Secret Squirrel And The Weird Scenes Inside The Fat Farm

Secret Squirrel has discovered a great many uses for fat people, for their fat, and at the same time, Squirrel has discovered ways to get them thin again, something they should be wanting to do and become, and all the while they'll be making themselves useful to their society, to their fellow man, to their nation,and once thin, they'll cost society a lot less, and perhaps more importantly to them, they'll be able to get fat again, fat to the extent that they can once again enter in to Squirrel's Fat Farm System,where they will once again be recycled in to that system.....hence, they'll have become,useful to society and at the self same time, environmentally friendly.Consider now that there are actually many little known,hardly advertised,uses for the liposuction fat garnered from fat people.

Here consider that "Liposuction Fat Can Be Turned Into Stem Cells",so a  Study Says,
Using leftovers from liposuction patients, scientists have turned human fat into stem cells, a new study says.The new method is much more efficient than a previous practice that used skin cells, researchers say.Human fat is "an abundant natural resource and a renewable one," said Stanford University plastic surgeon Michael Longaker, whose liposuction patients donated the fat for the study.
Longaker envisions a future in which doctors will be able to use fat from a patient to grow, in a lab, new tissues and organs for that patient.
The reprogrammed cells, called induced pluripotent stem cells, or iPS cells, are capable of turning into most types of cells in the body.Scientists are keen to obtain these cells to study disease and, one day, use them to grow new tissue and replacement organs.Previously, researchers had shown that they could derive this type of stem cell from ordinary skin cells.But the fat technique is about twice as fast and 20 times more efficient, said Joseph Wu, the study's senior author.


Now there's Breast Augmentation Using Fat Injection and Liposuction - An Alternative to Traditional Breast Implants,New Advances in Fat Grafting for Cosmetic Surgery Allow San Diego Plastic Surgeon Dr. Steven Cohen to Perform Breast Augmentation through Fat Injection Under Local Anesthesia
The use of a patient’s fat, and ultimately their fat derived stem and regenerative cells as filler for cosmetic surgery such as breast reconstruction and augmentation, may present a healthier, safer option for breast enhancement in some women. The application of fat also has potential benefits for other areas of aesthetic plastic surgery like breast implant salvage, facial rejuvenation and body contour deformities.Using a new dialysis/filtration technology called PureGraft, a physician can clean and process the fat in a sterile environment without motorized methods. Once fat has been carefully removed by specialized liposuction, done carefully to preserve the stem and regenerative cells, PureGraft technology filters everything but the pure fat tissue.
Some plastic surgeons also use liposuction fat on a limited basis for other types of cosmetic procedures such as breast augmentation, face wrinkle filling, or lip injections; these are also known as fat transfer procedures. Good candidates for fat transfer injections are those with areas of the face or body that could be improved by being significantly filled out in volume. Due to the natural composition of human fat cells, some doctors prefer to use liposuction fat over synthetic injection fillers.

Also Blood Vessels Made From Liposuction Fat Stem Cells From Fat Used to Make Blood Vessels to Repair Damaged Hearts.

Your own fat,or the fat of others, can be used to fill in furrows, lips, acne scarring and hollowed out areas on the face. This procedure has the advantage of being very soft and natural appearing as well as the ability to permanently correct the area it is placed in. Fat is a “filling” substance that can be used in small volumes to fill in most depressions as long as the skin above it can stretch to accommodate it. For example, lips can be made fuller by this technique. This is a procedure done while you are awake using only local anesthesia. Fat is a perfect filler — it is soft and natural feeling by itself. There is no allergic reaction to it, since it comes from your own body. There is even a chance that it will become permanent in the new location!

The Fat Harvest and Transfer procedure takes approximately 1 1/2 hours, and is done under local anesthesia. Excess fat taken out can be frozen for up to 6 months. Injections of frozen fat take a 15 minute appointment.

Recall now a fat powered boat........Eco-boat powered by human fat attempts round the world speed record.
The fastest eco boat on the planet will attempted to break the round the world speed record using fuel made from human fat.

Record breaking attempt: Earthrace  attempted to circumnavigate the globe running 100 per cent biodiesel, and with a net zero carbon-footprint.
Earthrace is a 78 foot alternative fuel powered wave-piercing trimaran, it can carry 3,000 gallons of fuel, and weighs 23 tonnes when fully fuelled. Demonstrating further commitment to the cause, Bethune underwent liposuction and donated enough to produce 100ml of biofuel, while two other, larger volunteers also had the procedure, making a total of 10 litres of human fat.
This in turn produced seven litres of biofuel, which could help the boat travel about 15km.
Earthrace is fuelled on 100 per cent biodiesel and has a net zero carbon footprint.
Pete Bethune, the New Zealand skipper of Earthrace, believes the boat can help advance biodiesel as a genuinely viable alternative to petroleum diesel.

