Secret Squirrel has turned his thoughts to the problems of modern times, a Britain who's British Empire has shrunk,all but disappeared, mired in economic woes of the day, but Secret Squirrel has seen a solution to it all.Consider now that The British Raj is the name given to the period of British colonial rule in South Asia between 1858 and 1947,the height of the British Colonial empire.......the height of The British Empire, Britain at its greatest.
Well,nowadays we're in a rather poor and depressing time,the economy is collapsing,our very friends are enemies, openly demanding we return islands and possessions in foreign places, over to them,whilst they happily retain theirs, and our governments of the day are afraid to return like in kind,and even yet live in fear,afraid to comment on the foreign territories and possessions of those others, afraid to demand that what's theirs be turned over to us, the British people. Nay, it is a sad time,a time so sad we shall soon be seeing our Navy having to share ships, aircraft,aircraft carriers et all with those foreign to Britain,they not sharing ours, ours having near disappeared,we having near nothing left to
share, but we being forced to share theirs.
What needs be done, is we must start over again, using the model of the past, to build and bring about a future, a brighter future,a happier future, and England of the future, a Britain of the future, one of wealth and prosperity for those who are British citizens.We must once again, turn to our culture, our heritage, the examples of our ancestors,those who have gone before, we must become rededicated to the grand traditions of British Imperialism in the face of capitalism, globalisation and the distinct lack of culture both in Britain,and the world.The British Empire was the first genuinely global empire, an empire that ranged, at times, from the American colonies in the West, Australia and New Zealand in the East, Canada and her dominions in the North and huge chunks of Africa in the South,
including Egypt and Rhodesia,and what was thence AllIndia, India,Pakistan,Bangladesh,Burma.
Quite simply,we must begin at the beginning,when the British East India company started it all,in 1600,under Queen Elizabeth I,and later turned it all over to Her Majesty,Queen Victoria I,in 1858. What needs be done, with the present Queen Elizabeth II, we must simply once again start such a company,perhaps being traditionalists, we will keep the same name,somewhat,perhaps disguised, under the name of,say, The Benevolent East India Trading Company,and in and after the same fashion run the company as it was run, properly,based under the guise and necessity of benevolent and equal reciprocal trade,building things once more as it was,and shall once again be,and then suitably,in like and proper fashion, after perhaps 200 years, again "turn" it over to Her Majesty, projected as being then Queen Victoria
II, and so England will have regained Her Majesty,The British Empire once more, and things will thence be peachy keen.
Where do we begin? At the beginning. Far from Britain being historically a never-ending line of tyrants and wayward rulers, Britain has been, to some degree at any rate, a parliamentary democracy that reigned in kings and queens and rulers, and was the first to have a popular revolution, under Cromwell, in Europe. The Englishmen who started the first serious forays into venture capitalism, were little more than pirates and adventurers who plundered the Spanish main, and wanted a slice of the wealth flowing out of the New World, of which ventures were often backed by Royal decree. Here begins the roots of the British Empire.
From ideas of empire rose the ideas of capitalism, free trade, enforced labour, rigid hierarchies, the criminalisation of the poor, and severe and almost unquestioned divides between those who had and those who did not have, both at home
and abroad. That this process made many people seriously wealthy cannot be disproved, that it also made many many more people far worse off is, in reality, most definitely not an important an issue to deal with.
That the legacies of empire are far reaching can be seen only too clearly in places like Ireland, Africa, India and much of the Middle East at this present time.And so,we must do it all again, and we can do it all again, in the same places even yet.Face it, they're not all that badly off in modern times,are they? Imagine, such a beginning for them to where they are today. And so too you see that when we do it all again, they will at some future point,when the Empire crumbles,once more, they will be magnificently better off,and farther off, than they are today. Merely they
must be made to make sacrifices for Britain, as they did in the past, to get to today, to get to a far better future as such a time may then come when they are again yet freed of Britain, but in the meantime,we In Britain, those of Britain, whom really are all that matters, will once again revel, and enjoy the magnificently orgiastic life of the times of the past Queen Victoria(don't invite Her to the orgies,or there'll be trouble)the life of the British Raj! Raj!Raj!Raj! must be the cheerleading rallying cry! Raj!Raj! Raj! Three Cheers! Raj! Raj! Raj!And so we must proceed using the examples of the past, and proceed ever onwards, with our backsides to the future,and so a good time will be had by all, providing they're British.Yes, our decendents will look back, look back on my location,Dunny On The Wold, surrounded by,beleaguered and beseiged by, the colony of Canada,and say, The Second British empire, started here, in
Dunny On The Wold.From small things do giant acorns grow, and from a nut, from an acorn of an idea, will grow, The Second British Empire.Nuts! Says I.
Secret Squirrel,
MRL,
Minister For Re-Deranged Re-Engineering.
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