Secret Squirrel Uses Global Cooling To Combat Global Warming.

Secret Squirrel notices they keep mentioning,global warming, global cooling, on and on they go, claiming we have each of the other, and should have neither/or/nor/either at the same time, and shouldn't have any of it at anytime,but have one or the other all the time when the
other should be had neither at any time,and what not else.Well if we had global cooling, then they go on about how it ill effects all things and us, and we should be not having it.And the other lot, the lot with global warming, go off in and after the self same fashion at the same time. So the other half claims we have global warming and shouldn't have any of it,but wouldn't want the other half neither/either/or/nor. On and on they go,scientists and politicians,Backward, forward, outward, inward, Bottom to the top, Never a beginning, There can never be a stop,to their ridiculous scientifically political jolly caucus race.
the only time any of that lot are sane is when they've gone off conkers,which occurs every year,in Britain,only, October to November, and only then mind, which explains why Britain is better off compared with anybody else since nobody else goes off conkers. So they have global warming, they say, or at least half of the lot say. Well firstly, we'll cure the problem of half the lot, the global warming lot. Later Squirrel will cure the problem of the other half, but not at this time.
  
So here's the headline which attracted Squirrel's attention.....

Icelandic volcano could trigger Britain's coldest winter EVER this year
BRITAIN could freeze in YEARS of super-cold winters and miserable summers if the Bardarbunga volcano erupts, experts have warned.

and was found at.....

http://www.express.co.uk/news/nature/502349/Iceland-ash-cloud-could-trigger-freezing-cold-winter-this-year-if-it-erupts

    So what did the scientists mention about this coming event, well basically that in 1783 eastern regions of the United States recorded the lowest ever temperature after Iceland’s Laki volcano erupted that year. In Indonesia, the eruption of Mount Tambora in 1815 led to an unusually cold spring and summer the following year.

After Krakatau erupted in Indonesia in 1883 the world was hit by colder than average conditions for months. The 1980 eruption of Mount St Helens in Skamania County, Washington, United States, led to global temperatures dropping by 0.1C. Two years later the El Chichon
volcano in Mexico spat much less debris into the sky but a greater amount of sulphurous gasses is thought to have triggered a global temperature drop of up to five times the  St Helens. Well why does this happen, the temperature drop, indeed as well as huge volumes of
ash, the furious mountains also spit out large volumes of sulphur dioxide gas which adds to the cooling effect. So Volcanic eruptions inject sulfur dioxide gas into the atmosphere.
So if the eruptions are large enough to add sulfur dioxide to the stratosphere (the atmospheric
layer above the troposphere), the gas forms tiny droplets of sulfuric acid, also known as "volcanic aerosols." These droplets reflect some portion of the incoming sunlight back into space, cooling Earth's surface and the lower atmosphere.

Volcanic eruptions that have been spewing over the last 14 years may be partially responsible for the cooling of Earth and slowing down the effects of global warming, a new study published in Nature Geoscience suggests.

So, Squirrel suggests, you lot with all those bombs, and missiles, instead of hurling them at the civilians of the world, the children,the schools, the houses,the apartments, the shopping malls, the hospitals, as is occurring round and about the world,especially in the Middle East
area presently, why not chuck'em all at volcanoes. Yes, volcanoes, especially the laggardly volcanoes, the merely smoking ones, the resting and/or dormant ones, and wake'em all up, and hence contribute to global cooling! Indeed yes! Squirrel has a solution!

    Indeed Squirrel goes on, and finds yet another interesting event which contributes to global cooling of the world. Curiously enough, and humourously enough, Squirrel has found a second viable solution to bring global cooling to combat global warming, that of the,snicker,
Squirrel must snicker here, in the...............get ready for this...... the cold war.

