Secret Squirrel Makes War Much Easier On The Populations Of The World.

   Secret Squirrel has seen the horrors of the day
developing, emerging, evolving, war being very much like the Alien Xenomorph. He's seen two ridiculous fat men circling,taunting and screaming at each other, (Donald Trump and Kim Jung Un) threatening nuclear war. This displeases Squirrel enormously since Squirrel has pondered and noted that Trump and Kim Jong Un are both working towards and want war, nuclear war evidently. Squirrel has pondered, "I'm gonna die! I'm gonna die! I'm doomed! I'm DOOMED! They taught me up here in school, I have to crawl under a desk, and sniff Rhoda's behind! I don't HAVE a desk, and Rhoda's in Montreal! I'm gonna die! I'm gonna die! I'm DOOMED! I'm DOOMED!" Yes, this displeases Squirrel very very much.

     Well, what of war? Total war became the norm only a few centuries ago.  In medieval times, with exceptions, wars were between combatants.  Civilian populations were left to themselves, except perhaps to raid their farms for food.  In wars of conquest destroying producers and productive assets was counterproductive.

As I say, there were exceptions.  One was the Mongols, who eradicated entire populations.  They valued empty pasture over settlements.

In ancient times armies could be quite brutal, but the term "total war" came into use to describe the difference between modern and medieval war, which had become the norm.

The American Civil War was total war on the North's part.  The civilian population was deliberately targeted, most notably in Sherman's march to the sea.  One northern newspaper editorialized:

 “When the rebellious traitors [Southern secessionists] are overwhelmed in the field . . . it must not be to return to peaceful and contented homes.  They must find poverty at their firesides, and see privation in the anxious eyes of mothers, and the rags of children.”

Another paper “calls .  . for the punishment of all individuals at the South, by hanging, and the confiscation of everyone’s property. ”  Richmond “must be laid in ashes.”  Baltimore “must become a heap of cinders and ashes”  and “its inhabitants ‘ought either to be slaughtered, or scattered to the winds . . .” Virginia and Maryland “deserve to be laid waste and made desolate.”

The fire bombing of Dresden in WWII was designed to terrorize the civilian population of Germany by killing many of them.  Likewise that atomic bombs at Nagasaki and Hiroshima.

It's sometimes claimed that democracies don't go to war with each other.  Nonsense.  When they do, total war is the norm.

When kings ruled the lands wars were between them, for limited objectives.  They paid from their own treasuries (though at times augmented by taxation of the people).  Citizens were otherwise irrelevant, except for those young who might callously picture war as an adventure and enlist (or be shanghaied) into the military..  Trade went on mostly as usual even across national borders.

In democratic systems the entire populace is theoretically responsible for the war, having elected the leaders.  Propaganda is put forth to convince them of the rightness of the cause.  The industrial capacity of the nation is commandeered for war production.  The people are to not trade with the enemy.  They're expected to hail the combatants as heroes, and castigate the other side's combatants as cowards.

Some recent wars don't quite fit the pattern, only because they have been relatively small.  It may be total war in Afghanistan, but with a voluntary military many Americans can see such actions as remote and irrelevant to their daily lives.
total war.........According to Karl von Clausewitz, war is "the continuation of politics by other means"....some would say a failure of politics, but then obviously throughout the ages, politicians have most definitely been utter failures much as they still are yet today.

The war is the way to conflict, more serious socio-political conflict between two or more groups. It is perhaps one of the most ancient of all international relations, even if it becomes a phenomenon particularly with the beginning of civilizations. It is the organized confrontation of human armed groups, with the purpose of controlling human or natural resources, or disarmament, submission and, where applicable, destruction of the enemy, and are produced by multiple causes, among which tend to be the maintenance or replacement of power relations, resolve economic or territorial disputes.
In political science and international relations, the war is a political instrument, to the service of a State or another organization with political purposes.

