend for themselves.....the people of Toronto.The massive numbers of people in hospitals will be left.Canada has not the capability to evacuate a city the size of Toronto,not even yet those in hospitals,old peoples homes etc., and so too it is for the rest of you near nuclear plants.You will be on your own and
told to leave,as they did in Japan.....all they will tell you is.......that's all folks.The politicians will be taken care of,unquestionably.But not you.
And the study claims that nuclear energy is the safest way to generate electricity.
Saturday, February 27, 2010
Secret Squirrel's Miraculous Doings....Continue.
Keywords:
global,warming,cows,gas,rich,ice,floods,chunnel,electricity,eels,electricity,marlon,brando,ozone,cars,secret squirrel,propulsion
The MRL Global Warming Cow Gas Emission Collection Plan.
Secret Squirrel global warming is a global problem which we must now turn our attention to.Meet the world's top destroyer of the environment. It is not the car, or the plane,or even George Bush,: it is the cow.
A United Nations report has identified the world's rapidly growing herds of cattle as the greatest threat to the climate, forests and wildlife. And they are blamed for a host of other environmental crimes, from acid rain to the introduction of alien species, from producing deserts to creating dead zones in the oceans, from poisoning rivers and drinking water to destroying coral reefs, and also..............global warming.Cows and bulls can produce 500 litres of methane a day.
Here I stand, out in a field in Devonshire,as she stares at me she is constantly chewing... and burping .........and.............farting.One dairy cow gives off enough methane gas in a single day to fill around 400 empty litre bottles of pop, which is really bad for the environment. It turns out that livestock – predominantly cattle – are responsible for an astonishing proportion of global warming gases - 18 percent of the total, to be precise.Indeed these fart gases rise in the atmos and hence are proveably responsible for the ever increasing great hole in the ozone layer.
A single cow could be producing as much as 500 litres of methane per day.
There are more than two million more like her across the UK.
They are the UK's biggest single source of methane - a gas 23 times more potent than carbon dioxide when it comes to global warming.
In fact cattle are responsible for about 3 per cent of all Britain's greenhouse gases. Reduce that and experts say you not only make farming greener and more efficient, it could help Britain achieve its commitments under the Kyoto agreement.But who are the major moral culprits in the events of cows and global warming.......
What countries have the most cattle?Here they are in order of the top ten.
1 India
2 Brazil
3 China
4 US
5 Argentina
6 Sudan
7 Ethiopia
8 Mexico
9 Russian Federation
10 Colombia
Indeed none of these nations can say,."Haven't got a cow man!",as it is time to lay the blame. No indeed, they have cows, and lots of'em, and are the major cause of the problems affecting the world,the problems of global warming. But enough of the cause of global warming, are there then solutions to the problem....................well................
Argentine scientists are studying the effects of global warming by strapping plastic tanks to the backs of cows to collect their gas.
Researchers say the slow digestive system of cows makes them a producer of methane, a powerful greenhouse gas that gets far less attention than carbon dioxide as a potential cause of global warming.
So to collect it a plastic tank is fitted to the cow's back and connected through a tube to the animal's stomach.
Aha! Wisdom prevails, but not in the Argentinians.indeed they are studying the problem, collecting gases to study the problem. Little do they realize that that is the actual solution to the problem...the have absolutely no hindsight in the foresight of their studies...indeed fitting each and every cow with such a gas collector, collecting both belches, and farts..............would save humanity!!!
Oh the humanity of it! Fields of cows,cows running about India,etc etc etc, fitted with these gas bag collecting tanks.Not to study but to actually collect,to gather, to bottle. Said tanks could thence be emptied, trucks coming about on a daily basis to collect the methane gas, and then that gas being bottled and condensed, and hence use in place of such gases as propane, an offspring of.......oil. Indeed this collected gas could be storage tanked and thence used as cooking gas for homes, heating gas for homes,homes could be lit by it!!
Indeed the mind boggles, said gas could also have applications in being burned to provide gas fuels for motor cars,lorries and buses. Indeed once more we in the MRL have excelled, identified the problem, and applied a technologically engineered cure for the betterment of humanity whilst at the same time ending the most massive contributer to the global warming crisis.The world is saved!! By the MRL!!
Secret Squirrel,
MRL,
Minister For Re-Deranged Re-Engineering.
-------------------------
How The M.R.L. Will Make EACH U.K. Citizen Rich For Life
Secret Squirrel knows how to make you rich!
(Now, I was pondering the huge payout figures for General Motors, which the British government HAS available to it..........I then pondered the population figures for the UK....got out the calculator..............and................well...................do read on..................what's more important, General Motors, or the UK Citizens and YOU? I fully realize that Labour ponders things differently, but here are MY MRL views on what should be done with the available 500million pounds................)