In 1983, a conference on the issue of a nuclear war was organized by American scientists.
This found at http://www.historylearningsite.co.uk/nuclear_winter.htm.
The conference was titled ‘The Long-Term Worldwide Consequences of Nuclear War’. It concluded that a nuclear war would involve the use of 5,000 megatons of nuclear bombs. These bombs would produce 225
million tons of smoke alone. The darkness created by these explosions would last for weeks and even months. Without the rays of the Sun penetrating through to the Earth’s surface, daily temperatures away from the coast would fall to –15 to –25 degrees Celsius. Of course
this involved ALL nuclear weapons, world wide, ALL of them. Clearly, Squirrel proposes not to use ALL of them,just some of them, and,scientifically, in an isolated area so the MASSIVE predicted temperature drop would not occur, but rather a comfortable one. Indeed Squirrel proposes tests be done, with just one location, bombing.......... then noting the effects.
Bombing again, noting the effects, bombing again, noting the effects, then bombing with more bombs based on the figures obtained from the first test bombs in direct proportion to achieve the desired comfortable temperature. Now Squirrel has in democratic fashion, taken a pole of
locations, suitable for this test/alteration of the world's temperature, at suitable locations of learning, Eaton,Oxford,Cambridge,those hallowed halls of learning and the learned,(Canadian and American politicians walk the halls to be able to include them on resumes of institutions of learning attended) and, well, the number one selected site,unanimously, was fortunate that Squirrel did not hold a binding referendum, as the
preferred location came out as being........drum roll.......FRANCE!
Somehow I expected this,and I know the French will be angry with Squirrel such that Squirrel does not prefer them to win anything, nor come out first in anything, but so it goes,Squirrel prefers and
recommends, for whatever reasons, to use the test site of...... GREENLAND!

 Now I know Eaton,Oxford,Cambridge, et all, may be displeased with Squirrel for rejecting France, but they must know the French are basically useless for anything, and that includes this, they are just not known for doing anything right really and as such, must not be involved in such a critically scientific and important undertaking. Indeed the contributions of the French in the fields of sciences have been severely limited to discoveries made entirely by errors and accidents, actually made and discovered by those other than the French who discovered the French errors and what they had done.
   All things taken in to account, Squirrel here states that to end global warming and replace it with suitable global cooling,adding air conditioning to the world as it were, was and is to increase the amounts of available and actively erupting volcanoes, and also to atombomb,most severely, Greenland, to bring the effects of nuclear winter to add to the effects of global cooling,all being done properly and scientifically of course. Squirrel here does mention, though, that should there be displeasure with his selection of Greenland to be atom bombed, severely effecting and resulting in the cutting off of any and or all of his
scientific funding, then he will immediately scientifically reconsider and go with their recommendation of atom bombing France. In all things,always, Squirrel remains inflexible, unbending, uninfluenceable,in those matters involving scientific solutions to problems. So says Squirrel.

Secret Squirrel,
MRL,Monster Raving Loony Party,
MP,Dunny On The Wold,
Minister For Re-Deranged re-Engineering.
  

Secret Squirrel's The Shape Of Things To Come.

Secret Squirrel came across what is, and what has to be, to everyone, an absolutely and utterly horrific headline.......

Metro grinds to a halt as huge power cut hits hundreds of homes and businesses in Newcastle
which was so noted to be found here...

http://www.chroniclelive.co.uk/news/north-east-news/metro-grinds-halt-huge-power-7600783

  Well, Squirrel showed no fear, Squirrel knows no fear, for Squirrel sees the world of the future,the shape of things to come, no gas, no oil, no natural gas, no electricity, but Squirrel shows no fear. Nay, Squirrel knows what needs to be done about it all and what shall be done, what MUST be done.Squirrel knows that we must all present our backsides to the future. And so looking in hindsight, here, today Squirrel presents his solutions to the problem. Do read on, and, yes, do visit the links presented to see how Squirrel envisions the solution to all problems to do with transportation, with our daily lives, problems which we now face, but problems which they saw in days of old, problems that they solved for us then knowing we would need that very thing, now, and in the future. Here see Squirrel's wisdoms, the wisdoms of our forefather's, the wisdoms of the ancients.

