Secret Squirrel has turned his attention to Britain's problems with
those who belong in Her Majesty's Prison For The Extremely Naughty.Quite
frankly, they're expensive, but necessary to house.Let's have a look at
a recently built facility those lads given to naughtynees.H.M. Prison
Magilligan, near Coleraine,450 prisoners cost 200 m pounds to
build(319.62 million U.S dollars),that's 444444.444 pounds per
prisoner(in US dollars that's $709333.333,matter of fact we'll switch to
dollars,much easier,the Americans print it all up, we could too, and
would they ever notice?I think not. So to dollars it is,US
dollars).Other housing would in fact be very much cheaper.
Take for example a cruise ship, let's look at Oasis of the Seas Luxury
Cruise Liner. The 16-deck ship, which has an estimated build cost of
$1.24bn,(1,240,000,000) is the largest cruise ship afloat with a tonnage
of 220000gt (43% more than the Freedom Class Cruise ships),compares
somewhat with the Titanic.It has a personage capacity of 5400 at double
occupancy (2700 personages at single occupancy. For our purposes we'll
go with double ocupancy, no use making things for our naughty inmates a
true paradise. Now at Billion $ 1.24, that's $229629.63 per prisoner
isn't it.By heavens it's much cheaper than H.M. Prison Magilligan isn't
it,and we're accomodating 12 times the number of prisoners!!( If we
splurged at single occupancy we'd be at $459259.259,rather the same cost
as the prison then, be no saving you know). But in either and all
cases, such a ship puts those given to mad dogginess,or dodginess if you
prefer,at sea,surrounded by water, unable to escape really,a natural
moat. Now the cost is certainly attractive per prisoner isn't it!They
could hardly complain, even yet they'd be living in abject luxury at
cheap rate cost to Her Majesty too wouldn't they. But hey, we can
further reduce costs to Her Majesty and even yet increase the
accomodation of those who have misbehaved in a manner displeasing to Her
Majesty.
Consider now Edith Maersk,a container ship and the sister ship of Emma
Maersk, thus the world's largest cargo ship,a construction cost US
of$145,000,000,. It has capacity for 13500 containers.Consider
modification of a container to housing,
including kitchen and toilet, double occupancy, that'd give a capacity
of 27,000 prisoners, a cost per prisoner of
only,yes,only,$5370.37037,and house more than 60 time H.M. Prison
Magilligan. The ship has a length of 397.00 m (1,302.49 ft) and a beam
of 56.00 m (183.73 ft). The depth of the vessel is 30.00 m (98.43 ft)
and while fully loaded the ship can reach a draft of 17.5 m (57 ft). The
deadweight of the container ship is 156,907 metric tons, while the
gross tonnage is 170,794 gross
tons.You see a ship is less expensive to build,far less.............plus
there would be no escape from there surrounded by a safe sea
moat.Consider the size of the container rooms,20 by 8 container at 8ft 6
inch height,living area 170 square feet
l,studio 12 x 8 for 6 x8 kitchen,toilet 5 by 8 bathroom.Not bad.
Now consider the size of the vessel that the containers are stacked on
in terms of Length x Breadth: 398 m X 56 m,giving 22288 square meters
for containers,generally speaking. But consider now another idea,
surrounded by the sea, an island as it were, specifically an abandoned
and otherwise useless island, surrounded by the sea, an island such as
Diego Garcia. One sectional island of it has a fully useable space of
173529203 square metres for Diego Garcia, this works to a collassal
multiplier of 7785.76826,in terms of available space for containers, yes
that times the containers in the same space aboard the ship, that works
to 13500 containers aboard ship in the land area times that
figure,gives 105097500 prisoners to be accomodated in that area,single
occupancy,double occupancy twice that to 210195000.......wow! I'm not
even yet going to figure the cost per
prisoner, but cargo containers can be had for $1500.Cheap,
Effective.However in all of the above sceanarios, we do have to heat
their facilities,provide them with air conditioning,provide them with
prepared foods, provide them with hot water and sanitation facilities,
and also recreational facitlities and whatever the where with all and
have it all that intails incarceration in Britain in what ever facility
of Her Majesty's Prisons For The Extremely Naughty.Cheap, Effective.Job
done. But then consider is there a far far cheaper way? Yes,there
certainly is.Consider.
Conrad Black is British, a citizen of Britain,just Britain. He wants the
Americans to deport him, when he serves his time in the American
prisons,to Canada.Well he isn't Canadian, he isn't from Canada.BUT if
the USA can deport him to Canada, then we can deport all of our naughty
miscreants to there also,for simply the cost of one way air fare,
Heathrow To Montreal.......$1000.That's it, no further costs what so
ever per prisoner,and, we're rid of them.It all hinges on the Canadians
taking a deported Conrad Black.
Secret Squirrel,
MRL,MP(Dunny on The Wold),
Minister For Re-Deranged Re-Engineering.
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