Secret Squirrel Uses Global Cooling To Combat Global Warming.

Secret Squirrel notices they keep mentioning,global warming, global cooling, on and on they go, claiming we have each of the other, and should have neither/or/nor/either at the same time, and shouldn't have any of it at anytime,but have one or the other all the time when the
other should be had neither at any time,and what not else.Well if we had global cooling, then they go on about how it ill effects all things and us, and we should be not having it.And the other lot, the lot with global warming, go off in and after the self same fashion at the same time. So the other half claims we have global warming and shouldn't have any of it,but wouldn't want the other half neither/either/or/nor. On and on they go,scientists and politicians,Backward, forward, outward, inward, Bottom to the top, Never a beginning, There can never be a stop,to their ridiculous scientifically political jolly caucus race.
the only time any of that lot are sane is when they've gone off conkers,which occurs every year,in Britain,only, October to November, and only then mind, which explains why Britain is better off compared with anybody else since nobody else goes off conkers. So they have global warming, they say, or at least half of the lot say. Well firstly, we'll cure the problem of half the lot, the global warming lot. Later Squirrel will cure the problem of the other half, but not at this time.
  
So here's the headline which attracted Squirrel's attention.....

Icelandic volcano could trigger Britain's coldest winter EVER this year
BRITAIN could freeze in YEARS of super-cold winters and miserable summers if the Bardarbunga volcano erupts, experts have warned.

and was found at.....

http://www.express.co.uk/news/nature/502349/Iceland-ash-cloud-could-trigger-freezing-cold-winter-this-year-if-it-erupts

    So what did the scientists mention about this coming event, well basically that in 1783 eastern regions of the United States recorded the lowest ever temperature after Iceland’s Laki volcano erupted that year. In Indonesia, the eruption of Mount Tambora in 1815 led to an unusually cold spring and summer the following year.

After Krakatau erupted in Indonesia in 1883 the world was hit by colder than average conditions for months. The 1980 eruption of Mount St Helens in Skamania County, Washington, United States, led to global temperatures dropping by 0.1C. Two years later the El Chichon
volcano in Mexico spat much less debris into the sky but a greater amount of sulphurous gasses is thought to have triggered a global temperature drop of up to five times the  St Helens. Well why does this happen, the temperature drop, indeed as well as huge volumes of
ash, the furious mountains also spit out large volumes of sulphur dioxide gas which adds to the cooling effect. So Volcanic eruptions inject sulfur dioxide gas into the atmosphere.
So if the eruptions are large enough to add sulfur dioxide to the stratosphere (the atmospheric
layer above the troposphere), the gas forms tiny droplets of sulfuric acid, also known as "volcanic aerosols." These droplets reflect some portion of the incoming sunlight back into space, cooling Earth's surface and the lower atmosphere.

Volcanic eruptions that have been spewing over the last 14 years may be partially responsible for the cooling of Earth and slowing down the effects of global warming, a new study published in Nature Geoscience suggests.

So, Squirrel suggests, you lot with all those bombs, and missiles, instead of hurling them at the civilians of the world, the children,the schools, the houses,the apartments, the shopping malls, the hospitals, as is occurring round and about the world,especially in the Middle East
area presently, why not chuck'em all at volcanoes. Yes, volcanoes, especially the laggardly volcanoes, the merely smoking ones, the resting and/or dormant ones, and wake'em all up, and hence contribute to global cooling! Indeed yes! Squirrel has a solution!

    Indeed Squirrel goes on, and finds yet another interesting event which contributes to global cooling of the world. Curiously enough, and humourously enough, Squirrel has found a second viable solution to bring global cooling to combat global warming, that of the,snicker,
Squirrel must snicker here, in the...............get ready for this...... the cold war.