GM told insolvency 'better for Opel than bail-out' - Telegraph
7 Mar 2009 ... GM told insolvency 'better for Opel than bail-out' ... GM is believed to want Britain to contribute around £500m to the European rescue .......................
.so the headlines read............but think now, let's analyze this.......
Well now................dire straits for General Motors? Dire straits for Britain with the loss of the foreign US General Motors jobs.....but face it, here this means that Britain with it's population of 61 million, could afford 500m pounds....................now Britain also spends billion elsewhere...but why waste it on General Motors........
It is the sudden realization of the magnitude of this payout.....it is the magnitude of the figure here mentioned to give to a foreign firm for employing a FEW people,in and by comparison with the sum total of the population of the U.K.........but how many people, Britain has a population (United Kingdom), of 61 million...................
It suddenly occurred to me that the UK Government CAN easily afford 500m pounds...........BUT why then does the Labour government, then simply allow General Motors with it's ridiculously low job figures, compared with 61 million UK citizens,to BE GIVEN that princely and handsome sum.................why not then divide the 500m pounds by the 61m population of the United Kingdom, and then......since it is obviously affordable.....pay EACH UNITED KINGDOM CITIZEN 8.1Million Pounds? Think about it, nobody need work, everybody'd be rich, IT IS AFFORDABLE, the Government has it, the government wishes to spend it, why spend it on a foreign firm such as General Motors, Yes! Simply give each U.k. citizen 8.1million pounds instead, and so the 500m pounds could be said to have been wisely spent.
Secret Squirrel,(Frank John Hermann)
M.R.L.
Minister For Re-Deranged Re-Engineering.
----------------------------------------
MRL Proposal To Sell Ice To The Canadians.
Secret Squirrel can turn a profit from selling cheap ice to the Canadians!
What once used to be a joking phrase defining a certain kind of salesman may turn out to be prophetic, in my estimation when I achieved a monumentally profitable plot to sell ice to the Canadians, and so provide we in Britain with our fish and chips.
With the dwindling ice pack in the Arctic Ocean, the lives of Canadian Eskimos and polar bears are threatened by global warming.The Canadian government knows what they need.
What the Canadian Arctic needs is ice.But can they afford the real thing? Quite plainly it's
much too costly to set up ice making apparatus in the vicious environment of the Canadian
Northlands..........so if we are to turn a profit off of the Canadians and finally make the
colony pay, we must sell them an alternative which is much cheaper for us to manufacture.
I propose we form a company and start making artificial ice floes to place in the Arctic Ocean to give the polar bears platforms to hunt seals from.
We can make 4 foot thick Styrofoam sheets that look and function like real ice floes,which is much yet cheaper to a pondered proposal, that of using cheaper, but much more expensive than styrofoam, Brazilian wood(which would also save the rain forest and contribute to our reduction of Britain's environmental carbon footprint.)
So the Canadian Eskimoes are threatened because there are fewer polar bears, so we provide at a handsome profit the artificial ice flows such that the polar bears can sit on them, be threatened and hunted by the eskimoes who want to do that and require the polar bears for their sustainance, and the polar bears can threaten and hunt the seals, which the polar bears require for their sustainance, and so the reduced numbers of seals such that they do not consume the cod fish we require for our sustinance in Britain.
So we go in to mass production and sales to the Canadians of the artificial ice floes so we can save the polar bears,save the poor Canadian eskimoes, reduce the seal population and so save the cod fish we require for our fish and chips , all to the great applause of the world.
Secret Squirrel,
M.R.L.,
Minister For Re-Deranged Re-Engineering.
----------------------------
Emergency MRL Flood Floatation Equipment
Secret Squirrel knows floods occur,recur, the local populace is always imperiled. No matter what, incumbent governments ignore the
problems, stating the waters will subside if one simply waits, and also that flooding won't occur again,such as occurred in the middle of England ......it does, point in fact ,but in the meanwhile the local populace,which is the people of England, suffer,worry, drown etc etc etc.
Indeed they suffered yet again,as well,in the city of New Orleans in the former colony of the Americas...........indeed 7inches of a rain storm, and the populace was once again waist deep in water. While the occurrence was suppressed in the Americas press, I made note of the fact and set my engineering skills to work. What needs be done? To assist the populace to float through such events,to enable them to empower them, to be able to weather a flood whenever it suddenly occurs,whether government acknowledges the flood occurring or not! Indeed how to deal with such a sudden event,how to be ever ready for such an event? Well, the best course of action is to wear devices such that the populace could ever be ready. Now wearing bulky life vests is on the ridiculous side, so we must turn our engineering expertness to the actual design of clothes themselves. Now, we usually have two forms of weather, mostly hot or extremely regularly warm, and a touch on the cooler side.
