Secret Squirrel Proposes The Choco Bar As Currency.

Secret Squirrel has come upon chocolate, become fascinated by it, in more ways than one, besides liking it.Chocolate has quite an interesting history, not that we'll go in to ALL of it, be we will touch base with some of it.

In France, chocolate was a state monopoly.
According to legend, the French court’s love of chocolate was sealed when its new, self-confessed chocoholic queen, Anne of Austria (daughter of King Philip III of Spain), married Louis XIII in 1615(She and he were 11 at the time).Chocolate became an instant status symbol, and by decree, no one but members of the French aristocracy were allowed to drink it.

In England, anyone with money could drink chocolate.
The first chocolate house opened in London in 1657. Like coffee shops, which became popular much later, chocolate houses were places to enjoy a hot drink, discuss politics, socialize, and gamble.Many chocolate houses admitted only men. Others were open to anyone who could afford the entrance fee.

In countries like Ghana and Ivory Coast, people rarely eat chocolate because it is worth more to them as a trade product than as a food.
Well Candy is dandy, and at times even yet money..........here consider.......In the decades after WWII, Italy had some serious money problems: bills with so many zeros they make your eyes swim. And small change? It was just too crazy. The smallest bill was 500 lira. 5 lira coins and 10 lira coins, valued at less than a penny, were hardly worth the trouble, but many kinds of purchases ended up with these small amounts in play. The mint couldn’t keep enough coins in circulation to meet the need for small shops. So most of the time, when you went to buy groceries or
a pack of kleenex or a newspaper, you’d pay with a bill and get your change in, well, stuff. I got bandaids once, and a pencil another time. But the most popular alternative was candy.

This seemed quaint and charming to me at the time,  a happy traveler just passing through. But there were problems. Because it turns out that although the shop can give you candy as change, they are unlikely to accept candy as credit toward the purchase of something else.  Modern economies depend on MONEY as a single currency of exchange in every direction. Candy just doesn’t do.

Well, Italy solved its problem when everybody joined the Union and the Euro took the place of their desperate currency in 2002.  But it turns out that the candy money problem pops up in other places as well.

For example: in Indonesia, a recent study revealed that 10 percent of the country’s retailers are giving change in candy. This has evidently been a long standing problem. In  July, the retailers association agreed to stop doing the candy thing, and use only coins. The government promised to make more coins so no one would have the excuse of coin shortage. But still, the candy rules the cash
register. The shop keepers claim they are charged a 1 percent premium by the banks for stocking change, so they prefer using candy.

Now take note that when the Euro replaced the franc on 1 January 1999, the franc was worth less than an eighth of its original 1960 value.The price of chocolate, and candy bars, has steadily risen, never declined.28 Jan 2008 – Price of Hershey's candy bars going up 13% ... The price increase, effective immediately, boosts wholesale prices by 13 percent on standard The Hershey Company says it is raising
wholesale prices by 9.7% on most of its candy products.
26 Nov 2009 – That means that nearly half of the price increase in candy bars has come in just three years, for about a 24% increase in price per year.The price has never ever fallen you know, just increased.


Now ponder this out,1 euro = 1.2771 Canadian dollars....1.28 US dollars....1.24 Aussie dollars.............so what with tax.........a choco bar is a taxed euro,really at the present, say Canadian rate of $1.50 as found in the candy bar machine, consistant with all candy bars,of any variety and any size, therefor, the euro could be replaced by the much more useful candy bar exchange system.............say the choco bar.In short the simple solution to end the world debt crisis is to a
form of a currency candy bar.

"Currently, we are printing euros just as fast as we can," an EU spokesman said. "That lowers the value of the euro and reduces prices on our exports, so we can be more competitive on the world market." And so too is everyone else in the world, and this lowers the value of the currency itself, and the currency against other currencies, each and evry one in turn and aginst the other.In short currencies are unstable, and keep falling in value, subject to inflationary trends, and overprintings and whatever have you and we. Well consider this, I have mentioned, that candy bars never fall in value, rather the rise in value, currencies fall, and they may rise, but bbasicly candy bar prices remain stable, or, rise,never fall.In short they themselves have their upward valuation affected by inflation such that they simply rise in value, never fall in value, the currencies fall in value against the choco bar you know. An economic fact,and indisputable economic fact.And plainly and simply, it doesn't matter how many choco bars are manufactured by any and ALL companies, and marketed, their price does NOT fall, it remains constant OR RISES.......NEVER FALLS IN VALUE!! Now that's bang for the buck, solid bang,constant bang, unfailing bang,unyielding bang,undeclining in value bang!The economics of it is utterly indestructable!

Now picture this, the use of the choco bar as a global currency standard! Yes, it can be used as an exchange currency,indeed even today, and even yet need really not be stored, you see the idea of the exchange is really an utter and complete artificiality, in reality, but the bars themselves do exist.

In short say convert the value of a lira sale to choco bars in value, say at the going rate, then,doing an uneccesary physical transfer(we can substitute a litteral artificial on paper only transfer), convert from the choco bar value to whatever ,say ,dollars.You see.it works, the choco is an exchange currency quite simply, and existing real and tangible exchange currency which never declines in
value,only rises. The deal is done, exchange is made, no problems!How different this is from the US dollar which has been used in the past, but noadays is being frowned on as a simple fiat currency, paper print up. Well the Americans can print up their currency whilly nilly and not have problems, but not it seems the Europeans.Clearly we need a new transfer currency FOR ALL and I SAY FOR ALL. The choco bar is to be used as a base exchange currency!! Indeed nodoby can complain about how many choco bars exist, or are.manufactured,the US dollar is manufactured too, so who are they to complain.It works, across so many levels! Indeed should nations decide, they could conceivably have candy bar holdings in
tangible storage facilities, but these would require some refrigeration, or the facility held in a neutral site bank of convienience, say Greenland...BUT in terms of the artificiality of currency transactions in the first place, the existing stocks spread out in every nation's vending machines can and would simply do. Unquestionably.

There you have it, the Euro as a choco bar, the dollar as a choco bar, the Drachma as a choco bar,indeed all the world's varied currencies converted to the choco bar,for the purposes of exchange, and yet everyone would have a choco bar currency exchange rate of equal value!! Problem solved! The choco bar as currency.The world economy is saved! Saved by Secret Squirrel!

Secret Squirrel,
MRL,MP,(Dunny On The Wold),
Minister For Re-Deranged Re-Engineering.