Yes Squirrel does not only see problems, but foresees problems, and rather than causing problems, Squirrel solves problems, problems of the day, with utterly sound, proven and proveable highly advanced high tech as it were. Well, how will Squirrel solve the problems, of no electricity, no gas, no oil and etc for example? Here we continue and commence with the solution.

So, firstly, it'll be back to the rickshaws..........

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/e/e1/Pousse-pousse_Madagascar.jpg

and also

http://travelmattersblog.files.wordpress.com/2014/02/china-rickshaw.jpg

Fine examples these are, and present yet today by those saving vastly on gas prices, beating the oil companies, and in yet a very, very green fashion as well. That'll work in Britain and elsewhere, but that'll involve the importation of vast amounts of Chinese,still they eat mostly only rice, or Ramen at best, and far better, of course, they than we.
 However should this not be possible, or the Chinese won't do it, we could introduce a work for welfare program and so employ those on the dole, have them work for their keep and kippers. One does also recall the semi rickshaw type pedicabs at Man and His World, Montreal 1967, Expo '67, (Squirrel himself, did, indeed, ride about in one) really trikes (tricycles,for those not in tune with shortened words) with a back sofa seat, not dissimilar to this luxury chinese version.....

http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2013/06/02/article-2334632-1A0A2F06000005DC-352_634x422.jpg

and hey, dolled up somewhat, it could easily become the newest most modern highly technological version of the family........car. Car I did mention car didn't I, well a full version is being worked on and is present in our modern day technology.Here we see the basic bicycle car, imagine now we simply top over it a suitable automobile shell.....

http://www.shoppedornot.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/05/car-shopped-or-not.png

http://www.chatnbike.com/WebObjects/FamilyCycleGroupOrder.woa/Contents/WebServerResources/images/cycles/quattro7.jpg

and indeed here we have a pedal powered caravan, that's trailer home to you yanks across the puddle......

http://inhabitat.com/camper-bike-pedal-powered-rv-for-one/wp-content/blogs.dir/1/files/camperbike-ed01-537x356.jpg

and, for those too lazy to pedal well, here is yet another version of the caravan, the deluxe version so to speak,

but it'll be a little more costly as the horse must be maintained...

http://floridamemory.com/fpc/reference/rc04603.jpg

and , of course, we shall never loose the car if WE further adapt as so many have, mostly in Asia, Africa, Mexico, Central and South America,and actually parts of France and Spain (I've seen it)...

https://landing.athabascau.ca/mod/file/thumbnail.php?file_guid=168524&size=large&icontime=1348849070

or

http://howmany.org/images/bull_and_cab.jpg


Now cities with trolleys can still keep their trolleys, no need for everybody to go off their trolleys. Recall in the days of wiser older wisdom, horses pulled them as we see here.......

http://freepages.history.rootsweb.ancestry.com/~dickbolt/HorseDrawnChicopee.jpg

The same goes for what was then called the omnibus..or bus as it is today,

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/5/59/Star_Omnibus_Company_horse_bus,_2010_Cobham_bus_rally.jpg

But hey, intercity bus, stagecoach, again pulled by the horse...

http://www.dyslexia-aware.com/dawn/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/stagecoach.jpg


and here we can see what will one day be a modern freight train......

http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:StateLibQld_1_298491_Work_horses_pulling_trucks_loaded_from_the_quarry_at_Point_Danger,_ca._1903.jpg

Clearly also, passenger train can be kept, and let me tell you the breakdown prone Amtrak of the day is not all that far from this...

http://mikes.railhistory.railfan.net/imfile/10251.jpg

And well, we see that all work and no play makes jack a dull boy, what of recreational creations? Well here today,and certainly will be there tomorrow and in the future see these...pedal powered roller coasters here seen in Japan..

http://www.escapistmagazine.com/news/view/123859-Pedal-Powered-Roller-Coaster-Features-at-Bicycle-Theme-Park

and yet another type at...

http://www.treehugger.com/bikes/treehugger-style-roller-coaster-in-japan-its-pedal-powered.html

And did you know that a British filmmaker and festival director from County Durham is strengthening ties with the People’s Democratic Republic of Lao by taking a pedal-powered cinema to the capital, Vientiane, along with a selection of Wallace and Gromit films for Christmas screenings at the British Embassy. Yes, they pedal it about to
different areas, and also, of course, pedal to provide power to drive the cinema show, not to go in to detail,but your basic flat screen (light) TV and suitable dvd player powered from a pedal powered generator. Imagine in the present day solving a problem of the future.