Well now I have discovered, existent a ready made solution for the female population, the bikini, the bikini with suitable inflatable water wing breasts! Indeed, this would benefit in terms of style as the female could have a larger set of bristols,zoomers or whatever they are referred to, and at the same time,in the event of a flood could maximally inflate such that they become life saving ,buoyant water wings...as is show in the accompanying picture.
For the cooler days, a dress could be worn, an inflatable dress,but not only inflatable, one that inflates into a full size kayak boat dress and so save the wearing much discomfort and worry during flood situations...again see the accompanying picture of the kayak dress as it could be used.Indeed we in the MRL would see to it, that every female in Britain would be provided,gratis, as in free, as in at no cost to them, one of each of these items. Of course, they might like to purchase more for their wardrobe but that extra cost would have to be born by them. As for males, a suitable pair of blowup kayak pants could be developed for their supply and use.
Indeed as ever, hands reaching out across the water to our misfortunate colonials in The Americas, particularly New Orleans,we could also sent up not lend lease as they provided during our war ,but rather borrow rental during this period of their meteorological war.
See accompanying images of these fascinating,useful and necessary flood clothing items.
Secret Squirrel,
MRL
Minister for Re-Deranged Re-Engineering.
--------------------------------------
The M.R.L.Solving Britain's Flood Water Problems
Well now, what with the recent floodings, and re-floodings occurring now virtually and in reality every year, something should be done about it. But of course the incumbent government has been laggardly in dealing with the recurring situations. There is a solution to the problem, a sound engineering solution, based on sound hydrological engineering principles, the very sound principles set down by the Romans. It all works and will work, on the basis of the Roman knowledge of hydrology, namely that water follows the rule of law written in hydrology that water must flow downhill, unless it is arrested by a rise in the land. Now Britain is up at the top of the world, and extends downwards, quite rightly, and properly with France and the French beneath us.
What needs be done, is quite simply, starting at the top, we construct,in the earth of course, a long line drainage canal extending downwards, towards and collecting at Dover. Why collecting, well there will be several branch lines joining the main artery canal,all part of a drainage canal system
Now the Collector, as it is called, where the water will be disposed of, is quite properly the Chunnel, to which the storm water will the be directed in to, continuing on, ever following the legalities of the Laws Of Hydrology, flowing downwards, and emerging in France, where it will be a French problem for them to deal with.
You recall a previous engineering plan of allowing the sewage of Great Britain to be collected and directed in to the Chunnel? Well, there will be no problem there as the Chunnel can accommodate both the sewage flows and the storm water flows,as some area cities already do have and share a common sewage/sanitation/storm drain system, so too can that principle be applied here, rather than separate, saving the costs of building another Chunnel...........a Pence saved is a Pound earned, until the government takes your pence.
Ever onwards, the M.R.L. solves problems through sound engineering principles.No problem there.
Secret Squirrel,
M.R.L.,
Minister for Re-Deranged Re-Engineering.
------------------------------------------------------------------
From the private files of......................
Secret Squirrel
The Rebel Had A Cause.
Secret Squirrel has found,hidden amongst the private papers of Marlon Brando the most brilliant plan to make each and every house in Britain independent of the electrics works companies. Brando envisaged a plan to string electric eels
round and about the swimming pool and then run cables to the house to electrically power the edifice.
Indeed a bold and innovative plan. All that remains is for the M.R.L. to take up his engineering genius
and free the British people from slavery to the electric works.Marlon Brando with his scheme to provide free and readily available eel-ectricity to the people,the people who make up humanity! Oh the humanity of Brando! Genius extraordinare.
Secret Squirrel
(M.R.L.)
Minister for Re-Deranged Re-Engineering
And just look at this, years after Brando's misfortunate departure from this world......
Japan eel wishes you an electric Christmas
TOKYO (Reuters) - Not even a blackout could put a damper on festivities at one Japanese aquarium where an electric eel is being used to light up its Christmas tree.
Two aluminum panels inside the eel's tank work as electrodes to catch its power. Cables attached to the panels supply the lights on the nearby tree with electricity.
Inventor Kazuhiko Minawa said it took him more than a month to devise a system that would effectively harness eel power.
"If we could gather all electric eels from all around the world, we would be able to light up an unimaginably giant Christmas tree," Minawa told Reuters Television.
Eels are widely eaten in Japan, especially in the summer, when their vitamin-rich flesh is seen as a way to regain stamina sapped by the heat.
The tree, which will stay illuminated until December 25, is proving a popular attraction, drawing tourists from all over the country. "I would love to have an eel like this at home. This is very nature-friendly," said visitor Harumi Yayoi.