The word war has Germanic origin, "werra", which means fight, discord, tumult. And the term refers to the struggle or armed conflict between two or more Nations or sides of one nation; as well as combat, dissent among two or more people.
The war has been a habitual means of problem solving among groups throughout our centuries. A war begins when you leave the dialog and appears violence; all with the aim of submitting to others, which is transformed into "enemy" to our will.
A war unfold a series of ideological, political, social, economic, and military; many are the reasons for it include the lust for power of the person or group, own a territory, religious or moral issues, etc.
When a war takes place as well know groups loaded weapons, that today have evolved and are more dangerous for humanity; Science and technology allows the use of new weapons and materials, nor can forget the refinement of methods of espionage and logistics systems and communication.
There are many consequences bringing the wars, one of them are great human and material, serious losses and serious political and economic disruptions sometimes lack of food, medicines, clothing and housing, among other consequences.
The war can refer to many types, we have the civil war, which occurs between opposite sides of a country; the world war, which is a military confrontation involving countries from different continents; the holy war, where religious grounds into action.
Chemical warfare, where there is the use of chemicals that can disperse over wide expanses in the form of dust, gases, vapors or aerosols, damaging the health of the living being and the environment; nuclear war, which refers to the use of nuclear weapons; the dirty war, where it is employed coercive or violent illegal actions by the State or paramilitary groups, among others.

The war can be described as an armed struggle between two or more States, or between areas of the same country (civil war). Also called war the violent opposition between two or more people by different interests. What triggers a war are many, but most of the conflicts of humanity had origin in religious issues, as for example, the Crusades, or territorial expansions, such as the expansion of the Roman Empire, the conquest of America or the first world war. Other crucial issues of wars are the ambitions of power, or economic causes.
Two world wars events to mankind in the 20th century and determined the creation of the United Nations, to try to settle international conflicts and not become armed clashes. However the war is as old as man and threat with accompany him in his time on earth while it lasts.

 If not war, then what? What are nonviolent alternatives to war?

The technology and methodology of war has developed over several thousand years, particularly accelerating in the last century. The United States has numerous military academies and war colleges (for a list see here) and spends about $600 billion each year for weapons development, military training, and maintenance of a massive war machine. The world currently spends over one trillion dollars each year on military might. Sadly thence we see that war is a business,big business, and good for business. We also note that income tax was first started by William Pitt The Younger, to fund his Napoleonic Wars...and income tax and wars have continued to this day.

  Now I mentioned are there alternatives to war..well let's consider the 1965 Italian movie, The Tenth Victim....In the near future, big wars are avoided by giving individuals with violent tendencies a chance to kill in the Big Hunt. The Hunt is the most popular form of entertainment in the world and also attracts participants who are looking for fame and fortune. It includes ten rounds for each competitor, five as the hunters and five as the victims. The survivor of ten rounds becomes extremely wealthy and retires. Scenes switch between the pursuit, romance between a hunter and a victim, with a narrator explaining the rules and justification of the Hunt. Now consider Trump and Kim Jung Un running about just trying to kill each other...........well the two obese lards would certainly run about, run themselves thin, hiding no doubt.......and then, consider this, would either be actually willing to die for their respective countries, to go out and THEMSELVES risk death for either of their obese,jaded and somewhat mental ridiculous and warped views and sentiments? Hardly likely is it.

  Consider substituting a Tamagotchi War,
Tamagotchi was invented by Aki Maita for which she won the 1997 Ig Nobel Prize for economics. Tamagotchi is a keychain-sized virtual pet simulation game. The characters are colorful and simplistically designed creatures based on animals, objects, or people. Beginning with the 2004 Tamagotchi Plus/Connection, a second wave of Tamagotchi toys emerged, featuring a different graphic design by JINCO and gameplay which elaborated upon the first generations. However, the story behind the games remained the same: Tamagotchis are a small alien species that deposited an egg on Earth to see what life was like, and it is up to the player to raise the egg into an adult creature. The creature goes through several stages of growth, and will develop differently depending on the care the player provides, with better care resulting in an adult creature that is smarter, happier, and requires less attention. Gameplay can vary widely between models, and some models, such as TamagoChu, require little to no care from the player. For its current 2 decades, Tamagotchi has gained popularity worldwide....Consider them placed in a room,in a mansion with all needs provided and the first who's Tamagotchi dies, looses...that and their life. Again it's THEM isn't it, neither would like to risk themselves. WAR would be preferred by both.