 Of course this could be applied to the home, where one would, as in days of old, have a child or more, for pedalling these types of things for us and other such devices for various home needs. Imagine now our pedal powered car, telling the kid, "Come on lad! Time for a car ride!" T'is what our children are good for now,to pedal, if not imbecillic ideas, then at least........that.

So Squirrel is in no ways worried,nor are others of the day worried, nay not the followers of, and supporters of, Squirrel, of course.

Indeed in the world of today, now no less, there are some who live Squirrel's vision of the future, in Asia, Africa, South and Central America, Mexico, even yet certain pockets of the United States and the colony of Canada, today, and now,and for that matter, continuing on in to the future, as we all shall! In short, we shall be..........Living In An Amish Paradise...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lOfZLb33uCg

Indeed, solutions Squirrel has! Yes, Squirrel will replace our single biggest problem, the source of ALL our problems of today and of the future, BIG OIL, with two,yes two replacements...........BIG BICYCLE and BIG HORSE'S ASS! Ever onwards, yes, forwards we must go, whilst looking in hindsight, we progress with our backsides to the future!

Secret Squirrel,
MRL,Monster Raving Loony Party,
MP,Dunny On The Wold,
Minister For Re-Deranged Re-Engineering.

Secret Squirrel Calculates How To Bring Everybody's National Debt to Equal Zero Balance.

Secret Squirrel has pondered the horrific state of the economies of the world, with respect to the greatest problem of all, the national debts of each and every nation of the world. Squirrel has not pondered idley,recall he was a student of the brilliantly minded John Kenneth Galbraith,teaching in Montreal at the Sir George Williams Night High School,where Squirrel was priviledged to be allowed to learn in the class he taught,Galbraith the great American economist and writer of many books concerning economics and economies on the national and global scale,and who was the
economic adviser to the American President, John Fitzgerald Kennedy, and also of Dr. Sani,under whom Squirrel studied, again in Montreal, at the famous and most reverend and reverred and respected school of the Jesuit Fathers, Loyola Of Montreal(before the time the government of the day actually seized, tho they stated...absorbed, said grand and great
learning institution and incorporated it in to their government school,Sir George Williams University,sadly,Sani  the great Canadian economist who was the advisor to the Government of Canada. They would indeed be proud for Squirrel has come up with a viable mathematical solution which would bring everybody to a state of zero debt, and then some, for some, many, nay, all the other nations of the world.

Interestingly it involves bringing America's utterly horrific and ever building, and never paid national debt to zero balance with respect to the other nations of the world which have a national debt as well, but, of course, far lower than that of America's. Now let us consider.