(Reporting by Reuters Television; editing by Miral Fahmy)
(One other article mentions a copper electrode............)
http://www.reuters.com/article/lifestyleMolt/idUSSP27985020071213
Brando,yes, innovator of eel-ectricity...indeed yes. I recognized his genius years back when he suggested it, and I immediately put it forward to the MRL, as his project for the betterment of the people, indeed yes! And see too how today his project move forwards in to true realization......Brando.................and engineering genius, a pioneer in the field of energy generation, a pioneer in the field of electricity, of the generation,the safe generation, of green electricity,pretty much free eel-ectricity, but then life always throws you a PETA, they'll be marching now claiming cruelty to eels, cruelty for imprisoning eels..................................always the down side.
----------------------------------------------------------------
M.R.L.'s Cow Methane Driven Cars
Secret Squirrel says how now Brown's cow...............what have we here? I have discovered an excellent system of highly efficient automobile fuel, and it's free......indeed have you got a cow man? Well? No? Haven't got a cow? Well....get one..........for your own backyard, and have free automobile fuel for the rest of your life!! Imagine, yes indeed the system is engineering genius,mine of course, and already proveable in operation, indeed provable and efficient as in the example of already on the road propane powered taxis,cars,buses,lorries(trucks).
Cows can produce 500 litres of methane every day...as opposed to your average cowboys who produces 1/2 to 3 litres per day..........(the latter being studies of Mexican cowboys on a bean diet).
So, gasoline cost $0.94cents per litre..........propane $0.42cents per litre....cow methane per litre cost.......zero. The cow can be kept in the backyard and allowed to graze, saving cost and effort of cutting the grass as well.......increasing the savings...........the cow also provides milk.........an added plus.......
Now a per trip values estimate, on gasoline a 600km trip,at 60 litres of gas per trip, on propane the same trip consumes 80 litres, but of much cheaper cost,nearly half, but with propane this drops to zero. As to distance, well the 600 km figure for the day is highly acceptable as a base rate.............even for say taxis. Now taxis,many, are already equipped with propane tanks.
All that remains is to substitute the cow collection methane plastic tank.............easily swapped in with a fresh tank as the cow produces it...imagine, researchers from Argentina were surprised to find that a single 550-kg cow produces between 800 to 1,000 liters of emissions each day............more than enough for the day, and any excess production could be utilized for home cooking and heating uses,the barbie so plastic tanked as well. Indeed, these methane filled tanks can be used anywhere propane is presently utilized! Even yet trains could become methane cow powered. Imagine, The Iron Horse, becoming know as The Iron Cow!!The method of collection? Well the Argentines have been conducting experiments with cows to collect the methane they produce.
Little do they realize that that tank full of methane, could easily be substituted in vehicles for their already installed propane tanks(these tanks are housed in the boot(trunk), of the vehicles should they be of the passenger type, and other places for non passenger types,such as roofs for buses).! Well I can see you're thinking, how ridiculous it would be to drive about with a cow in the backseat producing methane for the car.......however,we don't need the entire cow, just the tank of methane it fills up, and indeed whilst driving on that tank, the cow could be in the backyard busily filling up yet another tank ready as needed! A truly efficient self-sustaining vehicular fuel energy system!Indeed, we are free! Free from fuel costs! Free to drive about as well please! free! Free! Free! And..the fuel supply is free as well!!
Well for a sureity the oil companies have gotten on to this, indeed at this very moment both pills,injections, and feed additives are being developed to stop cows from producing these massive free amounts of methane. The plot's afoot, I can sense Government and Big Business seeking to send my free fuel engineering system to ruination of the people.
But fear not, get a cow man! And get a methane collection tank! Convert your vehicle to propane driven, but wisely substitute a plastic methane tank swap system!!!!Free yourself!Get a cow,man!
Secret Squirrel,
M.R.L.,
Minister For Re-Deranged Re-Engineering.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Rules For Dealing With The Ozone Problem
I,Secret Squirrel solve this,and any other political problem that confuses and either won't go away or is difficult to explain away as a non problem..................
Launch a public relations campaign disputing the evidence.
Predict dire economic consequences, and ignore the cost benefits.
Find and pay a respected scientist to argue persuasively against the threat.
Use non-peer reviewed scientific publications or industry-funded scientists who don't publish original peer-reviewed scientific work to support your point of view.
Trumpet discredited scientific studies and myths supporting your point of view as scientific fact.
Point to the substantial scientific uncertainty, and the certainty of economic loss if immediate action is taken.
Use data from a local area to support your views, and ignore the global evidence.
Disparage scientists, saying they are playing up uncertain predictions of doom in order to get research funding.