In 1983, a conference on the issue of a nuclear war was organized by American scientists.
This found at http://www.historylearningsite.co.uk/nuclear_winter.htm.
The conference was titled ‘The Long-Term Worldwide Consequences of Nuclear War’. It concluded that a nuclear war would involve the use of 5,000 megatons of nuclear bombs. These bombs would produce 225
million tons of smoke alone. The darkness created by these explosions would last for weeks and even months. Without the rays of the Sun penetrating through to the Earth’s surface, daily temperatures away from the coast would fall to –15 to –25 degrees Celsius. Of course
this involved ALL nuclear weapons, world wide, ALL of them. Clearly, Squirrel proposes not to use ALL of them,just some of them, and,scientifically, in an isolated area so the MASSIVE predicted temperature drop would not occur, but rather a comfortable one. Indeed Squirrel proposes tests be done, with just one location, bombing.......... then noting the effects.
Bombing again, noting the effects, bombing again, noting the effects, then bombing with more bombs based on the figures obtained from the first test bombs in direct proportion to achieve the desired comfortable temperature. Now Squirrel has in democratic fashion, taken a pole of
locations, suitable for this test/alteration of the world's temperature, at suitable locations of learning, Eaton,Oxford,Cambridge,those hallowed halls of learning and the learned,(Canadian and American politicians walk the halls to be able to include them on resumes of institutions of learning attended) and, well, the number one selected site,unanimously, was fortunate that Squirrel did not hold a binding referendum, as the
preferred location came out as being........drum roll.......FRANCE!
Somehow I expected this,and I know the French will be angry with Squirrel such that Squirrel does not prefer them to win anything, nor come out first in anything, but so it goes,Squirrel prefers and
recommends, for whatever reasons, to use the test site of...... GREENLAND!

 Now I know Eaton,Oxford,Cambridge, et all, may be displeased with Squirrel for rejecting France, but they must know the French are basically useless for anything, and that includes this, they are just not known for doing anything right really and as such, must not be involved in such a critically scientific and important undertaking. Indeed the contributions of the French in the fields of sciences have been severely limited to discoveries made entirely by errors and accidents, actually made and discovered by those other than the French who discovered the French errors and what they had done.
   All things taken in to account, Squirrel here states that to end global warming and replace it with suitable global cooling,adding air conditioning to the world as it were, was and is to increase the amounts of available and actively erupting volcanoes, and also to atombomb,most severely, Greenland, to bring the effects of nuclear winter to add to the effects of global cooling,all being done properly and scientifically of course. Squirrel here does mention, though, that should there be displeasure with his selection of Greenland to be atom bombed, severely effecting and resulting in the cutting off of any and or all of his
scientific funding, then he will immediately scientifically reconsider and go with their recommendation of atom bombing France. In all things,always, Squirrel remains inflexible, unbending, uninfluenceable,in those matters involving scientific solutions to problems. So says Squirrel.

Secret Squirrel,
MRL,Monster Raving Loony Party,
MP,Dunny On The Wold,
Minister For Re-Deranged re-Engineering.
  

Secret Squirrel On UFO's,Aliens,And The Nuclear Bomb.

Secret Squirrel has here turned his magnificent problem solving mind to analysing UFO's,Aliens as it were,illegal evidently,as they're not registered,and their activities on earth, and has discovered the governments and militaries of the world have had experience with aliens, UFO's as it were, those from outer
space, those whom they claim don't exist,those whom the claim don't do crop circles yet ask them not to do more, those who Stephen Hawking says don't exist,or didn't exist,in the 60's,amended this a touch to,"Of course it is possible that UFO's really do contain aliens as many people believe, and the government is hushing it up. I wouldn't like to comment on that."--- Comment by Stephen Hawking,but he has now further amended things saying,changing his view,yet again,stating they exist but we shouldn't talk to them.What an indecisive,idiotic,chaotic imbecile,whom unquestionably likes hearing his mechanical, electronic, Dalek like
voice talk.But whom is he referring to?Who?He is referring to those highly intelligent,much more intelligent,Aliens(legal,illegal,or otherwise)whom the government claim weren't there when they hovered over the house a few weeks ago.......those....aliens,unregistered,illegal it seems,much like Mexicans whom nobody can get rid of and send home and keep out.Those?It seems so.They keep saying that there is intelligent life out in the universe,which doesn't exist.Just look at our governments.Their only friends are Balderdash,and,Falderall. If they,the non existent aliens,met THEM,they'd certainly believe that intelligence doesn't exist in them(as we all know).It certainly doesn't exist there,nay not in government. We suffer from, and live in fear of, wars, of all kinds,directed by governments, particularly nuclear war.But have a look at this article found in the Daily Telegraph,here examplified, and others.....


http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/ufo/8026971/Aliens-have-deactivated-British-and-US-nuclear-missiles-say-US-military-pilots.html

The headline reads.........