    The how to satisfy their needs for wars,them NOT getting killed................and nobody getting killed at all? Would that be acceptable? To Them probably not, but how's about you consider Squirrel's solution to not having a messy war, by still having a war...of sorts.

     Now consider this........Paintball is a game developed in the 1980s in which players eliminate opponents from play by hitting them with dye-filled, breakable, oil and gelatin paintballs, or pellets, usually shot from a carbon dioxide or compressed air (Nitrogen) powered “paintball marker”. The game is regularly played at a sporting level with organized competition involving major tournaments, professional teams, and players. Games can be played on indoor or outdoor fields of varying sizes. A game field is scattered with natural or artificial terrain, which players use for tactical cover. Game types in paintball vary, but can include capture the flag, elimination, ammunition limits, defending or attacking a particular point or area, or capturing objects of interest hidden in the playing area. Depending on the variant played, games can last from seconds to hours, or even days in scenario play.

The legality of paintball varies among countries and regions. In most areas where regulated play is offered, players are required to wear protective masks, use barrel blocking safety equipment, and game rules are strictly enforced.MilSim ("Military Simulation") is a mode of play designed to create an experience closer to military reality, where the attainment of specific objectives is the most important aspect of the game.

MilSim addresses the logistics of combat, mission planning and execution, and dealing with limited resources and ammunition. Players are typically eliminated from the game when struck by paint. For aesthetic reasons, MilSim often uses airsoft guns rather than paintball guns, as their prominent hoppers appear unrealistic, however Airsoft pellets, being smaller caliber and fired at higher velocity, have an increased risk of player injury if the scenario involves high rates of fire or close range.

With the advent of shaped projectiles, such as the First Strike, and the resulting development of magazine fed markers, a considerable increase in range, accuracy and MILSIM realism was gained. Functionally speaking, magazine-fed markers are no different than any other paintball marker, with one exception. Instead of paintballs being gravity fed from a bulky hopper, which sits above the marker, shaped projectiles (or paintballs) are fed from a spring-loaded magazine from the bottom of the marker. The caliber of both the gravity fed and magazine fed markers are the same (.68 caliber) and the velocities are also generally the same. The increased range and accuracy of the shaped projectile comes from the higher ballistic coefficient that the shaped projectile has, and the gyroscopic spin imparted onto the projectile from a rifled barrel and fins on the projectile itself. Magazine fed markers and shaped projectiles have allowed marker designs to more closely approximate the styling and functionality of actual (real steel) firearms, which intern has given paintball a better avenue to compete with Airsoft in the MilSiM environment.

    You are getting Squirrel's idea now aren't you. You see each nation sends a properly appointed etc PAINTBALL TEAM.....to fight it out to the finish, according to the rules, whilst being watched and monitored. In the end, with the last man standing, untouched, THEIR team and nation etc would be the winner, and the desired,required outcome, be it territorial, technological or whatever would be fulfilled.
 Well, how's about that eh! Whot! Beats the mess,the destruction,the horrors, the caracsses of the populations,the destruction that is war! Much better all round isn't it.
    But would Kim Jung Un and Trump go for it, or would they and do they prefer............war...of any and all kinds...........think now. But here, Squirrel has provided an easy and painless and much less messy alternative to war.

 Secret Squirrel,
MRL, MP, Dunny On The Wold,
Minister For Re-Deranged Re-Engineering.

Secret Squirrel On The Validity Of Time Travel

Secret Squirrel has solid verifiable proof that time travel exists! It works! it's functional! It is! United Airlines Flight UA890, took off from Shanghai on 1st January,2017, and landed in San Francisco on 31st Dec, 2016. Why that's called time travel boy, time travel..............you see it works..............Secret Squirrel has proof.............it also proves that America is somewhat backward...............However from America, we could thence you see go forwards in time,going to Asia........that's time travel............it exists. You've just got to admit, Squirrel beats Stephen Hawking........

Secret Squirrel,
MRL,MP,Dunny On The Wold,
Minister For Re-Deranged Re-Engineering.