Complain that it is unfair to require regulatory action in Britain, as it would put the nation at an economic disadvantage.
Claim that more research is needed before action should be taken.
Argue that it is less expensive to live with the effects.
Secret Squirrel.
MRL,
Minister For Re-Deranged Re-Engineering
-------------------------------------------------------------
global,warming,cows,gas,rich,ice,floods,chunnel,electricity,eels,electricity,marlon,brando,ozone,cars,secret squirrel,propulsion
The MRL Global Warming Cow Gas Emission Collection Plan.
Secret Squirrel global warming is a global problem which we must now turn our attention to.Meet the world's top destroyer of the environment. It is not the car, or the plane,or even George Bush,: it is the cow.
A United Nations report has identified the world's rapidly growing herds of cattle as the greatest threat to the climate, forests and wildlife. And they are blamed for a host of other environmental crimes, from acid rain to the introduction of alien species, from producing deserts to creating dead zones in the oceans, from poisoning rivers and drinking water to destroying coral reefs, and also..............global warming.Cows and bulls can produce 500 litres of methane a day.
Here I stand, out in a field in Devonshire,as she stares at me she is constantly chewing... and burping .........and.............farting.One dairy cow gives off enough methane gas in a single day to fill around 400 empty litre bottles of pop, which is really bad for the environment. It turns out that livestock – predominantly cattle – are responsible for an astonishing proportion of global warming gases - 18 percent of the total, to be precise.Indeed these fart gases rise in the atmos and hence are proveably responsible for the ever increasing great hole in the ozone layer.
A single cow could be producing as much as 500 litres of methane per day.
There are more than two million more like her across the UK.
They are the UK's biggest single source of methane - a gas 23 times more potent than carbon dioxide when it comes to global warming.
In fact cattle are responsible for about 3 per cent of all Britain's greenhouse gases. Reduce that and experts say you not only make farming greener and more efficient, it could help Britain achieve its commitments under the Kyoto agreement.But who are the major moral culprits in the events of cows and global warming.......
What countries have the most cattle?Here they are in order of the top ten.
1 India
2 Brazil
3 China
4 US
5 Argentina
6 Sudan
7 Ethiopia
8 Mexico
9 Russian Federation
10 Colombia
Indeed none of these nations can say,."Haven't got a cow man!",as it is time to lay the blame. No indeed, they have cows, and lots of'em, and are the major cause of the problems affecting the world,the problems of global warming. But enough of the cause of global warming, are there then solutions to the problem....................well................
Argentine scientists are studying the effects of global warming by strapping plastic tanks to the backs of cows to collect their gas.
Researchers say the slow digestive system of cows makes them a producer of methane, a powerful greenhouse gas that gets far less attention than carbon dioxide as a potential cause of global warming.
So to collect it a plastic tank is fitted to the cow's back and connected through a tube to the animal's stomach.
Aha! Wisdom prevails, but not in the Argentinians.indeed they are studying the problem, collecting gases to study the problem. Little do they realize that that is the actual solution to the problem...the have absolutely no hindsight in the foresight of their studies...indeed fitting each and every cow with such a gas collector, collecting both belches, and farts..............would save humanity!!!
Oh the humanity of it! Fields of cows,cows running about India,etc etc etc, fitted with these gas bag collecting tanks.Not to study but to actually collect,to gather, to bottle. Said tanks could thence be emptied, trucks coming about on a daily basis to collect the methane gas, and then that gas being bottled and condensed, and hence use in place of such gases as propane, an offspring of.......oil. Indeed this collected gas could be storage tanked and thence used as cooking gas for homes, heating gas for homes,homes could be lit by it!!
Indeed the mind boggles, said gas could also have applications in being burned to provide gas fuels for motor cars,lorries and buses. Indeed once more we in the MRL have excelled, identified the problem, and applied a technologically engineered cure for the betterment of humanity whilst at the same time ending the most massive contributer to the global warming crisis.The world is saved!! By the MRL!!
Secret Squirrel,
MRL,
Minister For Re-Deranged Re-Engineering.
-------------------------
How The M.R.L. Will Make EACH U.K. Citizen Rich For Life
Secret Squirrel knows how to make you rich!
(Now, I was pondering the huge payout figures for General Motors, which the British government HAS available to it..........I then pondered the population figures for the UK....got out the calculator..............and................well...................do read on..................what's more important, General Motors, or the UK Citizens and YOU? I fully realize that Labour ponders things differently, but here are MY MRL views on what should be done with the available 500million pounds................)
GM told insolvency 'better for Opel than bail-out' - Telegraph
7 Mar 2009 ... GM told insolvency 'better for Opel than bail-out' ... GM is believed to want Britain to contribute around £500m to the European rescue .......................