Also now recall how a Liposuction Doctor Used Fat from Patients to Power His Car.
It sounds like a great idea, actually: Take the excess body fat from liposuction patients and use it to power your car. That's what a Beverly Hills doctor figured, and he even bragged about it on his website LipoDiesel.com (now shut down). It even sounds like a California trend: Get thin and reduce America's dependence on foreign oil all at the same time!
So now Dr. Alan Bittner's clinic is closed, and liposuction patients have to get their fat sucked out somewhere else. So where, exactly, does all that excess body fat go from liposuction clinics? If you saw Fight Club, you might recall the main characters rendering the body fat into high explosives. I like the Lipodiesel idea better, because it puts the excess body fuel towards a more productive use.
Instead of shutting down this operation, the state of California should embrace it. Why not do a joint venture with McDonalds? "Eat a Big Mac. You'll get a smile, and your car goes another mile!"
Besides, a nation full of fat people could serve as a reserve oil supply. If the Arab nations stop shipping us barrels oil, we can just start tapping into the population to power our cars with liposuction fat. And if we run out of body fat to process into diesel fuel, we can always eat more, right? Eating more junk food might actually become patriotic: "Snarf down some burgers and fries for your nation's energy independence!" Talk about Freedom Fries, huh?

Don't laugh, because I'm not making this up, but the human body stores so much energy that the town of Helsingborg, Sweden, uses the heat from local crematoriums to generate about 10 percent of the heat used its homes. Technically speaking, it would be a very simple matter for crematoriums to power steam turbines that generate electricity.


Think about it:

* Biofuel from human fat cells can power cars, trucks, even power plants themselves
* Free Liposuction! Mass liposuction at a given weight for the entire population
* These "biological fuel stores" will be "sheared like sheep" at a given interval to keep energy supplies up
* "Fatties" will no longer be a negative term; the obese will be regarded as patriotic as they fuel our nation and become an essential part of our nation's infrastructure
* Obesity "Epidemic" coverage would disappear as people would be proud of their bulkier humankind
* Fast Food would be encouraged
* Clothes industry would expand, making dual sizes - full and empty
* Diet pyramid schemes would disappear overnight

Now, If one weighed about 200lbs. It would only take about 4 months to get  up to 300. If they sucked out a third of the body fat at 300 pounds, he could be back at 200 in about the same time. Considering the fact that  body fat would be used for energy, it seems like a great trade-off.
Besides, with that kind of energy return, who wouldn't want the U.S. government to invest in such a bold plan,what of the U.K. government,would they realize the sense and sensibility in such a plan as I propose,or would they cover and retreat to their ink and incapability?

After all, America IS the land of opportunity,why then not too the U.K.?

Now how to do it,concentrate large numbers of fat people in one place, a fat camp, using abandoned refurbed British nut houses and in America, abandoned US prisons.Imagine what I,errr we, could offer An All-Inclusive Fat Farm Summer Package for example, and for the more burgeoise of Fat Men, year round stays possible.Now we offer an attractive all-inclusive package to fat camp this summer. We can even yet charge them,say just $3,000 per person, for four wonderful weeks in serene paradise, while they focus on improving their body,by liposuction. We'll let them know that their packages are not your typical hamster wheel fat farms,where the fatties work treadmills turning electrical energy generators, no siree. If you want to loose a few pounds this camp is all about packing on as much extra lard as possible,and then having it liposuctioned off,for free.The Fat Farm's motto.........?"Know Fat! Know Good!Now Fat!Now Good!No Fat! No Good! The package includes a money-back guarantee.

After a complimentary welcome party and a twelve course "getting to know each other" meal, you will be assigned a personal chef/waiter/maid/masseuse. These sexy boys/girls,dependent on your inclination,in America we can even yet throw in some learning Senatorial interns.
Instead of canoeing or playing volleyball, you'll be lounging in front of a wide screen TV, eating all the buffalo wings, buttered popcorn, enchiladas, and guacamole you can handle. All-Inclusive means unlimited beverages, so feel free to order a tub of double thick chocolate milkshakes or a barrel of Margaritas.

While most places offer an arts and crafts tent,ours stocks a dessert room,a free buffet,all you really can eat. No need to make an appointment, just stop by and stuff your face whenever you feel like it. If you have a craving for chocolate mousse topped with double-stuffed Mallows at four o'clock in the morning, don't worry, the dessert room will be there for you.

If you do feel like exercising, lumber on over to the Olympic-sized swimming pool. The pool is refilled each day with a different tasty treat. Some days you'll be doing laps through butterscotch pudding, and other days you'll be in dog paddle heaven, swimming through lemon meringue.

 The counselors are there to help; they want you to reach your full potential and be as huge as you can be,we will even yet use the french method of feeding you, just as they feed geese and ducks they fatten for pate de fois gras, of which you will also be happily supplied with free a la carte,buffet at no charge what so ever,force feeding is always an option.

During your stay you will be treated to a series of motivational speakers, each telling their personal body stretching story. These stories of drive and determination will make you go for the gold, or at least for another platter of extra cheesy lasagna.
Here we have an interesting video of a typical dining room scene, they will be shown this and told it could be you...........

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rXH_12QWWg8

And they will be told that early and frequent early liposuction prevents this from happening.......
Of course, if the fat people just won't come around to being made useful members of society,and certainly useful they have proven to be by the many modern uses of liposuction, well, then perhaps we'll just have to construct railways to the places, and simply........round'em up.

Secret Squirrel,
MRL,MP,(Dunny On The Wold),
Minister For Re-Deranged Re-Engineering.