Secret Squirrel Spies An Economic Windfall In Foreign Currency Exchange And Sale

100 Trillion Zimbabwe Banknotes 2008 AA Series CIRCULATED
FOR SALE...........note the value sold at
$56.48
 2 to cart for $56.40 each and save 1%
 200 to cart for $53.95 each and save 5%

From the Great American Coin Company.........
Note the real value......
1 ZWD =0.00276319US dollars
1 USD = 361.900 ZWD
They're making an enormous profit selling Zimbabwe pounds you know,the math is most defiantely utterly enormous such that the computer expressed a cry for mercy and utterly refused to do any of the calculations at all, and this, imagine, an AMERICAN company......well now........tell me....why ever can't the Bank of England do this, why ever didn't the Bank Of England do this................?? There's money to be made, I Secret Squirrel (MRL,Monster Raving Loony Party, MP,Dunny On The Wold), have come to this conclusion, I Secret Squirrel KNOW this.why doesn't THE GOVERNMENT know and do this......sad sorry state of affairs it is.........Government in England, sad and sorry....clearly there is vast profit to be made buying up Zimbabwe bank notes, and then selling them for sound BRITISH pounds.............just look if the yanks can do it for US dollars so too can we..............
Secret Squirrel says we should...............and if and since the British government doesn't see the sense in doing this Secret Squirrel DOES! There profit to be made! Secret Squirrel is off to Zimbabwe to engineer a deal to buy up Zimbabwe dollars!!! Or pounds or whatever it is............

Secret Squirrel,
MRL,MP,Dunny On The Wold,
Minister For Re-Deranged Re-Engineering.

Secret Squirrel Ponders The World Of Toilet Paper Currencies.

 The U.S. Department of the Treasury first issued paper U.S. currency in 1862 to make up for the shortage of coins and to finance the Civil War.They discovered that printing presses could print up mass quantities of paper currency so long as the supply of paper and ink didn't run out, and then again when "recharged".....The Confederate dollar, often called a "Greyback", was first issued into circulation in April 1861,beating out the United States, BUT the USA discovered by declaring Confederate currency worthless it had NO value.....while stating theirs did, gave their currency value..........and so in the USA printed currency started from there.....first the Confederates, then the USA....The first paper notes were printed in denominations of 1 cent, 5 cents, 25 cents, and 50 cents. Then they discovered they could print higher and higher denominations...in short they just print money.
   Well now The U.S. Treasury decides to print money in the United States as it owns and operates printing presses.The Treasury Department is actually the entity responsible for printing paper currency and minting coins, overseeing the Bureau of Engraving and Printing, or BEP as they call it, and the U.S. Mint. As of August 2015, there is approximately $1.2 trillion in cash. Much of this is located overseas where, due to a lack of faith in local governance, U.S. dollars are used.When banks need cash, they request it from the Federal Reserve. The Federal Reserve electronically deposits it into the bank's account and charges the appropriate interest rate. When they have excess cash on hand, banks return it to the Federal Reserve, settling any accounts.
It can and does arbitrary amounts of dollars indefinitely without consequence, it can print enormous amounts just at the moment because there's currently an outsized demand for dollars which it's merely meeting. When banks need money it supplies the banks, and charges interest.......FED always print's USD as much as it wants, thanks to each and every nation in the world, who use USD for their trade , that way we all help USA to maintain the demand for USD high. Now In the USA they need money for wars and what ever and what have you's, the "President" etc decides they need so much money, they print up a Treasury Certificate for said what ever billions amount, the take it to The treasury Department as an I.O.U., they take it, place it on a pile of yet more of them, and print up the required amount, with the government promising to pay it's Treasury Department.The central bank(Treasury) is effectively financing the deficit of the federal government on a permanent basis by issuing large amounts of currency. So Squirrel discovered, on the internet, that there are rolls and rools of Toilet Paper printed up with US currency one them, some go cheap for 1$ bills, others, in the 100's(Ben Franklins). Well now isn't that all very interesting, Squirrel used to order from CHINA......toilet paper, with Celine Dion's face on it. Now money toilet paper, can be had for $3 a roll......270 sheets to a roll............so Ben Franklins at $100,that'd be $27000 per roll, US$. Now the US government prints it up and the toilet paper people print it up, but the toilet paper money is on fit to wipe your butt with, same value as Celine Dion on your toilet paper. When Dunny on the Wolds, initial independent nation surrounded by the colony of Canada was independent, the potato crop failed, not good when your currency is based on THE POTATO......however it went to a Principality, and then annexed itself to ENGLAND,becoming a rotten burrow requiring it's own MP,duly elected,a position held by myself,Secret Squirrel. Had I know I could then have printed up my own currency on toilet paper at 4800 rolls, at 3.75$ each...........things would've been different.........alas and alack, I was having Celine Dion's image printed on toilet paper a useless thing indeed except to wipe one's bottom with..but so it goes, and so too it goes with currency. The American Dollar is valued, by everyone, printed up just as so much quantified toilet paper, and IT has value, but NOT my bum wad toilet paper currency should I have it printed up......There's just no fairness in the world is there. So it is, Squirrel sits surrounded by piles of monetarily printed toilet paper rolls, that just nobody will accept as currency. No fairness in the world, just no fairness.....Squirrel, and the MRL must change all that.