.so the headlines read............but think now, let's analyze this.......
Well now................dire straits for General Motors? Dire straits for Britain with the loss of the foreign US General Motors jobs.....but face it, here this means that Britain with it's population of 61 million, could afford 500m pounds....................now Britain also spends billion elsewhere...but why waste it on General Motors........
It is the sudden realization of the magnitude of this payout.....it is the magnitude of the figure here mentioned to give to a foreign firm for employing a FEW people,in and by comparison with the sum total of the population of the U.K.........but how many people, Britain has a population (United Kingdom), of 61 million...................
It suddenly occurred to me that the UK Government CAN easily afford 500m pounds...........BUT why then does the Labour government, then simply allow General Motors with it's ridiculously low job figures, compared with 61 million UK citizens,to BE GIVEN that princely and handsome sum.................why not then divide the 500m pounds by the 61m population of the United Kingdom, and then......since it is obviously affordable.....pay EACH UNITED KINGDOM CITIZEN 8.1Million Pounds? Think about it, nobody need work, everybody'd be rich, IT IS AFFORDABLE, the Government has it, the government wishes to spend it, why spend it on a foreign firm such as General Motors, Yes! Simply give each U.k. citizen 8.1million pounds instead, and so the 500m pounds could be said to have been wisely spent.
Secret Squirrel,(Frank John Hermann)
M.R.L.
Minister For Re-Deranged Re-Engineering.
----------------------------------------
MRL Proposal To Sell Ice To The Canadians.
Secret Squirrel can turn a profit from selling cheap ice to the Canadians!
What once used to be a joking phrase defining a certain kind of salesman may turn out to be prophetic, in my estimation when I achieved a monumentally profitable plot to sell ice to the Canadians, and so provide we in Britain with our fish and chips.
With the dwindling ice pack in the Arctic Ocean, the lives of Canadian Eskimos and polar bears are threatened by global warming.The Canadian government knows what they need.
What the Canadian Arctic needs is ice.But can they afford the real thing? Quite plainly it's
much too costly to set up ice making apparatus in the vicious environment of the Canadian
Northlands..........so if we are to turn a profit off of the Canadians and finally make the
colony pay, we must sell them an alternative which is much cheaper for us to manufacture.
I propose we form a company and start making artificial ice floes to place in the Arctic Ocean to give the polar bears platforms to hunt seals from.
We can make 4 foot thick Styrofoam sheets that look and function like real ice floes,which is much yet cheaper to a pondered proposal, that of using cheaper, but much more expensive than styrofoam, Brazilian wood(which would also save the rain forest and contribute to our reduction of Britain's environmental carbon footprint.)
So the Canadian Eskimoes are threatened because there are fewer polar bears, so we provide at a handsome profit the artificial ice flows such that the polar bears can sit on them, be threatened and hunted by the eskimoes who want to do that and require the polar bears for their sustainance, and the polar bears can threaten and hunt the seals, which the polar bears require for their sustainance, and so the reduced numbers of seals such that they do not consume the cod fish we require for our sustinance in Britain.
So we go in to mass production and sales to the Canadians of the artificial ice floes so we can save the polar bears,save the poor Canadian eskimoes, reduce the seal population and so save the cod fish we require for our fish and chips , all to the great applause of the world.
Secret Squirrel,
M.R.L.,
Minister For Re-Deranged Re-Engineering.
----------------------------
Emergency MRL Flood Floatation Equipment
Secret Squirrel knows floods occur,recur, the local populace is always imperiled. No matter what, incumbent governments ignore the
problems, stating the waters will subside if one simply waits, and also that flooding won't occur again,such as occurred in the middle of England ......it does, point in fact ,but in the meanwhile the local populace,which is the people of England, suffer,worry, drown etc etc etc.
Indeed they suffered yet again,as well,in the city of New Orleans in the former colony of the Americas...........indeed 7inches of a rain storm, and the populace was once again waist deep in water. While the occurrence was suppressed in the Americas press, I made note of the fact and set my engineering skills to work. What needs be done? To assist the populace to float through such events,to enable them to empower them, to be able to weather a flood whenever it suddenly occurs,whether government acknowledges the flood occurring or not! Indeed how to deal with such a sudden event,how to be ever ready for such an event? Well, the best course of action is to wear devices such that the populace could ever be ready. Now wearing bulky life vests is on the ridiculous side, so we must turn our engineering expertness to the actual design of clothes themselves. Now, we usually have two forms of weather, mostly hot or extremely regularly warm, and a touch on the cooler side.
Well now I have discovered, existent a ready made solution for the female population, the bikini, the bikini with suitable inflatable water wing breasts! Indeed, this would benefit in terms of style as the female could have a larger set of bristols,zoomers or whatever they are referred to, and at the same time,in the event of a flood could maximally inflate such that they become life saving ,buoyant water wings...as is show in the accompanying picture.