The marketable debt of the U.S. government has more than doubled--climbing by 106 percent--while the present President Barack Obama,of America, was,and still is yet at time of writing, in office,guiding the US economy,increasing from $5,749,916,000,000 at the end of January 2009,basicly round and about when he took(some say literally), office.Well, he
spent it, on what nobody knows for sure, but he spent it, and having neededmoney he didn't have, he came up with it,by simply printing up treasury certificates, and then having the US Treasury Department, print up money for him! Sadly other nations don't have the US Treasury Department to do that to,and with. and then he simply spent it all, and he calls it the national debt, refers to it as the national debt, a national debt he keeps mysteriously adding to spending money he doesn't have.In between all this he made certain veiled and mysterious threats
about other nations debts,and national debt, and claiming they were insolvent,in a state of insolvency, bankruptcy, since they had spent money they hadn't and so were in debt from various governmental errors and mismangements and whatever else he could think of and was threatening them all with whatever he does and did and continues to.What the heck he's the American President and that's what he does round and about the world.
So Squirrel has pondered this horrific state of affairs, the general state of affairs, involving, the nations of the world, and the global national debt situation which the American President keeps complaining about to to and against all the other nations of the world.Well Squirrel has a solution which is and should be fair and equitable to and for all.......as Squirrel a champion of the cricket pitch, where equality,justice,fair play, and fairness rule,obviously is right for the task and solution at hand for all.
So the US external debt stands at $17,344,649,899,999,the next highest is Britain at $10,090,000,000,000,so we subtract, this makes the USA total national debt, all by itself at what would be and is $7,254,649,899,999, a global zero figure as it were.So to be equal ,Britain, must be allowed to spend that sum to come equal,to the zero state,the equal state, and thence everybody else,each other nation of the world,would apply the same mathematical formula, in all
equality and fairness,would hit in equity zero and equal zero debt,for them, against the American,thence taken as zero debt. But it is to be remembered that nations such as Australia,which have far less national debt, balanced against the US national debt, would be entitled therefore to very much more,of course to be equal and come to zero debt in proper
fashion, and so too other nations, all other nations, would be so entitled to apply the mathematical formula here expounded by Squirrel.But also,of course,remember that Singapore,Macau,British Virgin Islands,Brunei,Leichenstein,Taiwan, and Palau, having zero national debt to start with, and so applying Squirrel's formula,in all fairness and equality,would thence be entitled to the full original   sum of America's national debt, $17,344,649,899,999, and good for'em as well............!!!!! Lucky they.

It's not that easy,though, you're saying.Well you're right. It isn't. We must factor in the nations Public debt as well(internal as it were). Well,let's continue to be fair now,the US internal national debt is a figure  of 72.50 % against the GDP, well that makes a profit of 27.5 % which must be applied downwards of the aforesaid total NATIONAL external debt,since it reflects also the GDP of the debtor nation(s).Britain's is 90% so they only would get a 10% applied in the green column towards their final debt free calculation,so to go to zero for America they could thence
apply only 17.5% in actuality for the final figure each nation would thence use, and so too every other nation of the world, in and after like and kind,or the negatively and/or to zero as the income tax forms state. So you see, all's well and good for everybody in the rest of the world,and since the other nations have all been then compensated with an equality with America, the extra cash to spend as they say fit.That leaves America essentially at zero debt since it all balances well and good,against each and every nation of the world, and good for them, and good and great for the
rest of the nations of the world which now get to spend as they will the cash they are really in all equality and equity entitled to to bring them on par with America, the big zero debtwise.

So you see, all that remains is for the nations of the world, and their economists,to sit down with the Americans, explain it all to them and say we all now each have an extra $7,254,649,899,999(MORE,yes, indeed, I have surmised, for nations who have less debt than Britain just mentioning that here Britain was used as a base calculation, all other nations having less debt, their debt figures applied, would have therefor substantially MORE than the UK would
have,however to keep things simple for the politicians of the world, we have to keep things simple and use the calculations for the UK,Britain as it were,was,and still is,as yet.), to spend as we see fit,for whatever we see fit,or actually they,being the other nations of the world, and America doesn't as it has spent it already.But hey, the national debts have now been cancelled and put to paid by it all, and everybody can start to accumulate a national debt as well, however it would only accrue once each had spent their $7,254,649,899,999 and not before. America would start
at zero, with a clean slate, just adding and building to the,their national debt once more, in and after the fashion they did before, and so would rightly and justly and in all equality, have no just cause for complaints,since after all, all nations would be equal in their own eyes, and..............the eyes of America now wouldn't they?


Secret Squirrel,
MRL,(Monster Raving Loony Party),
MP,(Dunny On The Wold),
Minister For Re-Deranged Re-Engineering.