Secret Squirrel,
MRL,MP,Dunny On The Wold,
Minister For Re-Derange Re-Engineering.

Secret Squirrel Advises The American Government How To Reduce It's National Debt To Zero AT ZERO Cost.

The America government, through not fault of it's own, has not consulted with Secret Squirrel on it's economy,nor has the British government for that matter......to their great detriment. However, in demonstrating Squirrel's sheer economic genius, Squirrel has decided, as an example of his great mental cunning, fortitude, intelligence, nay need I say cosmic genius to solve America's great national debt crisis.
Indeed Squirrel CAN SAY, and indeed does, that he has studied, directly ECONOMICS under John Kenneth Galbraith, writer of many many great economics works,and Economics advisor to President Kennedy, and under Dr. Sani, in Canada, one time Economics Advisor to the Canadian government. So knowing that you just know Squirrel has a solution to America's debt crisis.
Firstly I must explain the American economic system,financial system, based on the US dollar, on which the world seems to be dependent and uses as a marker of value of their currency. Indeed secondly, nations build up debts, great debts, and due to various debt factors their using the US dollar as standard economically, their currencies fluctuate against the dollar, dropping against,it, but never rising above it.....since it is the standard used.
Now in America, they use The American dollar, now as the United States builds debts, it needs money to run itself, and of course, it's very very many great foreign wars,pay for it's massive military, pay for it's massive government bulk etc, such that it cannot afford National Healthcare as other nations do. Well, when a government, the American government, runs out of money they have massively bloviationally fired crisis in government, in the end with much strainings and fartings, they agree........and the Government then prints up Treasury Certificates, with massive dollar amounts on them, an I.O.U. really is what it is, it then approaches the Federal Treasury with it, the treasury takes it, looks at the amount, and prints up the stated amounts of US dollars.
The Treasury certificate is thence placed away on a pile of other such certificates.Of course, the figures printed up add to the National Debt. So How will America solve it's now 19 trillion and mounting National Debt, how will it pay it off? With the printed certificate dollars GIVEN to other nations to pay off their debts?
No it seems not.....but that IS YET ONE WAY to pay off their national debt to other foreign nations, BUT the US government is loath to do this. So how is America to do it. Well in some ways exactly like that.......Now, figure this, there are 15 nations with debts in the TRILLIONS, the rest are in the paltry BILLIONS.
Now consider this, 19trillion, divided by the other debt ridden nations, over a trillion in debt,each, which total 14, gives 1.35trillion each.
Now picture this you American there, the American government goes to The Treasury..........not....what the government must do is go to each Nation of the 14 debt miscreants, and each MUST be told. This brings Hong Kong,Belgium.Australia to ZERO debt, Canada has then 100 Billion, Switzerland 300billion, China 380Billion, Singapore 400Billion, Spain 1 trillion, Italy 1.3 trillion, Japan 1.5trillion, Luxembourg 2.1billion, Germany 4.3trillion, France 4.4Trillion, UK 8trillion.........all other nations keep their debts as they are.
All he has to do, really without bothering with the print up currency process, is just present each nation with the certificate, pronounce their debt reduced by 1.35Trillion, and take back the certificate, indeed he need not print up certificates for each, just use that one in line for each, thence return to The Treasury Department, pronounce America's debt at ZERO, and burn all the existent and existing Treasury I.O.U. Certificates, and start again.
NOW all those 14 nations have been paid, their debts have been reduced, well they should be happy, and America, has really spent no money, and it's debt is thence at zero, and it should be happy, and can commence to increase again by the same rate and whatever and where ever.
The Treasury department can thence simply burn all those I.O.U. which have thence been paid on return to the united States from those 14 foreign nations which have had their debts reduced, and thence the I.O.U. Treasury Certificates can ALL be burned, and the system entirely restarted. It works............Squirrel has seen it. The USA now has ZERO debt having PAID out to those nations each 1.3 trillion lowering the US debt to absolutely zero.......The only problem the United States and it's dimwitted government is to get those foreigners of those foreign governments to accept the 1.3 trillion payout towards their debt..............BUT.............................what?  Is the American government wise enough and intelligent enough to do it...........??
Well, for one thing the US government hasn't had, no it seems shall ever have, the utter genius to think about that and just do it.......too easy is it..........sad sorry state of affairs it is in America's government, getting worse every day, and gotten far worse and will get yet more ridiculously and laughably worse......Or will they sulk it having been Squirrel's economic idea.....?
We shall see...we shall see.....we shall see....but any American government which doesn't follow Squirrel's advice...........is and must be utterly and completely.............mental.
Secret Squirrel,
MRL,MP,Dunny On The Wold,
Minister For Re-=Deranged re-Engineering.