For the cooler days, a dress could be worn, an inflatable dress,but not only inflatable, one that inflates into a full size kayak boat dress and so save the wearing much discomfort and worry during flood situations...again see the accompanying picture of the kayak dress as it could be used.Indeed we in the MRL would see to it, that every female in Britain would be provided,gratis, as in free, as in at no cost to them, one of each of these items. Of course, they might like to purchase more for their wardrobe but that extra cost would have to be born by them. As for males, a suitable pair of blowup kayak pants could be developed for their supply and use.
Indeed as ever, hands reaching out across the water to our misfortunate colonials in The Americas, particularly New Orleans,we could also sent up not lend lease as they provided during our war ,but rather borrow rental during this period of their meteorological war.
See accompanying images of these fascinating,useful and necessary flood clothing items.
Secret Squirrel,
MRL
Minister for Re-Deranged Re-Engineering.
--------------------------------------
The M.R.L.Solving Britain's Flood Water Problems
Well now, what with the recent floodings, and re-floodings occurring now virtually and in reality every year, something should be done about it. But of course the incumbent government has been laggardly in dealing with the recurring situations. There is a solution to the problem, a sound engineering solution, based on sound hydrological engineering principles, the very sound principles set down by the Romans. It all works and will work, on the basis of the Roman knowledge of hydrology, namely that water follows the rule of law written in hydrology that water must flow downhill, unless it is arrested by a rise in the land. Now Britain is up at the top of the world, and extends downwards, quite rightly, and properly with France and the French beneath us.
What needs be done, is quite simply, starting at the top, we construct,in the earth of course, a long line drainage canal extending downwards, towards and collecting at Dover. Why collecting, well there will be several branch lines joining the main artery canal,all part of a drainage canal system
Now the Collector, as it is called, where the water will be disposed of, is quite properly the Chunnel, to which the storm water will the be directed in to, continuing on, ever following the legalities of the Laws Of Hydrology, flowing downwards, and emerging in France, where it will be a French problem for them to deal with.
You recall a previous engineering plan of allowing the sewage of Great Britain to be collected and directed in to the Chunnel? Well, there will be no problem there as the Chunnel can accommodate both the sewage flows and the storm water flows,as some area cities already do have and share a common sewage/sanitation/storm drain system, so too can that principle be applied here, rather than separate, saving the costs of building another Chunnel...........a Pence saved is a Pound earned, until the government takes your pence.
Ever onwards, the M.R.L. solves problems through sound engineering principles.No problem there.
Secret Squirrel,
M.R.L.,
Minister for Re-Deranged Re-Engineering.
------------------------------------------------------------------
From the private files of......................
Secret Squirrel
The Rebel Had A Cause.
Secret Squirrel has found,hidden amongst the private papers of Marlon Brando the most brilliant plan to make each and every house in Britain independent of the electrics works companies. Brando envisaged a plan to string electric eels
round and about the swimming pool and then run cables to the house to electrically power the edifice.
Indeed a bold and innovative plan. All that remains is for the M.R.L. to take up his engineering genius
and free the British people from slavery to the electric works.Marlon Brando with his scheme to provide free and readily available eel-ectricity to the people,the people who make up humanity! Oh the humanity of Brando! Genius extraordinare.
Secret Squirrel
(M.R.L.)
Minister for Re-Deranged Re-Engineering
And just look at this, years after Brando's misfortunate departure from this world......
Japan eel wishes you an electric Christmas
TOKYO (Reuters) - Not even a blackout could put a damper on festivities at one Japanese aquarium where an electric eel is being used to light up its Christmas tree.
Two aluminum panels inside the eel's tank work as electrodes to catch its power. Cables attached to the panels supply the lights on the nearby tree with electricity.
Inventor Kazuhiko Minawa said it took him more than a month to devise a system that would effectively harness eel power.
"If we could gather all electric eels from all around the world, we would be able to light up an unimaginably giant Christmas tree," Minawa told Reuters Television.
Eels are widely eaten in Japan, especially in the summer, when their vitamin-rich flesh is seen as a way to regain stamina sapped by the heat.
The tree, which will stay illuminated until December 25, is proving a popular attraction, drawing tourists from all over the country. "I would love to have an eel like this at home. This is very nature-friendly," said visitor Harumi Yayoi.