Aliens have deactivated British and US nuclear missiles, say US military pilots

"Aliens have landed, infiltrated British nuclear missile sites and deactivated the weapons, according to US military pilots.The beings have repeated their efforts in the US and have been active since 1948, the men said, and accused the respective governments of trying to keep the information secret........
"One of the men, Capt Robert Salas, said: "The US Air Force is lying about the national security implications of unidentified aerial objects at nuclear bases and we can prove it."He said said he witnessed such an event first-hand on March 16, 1967, at Malmstrom Air Force Base in Montana which housed Minuteman nuclear missiles.Capt Salas continued: "I was on duty when an object came over and hovered directly over the site........"The missiles shut down - 10 Minuteman missiles. And the same thing happened at another site a week later. There's a strong interest in our missiles by these objects, wherever they come from. I personally think they're not from planet Earth."Others claim to have seen similar activity in the UK........."


The governments of the world are worried, but do their electorates worry,or ours for that matter,or who so ever's?In the event of Nuclear war, we've been taught in schools, to get down under the desks etc cetera.I recall how I was trained to get down under my desk, and sniff Rhoda's behind. Yes, that was the cure that would save me.So what now? Me worry? Well, I'm here, Rhoda's in Montreal, there is no desk about, whatever am I to do,in a nuclear war, I'm going to die.Clearly the problem,my problem,your problem, then is best solved by not having atom bombs, which they won't destroy nor ban.Should we worry,should I worry? Well,not really,we,the people, are also armed with catch phrases such as "What?Me Worry?", and songs such as "Don't Worry,Be Happy."The Greeks are as a nation not quite so well armed, they are taught to wear these Tutu's,and sing and dance about,as we all learned from Zorba,The Greek. We're well endowed what with all the major wars in what happens and what to do, our governments have trained us to their doings, such as They,one or the other governments, bombs and said stated other nation to rubble, their troops march in, the people line up in lines and cheer them as the march in, then the other nation's government's army,bombs what's left, driving the other
nation out, as they leave, the people line up and cheer, then the other group marches back in,and the people line up and cheer again.......whoever is left after the bombings etc at any given time.

So.....this is bad..........this turning off of the atom bombs,the nuclear devices? Maybe not, but that means they'll have to go back to using very advanced sticks,as you know,The Simpson's (US cartoon show) taught us that sharp sticks,especially those with nails in the ends, worked on Kang and Kodos.......and in H.G Wells
War Of The Worlds,and others, it was disease that killed them off, but it seems these have not landed in Pakistan yet so until they do....What?Me Worry?,Don't Worry,Be Happy!



From:http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/i/ian_dury_and_the_blockheads/
(Quote..)
Ian Dury And The Blockheads

Ban The Bomb lyrics



Wrap yourself in silver paper put a sandbag on your head
Crawl inside your fall-out shelter underneath your garden shed
Boil an egg, have a cuddle, cut your toe-nails, make the bed
By the time this record's finished, everybody will be...

Wrap yourself in silver paper put a sandbag on your head
Crawl inside your fall-out shelter underneath your garden shed
Boil an egg, have a cuddle, cut your toe-nails, make the bed
By the time this record's finished, everybody will be dead

Ban the bomb
Ban the bomb
Ban the bomb
Ban the bomb

For those that do not wish to die, raise up your voices to the sky
And sing away the missiles

Wash your smalls, feed the cactus, telephone your uncle Fred
By the time this record's finished everybody will be dead

Ban the bomb
Ban the bomb
Ban the bomb
Ban the bomb...

(Unquote).

Think in Unicode the Hexadecimal U+262E the Peace Symbol, prefer decimal, that's Decimal 9774

THINK...................