Secret Squirrel Discovers The Secret Of Ireland

Ah yes, only the English could have been so subtle....not seen it all this time?
No? What not? IRELAND..........so what's up with that eh? Whot!
Well, you see, IRE LAND..............the land of IRE..............IRE you see IRE LAND........here IRE defined, take you pick but the English seem to have thought that all apply.............

Word Origin and History for IRE

n.=noun

c.1300, from Old French ire "anger, wrath, violence" (11c.), from Latin ira "anger, wrath, rage, passion," from PIE root *eis-, forming various words denoting "passion" cf. Greek hieros "filled with the divine, holy," oistros "gadfly," originally "thing causing madness;" Sanskrit esati "drives on," yasati "boils;" Avestan aesma "anger").

Old English irre in a similar sense is from an adjective irre "wandering, straying, angry," cognate with Old Saxon irri "angry," Old High German irri "wandering, deranged," also "angry;" Gothic airzeis "astray," and Latin errare "wander, go astray, angry" (see err (v.)).

Secret Squirrel,
MRL,MP,Dunny On The Wold,
Minister For Re-Deranged Re-Engineering.

Secret Squirrel Believes It's Time To Review Idi Amin's Head Of State Speech to Queen Elizabeth.

Idi Amin Gave Head of State Speech To Queen Elizabeth.
“My majesty Mr. Queen Sir, horrible ministers and members of parliament, invented Guests, ladies under gentlemen. I hereby thank you completely… Mr. Queen, sir; and also what he has done for me and my fellow Uganda who come with me.
We have really eaten very much. And we are fed up completely:And also very thanks to you keenly open up from all windows: so that those plenty climates can come into lunch. But before I go back to my country with a plane from the Entebbe airport of London I wish to invitation you Mr. Queen, to become home to Uganda so that we can also revenge on you .
.
You will eat a full cow:and also feel up your stomach and walk with difficult because of full stomach completely. Even when you want to rest at night; I will make sure that you sleep on top of me in the top up stairs of my mansion completely so that you can enjoy all the gravity of fresh air.

If I leave the presidency my predecessor will rule for life.

“But now am sorry because I have to tell you that I have made a shortcall on you only. But next time I shall make a long call on you to last the whole moon completely. Thank you very much to allow me to undress you completely before these extinguished ladies undergentlemen sir.
Lastly but not list, I ask the band to play our international anthem of the republic of Uganda and also the British international anthem..Your majesty sir, I thank you from the bottom of my heart and from the bottoms of all the people of Uganda.

say what you want about Idi, but he really could write a great speech...................Idi Amin,a man, and a speech not easily forgotten.........a lesson in the art of speech writing not easily forgotten.............

Secret Squirrel,
MRL,MP,Dunny On The Wold,
Minister For Re-Deranged re-Engineering.