(Reporting by Reuters Television; editing by Miral Fahmy)
(One other article mentions a copper electrode............)
http://www.reuters.com/article/lifestyleMolt/idUSSP27985020071213
Brando,yes, innovator of eel-ectricity...indeed yes. I recognized his genius years back when he suggested it, and I immediately put it forward to the MRL, as his project for the betterment of the people, indeed yes! And see too how today his project move forwards in to true realization......Brando.................and engineering genius, a pioneer in the field of energy generation, a pioneer in the field of electricity, of the generation,the safe generation, of green electricity,pretty much free eel-ectricity, but then life always throws you a PETA, they'll be marching now claiming cruelty to eels, cruelty for imprisoning eels..................................always the down side.
----------------------------------------------------------------
M.R.L.'s Cow Methane Driven Cars
Secret Squirrel says how now Brown's cow...............what have we here? I have discovered an excellent system of highly efficient automobile fuel, and it's free......indeed have you got a cow man? Well? No? Haven't got a cow? Well....get one..........for your own backyard, and have free automobile fuel for the rest of your life!! Imagine, yes indeed the system is engineering genius,mine of course, and already proveable in operation, indeed provable and efficient as in the example of already on the road propane powered taxis,cars,buses,lorries(trucks).
Cows can produce 500 litres of methane every day...as opposed to your average cowboys who produces 1/2 to 3 litres per day..........(the latter being studies of Mexican cowboys on a bean diet).
So, gasoline cost $0.94cents per litre..........propane $0.42cents per litre....cow methane per litre cost.......zero. The cow can be kept in the backyard and allowed to graze, saving cost and effort of cutting the grass as well.......increasing the savings...........the cow also provides milk.........an added plus.......
Now a per trip values estimate, on gasoline a 600km trip,at 60 litres of gas per trip, on propane the same trip consumes 80 litres, but of much cheaper cost,nearly half, but with propane this drops to zero. As to distance, well the 600 km figure for the day is highly acceptable as a base rate.............even for say taxis. Now taxis,many, are already equipped with propane tanks.
All that remains is to substitute the cow collection methane plastic tank.............easily swapped in with a fresh tank as the cow produces it...imagine, researchers from Argentina were surprised to find that a single 550-kg cow produces between 800 to 1,000 liters of emissions each day............more than enough for the day, and any excess production could be utilized for home cooking and heating uses,the barbie so plastic tanked as well. Indeed, these methane filled tanks can be used anywhere propane is presently utilized! Even yet trains could become methane cow powered. Imagine, The Iron Horse, becoming know as The Iron Cow!!The method of collection? Well the Argentines have been conducting experiments with cows to collect the methane they produce.
Little do they realize that that tank full of methane, could easily be substituted in vehicles for their already installed propane tanks(these tanks are housed in the boot(trunk), of the vehicles should they be of the passenger type, and other places for non passenger types,such as roofs for buses).! Well I can see you're thinking, how ridiculous it would be to drive about with a cow in the backseat producing methane for the car.......however,we don't need the entire cow, just the tank of methane it fills up, and indeed whilst driving on that tank, the cow could be in the backyard busily filling up yet another tank ready as needed! A truly efficient self-sustaining vehicular fuel energy system!Indeed, we are free! Free from fuel costs! Free to drive about as well please! free! Free! Free! And..the fuel supply is free as well!!
Well for a sureity the oil companies have gotten on to this, indeed at this very moment both pills,injections, and feed additives are being developed to stop cows from producing these massive free amounts of methane. The plot's afoot, I can sense Government and Big Business seeking to send my free fuel engineering system to ruination of the people.
But fear not, get a cow man! And get a methane collection tank! Convert your vehicle to propane driven, but wisely substitute a plastic methane tank swap system!!!!Free yourself!Get a cow,man!
Secret Squirrel,
M.R.L.,
Minister For Re-Deranged Re-Engineering.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Rules For Dealing With The Ozone Problem
I,Secret Squirrel solve this,and any other political problem that confuses and either won't go away or is difficult to explain away as a non problem..................
Launch a public relations campaign disputing the evidence.
Predict dire economic consequences, and ignore the cost benefits.
Find and pay a respected scientist to argue persuasively against the threat.
Use non-peer reviewed scientific publications or industry-funded scientists who don't publish original peer-reviewed scientific work to support your point of view.
Trumpet discredited scientific studies and myths supporting your point of view as scientific fact.
Point to the substantial scientific uncertainty, and the certainty of economic loss if immediate action is taken.
Use data from a local area to support your views, and ignore the global evidence.
Disparage scientists, saying they are playing up uncertain predictions of doom in order to get research funding.
Complain that it is unfair to require regulatory action in Britain, as it would put the nation at an economic disadvantage.
Claim that more research is needed before action should be taken.
Argue that it is less expensive to live with the effects.
Secret Squirrel.
MRL,
Minister For Re-Deranged Re-Engineering
-------------------------------------------------------------
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)